《Old Version of Trials of Sanity (Dropped for a complete rewrite)》12 - The Wordsmith
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“Are you better now, dear?” Mrs Aya’s calming voice helped me flush away the last bit of emotional turbulence I felt.
“Yeah. I’m better now, Mrs Aya. I’m sorry for my rude behavior. I caused you more grief.” I was totally ashamed of myself. I don't know what had taken over me but, before I knew it I was hugging Mrs Aya while she cradled the still warm corpse of her husband. What was I thinking? I clearly wasn’t, at all.
“Kando isn’t alive anymore. I… I have accepted this now. Your sadness helped me see the feelings that I didn’t want to accept.” Mrs Aya spoke with an expression I didn’t expect to see on her face. It wasn’t sorrow or grief, it was resignation. Almost like defeat. She had not cried or spoken about Mr Kando during the time I was on her shoulder, bawling my eyes. I couldn’t figure out what was going on inside her head, no matter how hard I tried to read her. Being honest, I couldn’t understand myself, how could I expect to understand her?
“How can I help you, Mrs Aya?” Not knowing how to handle myself in such a situation, I could only hope what I said wasn’t too stupid.
“Help me handle Kando’s body, dear Leo. We can’t leave him like this, it will bring bad karma for my Kando. Now we can’t have that, right?” Mrs Aya spoke as if she was preparing her husband for a business trip. She removed her cotton coat and folded it neatly beside her, trying to conceal the visible bloodstains. Carefully moving Kando’s head from her lap, she placed it on the impromptu pillow.
“Actually, dear, do you mind grabbing my bag? I must have left it where I was sitting before.” Mrs Aya said as she gently moved Mr Kando’s arms and legs into a more dignified position.
I retrieved my sledgehammer and quietly moved away from Mrs Aya towards Johann’s group. I knew how her bag looked, but I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to find it in this mess. I stood up and my injured leg throbbed. At some point it had started aching, but it wasn’t so bad. I had expected it to be worse.
As I approached the group, I saw that Johann’s treatment was done and he had a bandage going around his upper arm and covering most of his shoulders. He moved around speaking with people and helping the wounded and frightened. I saw the pregnant lady sitting down in the middle of the buzz of people. Aside from her grim expression, she looked otherwise fine.
As I moved around, I started catching fragments of their conversations. From what I understood, some of the people who went outside to fight had retreated as soon as the engagement had started, which left the people who stayed behind hard pressed to hold the advancing mob of goblins. Johann was gravely wounded soon after and John had forced him to retreat and organize a second line of defense inside the auditorium. John and the people who stayed behind couldn’t hold the line for long and were forced to hastily retreat to the narrower hallways that led to the auditorium. During their uncoordinated retreat, John had stayed last and, like a true hero, held the rear. I only managed to save myself, but he probably saved many of the people here.
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It was hard to get a clear picture of what happened next, since the commentaries were not consistent. Either John’s retreat didn’t end where they were supposed to and people just kept running inside the auditorium, or they were eventually hard pressed to retreat inside this hall. The consistent account was that Johann couldn’t rally the people who had retreated to mount any sort of defense, despite his bleeding efforts. John and his group could only hold the main entrance at the front, so hell broke loose when the goblins started pouring through the side doors. People formed pockets and tried to fight however they could, but there was no organization at all. The creatures flung themselves at whoever was closest or easier to reach. The result was clear for anyone to see.
It took me a considerable amount of time to listen and piece together all the commentaries and the loud voices that shouted in heated arguments, but I wasn’t in a hurry to go back. I was taking my time finding Mrs Aya’s bag because I knew she needed time alone. Probably more time than she would find in here at the moment.
I could see that Johann was trying to get people’s nerves in check, but it was proving difficult. A few brawls had even broken out between the people who had fought and the ones who had run. Johann had broken them apart by arguing that there would be consequences, but people shouldn’t take matters into their own hands like this.
John was not where I had seen him earlier, talking to the burly men who had been posted inside to guard their supplies. Now, I couldn’t see him anymore, he must have left. He was a hard man to miss.
I finally found Mrs Aya’s bag some distance away from the group’s area, thrown in a random spot on the floor. I grabbed it and started making my way back to where she was. I wasn’t sure how much time was enough, but it had been a while by now.
Walking back I realized that the blue mist was gone and with it the goblin’s corpses. Somehow that didn’t shock me. When I first saw what was happening with them I suspected something like this would happen. After my early outpouring, I felt much more calm with everything that was happening. I also wanted to explore the system and the implications of some of its messages. I had yet to explore what levelling up meant or entailed. Based on my gaming experience, I had a few ideas, but I could do that later. For now I was focused on helping Mrs Aya.
