I completed my goal of helping the orphans I’d accidentally crippled in the horrifying accident. Then ended up picking up another goal to go and kill a Gangster that was terrorising the orphanage with ‘protection fees’.

I once suffered some horrible experiences when I was young, and some of the worst were at the orphanage. With a great deal of effort, I’d managed to mostly forget those experiences. Having stood there and witnessed that poor little orphan girl being threatened, all those memories came flooding back.

Now, because they were once again fresh in my mind, the rage boiling in my heart had completely overwhelmed my Hurts So Good. Although I was pretty sure it was still operating, nothing could quell my wrath this time.

I couldn’t stand to see someone suffer that treatment again. No matter what, I had to protect those orphans!

After a cursory inspection of my status and inventory, I left to the east side of the city.

Buried amongst rows of cramped fancy houses all 3 or 4 stories high was a villa that took up an entire block all by itself. When I arrived, the villa seemed to be in the midst of a party. It was close to midnight in Game Time. Retrospectively, out in the real world, it was most likely about 11 PM.

By now I’d stacked up nearly 74 hours of game time.

I quietly inspected my mood and found that the curse I put on myself was already drastically affecting my judgement. The reason I knew this was because despite me feeling a little irrational for trying to break into the gangster gang house, I irrationally didn’t care and decided it would be fine to leave the curse running for a bit longer till this job was done.

Now that I’d determined I was most definitely out of my right mind, I put some specific potions onto my potions belt and put on my Poison Assassin’s Hat of Concealment. I started trying to be as sneaky as possible as I quickly approached the villa. Once I was close enough, I snuck a look through a nearby window.

Seeing the party in full swing, I was half tempted to just throw some poison fog potions through the window and run. But I didn’t know who Taritz was, or if he was even in the crowded dining hall of the villa.

Unfortunately, I was too irritable at the time and didn’t pay any attention to the goon’s story. If he described Taritz, I couldn’t remember it. After circling around the villa a few times to assess the place, I chose an unguarded rear door. It was, of course ... locked.

I was so tempted to just bust it down anyway and charge in throwing poison and swinging my sword around.

So, with my irrationality and irritability now having reached the point that even my Hurts So Good can’t hold it back, I decided to do exactly that.

I took out a little exploding powder and then dusted it onto the door. Then with as much force as I could muster, I kicked it. The sudden pressure from my kick caused the somewhat violent powder to do justice to its namesake and explode.

The door blew wide open while at the same time I was shot back like being hit by a car. I rolled along the ground a few times and spryly jumped back up. I then ran in swinging my sword and preparing to throw potions everywhere only to realise the locked door that was left unguarded was some kind of storage shed with gardening implements.

There was no way into the mansion through here.

With the advent of my explosive entrance to the gardeners shed, the whole villa suddenly lit up with flaming torches as gangsters started rushing around everywhere thinking they were under attack.

As I was preparing to leave the garden shed and try another door, one of the cabinets along the wall suddenly slid open. A man in exquisite looking clothes rushed out as if he was trying to escape for his life.

His fat body jiggled every which way, and his rushing was more akin to brisk waddling. Unlucky for him, he rushed straight into me. Seeing as I was discovered, I decided to just kill the fellow and make use of his secret escape route.

‘Swish.’

My sword made a graceful arc through the air, and then the fat man’s head made a less graceful arc through the air, followed by his blood making a disgusting arc ... everywhere.

By habit, as everyone does in a game, I looted the corpse of anything interesting then raced up the stairs of the secret escape route. At this point, my irrationality was stacking faster and faster, and I decided hunting down that Taritz fellow was going to be too much trouble, so I’d just kill everyone in the villa.

When I reached the other end of the tunnel, I found myself in a lavish library filled with books of all different sorts. Without reservation, I looted it of everything.

I then started passing through the villa room by room while throwing Poison Fog Potions everywhere and looting everything of value. Hell, I even stole the kitchenware and the fancy jade plates.

By the time I’d walked out of the front door of the villa, every step I took caused my bones to ache and left a big imprint of my foot behind. Even with the Boots of Burden, which halved my inventory weight, the weight of everything I reappropriated from the gangsters was just too much.

Unlike the stealthy quick getaway I’d been imagining when I decided to come here, my every step was a loud thud, and they were spaced apart by many seconds. It took almost an hour just to walked all the way back to the slums. Of course, I chose the route carefully so as to avoid leaving a trail of footprints leading the guards to me later.

At last, I arrived at my burnt down cottage. Seeing some nearby shanties, huts and cottages that were still smouldering, I couldn’t stop a wry smile from forming.

