《Lazy Ash》68. Ice, Learn, and Royally
Advertisement
Ice
"Hmmm...You know it's odd. I never had one before but now that I do I kinda want to test it." I say outloud.
"Would you please stop admiring my sons privates in front of me and tell me who the fuck you are!?" Mom yells.
"My bad mom. I never really cared much for men never slept with one either preferred women but I must say this part of your son...Well lets just say he has a reason to have such pride in it."
"I am not your mother."
"Well yes and no. Different timelines and all that no need to go into right now."
I turn to look at grandma and smile. "Oh grandma I don't know how but you turned out to be a total bitch in four seperate timelines. Darkness ended up going to war with the clan, lighting ran, and me? Well I just said fuck it and slaughter the entire family. With exceptions of course. Everyone here besides you lived on,"
"Is that supposed to be a threat dear?" She replies.
"Oh nonononono. You made sure this body can't kill you."
Her eyes widen in surprise. My smile stayed, but I add that chilliness factor only women can put into a smile. "Oh yes he believes it's only the one and in every timeline it only has been one, but you did something extra in this timeline.' Tsk Tsk Tsk. Grandma I wonder what the vision showed you all those years back."
Her eyes narrowed and she scoffed at me. "If you know then why bolster?"
"Oh why grandma you can't be going senile can you?"
She looks at me in confusion.
"You see Ash himself may not know the truth of our family but I do. In the end we are thieves not warriors. So how is it we can step into the demi-god rank or higher? Why we steal of course! Treasures, weapons, souls, bodies , and in rare cases power."
Advertisement
I saw the faces of all my family members change. "What? Didn't see that coming now did you? Oh yes I know all about how you guys snuck into the area where War was fighting Anubis and the other gods. You know it's quite odd, more than one god died but yet there were no bodies, now why is that?"
"What is all this? None of this helps you so why speak of it?" Grandma yelled clearly a little upset. Good
"Why? Well thats not such a smart question. I am saying all of this for Ash to hear of course. I mean he needs to know that our family's "steal" is more than what it seems. That everytime time he uses it based on what he steals he actually gains a portion of strength. He mainly used it to steal bullets or other worthless items that only give him 1/1000000 of his current strength."
"He's awake inside you?" Grandma asks while trembling.
"Sorta I am leaving a kind of message he just has to find the memory, but we have talked enough its time you learn a lesson."
"If you think we are just going to sit back and let you attack our Matriarch you are severely mistaken." Lesley shouts and mom and Aunt Sophie nod in agreement.
"Oh but you misunderstand I am not just here to teach her a lesson. All of the women who cause Ash problems are here in one spot."
I see lightbulbs going off in each head.
"Aw fuck." I hear Inari say.
In a split second they all decide to attack as one. "My my all so eager! Don't worry I'll get to each of you in time."
I wave my hand and freeze all the women even the ones on the ground leaving only their heads exposed, their mouths are frozen shut though. I didn't freeze grandma though. I let her come and as her fist aproaches I place a finger on it freezing it in place. Then I give vicious backhand and smile at the sound of her jaw breaking.
Advertisement
"You might want to get creative out of all three of the elements you would think Ice would be defense supportive or something right? No darkness and lighting have those aspects covered. I am more..... aggressive."
She disapeared in a blur. But I felt a slight change behind me so I whipped my hand back and caught hers. "Now grandma I said creative. Now I am going to have to fail you on this lesson remember you're here to learn." Then I crushed her wrist.
She screamed and retreated in a blur. I calmly turned around and smile towards my grandmother. She was wrapping her wrist in a bandage.
"So you have blessed bandages seems I will need to kick it up a notch."
"I won't give you a chance bitch!" She snarls.
"Is that anyway to speak to your grandchild?"
In answer she pulls out of all things a tommy gun. "Wow grandma that's straight gangster literally."
She aims and unloads it towards me. I wave my hand to freeze all the bullets but it doesn't work. So I slap up an ice shield instead. I watch as the bullets start to crack it.
"I see a cursed weapon. Now why didn't you have these intresting toys when I killed you?"
Time to get serious I guess. I clapped my hands together and slowly pushed them out a cold breeze started building and just as my ice shield fell a full on blizzard was raging. As the bullets came near me they froze midair, cracked, then broke into smaller pieces.
"Its too bad I can't kill you." I sent all the broken bullet pieces and my blizzard at her.
