《Lazy Ash》59. Grandma, Never Again, and Bed time.
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Wow am I annoyed right now. Seriously Just fuck off guys. You know who you are so bye.
For now on I don't plan to check or read my pm's or comments unless you have commented or pmed me previously on most of my chaps and I recognize you. Oh you also must have not of bitched about how I write MY STORY! I mean seriously the last Chapter has been up for all of two hours (as I am writing this) and I get bitching?
Honestly I am about done. Sorry but I have issues as it is and this is a hobby that helps with them and if it is just going to be another thing that makes things worse I will just stop.
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Tim Falls Sr.
♪Carry on my wayward son.♪
I hear my phone go off and the ringtone tells me it is my son Ash. I get out of bed and notice my wife is gone. I am a little worried but then again sometimes she has emergencies at the restaurant. I grab my phone and answer it.
"Hey son whats-
"DAD! Listen to me their all here!?" I hear him shout over the line.
"All who? And where is here?" I ask him confused.
"The list dad! Three are here and pissed! And "She" is here!" His voice goes grave at the end.
I am now wide awake. "Dear god son what did you do!"
"I didn't do anything! I came home had dinner then they show up!"
"Son you need to run! This is no joke! I have seen stronger men than you break!" I was truly worried for my oldest son he can't end up like me!
"I know dad look I need to to enact plan-
He gets cut off. "Son? Are you there? What plan son! Come on which one!"
"Oh hello Timothy."
Hearing the voice I turn my phone off and chuck it out the window. I then grab my work phone and call my brother in law.
"Damn Tim it's like almost midnight I got work in the morning." He says when he picks up.
"Code Ash is Fucked." I say immediately.
"I will buy the plane tickets! You make sure you get to the airport fast!" He hurries and says.
"I know."
"What happened?"
"Ash called me and was about to ask me to enact one of the plans. "She" was on his phone before he could finish."
"May god have mercy on his soul."
"May god have mercy on us if he spills!"
"You do know Thanksgiving is literally less than two days away right?" He says in a defeated sigh.
I stop packing a bag and sit down on my bed. If we went through with this plan we were done when we got back. The only way we could make the excuse is when we absolutely sure it would be believable.
"We have gotten away with it before." I try to persuade
"Yes but Ash covered our tracks online."
"All we can do is pray then."
He just sighs on the other end of the line.
"Good luck Ash." we both say in unison. Then I start unpacking. No way I am getting caught.
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Ash
I am staring at my grandma in shock. Using my darkness I managed to fade into the shadows for a moment. I still can't shadow port but this worked for me. Anyway doing this I was able to slip away and erect a holy barrier boosted by the red gloves.
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While in the barrier I made a call to my dad to try to get one of the escape plans underway. You see we made these plans just in case on of us men make a really big mistake. Then we all band together and help the individual or parties make a break for it while the women calm down a bit.
But while I was on the phone my grandmother managed to "steal" it from me. You know it kind of sucks when people have the same powers as you.
I turn to see Mom, Lesley, and aunt Sophie come in the room.
"So it's true. After a bit of digging and snooping around the gods I finally managed to figure out what happened to you after overhearing a talk with Rhea and Laverna." My grandmother says while giving me a look over.
"Wait what?" I ask in surprise.
"The changes to you dear. You see your mother never really bought the whole story you fed her. So she informed me and I decided to look into it."
I shoot a look at mom who just raises an eye at me. Ok score one for mom.
"So why are you guys here?" I ask fear in my voice.
"Ash you idiot! We have been worried sic about you!" My cousin yells at me.
"What? I disapear into my room sometimes months at a time what is two weeks!?" I say.
"You don't get it nephew." Aunt Sophie says.
"Get what?" I ask.
"Son we are able to monitor what plane you are on at all times and six days ago we lost you. We couldn't feel the slightest trace of you! So we all got together and started looking for clues. Eventually we tracked you here and tried to get in but the place was far to heavily guarded and I ended up in a supermax Super prison where your cousin, aunt, and grandmother had to break me out from." She gave me a glare. I just whistled innocently.
"Then when I tried to break in here and found that the place was heavily ward we all tried our expertise to get in. Once we were almost in though I was blasted by a huge bolt of lighting." She finishes.
"Wait you guys can tell what plane I am on!?" I ask
"Not now dear." Grandma shushes me.
"Ash we need to know what happened. We know you have been lying to us and let it go as all boys need their secrets but merging souls with the Sister of Lucifer and the top Assassin from the Light Kitsune Clan? What in the name of the goddess were you thinking hiding something like that!?" Aunt Sophie says.
"Um sorry?" I say a little hesitantly.
My mom marches up to my barrier, backhands it, destroying it, and pulls me into a hug while tears stream down her face.
"Do you have any idea what we were going through? We thought one of those assholes found out about you and decided to take you!" She sobs while holding me.
Okay, maybe I overreacted a bit here. This doesn't seem like a take Ash and force him to do things he doesn't want to raid.
"Look I'm sorry but how the hell was I supposed to know that you guys are a hell of a lot more than you seemed? You didn't really tell me shit!"
