《Lazy Ash》34.Noobs, Scum, and The job no one else can do.
Advertisement
Sorry for the late release stayed an extra day at my dads. Quick thanks to our proofreader MushGod174 and heres the next!
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Ash? Don't you think you should start training again? It has been 4 days and all you have done is force your school to graduate you early by blackmailing your principal, getting drunk with Garth, and playing video games. You've been ignoring your mom, the vampires, and the witches. Don't you want to be more than a waste in human society? Inari asks.
"Born.Waste.Must.Crush.Noobs." Is all I am able to reply at the moment. My focus was on the game in front of me. I was participating in an online tournament with my guild and the other team were full of douchebag little squeakers who aren't even old enough to buy the game. Hate those little bastards.
I hear another sigh from my ever present watchers. They were right in a way. I should be training but how could I? I am finally free! For the first time in my life I am not under anyone's thumb. I have my own kickass place with a much better setup than anything I had at home and all the gear mom destroyed was replaced or severely upgraded.
Despite what the girls are saying I haven't been exactly idle. With my new computer that even Tech would blow his load upon seeing the specs, I am constantly running searches for quite a few individuals. I am also hacking corrupt companies for people they have screwed over or just to refill my bank account. Of course the first thing I did was use it to get dirt on my vice principal and principal. School is such a pain in the ass plus I wasn't learning a damn thing anyway.
Also they really needed to cut back on the hookers anyway.
The drinking with Garth was honestly a surprise. While I technically considered him my only male friend to date minus the ones online who apparently doesn't count I didn't know what he thought about me. So I was surprised when he showed up in my new apartment.
"Nice place lad. How much did it cost ya?" Garth asks.
"Oh it cost an arm and a leg. Oh there was a ruptured spleen too." I replied with a smile.
Advertisement
He looked at me confused but eventually he shurged it off as weird kitsune humor.
He liked the place especially the bar. Although he said the liquor was too weak after we cleaned it out. So he set me up with a dwarf brewer. I got to admit dwarf alcohol is fucking awesome!
These past days were something I really needed. All the training, my mother, and all the girls were just too much. Thanks to my sync with darkness and lighting I am able to hold my ground more and can ignore most things now.
I know I will probably pay a pretty big price later but I have no intention of changing my current life style.
"Come around the corner you little bastard my sniper wants to meet your head.....That's it. BOOM! HEADSHOT YOU FUCKING SQUEAKER! Hell yea world's top ten bitches!" I start doing a little victory dance around my apartment but only a little one though since I am a modest person.
I hear another sigh from the room but choose to ignore it. The girls have tried everything from begging to downright threats of torture to get me to stop fucking around for the last few days. The only thing I relent is making food but then again a gamer needs fuel.
As I was shit talking the little bastards through my mic I heard an alarm going off on my computer.
"Hmmm."
I give the 10 year olds one last curse then head on over.
"Finally found you, you sick bastard!"
The person my computer just located was "The Trainer". The more I find out about the fucker the more pissed off I get. He traffics women from all over the globe and "trains" them to his pleasure. "The worst part is that he even takes toddlers to be raised at his base.. I have found reports where he purchased and trained newborns. He also takes peoples kids who are in debt to him. Lastly some parent actually sold their kids to him or even payed him to train them for themselves!
My anger when I found about all of this could barely be contained. If it weren't for Inari and Alita I would have probably slaughtered the entire underworld in the city looking for the scum.
Advertisement
Now I finally have a location so I wrap myself in shadows and put on my suit.
"Girls we have a date."
=================================================
"Come at me and you'll see. I'm more than what meets the eye." I am currently scanning the area on top of a warehouse in the south part of town. Out of boredom I'm singing one of the best songs of a character I love.
Alita and Inari are in their weapon forms because the second I see the bastard I am going all out. As I am staking the place out so far I haven't seen anyone. Except of course his training area. I scanned the area with x-ray and found it. I had to stop myself from charging in and killing all the fuckers in there despite what they are currently doing. If I don't take care of the boss this will just continue.
All of the sudden I get a whiff of something odd and I hear someone approaching me fast. I flip up just in time to dodge a pitch black sword.
I glare at the person who just tried to cut me in half.
"I don't think we've met Dready but you've picked the wrong night to fuck with me man."
The person in question was Dread Knight. I have no idea why he is here but I swear to goddess if he fucks this up.
"Interesting. I have seen the news and heard the rumors but to think you dodged that. I made almost no sound and hand no killing intent and yet you evaded. Not bad young one." D.Knight says.