After removing my backpack and dropping it to the ground, I expected a loud thud only for it to drop to the ground as if it was light a feather. Creating further confusion, I still felt the weight of my inventory pressing down on me.

The weight of the inventory didn’t simply make my back feel heavy as if I was holding a huge backpack. It was a fully invasive and pervasive force. It was easier to consider the weight from the inventory as some kind of personal gravity field that increased the gravity of my body.

This indicated two major things I’d neglected to consider. The first was, if the Games System’s inventory weight still weighed down on me, then that could only mean my initial assumption in the beginning, was wrong ... my backpack had nothing to do at all with my inventory at all.

The second thing was that the inventory weight was affecting every single fibre of my being. Even parts of me that normally wouldn’t be affected by poisons was being influenced by the brutal pressure of my inventory weight. It also explained why my agility and strength were slowly growing despite me not making any effort to actively increase those stats.

The first thing I did after these two neglects had been realised, was to palm myself in the face. If I’d known earlier how useful the inventory weight would be for training my body, I would have just walked around picking up everything I could find. Hell, I would have even started stashing trees and rocks in there.

The other thing I did was to find out what the fuck was in the backpack.

Upon opening it, I wanted to slap the shit out of past Murphy for being an idiot. Inside the bag were two books, rations enough for at least two days in this world, and a polished Jade rock in the shape of a little triangle.

Of the two books, one was an introduction to magic, teaching you how to best utilise mana. The other was an introduction to the Status Place and basic guidelines on some of its functions. The most interesting thing in the bag was the Jade.

The moment I touched it, I felt the same sensation I did when I gathered mana in my finger. A moment later, my mana shot into the Jade. The Jade then disappeared into my Status Place and had the title ‘Class Booster’ written on it.

Presumably, this Jade was the method people used to set a class.

Even though I’d just discovered a whole bunch of things I desperately needed before now. My curse was building to a furious level, and I was pretty sure if I didn’t deactivate it soon I might just lose the rationality to do so at all.

So, I finally focused my mind on doing the imagining technique of mana in the body. I perceived it as a wispy smoky gas that filled my body.

Interestingly, without my own initiative to imagine it, some of my mana had formed into the picture of a little devil. The diagram was simple and crude, and it also stank of sinister Mana. However, seeing this made me a little excited.

The fact that something like that popped up without any effort on my part meant that I wasn’t just imagining my mana, but actually viewing it in my mind.

My excitement quickly dulled when I realised that the little devil diagram wasn’t alone. While I was viewing it, it pulsed with light and sucked in a whole bunch of mana. The next moment, another devil, this time huge, appeared inside my body and suddenly grew a little bit bigger. It then quickly became invisible again.

I could only speculate that the huge devil was most likely the curse effect, and the little devil was the part that stayed with me to channel mana into the curse every hour.

Having determined that, I quickly ‘willed’ the little devil to explode. In my mind’s eye, I watched on as the little devil slowly dissolved back into normal mana. At the same time, the big devil suddenly appeared again, seemed to make a silent roaring action as if telling me it’s indignation, then dissipated as well.

The moment the big devil disappeared, I felt fatigue smash into me like a bus. It wasn’t just sudden tiredness, but an instant coma. I hadn’t even realised what had happened until I woke up nearly 16 hours later, still lying in the middle of my burnt down cottage.

When Murphy finally awoke from his very long slumber, he felt remarkably refreshed. He slowly crawled up from the ground and patted all the soot and charcoal off his clothes.

He then noticed that his body had compressed the dirt in the area when he was rolling around in his sleep.

The magnitude of weight his body was capable of surviving under was completely unreasonable, and as he slept it had slowly compacted the ground to the point there was a clear outline of his body almost half a foot deep on the ground.

After stretching himself for a little bit and enjoying the pleasure of what should have presumably been sore muscles, Murphy was finally ready for a brand new day.

He quickly came to realise that his inventory felt slightly less heavy this morning than it had the night before. After checking his stats, he was shocked to find that his average strength stat had gained almost 4 points just from his sleeping under the extreme pressure of the inventory system.

Not only that, all of his average physical stats had gone up a few points. Strength was now just over 7 and agility had climbed above 5. Even his pain mastery gained some experience.

As Murphy considered the outcome, he decided that from now on when he went to sleep, he would stack so much shit in his inventory that it was almost crushing him to death. This way his body could get stronger without him even needing to do a thing.

It was then time for some breakfast, which he luckily had on hand now that he knew his backpack had rations in it. Finally, he investigated the books and Jade triangle he’d found. Just as he was opening the book on magic, a few system prompts he’d been expecting rushed in.

