《Lazy Ash》56. Crying, Home, and I am so Fucked!

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I hate the month of July more than November and December. I literally have no weekend to myself this month. Anyway here you guys go.

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Ash.

"Master why are you crying?" Ciar asks on top of my head.

"I *sniff* am not *sniff* crying! I just have something in my eyes!" I reply.

Damn it I keep breaking number 22. I was so close! Goddess damn it! Why! Wah!

My inner self starts throwing a temper tantrum. One thing about guys is we hate having something snatched away when we are so close to sealing the deal. Be it with a fight, a game, or food. No matter what we can't stand it especially when we almost got to screw that one really hot chick and then someone fucks it up for you. At that point, you just became a mortal enemy throughout all time and space.

I made a mental to find a way to utterly annihilate Abyss if the chance ever arrives.

With nothing better to do I turn and jump into the portal Rhea left and head home but not before leaving the little prick a present.

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Chronos

"I swear those two are more annoying than their grandmother! I mean sheesh what a pair of princesses I may have to apologize to the kid for having to deal with-"

..............

"I am going to fucking murder that bastard! Wait where the hell is my wallet!?"

Spelled out on all the clocks in black flames that are eating them away is the same thing.

"Revenge! You short little brat! P.S. How's it feel to never fully make it out of puberty!? LOL :)"

----------------------

Ash

I popped back into my city in the same space as I when I left. I looked around and noticed a few changes. One major one was the city looked like it just went through a war.

"Huh wonder who invaded this time? Or was it a villain going for the whole world take over bit? Meh not really my problem might as well check the date."

I pull out my phone and check. "Oh fuck." turns out it is November 22, which means that Thanksgiving is in two days. That means not only have I not seen my family in over two weeks I have at least according to them ignored them close to the holidays.

"Master you seem to be sweating quite a bit are you okay?" Ciar asks.

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"Yep just trying to figure out a path that doesn't end with my mother and the women I sleep with killing me."

"If anyone tries to harm you I will end them don't worry master!" There was a little too much promise in her voice. I just patted her on the head.

Great new mental note: Do not let Ciar kill mom and the girls. Maybe ruff them up a bit. Just a little though.

Ciar rubs her head against my hand in satisfaction and lays down. "So master this is your home in the future?"

"Yea although it seems like someone tried to take it over again."

"Again?"

"Yea here in Mega City it's kinda normal. You tend to get used to it after a while. Our insurance policies are the shit though."

"I see. So where are we headed?" She asks.

"Well.....I guess the best bet is my apartment for a shower for the both of us. Then a bit of game time followed by a lot of Taco Bell. Been craving that for some reason. Lastly I should probably get in contact with my family."

"Taco Bell?"

"Pup I am going to introduce you to the wonderful world of lazy nerds. Trust me when I say this it's awesome. Taco Bell is a must on a long list of things to make said life perfect."

"Aren't you a thief?"

"Well that's somewhat true. I guess I will have to teach you how I operate." I start to ponder on how to teach a god dog how to steal and the implications of doing so.

"Oh no need master! Since I noticed the blood of the goddess of thieves in you I have taken the liberty of doing a few things myself. Like taking all the jewelry from a shop and stealing Chronos's wallet." She drops all said things in front of me.

"Wait you stole his wallet!?" I pick it up and check inside.

Lets see two hundred bucks, Score! A couple of receipts hmm wait a gym membership at the Gods Universe gym? Gonna pocket that one. Not much else so I just cover it in black flames.

"Pup I love you." I proceed to pet her all the way back to my apartment as she sighs in content. I make sure to change into a pair of jeans and a Team Mystic shirt.

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The little prick is so going to be pissed off.

When I make it back to my apartment I am greeted by my security. Can't remember their names though. Hmm selective eidetic memory is a bitch. Oh well.

"Sir it's nice to see you again. Next time please inform us if you are going to disappear for a week as we weren't sure you were dead or not. But the checks didn't bounce so we decided to stay." The security dude says.

"Yea about that my bad well at least you guys had an early vacation with pay. So win-win right?"

He shares a look with another security guard and looks back at me.

"What?"

"Well. You see a woman came by and claimed to be your mother."

Oh no. "And?" Fear slightly etching my voice.

"At first we just told her we don't know a person by the name of Ash Falls like you requested. Then she got really really upset. Sir she took down almost the entire security force before we used that magic sigil you left us and teleported her away. After that someone tried to break into your apartment 16 times before they finally gave up two days ago."

After hearing the security guard explain all that happened I was sweating bullets. I left that angel rune that Alita taught me with them. It was my insurance policy if someone showed up they couldn't handle. It teleports someone to the nearest maximum security prison for supers.

But they used it on my mom.

........

I am so fucked words can't even describe how much. I am pretty sure scribes would have to work with a thousand quantum computers just to calculate the correct amount of fucked I am to put down in their stories.

At least I know she broke out since I am sure the someone was her that tried to break into my apartment. But no matter how good she is she can't get in. Even if she enlisted the help of some of the girls like Sam or Clare. My place has the combined defenses of kitsune and angels. The magical protections make all the protections that the Council of Supers use look like paper.

Not to mention my tech defenses put even Fort Knox and Mega Tower to shame. I paid quite a bit of money for the best and even upgraded all the software for everything personally. Not a damn person was getting in there.

"Alright well good job and sorry about my mother she can be...overprotective."

"Sir that is the worlds biggest understatement."

"Yea......Look order me some Taco Bell and have it sent up. Double the usual." I then head for the elevators.

"Double the usual!? He orders like 70$ worth of food on a normal basis! And now he wants double!? It's bad enough when we pull up they try to lock down the store! Now they are just going to tell us to fuck off!" I hear the muttering complaints of my security as I reach the elevators.

Hey if you are going to work in fast food I am going to make sure you earn your pay!

When we finally get to my floor I look around in appreciation. "Ah home sweet home!"

Ciar jumps down and looks around in wonder. "Master lives really well!"

"Yea hacking companies and stealing from assholes pays well." I reply.

"You will have to explain what hacking is later but for now master there are two creatures of power in here!" Ciar's voice drops and she warns me.

I immediately start pouring power through my body and get ready to shoot the first motherfucker I see with a lightning bolt. How the fuck they got in was going to be explained. My suit wraps back around me.

I had Ciar lead the way as both of us stay to the shadows wrapping them around us to block all noise and smell. I was going to do it for Ciar but seeing she could do it herself impressed me.

She leads me to the door that leads to the deck and I can see two people sitting in my hot tub. Well fuckers you are about to see what happens when lightning hits water!

We use shadows to open the door quietly and I get ready to slam a bolt of lighting in the middle of the two.

"Ash if you throw that bolt of lighting I will kick your ass." An extremely familiar voice says.

I drop all my powers and pull down my hood. I now know the identities of the two in my hot tub.

"What's up Alita, Inari?" I say with a smile.

However before they can answer Ciar launches one of her spheres of death that she used on Abyss.

*Sigh* Fuck!

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