《Lazy Ash》54. Trick, Soul imprint, and Hello Mini-Dick, My name is Ash

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Ash

"You think you are a match for me? Hahahaha! FOOL! Even if you are at your normal strength how do you plan on defeating me? Even an army led by many gods couldn't kill me what chance do you think that you will have!?" Abyss laughed coldy at me.

"Ya now everyone always looks down on me. I gotta admit it pisses me off a bit."

I knew he was right though. Sure he may be in a weakened state due to the body he currently possess but I know killing him isn't possible. That said I am an American and since when do we make smart decisions?

I didn't plan on fighting this guy straight up. Since he has Baldy's super speed I can't match it. Especially since it seems he has boosted it to the demi-god level. If not for my sight I would've pulled a "Hey look over there!" and ran.

Without the girls I don't have the skill/knowledge boost that comes with how to better use these weapons. Sure I can use them with decent proficiency but not well enough to use against this asshole. So I did something not even the girls thought of before.

Since they no longer possessed the weapons that means they were just extensions of my own soul mixed with theirs. So I can control them without even moving.

First I had the chain daggers circle and twist around my neck all the way up to the point where they even covered half my face. I had the daggers float at my sides both poised and ready to strike like extra appendages.

With the gloves I can't do much beside bring up the bow and boost my shields. Kinda wish Alita added another function. Oh well what they do now should serve their purpose.

Abyss stood there the whole time with a smirk on his face. Letting me make my preparations.

"Are you quite done?" He says with a yawn.

"Almost honey. Just need to get one more thing." I look up and shoot out an apology.

Sorry Rhea but did you honestly expect me to just give it up like that?

With that I could out to a certain part of my soul.

--------------------------------------

???????

"The weapon Rhea provided me with is incredible! I have been even able to take down minor gods! With this I sho-"

I froze because said weapon was shaking violently and then it shot out of my grasp and disappeared into thin air.

"Wha...."

---------------------------------------

Rhea

"*Sigh*"

"Oh would you stop that woman!? The boy should make it back just fine what are you worrying about!?" Chronos snaps at me for the hundredth time.

"Well I am just worried about what to say to the girls. I mean after last they saw me I did try to kill their mother. As for Ash I have absolute faith he will make it out just fine." I reply to him.

"That's what all this sighing has been about!? What you are going to say to your grandkids!?" He shouts clearly annoyed.

"You wouldn't understand."

"I am a grandfather a hundred times over on at least twelve different planets!"

"It's a woman thing."

His mouth just hung open for a second before he let out a sigh. "Fuck it. This is not worth the effort. Go back to sighing. At least then- What in the name of the Powers!?" I hear Chronos shout and turn to look.

A streak of light was soaring through the air and slammed into the ground right where Chronos activated his portal to send Ash back. The streak of light sunk into the ground and didn't stop disappearing into the void beyond.

"My Goddess have I upset you?"

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I hear a prayer from my best champion come through.

"Now dear why would you think that?" I ask since she seems quite worried.

Chronos looks at me curiously.

"There is something up with one of my champions." He just gives me a nod.

"Well that weapon you gave me just took off and I have no idea where it went." My champion tells me.

I knew right away what happened. I bolted up right and walked over to where the streak just disappeared to.

"That sneaky sexy bastard left a part of his soul in it!" I cry out in both outrage at being tricked and pride for the fact that he had the balls to do so.

"He left his part of his soul in what? Rhea what the in the name of the Powers was that?" Chronos asks a slight bit of annoyance in his voice.

"A God killing weapon." I reply.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

-----------------------------------------

Ash

I feel it coming and smile. Reach out my hand I catch it. "Hello old friend now it seems the gang is all back together." I look up and notice the smirk on Abyss's face is no longer there.

"Whats the matter Abby boo boo?"

"What is that thing!" I can hear a slight tremble in hi voice. Ohhhhh someone is finally a little afraid.

"This old thing? Why it just so happens to be the one and only Lance of Longinus." I say.

Yep the lance was never too far out of reach. The girls and I noticed it had a owner function. Where all I had to do was imprint my soul in it and whenever I called it would be mine. Rhea might be pissed but I wasn't just going to hand over my only weapon against gods to her. No matter how much I would love to bang her.