‘Ping! Poison Assassin has cleaned out a den of gangsters in Gateway City. +30 Renown.’

‘Ping! Taritz has died. Return to the Orphanage to receive a reward.’

Murphy immersed himself into studying the basic game guides he’d found in his backpack. He decided to start with the Introduction to Magic because that was the one that was most interesting to him.

Most of it was things he’d speculated or that had been jammed into his head by the memory implant that flashed when he first got the spell tome.

Mana is the source of all magic. It is endless and comes from the void. The more it’s used, the faster it replenishes. While reading, Murphy also discovered a few tips for increasing his mana. The first, and most obvious, was to use spells continuously. The more he cast spells, the more he would interact with his mana.

It meant that the Max Mana and Mana Regen both accrued experience similar to skills and other stats. After some more reading, he determined that he didn’t even have to use spells. If he focused enough, he could manipulate the mana in his body to simply discharge.

If he learned to control it properly, he could even form it into different forms of energy and give it different properties. He’d already experienced the sinister energy of sinister magic arts, so he had a fair idea how it worked.

Contrary to how simple the explanation was though, it was incredibly difficult to control his mana without some form of medium, such as a spellbook or another item.

That said, he discovered that he could imbue things with his mana while he held it, such as his sword, giving it a boost in its attributes.

With some more reading, he also learned that the strange pattern and the words that appeared on the page when he was casting the curse spell, where in fact two other forms of casting.

One was referred to as a Spell Pattern. If a person managed to reach a certain level of control and had the ability to memorise the pattern, they could create the pattern with mana and that would cast the spell as well, without the need to even touch the spell tome at all.

The other method was the strange, incomprehensible words that appeared on the page when he cast the spell. Normally it took a while to learn these words, and it was generally required to go to some kind of magic academy.

That said, if you could learn them, then you could recite the words instead of building the pattern, and that would fire the spell as well.

The difference between the three methods was varying depending on the needs. For example, if you were casting with the tome, you first had to touch the tome and then point at the target. This was somewhat cumbersome in battle and could even be life-threatening. However, it didn’t require you to learn a bunch of strange words or memorise a complex pattern.

The spell pattern was the fastest method and significantly more powerful than the tome. However, it required a person’s mental acuity to be phenomenal because memorising the pattern was incredibly difficult. Adding to that, during battle it required a person to focus long enough to rebuild the pattern in their head so they could cast.

If they were quick, then they could cast quickly. If they were slow, then they would most likely get chopped in half with a sword while they were focused on their inner mind.

The chanting method required a person to learn a very ancient and complex language, and even sometimes a few different languages depending on the spell. It took time to recite a few verses and fire a spell and the pronunciation and remembering the lines was also no picnic.

However, it was more powerful than a spell pattern and the tome and it was possible to recite while still in the midst of battle, requiring a little less focus than recreating a complex pattern in your head and not needing a book in your hand.

The most powerful method of casting actually wasn’t any of these three methods though. It was the use of a Spell Model. Which was essentially the combination of all three together.

When casting a full Spell Model, the person uses the book as a medium to boost their power, they create the pattern in their mind and use it to help focus the mana on the book’s pattern, and then they chant the spell while channelling mana into the book.

If a person casts a spell model instead of just a spell, there’s a good chance a great catastrophe is about to come. The power of casting with a spell model doesn’t just increase the potency of the spell by a single magnitude. Rather it increases it by multiple.

If Murphy were to learn how to cast the Spell Model for his Ain’t No Rest curse, there’s a good chance it would most likely immediately send the target mad and would quite probably become a permanent curse instead of just a little channelling curse as it was now.

It wasn’t unusual for spells to create rather dramatic effects when they’re cast as a Spell Model.

Murphy wasn’t interested in learning strange languages and casting magic though. He was more interested in another use of mana. Which was termed as imbuing.

This form of mana manipulation was more along the lines of direct combat and focused on pouring mana into an object to make it stronger. If you altered the attributes and properly controlled the mana, then it wasn’t impossible to make a sword that can cut through the heavens or armour that could protect you in the heart of a star.

Later on, you could even use it for enchantments which imbued an object and even his potions with permanent status effects.

Unfortunately, this required the use of spell patterns and ancient language, so he decided not to pursue it for now, although he was definitely interested in it.

After he had read through the Introduction to Magic, he moved onto the next book, which was the Introduction to the Status Place.

Many of his earlier theories about how certain stats influenced the growth of certain skill was discussed in the book. It even went over certain functions of the Status Space that even Murphy wasn’t aware of.