If there was screaming the blizzard drowned it out. Once the blizzard passed my grandmothers torn and frost bitten body lay twitching on the ground.
"Well thats one."
I look at all the pale frightened faces.
"This is going to be fun!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ash
Oh oh fuck my head hurts! I open my eyes to see a familiar white area. I feel a weight on my chest and notice Ciar sleeping. I reach to pet her.
"Good girl."
"So your finally awake."
I turn my head and see a scared shitless Uncle Tom.
"Hey whats up Uncle?"
"Do you have any idea what you did?"
"No pretty sure I don't care though she had it coming you know?"
"Oh really why don't you tilt your head back."
So I did and immediately regretted it.
"I'm uh... I'm fucked aren't I?"
"Royally."
Advertisement
- In Serial132 Chapters
Disciple, Don't Cause Trouble, Master Won't Leave the Mountain!
Benedict was transported to a world of cultivation and awakened the Invincible Domain system. Within this domain, he was invincible!Furthermore, the system allows him to expand and increase the level of his domain as he accepts more disciples and completes more quests.In this world, the most powerful people could tear space apart with a single palm; cruel demons are prevalent. Thus, Benedict proclaimed that he would not leave the mountain for the sake of his own safety!After he accepted a few disciples, they went down the mountain and made a mess of the world. When they couldn’t win an opponent, they would flee back to the mountain and plead Benedict to seek revenge for them.With a leg of a strange beast in hand that he had just roasted, he waved his other hand and said, «Good disciple, master will not leave the mountain. Why don’t you invite them up?»
8 1037 - In Serial93 Chapters
Coeus?
Author's Comment: I was asked about reading my work on other sites. The answer is simple: Currently I am not active in any other networks than royalroadl.com. Only here, I correct mistakes and errors. If you read it anywhere else and have to pay for it, or have to deal with an annoying amount of advertisement, You Are Being Betrayed. You would do good if you make other people in that network aware of it. This is a free project of mine for the purpose of having fun. And if people try to make money with it you shouldn't bother visiting their website. The only one whom I actually allowed to have my work on his website is Armaell who invested the time to compile them into pdf. (http://armaell-library.net/author/andur) ——————————————————————————————— Reading Order of the Multiverse-Books ——————————————————————————————— About a boy who isn’t quite normal and doesn’t see himself as a human being, but is taught differently as he finds out about the world's secrets. Though not everyone is happy about his existence. This is inteded to evolve into a full blown space opera with elements of magic thrown into it. ——————————————————————————————— The OneShot goes FullStory. Trying to go a little more SciFi and alternate reality this time. I am not entirely sure how this fiction will turn out. And I am not sure on the tags either. They may change. Bear with it. As always, how chapters turn out is up to my mood.
8 248 - In Serial20 Chapters
Swamp Boy
While still a young child James was bought by the Sorceress Lauren. She told his desperate family that she was looking for an apprentice. In reality she recognized the great store of magical energy the young boy held and she desired to feed from him; and thus take his power for her own. The local people had another name for the Sorceress; they called her the Swamp Witch and most were in fear of her though they all needed her potions to survive living on the edge of Drake's Swamp.James would learn many things while being the slave of the Swamp Witch, many of them bad but his experiences would make him someone to be reckoned with.
8 180 - In Serial48 Chapters
Rise of the Lich!
He had a good life, well at least until it was taken from him. Follow the story of a man who lost everything and now strives for revenge! ...kinda. Light Spoiler: It's basicly a story in which someone becomes an Undead after he died, enjoy!
8 464 - In Serial14 Chapters
Wrath of the chosen (DROPPED)
Wrath of the chosen follows Jon sizlash, a forensic pathologist that is brutally murdered by some hired guns. However instead of going to whatever awaits you after death, his soul is summoned by Rignath the god of entertainment, for the purpose of saving another world while bringing joy to the gods of the multiverse. Unsurprisingly Jon gets pissed and promises two things to Rignath; 1 that he will save the world, but he will do so using his methods and 2 that when he is done Rignath owes him any one favor. DROPPED
8 192 - In Serial7 Chapters
Death Game
A game of death. 20 players. 20 weapons. One mad scientist. Game for him but horror for others! Read how 20 people try to kill each other and what they do to survive. And one bug in the game which no one expected. Author's note: From the prologue till chapter 6 I wrote this novel in first person but I will write it in second person from now on.
8 59