"I have never heard of a God killer with such a name before! It must have been made after I was sealed. But for you to have such a thing are you trying to make all the heavens and hells you enemies!?" He shouts at me.

I can feel Ciar on top of my head tremble a little at the sight of the weapon. I reach up to reassure her with a pat.

"Master you know I think your best master ever right?" I hear a little tremble in her voice.

"And I think you are the best pup in the world." I know she can hear the smirk in my voice.

While we were talking Abyss decided to get things started. He rushed me at top speed. However I never took my eyes off him and had lighting and holy power pushing speed from the very start.

I easily dodge him and had one of my daggers shoot forward and slam into the side of his head. The dagger embedded itself fully in his head.

"Huh that was easier than I thought. Score one for simplicity."

"Master please tell me you are not that naive."

Aww man. Probably best not to tell her I truly thought I just won.

Abyss turned toward me and ripped the dagger out of his head. "Good so you can put up a fight. I will admit your god killer gave me pause but you don't have the requirements to use it fully now do you?"

Damn! How is it everyone knows I can't do shit either!? Is there a book on Ash somewhere? The fucker was right the weapon can kill gods but to do so I have to be willing to put my soul against theirs.

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Or I have to channel the power equal to that of a gods through the weapon to kill them otherwise it will just fuck them up. So one my soul won't hold up against a gods if I channel it through the lance and two I have no gods essence to channel through the lance. In short if I want to kill this guy with this weapon I would have to fight a long drawn out battle and weaken him to a point where my soul could win against his. Even then I am not confident because my soul is not whole.

Part is in my weapons and part is in the girls. Goddess damnit! I want another godkiller! Why couldn't the blood of Christ stay on this damn thing so I can continue to kill fuck wits like this.

"You may be right on that but heres the thing. I am still going to fuck you up."

I followed that with a thrust. Abyss swiped the thrust to the side and followed up with a thrust of his own. His hand covered in black miasma and formed a sword. I noticed it to late and he lopped off my left arm.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK THAT HURT!" I turned my pain sense off when the pain rolled through me.

Shit the fight just started and I already lost a fucking arm!? I call haxs!

Abyss smirks at my and black mist overs his arms turning them into axes. Then he blurs towards me and start slahing madly at me.

I am using everything I have to dodge and stop the blood flow from my arm. I manage to find a pattern in his swings and slash him with the lance. Then when he lets out a yell I send my daggers into his eyes with a bit of devouring flame attached as an added bonus.

"You take my arm I take your eyes!"

Abyss screams in rage and agony. He is currently swinging wildly trying to find me as everytime his eyes try to heal my flames eat them. If I didn't get the boost from darkness earlier I don't think I could manage to even hurt him with my flames. Greatfully eyes aren't all that strong.

"I will feast upon your flesh as I violate your family!" He screams out.

"No need to get graphic there is a child present." I mock scold him in my perfect mom voice.

I wait for an opportunity and start stabbing him as many times as possible while he thrashes around. I manage to stab him quite a few times before he explodes in a storm of black mist.

I use my glove to instantly throw up a shield. I see my arm that was cut off get caught up in the mist and watch it disovle.

"Well there goes old lefty. When I get a new arm I am going to have to break it in with soooooo much porn. After all it is going to need to catch up with righty again. I keep each at the same amount of jerks a piece. Can't go screwing up the dynamic duo." I say with a bit of loss.

"You can grow limbs master?"

"Probably. But I kinda have goddess on hand, an Arch angel, and a Kitsune who specializes in the light element so between them I should be able to get a new one if I can't regrow one."

"My loyal! Your god needs your assitance surround the area and lend me your eyes!" I hear Abyss yell out.

"Hey thats cheating asshole!" I knew what he was up to instantly. The fucker was going to have tons of eyes watching my every move! Whats more if it works how I think he may even be able to predict my next move as well!

The mist clears and all around the area are multiple creatures. Watching me.

........

"Is it too late to say sorry?"

He just roars and charges me while all the monsters with ranged attacks start shooting at me. Gratefully they are no where near as fast as their master and I can dodge them just fine. But I do end up having to throw a shield over the twins so they dont accidentally shot with something. Gratefully they were outside the range of the mist he let out other wise this would have been a whoops moment.