He also learnt that the Stats and Skills usually encompassed the three parts of the ‘Self’. The Body, Mind and Soul. Whereas other things, such as spells and alchemy were a reflection of the ‘Self’ influencing the three parts of the ‘Universe’. Matter, Energy and Space-Time.

For example, ‘strength, wisdom and introspection’ reflected the three parts of Self, ‘mind, body and soul’ respectively.

Mana Manipulation is the skill of manipulating a certain aspect of the universe, namely ‘energy’, to achieve a goal.

Alchemy would be the same, except influencing ‘matter’.

Space-time was a whole other kettle of fish though, and Murphy couldn’t even pretend to understand anything about it.

The book went on to describe how stats generated and other helpful information. Something interesting he did learn was that the Game System made experience gained with skills permanent. Even if he never used alchemy again, he would always retain the skills and knowledge he had regarding it.

Not only that, it was apparently incredibly difficult for a stat to drop back a level. For the stats related to his body condition, such as strength and agility, he would have to literally sit in place for a year and not move at all for these stats to lose even a single level.

This was disturbing for Murphy, because 2 of his stats, wisdom and charisma, seemed to rise and fall like a yo-yo. If what the book said was true, they should only slowly continue to rise unless he didn’t use them.

He only realised when he read a later note, that doing very negative actions with regards to a stat would drop it more quickly.

For Murphy, this was only in regards to stats to do with the mind and soul. Thanks to his traits and his inhuman regen speed, all damage, even if it disintegrated his body, would only be helping him get stronger.

Perhaps the only thing that had been increasing his mind stats was the mental fortitude that seemed to be skyrocketing lately thanks to ‘Please Sir’.

The most ambiguous Stats were the soul related stats. The guide didn’t go into them too much and simply said that they were generated based on a person’s personality and life experiences.

At last, Murphy had finished his basic introduction to Status and Magic. The last thing on his agenda was to investigate the Jade triangle in his Status Space.

With a thought, he appeared in his space. For a long time, he stared at the Jade Triangle. Clearly feeling some trepidation towards touching it. He didn’t want it to be like the insignia and be auto generated.

Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he was being a little too cowardly.

Even if it did auto generate a class for him, from what Seelie told him it would only be boosting growth in certain stats. Worst case scenario his class would boost weird things like sinister arts and pain mastery.

Firming his resolve, Murphy reached out and touched the floating Jade Triangle.

‘Ping! Would you like to start building a class?’

‘Ping! Would you like to auto-generate a class?’

Murphy answered with a ‘yes?’. The moment he did, he hated himself, the world and everything in existence.

‘Why the hell did it ask me two questions in a row? It was clearly a trap! It’s a fucking trap!’

In truth the only person who duped Murphy in this situation was himself. If he had a tiny bit more social skill, he’d have been able to recognise that this was two questions that required him to verify what he was saying yes to.

If he’d said something along the lines of ‘I want to start building a class’, then he most likely would have had the opportunity to build his own class.

Unfortunately, he’s an idiot when it comes to proper social decorum and simply answered the first question. Giving Murphy more than one social cue at a time is too hard for him to wrap his head around.

As such, the Class Booster lit up the Status Space with a green light and then disappeared.

‘Ping! Generating Class based on skills, life experience and status.’

‘Ping! Murphy’s Law has caused an accident. -1 Luck.’

‘Ping! Altering Class structure based on titles and special traits.’

‘Ping! Murphy’s Law has caused an accident. -1 Luck.’

‘Ping! Assigning stat, skill and title bonuses.’

‘Ping! Murphy’s Law has caused an accident. -1 Luck.’

‘Ping! Class assignments complete. Congratulations for generating the ‘Sinister Undying’ class.’

The fucking what class? Sinister Undying? What the fuck kind of class is that. And what were all those prompts from the system? Murphy’s Law?

Fuck that fucking traitorous special trait. I thought I was in positive luck. Murphy’s Law should have caused a happy accident ... don’t tell me that my lucky charms don’t work in the status space?

Even if you didn’t tell me I’d refuse to hear it! I don’t want to hear it! It’s nonsense! Sage Damnit!

“Whew...”

Ok, calm down. There we go, nice and calm, Hurts So Good has caught up with my emotions. Nice and calm again.

Ok, let’s turn nice and slow and check the status screens. Keep calm. Keep calm. Nothing to worry about.

Sinister Undying

This is the class trait auto-generated by the system. It is a reflection of your stats, skills, traits, titles and life experience ... some accidents happened to the system while calculating.

