***** Anderson’s POV, 7:02 AM *****

“Well then,” I said, relaxing after several moments when it was clear that the mechanical golem wouldn’t attack us, “This is different.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Wiki replied. “Before your party steps into the dungeon, there are some rules I should make clear, as well as a little bit of bookkeeping to take care of.

“There are three rules that apply to the entire dungeon, all of which supercede all of the local rules that apply to certain rooms."

"What does that mean?" asked Tomjohn.

"These big rules. Big rules more important than little rules." Ton growled, reminding us that he is much smarter than he sounds.

"Precisely. Not how I would have said it, but simple and to the point. Would you mind if I used a recording of what you just said in the future?" asked Wiki. "Hopefully, that will make it easier to pound the importance of these rules into idiots heads."

"No problem. You no need ask."

"Better to ask when you don't need to than not ask and get in a big fight over something so simple."

"Truth."

"Getting back to the topic at hand, the three rules are as follows:

"First, respect the Dungeon and our rules, and we will respect you. Intentional defecation should be confined to the bathrooms at either end of the dungeon. Disregarding this rule will make your time here far less pleasant.

“Second, the Dungeon Core will react to all attempts of murder and rape as if the Core was the intended victim." We all winced at that. Not because anyone in this party would ever intentionally do something like that, but in sympathy for whichever idiots broke that rule. "Worse, should you somehow manage to leave the dungeon after breaking this rule, Broohn, Zona, and Amandine’s people will know what you did and respond accordingly."

"Just to be clear," I interrupted, "you're saying the dungeon will respond to these actions as if we were trying to steal or destroy the core, yes?"

"Precisely," answered Wiki, pausing briefly.

“Finally, if you feel like you’re in over your head and say that you surrender audibly, we will back off and allow you to leave the dungeon unchallenged. This rule comes with three warnings.

"The first warning is that this is not a last second emergency measure to save your life. If one of us is swinging an ax at your neck that you cannot dodge, deflect, block, or somehow negate, surrendering won’t help you. You’ll probably have lost your head before any of us understand what you’ve said, let alone had a chance to start acting on it.

"The second warning is that you abuse this rule at your peril. If you use this rule with honor and integrity, we will understand if, on occasion, there is some situation that requires you to negate your surrender. Simply yell 'I don't surrender,' before you jump back into the fight. Doing so regularly will result in your surrender being ignored.

"Finally, the third rule will not protect you from the consequences of breaking the first two. If you respect us and become unconscious, we will respect you and do what we can within reason to make sure you survive to wake up again. On the other hand, if you murdered someone and then passed out, you won't be waking up again.

"Also, unconsciousness will be treated the same way as surrendering, except there is no penalty for deciding to keep going after you wake up, provided you are in any condition to keep going. If you're not in such a condition, we'll carry you to the entrance and you'll probably wake up back in your room in the Inn, if you have one. If not, there are a few rooms set aside for such an occurrence.

“Any questions about those three rules?”

"Wait, are Broohn, Zona, and Amandine connected to the dungeon somehow?" asked Pogofamous.

"Yes. They are all contracted monsters. Before you ask, Broohn and Zona are powers in their own right who have never depended on the dungeon for their existence, the contract merely simplifies some things for everyone involved. Amandine and her people, on the other hand, are a special temporary-ish case due to the aftermath of a particularly nasty dark magic user. Unless there is an entire army assaulting the dungeon or something, they will not be part of the dungeon's challenges.

"Before you start panicking, The Queen and Guildmaster Marybothane already know about this and consider this dungeon to be an ally.

"Any other questions?"

"What if only part of the party is unconscious?" asked Ragnar.

"That depends on the situation and we will decide how to handle each situation as it comes."

“Can you tell us where the bathrooms are?” I asked when nobody else seemed to have a question.

“Certainly! Before I do that, I need to register all of you with the dungeon’s record systems individually, and then as a party. That way, should you die in the dungeon for any reason, we will have a name to place under your image in the Memorial to the Fallen.

“Second, every action that you take in the dungeon will be recorded and timed. These records will be sent to the Hall of Heroes to create a wide variety of leaderboards, ranking everything from how fast you’ve cleared various sections of the dungeon, to how much damage you do to your opponents, to the estimated value of the loot you’ve earned, to name a few. If, for some reason, there is a particular record that you would like removed from the public records, simply tell me, or any other dungeon monster that isn’t dead or actively trying to kill you and our Master will take care of it.

“Registration itself is rather simple. All you have to do is tell me your full name, as well as the name that you’d prefer to go by. Once I have all of you in the system, someone needs to tell me who your leader is and they’ll tell me the name of the group, then we can proceed.”

“What if we don’t have a group name yet?” asked Ragnar.

“Then we’ll come up with a randomized placeholder until y’all find an actual name. Be warned, if we have to create a name, heaven only knows what you’ll end up with.”

"Greetings!" said Tomjohn, starting the introductions, "My name is Tomjohn Leroy Adelbert. Most people call me Tomjohn."

"GREETINGS TOEJAM!" blared Wiki, in a slightly quieter, but otherwise perfect imitation of Broohn. "You'll have to redeem yourself in Broohn's eyes before anyone associated with the dungeon calls you anything else."

"But I thought you said you'd respect us-"

"You annoyed a dragon, Toejam." I said. "Consider yourself lucky to walk away with a few bruises and a new nickname."

"Yeah, you're right," he sighed. "Very well then."

After we'd stopped laughing at Tomjohn, we each introduced ourselves while I desperately tried to come up with a name for our group. I was so caught up in this struggle that I almost missed it when the last registration was a bit different than the rest.

"My name is Pogofamous Strickmore, and I go by Pogofamous."

"Wow. Now there's a name," said Wiki, pausing for a moment. "For having such an awesome name, you get a free piece of loot."

"I do?"

"Yup! You get a pogo stick! One moment, let me go grab it real quick," said Wiki before disappearing with a faint popping sound.

"I'm starting to see what Wiki meant when she? He? When they said you had no idea how different this Dungeon was going to be." commented Bobert.

"I'm back!" said Wiki as they popped out of nowhere with two similar objects in their hands, one much thicker than the other. Each object was a stick that was slightly more than a meter long with handles at the top and what appeared to be foot pedals near the bottom.

"Here, this one's yours," they added holding the thinner one out to Pogofamous.

"Thanks? What is it and how does it work?"

"It was originally designed as a child's toy, but eventually got adapted to do some cool tricks and such. Simply place the foot against the ground, grab the handles with both hands, the jump on. Like this!" Wiki demonstrated with the thicker pogo stick, bouncing in place.

"This is one of those things that's harder than it looks isn't it?" asked Pogofamous.

"Yes it is. Now, who's the leader of your group, and what is your group's name?"

"We are Anderson's Unnamed Adventurers!" proclaimed Shelvin excitedly.

"But-but-" I sputtered, completely at a loss for words. I had thought of that name a time or two in the past, but I'd always discarded it as being overly pretentious and self-absorbed.

"Relax Anderson," said Bobert soothingly, "the whole world knows that we wouldn't have survived to become an adventuring party if it wasn't for you."

"We talked about it last night while you were in the bathroom, and we're all agreed," added Ragnar. "Besides, everyone already calls us Anderson's Unnamed Adventurers."

"Fine. Let's just keep going."

"Excellent!" exclaimed Wiki, doing a stationary backflip on their pogo-stick as the rest of the lights came on behind them. "Now that registration is complete, I can trully welcome you to the Starship Dungeon! We hope you enjoy your time here in the dungeon and wish you the best of luck!"