Mrs Aya was formally kneeling beside Mr Kando’s bluish colored face. He was probably starting to get stiff by now. I wasn’t familiar with how long it took for a body to stiffen, but it just seemed like that was happening. She appeared to be saying something as her lips moved discreetly. Her face was unmoved as I approached, but she must have realized I was getting close since her mouth stopped moving. I sat down beside Mrs Aya.
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“Mrs Aya, I found your bag.” I passed the bag to her, which she gently placed on the opposite side of herself, away from me. Mr Kando’s skin tone was chilling. I could feel the weight of death as I saw his face. I turned away and stared at my clenching fists. Mrs Aya seemed to be performing some sort of cleaning procedure as she grabbed wet wipes from her bag and gently moved her hands. I didn’t want to look at it, so I wasn’t sure what she was doing.
I don’t know for how long I sat there staring at my own hands. My mind raced and random thoughts came and went faster than I could process them. Useless things, mostly, but some grim stuff would inevitably surface once in a while. Mrs Aya’s voice brought me back from my introspective torpor.
“I have done all I can for my Kando. Will you get Mr Johann, dear? I need to speak with him.” Mrs Aya’s voice carried no distinct emotions. She was sweet in her words, but her tone was almost business like.
I quietly acknowledged her request, and back I went towards Johann’s group. My leg complained, but I duly ignored it. It didn’t take me long to find him. He seemed engrossed in dissuading some altercation between a group of people and Mr Krazinsky. The pot bellied rude man screamed at the top of his lungs, an accusing finger pointed at the dejected group in front of him. I suspected the people on the receiving end of his verbal onslaught were the ones to run from the fight. Their lack of wounds and seemingly able bodied shapes were enough for me to feel confident in my assumption.
“Calm down, Igor. We will decide the consequences as a group. You can’t just be the jury, judge and executioner. This is only going to make things worse.” Johann pleaded the red faced Igor as he furiously pointed at the quiet group of pariahs. Igor had since gotten a jacket and proper denim pants. No longer sporting his casual stay-at-home clothes.
“This is bullshit, Johann! There is nothing to discuss. We need to send this scum packing, right away. They should feel lucky that John hasn’t decided to lay his special education on them. Maybe he will, who knows what goes on in the head of that bear? I hope he breaks each and every one of you in half! Fucking maggots! You are the worst, you hear me? The fucking worse pieces of shit I…” Igor’s rage seemed endless. I suspected that there was more behind what he was saying than was clear on the surface. I did my best to tune out of his diatribe as I approached Johann.
“Mr Johann, I need your help with something. Actually, Mrs Aya and I need your help. She asked me to fetch you.” I spoke in a low voice so that only Johann could hear me. But I was sure, even if I had been louder, Igor wouldn’t hear anyone but himself.
“Right, right. Let me go with you. I can’t handle this shit here anymore.” Johann’s annoyed expression was genuine, though I was surprised that he only looked mildly irritated.
“Is it okay to leave them like this? Mr Krazinsky seems about to start a fight with them.” I asked, concerned that another brawl would breakout. I wasn’t exactly concerned about either part, but things like these always took the general mood a notch down.
“Mr Krazinsky? Oh, you mean Igor? Don’t worry, he is all bark and no bite. He is just lashing out at these guys because he sees himself in them. I think if John had not punched him yesterday and instilled God's fear in the man he would have been among those who ran when the fight started.” Johann had seen right through Igor. I suspected something was odd with the disproportion of the man’s reaction, but Johann got it figured out in no time.
I nodded in agreement, but didn’t speak any further. Johann didn’t let the silence linger and kept our conversation going.
“I suspect you didn’t know Shimizo Aya before all this, but you seem very attached to her. May I ask why?” Johann’s seemingly innocent question caught me unprepared. The guy went straight to the point, no beating around the bush.
“I can’t tell you exactly why. It’s just that she was the first person I had contact with. I think at some point in these last twenty four hours I kinda clung on her as some sort of haven for normality. It’s hard to explain…” I trailed off. I don’t know why I was being so honest with someone I had just met and had decided to avoid until last night. I guess I was slowly realizing that my concerns were unfounded. These people were proving surprisingly efficient, despite the outcome of this battle. Considering this entire surreal situation, the result could’ve been worse, considerably so.
“Feelings aren’t easy. This entire situation can drive anyone to the edge, and it's good that you found someone to keep you balanced. Give yourself time to adjust to this new environment. We all need to do that.” Johann's attitude was extremely reassuring. I don't know where all that confidence came from, but just being around the guy made me feel more comfortable with everything that was happening.
“You should stick around, Leo. I don’t know why you were avoiding us at first, but I am sure you had your reasons. Give us a chance, will you? We need to help ourselves in times like this. Strength in numbers, right?” Johann finished with a light pat on my back and a smile. If I was still on the fence about joining them or not, his words were the final push I needed to jump over to their side.
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