Your grotesque level of regeneration and your perverse enjoyment of pain has helped you to develop the ability to survive in almost any situation. Adding to your unnatural levels of endurance has made you almost impossible to kill.

*All body stats get x2 growth rate.

*Aging is permanently halted.

Your predilection for disturbing and sinister skills and titles as well as your immortal lifespan has brought you closer to others with immortal souls and similarly questionable integrity, the Demon Race.

*Summoning Magic gains x2 growth rate.

*Demons summoned by you are incredibly loyal and consider you to be a Hero of the Evil Races.

*Grants the Innate spell Summon: Demon Spawn.

Your endless interaction with poison and your profound mastery and use of it to create your Undying body has given you unique insight into the uses and effects of poison.

*Poison related skills gain x2 growth.

*5% chance of poisoning anyone you touch.

*Poison can never kill you.

*Your blood has become poisonous.

Although you are Undying and have profound skills in doing evil, your luck has, and will always be, abysmal. Fortunately, you have been able to offload it most of the time. Unfortunately, it seems to just rub off onto everything you touch.

*When luck is negative. Luck is doubled.

*When luck is positive. Luck is halved.

*1% chance for Misery Loves Company to auto-activate on things you touch.

*Misery Loves Company can be activated 4 times a day.

What the actual fuck? At first glance, it was all, yay! I’m immortal! But now it’s all ... oh ... I’m the hero of the evil races, everyone I touch has a 1 in 20 chance of being poisoned, and my all of my equipment is going to get cursed with bad luck.

‘Ping! A new skill has reached level 1. Summoning Magic.’

‘Ping! You have developed an Innate Spell. Summon: Demon Spawn.’

Fucking demons! Fuck! Fuck the demons! I don’t want any fucking demons! Sage damn it!

Whew. Calm. Calm and controlled. Centre yourself first. Ok. Nice and calm. Sigh ... Well, if nothing else, my class is quite powerful. Even the demons might be useful. Although a demon is probably quite violent and foul, if I have complete control over them perhaps they can achieve some good.

And who said a demon can’t be a good guy? What’s this about good and evil races? The only thing that is evil is people’s intentions. I’m going to train my demons up to have hearts as big as the Great Sage himself!

Ok, let’s take a look at the spell.

Summon: Demon Spawn

Summons a loyal Demon Spawn from the depths of the Hell Plane. Requires a fresh corpse as the medium.

The Demon Spawn will grow over time and slowly level while feeding on the corpses of your enemies. The longer it survives, the more powerful it becomes.

*Each kill by the demon spawn grants the caster 3/4 of the experience.

*Maximum 3 Summons.

*Cost: 1 Mana per summon.

Ai ... so it’s like that. I need a fresh corpse to summon them. That in itself sounds bad. They also grow by feeding on the corpses of my enemies? Well ... surely that’s not as grotesques as it sounds ... right?

Whew. Well ... let’s take a look and see what goodies I scrapped up from the gangster’s villa.

Most of these books are rubbish. The History of Ancient Religions by Master Gilligan? The Rise of the Most Heinous Demon Lord? Aren’t these all just fairy tales?

Oh, there’s a scroll. Scroll of Sudden Amnesia ... well, it’ll probably be useful eventually.

Let’s see, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish ... Ah! Pendant of Curse Suppression. Reduces all curse affects based on Mental Fortitude ... JACKPOT!

Haha! Eat it Murphy’s Law! Even I can’t be unlucky all the...

‘Ping! Misery Loves Company has auto-activated. Pendant of Curse Suppression, -21 Luck.’

“Damnit! You piece of shit! You horrid bastard!” Fuck! That bloody class is too brutal! Too overbearing! I can’t stand it!

Oh? Wait a moment ... I only have enough trinkets on to get me into positive one luck. Then after the accident with the system, I was back to -3. So I only had -17 bad luck in total.

Does that mean ... I can give away bad luck I don’t even have ... what’s my luck stat now I wonder?

8 Luck! If it’s half ... then that means I have almost 16 luck. Minus the plus 12 from my items ... so I gained 4 Luck by putting more bad luck into the pendant? I guess that makes sense. Even if I’m on a lucky streak, it’s not like I can’t have bad luck. I guess it’s like making an extra payment on a loan...

Hmm ... it’s a damn shame. Fucking half luck. It’s too cruel! To abominable!

Whew ... well, I can’t afford to wallow in my self-pity. I’m going to have to just forge ahead and hope I can build up enough good luck to keep me in the positive, even if it means I have to work twice as hard.

Ok, let’s see. What else have they got? Crappy swords ... Crappy armour ... oh ... some clothes...

