Authors Note: I think it's important to tell you how Ive written this story just in case there's confusion in later chapters. Speech will have these "oooo" symbols, Inner monologue will have these 'oooo' symbols and normal description will be left without symbols. Also while my writing style has me working on 3 chapters at once, while this ones posted chapter 1 is being spell checked, chapter 2 is a rough draft and chapter 3 needs to be written. Chapters after this one might take longer because coming towards Christmas things get busy, but i promise you I will not stop writing chapters.

POV: Joseph Phisher

‘The light expands in my vision until the darkness is no more, and standing in this light filled world are 5 figures in a half circle facing me. On my far left there’s a man with a thin pale complexion, short dark hair and orbs of pitch for eyes, he wears a black robe and resembles a stereotypical cultist. Next to him stands a well-toned man with short brown hair, mud eyes, worn jeans and no shirt, give him a straw hat and a stalk to chew on an we have a farmer. At the center of the group is a ten year old girl with a simple white piece dress, long snow white hair and eyes of silver, for a child she feels old like a wise grandma. Next to her we have a super model with gold hair, gold eyes and … gold lips seriously this person probably has gold for bones. She’s too perfect with an Athenian goddess style dress an hourglass figure and those mango's stuck to her chest, look away before she blinds you.’

[Supermodel] “Welcome human to the realm of the gods, we have a proposition for you that I know you’re going to love, we want to offer you…”

‘I ignored the blond supermodel and turned to look at the final person in the group, her image was fuzzy as if trying to hide from my sight. Once the image was focused my voice screamed out of me revealing my thoughts to the world and shocking its few inhabitants.’

[Joseph] “DAAAMMMMMM THOSE TITS ARE HUGE!”

‘The blonde model was silenced, two males stifled there laughter and the wise girl didn’t speak a word. Surprised that I can speak as I still don’t have a presence and therefore no mouth, but it quickly passed while my vision focused on the owner of this fine rack and was met with the face of a true goddess.’

[Joseph] “So beautiful.”

‘Her facial features were not perfection but radiated life that made you feel warm; her eyes natural gems formed with a combination of emeralds and sapphires, her lips were dyed with an innocent pink you just want to kiss. Her hair was green like a forest and stretched down her back in a braid, she wore a dress made from leaves and vines normally erotic but it fit her so well. There is no doubt in my mind before me stands mother earth herself, if I still had a body it would be bowed forward in worship to this divine being.’

[Mother Earth] “Eh… ah… eeeeeeh!”

‘My goddess spoke and what a lovely voice it is like a sirens song, shame blondie had to interrupt with her plastic perfection and nagging tone.’

[Supermodel] “Excuse me what are you saying to my subordinate in front of me?”

‘At this point the other figures begun to talk blocking out my goddesses song, damn them but even with these interference's she is the only one I focus on.’

[Supermodel] “You two what are you saying?”

[Farmer] “You’ve been beat.”

[Cultist] “The people have spoken.”

[Supermodel] “I’m still his patron.”

[Cultist] “Doesn’t look like it, better hurry you won’t get another.”

[Supermodel] “No take him back, how can I use someone who won’t accept me?”

[Little Girl] “I’m afraid he’s right you made your choice for a catalyst; now let’s get this gathering back on track Irena looks to be having trouble.”

[Irena] “Wha… What are you saying… to be open and so… so… shameful.”

‘Aaah she spoke her voice is clear even through all these annoying gnats, but I’m sorry my goddess it seems I must listen to these heathens. I turn to face the center figure so the discussion can finish and my attention can return to the true goddess.’

[Little Girl] “Well then, (coughs to clear throat) Joseph Phisher as you have no doubt guessed we are gods and we have chosen you to be transferred from one gods domain to another.”

[Joseph] “Transfer?”

[Little Girl] “Yes. The gods of your world have struck a deal with gods from another world in order to delay your world’s apocalypse.”

[Joseph] “Apocalypse? When did this happen?”

[Little Girl] “Remember the Mayan calendar in 2012?”

[Joseph] “Yeah, supposed end of the world… wait that was true?”

[Little Girl] “Was true, it’s been prolonged for another 1000 years.”

[Joseph] “Eeeeeehhhh!”

[Little Girl] “Well now introduction time, on your left is Hades God of Death and Amaethon God of Agriculture there from your world.”

[Both Gods] “Hello.”

[Little Girl] “On your right are Alena Goddess of Creation and Irena Goddess of Life they oversee the world you will be transferring to.”

‘The two gods on my right wave but I only notice one of them, my goddess she looks so timid when she waves I feel blessed to be able to know her name.’

[Little Girl] “And now me, I’m here as a mediator between worlds, the Goddess of Wisdom Fila at your service. Now introduce yourself.”

