《Summoning Shenanigans》Book 1 Epilogue

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“. . . immature, and insolent!” A dwarf was thundering at his two companions. One, a tall and willowy elf with golden hair. The other a smaller human woman with black, curly, shoulder length hair. At their change of expressions, his shoulders sunk. “And he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?”

We were in the temple I had only seen from the outside the last time I had visited the divine realm. Lokir had given me a bit of training, though the others didn’t quite know it. Had we come in from the outside, we would have seen the devastated landscape along with the scorched temple. Inside? Oh it didn’t show nearly the amount of destruction the outer portions did. There were a few cracks here and there, but the thing seemed fairly normal. Of course, there were still several empty thrones, but that was fine. Hearing a gasp from Elendria at the presence of the gods, I crafted a barrier from the abundant divine particles as swiftly as I could.

“Greetings mortals.” He said while turning. “Barrier?” He asked, shocked.

“Ariana. Shalora. Bruin. No Lokir?” I asked, keeping my tone even and ignoring his question. I did give them a bit of a head nod, but that was it. I was far more concerned with keeping the subtle shield that deflected the majority of their divine presence from overwhelming the others.

“See Ariana?” Bruin said, turning to her. “I remember a time when the mortals would as one kneel before the gods.”

“Was that before or after the gods needed mortals to fix their problems?” I asked snarkily.

“Why you….” He growled out, to be interrupted by the laughter of Shalora and her hand on his shoulder.

“Hehe, the hero’s got you there, Bruin.” She said. “Would you please stop antagonizing him and introduce yourself warrior?”

“Something’s not right.” Ariana said before I could reply. “You aren’t the one I was trying to summon.”

“Oh? Well, in that case why don’t you just send me back and I’ll merrily be on my way. No big deal.”

“It doesn’t work like that.” Bruin growled, glaring at me with his good eye. It was slightly unnerving, but I tried not to let it affect me. “We had to rebuild your body on the way here. If you returned to your world without mana, one of two things would happen. You would slowly and painfully die, or you would emit mana and slowly poison those around you. Besides, we don’t have a way to target your homeworld from here. Your entire family is protected from scrying.”

“Well those both suck. Luckily for you asshats, I have been thinking outside the box. Y’all replaced me with a soul clone. So do some divine, um, divinations, and find the soul that matches mine. Then you can swap bodies. The soul clone gets this one, and I get to go home.”

“Despite your continued insults, that is impossible.” Shalora said. “The soul clone is protected from scrying as well.”

“Fine, if that won’t work at least bring my family here. My wife and daughter.”

“We don’t have the spare power to summon another hero, let alone three.” Ariana said in a defeated voice. “How are we going to win without a warrior?”

“Hold up.” I growled, annoyed. “You always summon a warrior, right? And you have yet to win. What makes you think another warrior will be what you need?”

“Well, it’s tradition-“ Shalora started.

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“Fuck tradition! You are losing! Shadows have invaded Ariana’s church to the point where they actually have a faction following a false hero to attack the demons! Shalora’s ruling body has most likely been taken over by people possessed by shadow! And where in all of this are your people Bruin?” The gods stared at me, whether from my rant or the fact that nobody had talked to them in that way before. “Seriously, with the three of you in charge no wonder you are losing!”

“Look.” I said, softening my tone. “I’m sure there’s a lot of the battle I haven’t seen. I’ve been out in the wilds traveling between a handful of cities and learning basic magic. But you have allowed the enemy to infiltrate and weaken your foundation. That absolutely cannot stand!”

“Look, we don’t need advice from you! We need you to shut up and do as you’re told!” Bruin growled, and I stared at him for a second.

“Or what?”

“Huh?”

“Do as I’m told, or what?” I asked, staring at all three of them. “You all suck at this, and have no idea just how close you are to losing everything, do you? Look at yourselves! LOOK! You fucked up the summoning, and didn’t get the hero you wanted. You’ve let slip that you don’t have the power to summon another. And now, instead of doing everything in your power to convince me to help you, you tell me to shut my mouth and obey orders? Tell me, Bruin. What’s stopping me from refusing your orders and doing nothing to help. Or even worse, turning coat and helping the shadow destroy what’s left of this shitty divine realm? Or are you going to tell me that those impact craters outside go well with the bombarded from orbit look you are trying to cultivate with the scorched temple look?”

“What? How?” Ariana managed to stammer through her shock.

“Finally getting the thought in there? You’ve abducted me against my will, told me that I have basically no hope of seeing my family again, and treated me like I’m a petulant child. You have about five seconds to convince me to help, because I have no intention of pulling your asses out of the fire. As of right now? I’m gonna sit back with a pack of marshmallows and watch this bitch burn.”

The gods stared at each other for a second, having some sort of silent conversation. After a few moments, Shalora turned and spoke. “I do apologize. We have been in charge so long, we might have forgotten some of the necessities. Could we have your name, champion?”

“Sean.”

“Very well Sean. First, we have to apologize for how you were brought to this world. In our scrying, we always attempt to take someone with minimal connections to their world, and they are always offered a choice. We don’t know what went wrong, but we can try and figure out what happened and how to fix it.”

“Thank you Shalora. I’m still upset, but will accept your apology. If I might offer a hint, you should probably track down Lokir and ask him.”

“He was going to be our first check, but thank you.” Shalora nodded. “Now, we have been thinking. It is entirely impossible to send you back to your world. Even if we did the math to summon a new hero, and reversed it, things wouldn’t end well. Especially if something happened during the transfer. What we can do is this. Help us get rid of the shadow. Once that is done, we will have the spare power to bring over your wife and child.”

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“And how are you going to get around their being blocked from scrying?” I asked.