Hmm ... is that a skill book? Let’s have a look then...

Mana Cartography.

The ability to accurately draw maps using your Mana.

Prerequisite skills required: Mana Manipulation, Design, Memorisation.

Well, I’ll be damned. Sure, let’s learn it. Can’t have too many skills.

GAH! The light! It’s that fucking light again! Peh, Peh. Why does it always make me foam at the mouth? With the level of magic and stuff in this game, surely they could have designed this ‘memory implant’ thing a little better.

Hmm ... this is the first skill I’ve gotten that had prerequisites. Ok ... focus your mind. Try and focus on the information you just got for the skill.

Oh? Interesting.

The Mana Cartography Skill was quite interesting. Although it didn’t have any direct use like a spell or something, it was nonetheless a very powerful skill.

First, it created a globe in my status space. The globe was flat white and bare. However, if I was so inclined, and provided I remembered the details with some level certainty, I could slowly build a 3D map on the surface of the globe.

If I explored the whole planet, then I could fill the whole globe. All it required was a little bit of mana, and then next thing you know, everywhere I’d travelled was created on the globe.

Based on the size of the globe, I could tell that this planet was actually tiny. So small in fact it was probably closer to being a moon. It would at most take me a few weeks to explore the entire thing.

I also discovered that depending on the level of detail in my memory, I could control the detail of the map. If I was so inclined, I could zoom all the way down to inspect a grain of sand. Unfortunately, neither my memory nor my patience was good enough to record a map in that much detail.

Still, the map had other useful features. For example, even though my view was spinning wildly at the time, I was able to catch a few glimpses of the ground in my travels through the sky after the dragon accident.

Thanks to that, my map was able to be filled with a somewhat fuzzy depiction of major landmarks, roads and other interesting things around the city.

Inversely to the level of awesomeness this skill had, was my level of interest in it. Although it was a cool toy, I didn’t feel like the map was really all that useful at all.

After playing with it for a while longer, I finally pulled my thumb out and moved back into the city. Apart from the skill that was useless, the pendant that was ruined and the scroll I almost forgot I even had, the only other thing of interest were some nice clothes.

Unfortunately, I quickly discovered a problem as I was getting changed. Apparently, the ‘anyone’ in ‘5% chance of poisoning anyone you touch’, included me.

Thanks to the additional help of my Poison Mastery making my poison touch stronger and my Poison Assassin making my Poison ignore Poison Resistance, I was wracked with comfortable agony after changing outfits.

At last, I walked into the market square with some nice black slacks, a simple cotton shirt and a long black leather coat. Because my renown was still horrid and in the negative, and also because I was trying to sell stolen goods, I also had to wear my Poison Assassin’s Hat.

It took nearly 4 hours to sell all the junk and useless stuff from my inventory. By the time I was done, I’d met 6 orphans begging or walking around, 2 of which were crippled and 1 of which was poisoned. The combination of Orphan Heart, Orphan Crippler and my Sinister Undying class was like some kind of cruel honey trap.

Strangely, even after the two boys touched me and suddenly broke a leg or arm, they didn’t even hold it against me. Seeming as if, in their eyes, I could do no wrong. At the same time, just from the act of them crippling themselves by touching me I got almost 20 experience points from each of them.

Of course, I couldn’t just leave them like that. Even if my Orphan Heart didn’t threaten to give me a heart attack by leaving an orphan crippled in the street or suffering from poison, I myself would never be able to forgive such a transgression.

Thus, all the money I’d just made and the money I’d stolen from the gangsters was invested in the ingredients I needed for instant recovery potions. I spent almost 4 gold and cleared out 3 alchemy shops buying everything I needed.

By the time I was finished refining, Alchemy had reached level 4, Murphy’s Law had caused three accidents dropping my luck back to 2, and I’d ended up with almost as much poison as I did recovery potions.

I then decided it was time to close the orphan quest and move onto the tutorial quest from the game master. It’s without a doubt that such an action was a bad choice.

The moment I entered the yard of the orphanage all the orphans sprinted towards me with fanatical eyes like I was some kind of great hero.

Even if I wanted to, there was no way to escape quickly enough. Following my first step into the yard was a cacophony of screaming, and once again crippled, orphans.

The curator of the orphanage had no idea what was going on, but seeing me standing there and half the orphans around me on the ground with broken limbs, I could already guess what was going through his mind.

I started throwing instant recovery potions around like confetti to try and allay any potential incidents. I then rapidly distanced myself from the orphans and pulled the curator inside where I explained what was going on very clearly and eloquently.