His attacks start getting closer and closer with each slash. With all the eyes and me constantly dodging their attacks he is able to scrape me more than once and soon I am covered in cuts.

"I have to do something or this guy is going to slowly chop me to pieces." I let out while panting.

I know the lance works as all the wounds caused by it aren't healing but they haven't even slowed him down! Well let try a little bit of shenanigans.

I wait for him to step forward then ice over his foot causing him to slip and dodge to the side and take off one of his legs. He goes down in a tumble. The fucker wasn't even fazed. He just used his mist to make another leg and came back at me.

"Aww bullshit!"

I go back on the defensive and try to do more tricks but now he is keeping a watch out for them and the second I try something his mist stops it and he continues to attack.

"Ok time to steal another attack!"

I gather as much holy energy as I can except this time I make it light and less destructive but a hell of a lot more flashy. I point the lance in the air, focus the energy on the tip, and let it go. The result was a flash of blinding light.

"Eat a solar flare bitches!"

As all the creatures were stuck shielding their eye Abyss had nothing to see with. So I sent my chain daggers out and wrapped him up. Then had them spread out and anchor in the ground. But I didn't stop there I made an arm out of ice and pulled out my bow from the gloves.

I rapid fired an arrow into each chain link. The flash ended and Abyss noticed his situation.

"You think to trap me? Like this will possibly work!" He just laughs it off and starts to pull on the bindings.

"Who said anything about a trap?" I smile at him.

I recall the daggers and as they wrapped around him the arrows that are in the links follow with them. Abyss noticed what I was up to too late.

"Abyss meet my shredder. Shredder Abyss."

The result was exactly how I imagined. The arrows and chains worked like a saw ripping him to pieces.

When the daggers came back he fell down in a mess of gore. I had no illusion that he was dead this time though. But I wasn't fully done.

I flew straight up and put up a shield to block any projectiles. Then I started putting as much power into the lance as possible. I was planning on nuking the fucker with everything I have.

-------------------------

Abyss

How is this possible!? Why does such an insignificant little ant have so many tricks!? I am a GOD! I refuse to believe a little child can stop me!

I will show him! You do not try and mess with a God!

I grabbed my missed and started fusing it into one last attack to show the boy just who is superior.

--------------------

Ash

"Man I hope this works."

"It won't. Killing him is not possible for you right now." I hear a femine voice say.

"Huh who the?"

"Shes right kid. But with our help maybe you can at least stop him for a while."

At my sides two images appear. One I recognize as lighting the other I don't. It was a female kitsune with light blue hair and fur. She had an hour glass figure and made me har- Oh shit thats Ice isn't it? That is so wrong okay bad thoughts go away bad thoughts go away!

.........

Wait does she have nine fucking tails!?

"We will control our elements you focus on putting as much darkness as you can into the lance." Ice says.

I do as she says but lean over to Lighting. "Hey why didn't you guys tell me, female us is fucking hot as shit!?"

"You do know she can hear you right?" He says with a slight trace of fear in his voice.

I spin my head towards Ice and gulp."Whoops."

"Please focus on the situation and do not make me have to punish you two." Was all Ice said.

"Wait can she do that?" I ask lighting.

"Kid lets put it this way. If Darkness and I teamed up and had nine tails she would kick our asses nine days from Sunday. So if she say she will do something I would take her word." After Ice shoots him a glare he shuts up.

Lets just file that one next to don't piss off Ciar.

With both of them channeling their element and me channeling Darkness a power was shaping in the lance. Ice was shaping it and when I saw what she was up to I could only shiver in response.

However before we could complete our attack Abyss made his move. A huge spike of black mist shot out, slammed through my shield and impaled my chest.

"Oh....Fuck....Me...." I cough up a shit ton of blood.

"MASTER!" Ciar screams out.

"HAHAHAHA Goodbye boy!"

I look down at him and smile my Cheshire smile. "I thought I told you we haven't even said hello yet!"

I then threw the lance with everything I had. With the lighting element it shot out as fast as well lighting. It impacted Abyss and exploded in a black icy explosion.

The entire are was engulfed in Ice blacker than the night sky and the battle was done. The spike in my chest disapeared and I started falling toward the ice.

"Hello Mini-Dick, My name is Ash." I said.

Then I died.

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