“There is one person who can see through the block. The last surviving priestess of Croea will have the power. She can help us.”

“Alright, but we need to do things my way then.” I said. “Your plans have obviously been foiled.”

“And what are your plans, champion?” Ariana asked.

“First, I will need to get stronger. That means learning more magic at the academy in Shineheart. I’ll also need to know how to improve my spirit pool, and how to use it in combat. I’m close to advancing my species, and will need to do that at some point as well.”

“That all?” Bruin asked.

“Now that you mention it, if you have any ideas on how to cleanse the church, we should probably start on that. Or at least on a way that I could use my spirit to expose people possessed by shadow, that would be great. Probably by using something like my solar sphere spell infused with spirit?”

“What is your pool at right now?” Ariana asked.

“Ten.”

“It’s far too small for spells, though unlocking it is the first hurdle. Go, train your magic at the academy during the day. You can max out your species at the dungeon, though it is only five levels so you won’t have the best upgrade options. As for spirit, training it is possible at the temple of Bruin.”

“Ariiii-“ He warned.

“Enough!” She growled. “Put your pride aside and pull your weight. I don’t care that he insulted you, he did it to get your attention. And it worked rather spectacularly. So have your priests train him, and don’t hold back. He is right on how high the stakes are, and I’ll not have you jeopardizing it.” Turning back to me, she continued, “The process is unfortunately slow, but when you reach fifty spirit you can start mixing it with mana for spells. Now, is there anything I can do to help your friends?”

I turned to look at everyone, and they were still too affected by the area to reply. “For now, let’s just get them covered to remain in the city. If they have any other requests, we can send a prayer through Bruin’s church.”

“Very well. Thank you for helping us Sean, though we don’t seem to deserve it.”

“Just hold your end of the bargain, and we will be fine.” I said. With a wave of Ariana’s hand, the barrier I had created disappeared and we returned to our sleeping bodies.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Valorian’s POV

It was late at night, but I still had far too much to do before I could think of sleeping. We had marched to the Strait of Demarius, and camped just outside of Portstown. While not quite as enthusiastic as Three Rivers, we still saw a steady trickle of new recruits. What was more important was our deception.

“How are things looking Sten?” I asked my second in command.

“Progressing nicely my Lord.” He said. “The shipyards are slow, but they do show some progress for the spies. We suspect within a week we will start seeing the first acts of sabotage.”

“So long?” I asked.

“Indeed. That should be when the first of the keels are finished. Setting fire to them then will set us back far longer than before they get waterproofed.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded, sitting back and massaging the bridge of my nose.

“My Lord, are you alright?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

“I’ll be fine.” I answered. “It’s just. Let’s get the infiltrators ready first.”

“Of course, my Lord.” He said with a bow, then left the tent. Far too soon he returned with several men in tow. I used the term men loosely, as these shadows had terrible control over their vessels. That was fine, speed was their primary concern. And these shadows could push their vessels far beyond normal limits.

“Are you all prepared? You know your primary mission?” I asked.

“Yes, my Lord.” Their apparent leader replied with a bow. “Each has supplies for a week. We are to avoid confrontation at all cost, spreading out as much as possible. When we find secluded spots of high mana, we plant the collector and move on.”

“And in the case of imminent capture?” I prodded. This was the most important part.

“Immolation of vessel, ensuring the destruction of the collectors.”

“Excellent. All is ready then. I will open the portal to the woods outside the demon city. Hurry through, and immediately scatter. There is a low chance of discovery, but I would rather not risk it while everyone is together. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” They chorused, and I nodded. Focusing, I created a portal the size of a normal door, and the infiltrators sped through in an orderly line. As soon as the last one was through, I dropped the spell. Luckily it had only taken about thirty seconds. Even if someone detected the spell, that was far too little time to get a lock on its location.

“And that’s that.” I said glumly, dropping into my chair. Despite the brevity, that single spell had taken nearly half of my mana reserves.

“Sir?” Sten asked in concern.

“Just having second thoughts.” I said, waving away his concern. “I know the collectors are supposed to slow the mana drain on our world, but I just have to say I have my doubts about all this.”

“Seriously? Even though the worst projections say we only have a hundred and fifty years?” Sten asked with a grin. “You, sir, are a pessimist.”

“That may be, but think of it this way. Do any of those projections take into account the mana needed to create a Greater Shadow? Not to mention how much it will take to send it through the portal?” Sten paled at my question. Yeah, he was starting to see it.

“Even so, the collectors will still help ease the strain.” He said.

“That may be so.” I said. “I don’t know. Something is still making me have some doubts.”

“Relax. Lord Apophis wouldn’t lead his own summoned hero astray, would he?” Sten asked.

“I suppose not.” I said with a sigh. “Just. Look at this world. How can we be sure they are the ones stealing our mana? Have you seen anything that could possibly be the cause?”

“No, but do you honestly think they would have something like that on display?” Sten countered. I had to admit, he had a point.

“True. If they do have something, it must be hidden well. The people here are entirely too happy. And the higher up humans do enjoy keeping secrets.” I waffled a bit. “Bah. I guess we have no choice but to move forward.”

“That’s the spirit! Before I go to bed, do you have any other soul searching doubts I can lay to rest for you?” He asked with a grin. “No? Offer going once, going twice.”

“Get out of here.” I chuckled. “I’m off to bed soon myself. May Apophis’ shadow hide the infiltrators as they perform their mission.”

“Amen.” Sten agreed, before leaving me alone. With a sigh, I looked over everything again. A hero should be heading out, taking the fight to the enemy. Not wallowing here to keep up a deception that he didn’t even know succeeded. And the probable loss of life when we finally tried to ‘invade.’ Sleep was a long time coming.

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