“... 50% chance ... of that happening.”

Luckily, he seemed to recognise what I meant and simply looked at me with eyes filled with so much pity my Hurts So Good nearly collapsed.

I then managed to complete the quest when I thoroughly explained what happened after I left last night.

“ ... Taritz ... died.”

So smooth was my explanation, the curator only had to spend 20 minutes dragging a little bit more out of me till he understood that I somehow was responsible for Taritz’s death. Apparently, it didn’t matter that Poison Assassin was the one who got credit for the kill. The curator just seemed to assume that I had somehow hired him.

As a reward for my harrowing and valorous deed, I was given another skill book. I’d figured out by now that things like quest rewards tended to be randomised after you picked it up. For example, the tome in the bear cave just looked like an ordinary leather bound book ... that was floating ... until I touched it.

The same was for the skill book I received from this quest. Unusually, my luck seemed good for once as I actually got a useful skill that I really wanted.

Imbue

The skill of imbuing mana into something to achieve specific results.

Prerequisites: Mana Manipulation.

To say I was ecstatic about getting something so awesome for my second quest reward would be an understatement of my happiness. I immediately opened the book to let it shine its glorious memory implant light on me so I could start the skill progress.

‘Ping! Murphy’s Law has caused an accident. -1 Luck.’

Just as I was opening the cover of the book, an unexpected system prompt came. I paused opening the book to look around suspiciously. From what I could tell, no accidents had happened.

Nothing looked out of the ordinary, and everything seemed fine. I was curious, but my focus was drawn in again by the book. My desire for the Imbue skill was palpable. Although I could probably learn the skill myself if I practised, the memory implant of the skill book would shoot my experience directly to 1000 points and give me enough knowledge to be able to do it without practice.

Just as I opened the book and was preparing to receive the light, a bird flew into the huge glass window of the orphanage and shattered the mural of stained glass everywhere. The light shone forth from the book and as it did pieces of stained glass scattered between my face and the book causing all sorts of weird colours and beams of light to flash.

‘Ping! A new skill has reached level 1. Deprive.’

“Fuck!”

I immediately opened my status to check the damage only to become horrified by the outcome.

Deprive.

During a freak accident while learning ‘Imbue’ you’ve completely misinterpreted the intentions of the skill and developed some malignant sinister skill that is the complete opposite.

Instead of imbuing something by pouring mana into it, your mana will naturally deprive anything it touches of mana. It can even deprive an object of enchantments and eventually deprive a person of their life.

This Skill eliminates the possibility of learning Imbue.

It was something weird again. Another fucking weird skill! My Hurts So Good fired up like a great big furnace as it tried to burn away all these negative feelings.

In the end, I still walked out of the orphanage smiling, even after another 3 orphans who got too close needed an instant recovery potion.

I was trying to smile bitterly, but instead looked like I was beaming with joy. Hurts So Good truly was a coin with two faces.

I made the decision to lock this skill away in my hidden skills list and pretend I didn’t have it at all. The last thing I wanted was to deprive anyone of anything. Even the name of the skill made me feel a little nauseous.

Unfortunately, I now felt like the game system was making a deliberate effort to destroy me. It was almost as if every time I wanted something, the System found a way to ruin it. Imbue was the mana skill I wanted most, and now it had been corrupted into something perverse.

With an initially heavy heart ... that quickly became a light heart, I continued on my journey and the only quest I still had left. ‘Who the Fuck is Elizabeth?’

Having no idea where to even start, I decided that the best choice would be to go and visit Seelie at the Magic Academy. With any luck, she might know someone that could help me. It was only a guess, a sneaking suspicion, but I had the feeling if I started running around asking about this Elizabeth person then I was going to be disappeared.

This was for no other reason than the fact that her name was written on the back of a magic tome which was focused on ‘Sinister’ Magic Arts. If this person was some kind of mage or wizard, then it was likely the other Mages probably didn’t particularly like her.

I would go so far as to say ... she was probably a fucking criminal of some sort.

As I passed through town towards the north end of the city, I suddenly started getting an odd feeling. Every time I looked at a civilian, I had to take a second look. With every step, my eyes kept being drawn to the most innocent people within my field of vision.

Nun, little boy, another orphan, nurse, baker, that wise old man who always has advice.

By the time I was near the academy, my eyes were red and my fists clenched. I finally realised that my Unstable title was trying to compel me to waltz up and hack one of these people to death. It was almost uncontrollable.