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My mom smacked me on the back of my head followed by my grandmother and aunt.
"Watch your mouth!" They said in unison.
Those hits weren't light either. Even with my newly strengthened body, they hurt like hell! Makes sense though since my mother swatted my shield away like a fly!
Then all the women turned to Alita and Inari.
"Master I see now why you are terrified of these women. The power coming off them reminds me of my mother." Ciar tells me.
"Ciar. I am never meeting your mother."
"I understand. Although my father might be worse."
"Noted."
We stopped our conversation as it seemed my family was about to talk to the girls.
"So what do you two have to say hmm?" My mother says anger clear in her voice.
"Look Miss Falls Ash saved us! We aren't entirely sure how he managed to merge our souls with that "steal" power of yours. In fact, I checked in heaven that power should not be able to do something like that!" Alita says.
"Your right it doesn't have the power to do so.But the thing is you guys could've separated from him long before these changes happened! I mean look at my grandson! He has tails, fox ears, and wings! He is a laverna, not some mutt or stupid bird brain!" Grandma yells in disgust.
Oh no.
Alita and Inari both got offended by her tone. "Excuse me bitch!" Both of them say.
Oh shit.
"Hey uh Rhea, if you can hear me now would be a good time for like a job or something. Hell, I would even owe for doing the job what do you say?" I wanted out of there but unfortunately, my prayer went unanswered.
Damn.
The room got really cold and Alita and Inari started crackling with energy. My family started to let off a dangerous aura. Even Lesley although nowhere near as bad as the others.
"Master this is about to get really bad." I could feel her shaking in fear on my head.
Okay. God dog who fought an evil god with you is terrified. Now I know shit just got real. Let's see if I can try and resolve this without the people I care most for ripping each other (and possibly me) to shreds.
"Okay you guys need to stop before I get upset myself."
All the women in the room looked at me like I was a yapping dog wondering just who the hell I think I am.
"Wow you know what never felt this low before. Kinda hurts." I mutter.
Okay lets try a different approach.
"ALL OF YOU SIT THE FUCK DOWN NOW!!!!!!!!" I shout using holy power to amplify my voice.
All of the jumped and looked at me in surprise. Then narrowed their eyes at me.
"Uh I mean, please?"
Their powers retreated and they all exchanged glares but made no move to sit.
"Ash tell me why are they still here despite being separated from you finally." Grandma asks.
"Uh well. I uh....." I couldn't answer since I wasn't 100% on that myself.
"Well we are here because your grandson finds a "mutt" and a "bird brain" sexy!" Inari says
Yep that totally didn't make matters worse.
All the auras in the room went back up.
My mother turns to me. "Ash you....Have you slept with them?" I could tell she forced that one out.
"Well no. Not them. Pretty sure you met the others though." Shut up me! What are you saying! Stop telling the truth!
Grandma turns to mom. "Others?"
"Oh two lovely sorceresses and two adorable vampire girls. There were some "others" but they weren't much."
Wait why was that said so casually.
"I see at least he stuck with human or mostly human anyway. Any prospects on them?" Aunt Sophie chimes up.
"Well Sam and Clare seem to have a bit too much baggage and eat his vitality whenever he is with them. The vampires tend to drain him every time as well so no granny. While they are nice girls they aren't suited for him." Lesley says.
Wait seriously what is going on here? What the hell happened to the epic fight that was about to go down!? I give Alita and Inari questioning looks. They just narrow their eyes at my family.
"I see...*Sigh* Then like Roger I will have to find someone. Although it may be hard since he has been changed. Our family has stayed predominately human for centuries and now this." Grandma says.
"Okay my feelings are starting to get hurt here." I say genuinely hurt.
Grandma turns and pulls me into a hug.
"Oh honey don't worry honestly I find you adorable! Your mother sent me some pictures of you with just the fox parts and I wanted to dress you up again like old times!" She says.
I shivered in horror. NEVER AGAIN! I shot across the room and held Ciar out in front of me. I opened the floodgates so she can grab as much power as possible.
All my family glance at her curiously as if just now noticing her.
"Ash you got a puppy?" Lesley asks.
"Yes she is the most badass puppy in the world."
"I thought you hated pets honey?" Mom says.
Ciar gives me a hurt look and my insides twist. "She is not a pet! She is....She is like my daughter!" Ciars face lights up and she jumps from my hands to my chest.
"Ciar the claws! The claws!" She starts licking my face while her claws dig into my chest.
"Oh Ash you are not going to be one of those pet owners are you?" Sophie says.
"For the last time I am not masters pet!" Ciar turns around and says stunning them.
"She can talk?" They say.
"Long story. Look as you guys can see I am exceedingly tired and really need some sleep so how about this. We all get together on Thanksgiving and I explain things okay? Now please go home I need to fix my security team and probably pay them a little more."
Mom looked like she wanted to say something but Grandma held up her hand. "Fine. But you are not to sleep with these two. Trust me I will know." She waved her hand and all of them were gone.
Mental note: Be more afraid of Grandma.
I look over at the girls. "So who's ready for bed?"
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