《Lazy Ash》68. Ice, Learn, and Royally

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Ice

"Hmmm...You know it's odd. I never had one before but now that I do I kinda want to test it." I say outloud.

"Would you please stop admiring my sons privates in front of me and tell me who the fuck you are!?" Mom yells.

"My bad mom. I never really cared much for men never slept with one either preferred women but I must say this part of your son...Well lets just say he has a reason to have such pride in it."

"I am not your mother."

"Well yes and no. Different timelines and all that no need to go into right now."

I turn to look at grandma and smile. "Oh grandma I don't know how but you turned out to be a total bitch in four seperate timelines. Darkness ended up going to war with the clan, lighting ran, and me? Well I just said fuck it and slaughter the entire family. With exceptions of course. Everyone here besides you lived on,"

"Is that supposed to be a threat dear?" She replies.

"Oh nonononono. You made sure this body can't kill you."

Her eyes widen in surprise. My smile stayed, but I add that chilliness factor only women can put into a smile. "Oh yes he believes it's only the one and in every timeline it only has been one, but you did something extra in this timeline.' Tsk Tsk Tsk. Grandma I wonder what the vision showed you all those years back."

Her eyes narrowed and she scoffed at me. "If you know then why bolster?"

"Oh why grandma you can't be going senile can you?"

She looks at me in confusion.

"You see Ash himself may not know the truth of our family but I do. In the end we are thieves not warriors. So how is it we can step into the demi-god rank or higher? Why we steal of course! Treasures, weapons, souls, bodies , and in rare cases power."

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I saw the faces of all my family members change. "What? Didn't see that coming now did you? Oh yes I know all about how you guys snuck into the area where War was fighting Anubis and the other gods. You know it's quite odd, more than one god died but yet there were no bodies, now why is that?"

"What is all this? None of this helps you so why speak of it?" Grandma yelled clearly a little upset. Good

"Why? Well thats not such a smart question. I am saying all of this for Ash to hear of course. I mean he needs to know that our family's "steal" is more than what it seems. That everytime time he uses it based on what he steals he actually gains a portion of strength. He mainly used it to steal bullets or other worthless items that only give him 1/1000000 of his current strength."

"He's awake inside you?" Grandma asks while trembling.

"Sorta I am leaving a kind of message he just has to find the memory, but we have talked enough its time you learn a lesson."

"If you think we are just going to sit back and let you attack our Matriarch you are severely mistaken." Lesley shouts and mom and Aunt Sophie nod in agreement.

"Oh but you misunderstand I am not just here to teach her a lesson. All of the women who cause Ash problems are here in one spot."

I see lightbulbs going off in each head.

"Aw fuck." I hear Inari say.

In a split second they all decide to attack as one. "My my all so eager! Don't worry I'll get to each of you in time."

I wave my hand and freeze all the women even the ones on the ground leaving only their heads exposed, their mouths are frozen shut though. I didn't freeze grandma though. I let her come and as her fist aproaches I place a finger on it freezing it in place. Then I give vicious backhand and smile at the sound of her jaw breaking.

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"You might want to get creative out of all three of the elements you would think Ice would be defense supportive or something right? No darkness and lighting have those aspects covered. I am more..... aggressive."

She disapeared in a blur. But I felt a slight change behind me so I whipped my hand back and caught hers. "Now grandma I said creative. Now I am going to have to fail you on this lesson remember you're here to learn." Then I crushed her wrist.

She screamed and retreated in a blur. I calmly turned around and smile towards my grandmother. She was wrapping her wrist in a bandage.

"So you have blessed bandages seems I will need to kick it up a notch."

"I won't give you a chance bitch!" She snarls.

"Is that anyway to speak to your grandchild?"

In answer she pulls out of all things a tommy gun. "Wow grandma that's straight gangster literally."

She aims and unloads it towards me. I wave my hand to freeze all the bullets but it doesn't work. So I slap up an ice shield instead. I watch as the bullets start to crack it.

"I see a cursed weapon. Now why didn't you have these intresting toys when I killed you?"

Time to get serious I guess. I clapped my hands together and slowly pushed them out a cold breeze started building and just as my ice shield fell a full on blizzard was raging. As the bullets came near me they froze midair, cracked, then broke into smaller pieces.

"Its too bad I can't kill you." I sent all the broken bullet pieces and my blizzard at her.

If there was screaming the blizzard drowned it out. Once the blizzard passed my grandmothers torn and frost bitten body lay twitching on the ground.

"Well thats one."

I look at all the pale frightened faces.

"This is going to be fun!"

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Ash

Oh oh fuck my head hurts! I open my eyes to see a familiar white area. I feel a weight on my chest and notice Ciar sleeping. I reach to pet her.

"Good girl."

"So your finally awake."

I turn my head and see a scared shitless Uncle Tom.

"Hey whats up Uncle?"

"Do you have any idea what you did?"

"No pretty sure I don't care though she had it coming you know?"

"Oh really why don't you tilt your head back."

So I did and immediately regretted it.

"I'm uh... I'm fucked aren't I?"

"Royally."

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