It seemed that because I hadn’t killed anyone innocent by accident since the slums, which was more than 48 hours ago, my Unstable Title had reached the point that Hurts So Good couldn’t control it. I briefly checked my stats and saw my Mental Fortitude slowly creeping up faster and faster as the urge became more insatiable.

Still, with all my strength of will, I held back. There were a few close calls, but I managed to control myself. I kept my hands buried in my pockets and my Hat of Concealment lowered, making a valiant effort to not suddenly start throwing poison potions about everywhere in the middle of town and doing that strange thing where you laugh maniacally with a big sinister grin while tears stream down your face.

I reached the Academy not a moment too soon. It was probably getting to be about 10 in game-time, and the Academy grounds were lively and filled with all sorts of happy students strutting about with huge books and mages robes.

The Academy looked somewhat like a courtyard. On the 4 sides of the courtyard where 4 huge buildings about 5 stories tall and quite long and wide. One had verandas all along each side indicating it was most likely a dormitory of some description.

Another had a big library sign on it, and another had classrooms. The last one looked like some sort of lords castle and was presumably where all the teachers stayed and practised or experimented with magic.

In each corner of the courtyard between the buildings was a huge tower that was another 5 or 6 stories taller than the other buildings. The base of the towers connected the 4 side buildings and closed the courtyard off.

Surrounding all this was about a kilometre of cleared land with a few other buildings and magic laboratories spread about the place here and there. At the end of this 1 kilometre was a high brick wall that seemed to brim with all sorts of strange magic. Just getting near the thing gave me the shivers.

At the front of the school was a huge gate that acted as the access for students and visitors. Following that road led to a long street filled with shops and vendors all selling things of magical nature or ingredients for spells and potions.

This was where I came to buy the rejuvenation potion recipe and also where I bought most of my ingredients.

Now that I had the need, and desperately wanted to avoid innocent civilians, I rushed up to the gate of the Academy to find the gatekeeper. The big gate was closed, and like the wall it was covered in ivy and vines. On either side of the gate was two huge stone statues in the shape of wise old wizards. It was all bristling with queer magic and seemed to be rather dangerous to try and force open.

With no gatekeeper nearby, it most likely meant I was going to have to sit around here and wait, which was going to end up in disaster. I ended up pacing back and forth in front of the gate looking very impatient and nervous.

For nearly an hour I patiently waited in front of the gate. Finally, something happened.

“Deary you look so hungry. Would you like to buy some bread rolls! Fresh bread rolls!”

A sweet old lady walked up to me, apparently selling bread rolls from a tray. She looked very amiable and very innocent with a toothless old grin and kindness filling her eyes. Because most people tried to avoid approaching the gates unless they had business in the school, the area directly around the gate was mostly clear.

Apart from the old lady and me, no one was close enough to make anything out. I was greatly alarmed. The whole reason I stayed near the gate was so no one would be stupid enough to approach me. And now some sweet old lady, thinking I must be hungry having stood out here half the morning, is trying to ease my burdens.

“No!...”

Unlike my usually fluent speech, all I could do was growl out a ‘no’. And it very much was a growl. Strangely, that sweet old lady was very much oblivious to the very real danger to her life and insisted.

“Come deary, only 3 coppers, fresh baked bread rolls. You’re surely tired from...”

I finally snapped. With such an innocent and sweet old lady within direct reaching distance of an arm, my Unstable title overcame my resistance like a flood of water blowing away the walls of a damn.

‘Shwing.’

‘Click.’

My blade of sharpness made a shining arc of light through the air and was then once again buried in its sheath.

Before the blood could seep out from the sweet old lady my hand flicked and some Burning Acid turned her into ashes which spread on the wind.

I was horrified. Morbid. My self-hatred was eating me up. Without control, I buckled over and expelled my breakfast onto one of the gate statues. This was the first time I’d actually purposely killed someone I ‘knew’ was innocent.

Before this, it was an accident or misunderstanding, but this time was very much different than the rest. I knew beforehand and acted. Having the Unstable title, in my mind, wasn’t an acceptable excuse.

Making me feel even worse was the huge release of endorphins the title caused when suddenly fulfilling that sick desire to kill someone innocent.

‘Ping! Murphy’s Law has caused a Happy Accident. +1 Luck.’

‘Ping! Your ‘Party’ has completed the quest, Someone’s been poisoning the students! +5 Renown.’

‘Ping! Your ‘Party’ has completed the quest, Find the Witch of Eastgrove. +10 Renown.’

‘Ping! Your ‘Party’ has completed the quest, Drive out the Witch! +20 Renown.’

‘Ping! You have completed the hidden quest, Assassinate the Witch of Eastgrove. +20 Renown.’