[Joseph] “My name is Joseph Phisher 18 years old, mother…”

[Alena] “Ok let’s move on a bit we all know who he is.”

‘Figures miss golden touch has no manners, bet she follows the goddess stereotype of being a complete jackass.’

[Fila] “Ok sorry Joseph but we will have to move things along. So to be brief the gods of your world have offered you up in exchange for prolonging the apocalypse. In your new home of Floera you will help in the advancement of its current population, are you with me so far?”

[Joseph] “Yes but I have a question?”

[Fila] “Ok what is it?”

[Joseph] “If I was chosen does that mean one of you is responsible for my death?”

‘After speaking Alena seemed to get very nervous shuffling on the spot and refusing to make eye contact, bet she is responsible that heartless bitch.’

[Fila] “Unfortunately you were expected to die today, so we did not need to interfere.”

[Joseph] “Oh.”

[Hades] “But you were supposed to be killed by a truck not a cartwheeling car, and being stuck in an empty void for 30 minutes was not supposed to happen.”

[Alena] “Why did you bring it up again? I already said …”

[Fila] “Silence! That is no longer important, I apologize to you Joseph but could you let this one slide.”

[Joseph] “Ok, please continue.”

‘I noticed that Alena, you bitch cornered me murdered me then forgot about me didn’t you, a visit from a truck would have been merciful compared to what you did. I will let this talk slide for the sake of my goddess, but from now on your not worth being called anything but bitch.’

[Fila] “Back on topic Alena will arrange for you to be reincarnated as a baby of a high ranking family, she will also grant you gifts and her blessing. At the same time Hades and Amaethon will provide compensation to your family for your sacrifice, anything you want to add.

[Joseph] “I will have to object to the reincarnation.”

‘Like hell I’m going to let her choose my body, chances are I’d end up as a female sex slave destined to make advances in providing pleasure to overpaid nobles.’

[Alena] “What do you mean object, you…”

[Fila] “Calm down Alena…”

[Alena] “Calm down, he…”

[Fila] “I said quiet! (silence ensued) Now what do you mean object, please explain?”

[Joseph] “I appreciate you compensating my family, and I’m ok with reincarnating as an infant; that said I don’t want my body chosen by her.”

[Alena] “How dare you, I…”

[Fila] “Quiet! Please continue Joseph.”

[Joseph] “Thank you, I would like my body to come from Irena the Goddess of Life.”

[Irena] “Wait… what… but… you can’t, you…”

[Fila] “Very well, I can allow this.”

[Alena & Irena] “Whaaaaaaaa!”

[Fila] “After all this talk we have not taken Joseph’s feelings into consideration, the deal will now be amended Joseph will attain a body from Irena while also gaining her blessing and still retain his knowledge from Earth, he will also have a gift from myself and Alena no objections. Does anyone want to add anything… Alena, Irena.”

[Irena] “Ok Fila.”

[Alena] “Alright I get it, Irena can have him.”

‘Hallelujah a body crafted by my own goddess shame that bitch has to contaminate it but beats having a body made by her, stupid goddess bitch.’

[Fila] “Well Joseph you may now sleep, by the time you awake your new life will have started.”

‘Immediately after hearing the word ‘sleep’ my vision darkens and my conscience becomes hazy, goodbye Earth hello Floera the land of my goddess.’

POV: Fila

‘After containing the boys soul into a ball I bestowed my gift upon him before allowing Alena to do the same then turned to hand the ball to Irena.’

[Fila] “Here you are Irena; no doubt he will get a shock when he awakes to discover the Goddess of Life only governs plant life.”

[Irena] “Isn’t it cruel to place a human soul inside a plant?”

[Amaethon] “Nonsense if he plays his cards right he could become a world tree that rivals Yggdrasil.”

[Hades] “Or he gets eaten by rabbits.”

[Fila] “He’ll be fine, with my gift ‘status’ he will know what to do, still I’m surprised he didn’t realize he was talking through his thoughts so we heard everything including his inner monologue.”

‘At those words the two male gods broke into laughter while Irena turned red out of embarrassment and Alena red with anger, he sure didn’t like how she treated him, not surprising really.’

[Fila] “Anyway Alena, what gift did you bestow on your catalyst?”

[Alena] “Hah. I gave him a character growth bonus; with life as a plant it’s doubtful he can get any use from it since it was meant for his other body.”

(Deathly Silence)

[Alena] “Why did it get quiet all of a sudden, and what’s with you guys doing fish impressions?”

‘Dear me with his body the blessing and his gifts we gave him not to mention his current state of mind we might be observing the birth of a new shop of horrors, I just hope he doesn’t like musicals.’