"That's cute thinking you could one shot me but what the hell do you want pun intended?" I growl.
"My master informed me that one of his servants would receive some trouble tonight so I came to make sure that doesn't happen." He gives me a sinister smile.
"Ash kill him, He is an abomination! To think a human could fall so low. Betraying millions of humans for power and serving demons! Now he's protecting our target? He needs to be dealt with." Alita roars in my head.
Inari gave a firm agreement.
"You should've stayed away because now I have to put an end to you." I tell Dread Knight.
"Better men than you have tried my boy but I am immortal! This armor is powered by the amount of people I have killed. So unless you manage to kill me several million times I will just keep healing!" He cackled in response.
I turned Alita into bow form pulled an arrow and shot him while pulling on lighting so he has no chance to react. The force and power of one of Alita's arrows is about the same as a missile with the piercing power of a 50 cal sniper.
Dread Knight was startled. He brought up his shield but it was useless. All his power is demonic. And what counters demonic? Holy power!
The arrow shattered his shield and blew a hole in his chest. He fell and lay twitching on the ground. I walked up to him and looked down. The hole in his chest was healing already and would be done in a few minutes.
"Y-yo-you ar-are an angel?" He gasps.
"Not exactly. You know you are right. Maybe I can't kill you but I can't allow you to be free either so you are going to suffer for quite some time Dready. No hard feelings okay?"
I pull up my devouring flame and watch as his eyes widen.
"What are you?" I hear him whisper.
I don't answer and cover him in black flames. Then I encase him in an ice cylindrical prison and command the flames to eat him but not the ice. I sink the prison into my shadows and turn back to watching for the arrival of my target.
"After tonight it's just going to be noob crushing and drunk shenanigans for a while. All this serious crap is really annoying."
I feel disdain from the girls then I see a car pull up and smile.
"Tonight I am going to kill a lot of people aren't I girls?" I ask with a bit of worry in my voice.
"They deserve it Ash so don't let it get to you. Sometimes things can only end in someone's death." Inari comforts while Alita sends me the mental equivalent of a hug.
"Thanks girls."
I steel myself and get ready to do the job no one else can do.
Advertisement
The M.S. Fortune
John comes out of stasis aboard Starship Fortuna and is instantly made Captain by the bestest Simulated Intelligence in the Universe and then they live happily ever after, solving problems. Yeah. That’s totally what happens. Where are you going John? Why don’t you like my synopsis? I think it’s great and totally not full of lies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Written by Vitaly S Alexius (author of Romantically Apocalyptic) and Angry Spider (author of... various). Dark comedy! Fantastic Adventure! Space! Sexy robots! Please insert more descriptive keywords! Notice of interest:This book operates on a unique concept of "Reader Causality". Meaning - every review left on it incrementally impacts the story, adding in a new, minor twist to it. If you already left it a review - then you can impact the story by leaving comments beneath new chapters.
8 75P.A.L
Christopher Carthage is your prototypical video gaming shut-in. He has an "annoying" mother who enjoys being the center of attention, a prodigious little brother who is better than him at almost everything (minus gaming) and a psychotic former stepfather who believes that he and his brother are aliens. Oh, and recently Christopher made a new PAL. But is his PAL really a pal, or is she something far more sinister? Immerse yourself in this unique real-world LitRPG/GameLit adventure and help me to improve my writing along the way. :)
8 107Howard's Growth
In the not too distant future, the concrete of a new world has been laid to replace the dying Earth of old. In this world, one must provide value or perish in ignominy. Howard Manfield, like most pawns, fashions himself a king of his realm. Presiding over the corporatized dominion of genetic engineering, Howard was yet haunted by memories unknown to him. Awaking in a cold sweat to the dank smell of his own breath, his mind turning to the darkness from which it had emerged. In truth that was what he remembered most, it was more the substance of absence more than any meaningful presence on a color spectrum. It would not be until the first and last of his fated 'finding quests' that Howard Manfield would learn his place among his memories.
8 147Creativity Can Fix Things
Meet Alex.Alex is like anyone, really, he just didn't know.He is an artist, a musician, tried to paint, every one of his friends knows him for his drawings. Meet truck.Truck is like every other truck, and everyone knows what a good truck does. It sends people to a new fantasy world.That or the author is just imagining this whole story and creating things out of his butt. Point being, trucks send people to alternate dimensions. The caveat is that Alex is creative, didn't fit into society like everyone else, but, as he would say, he is 'defective'.When he finally figured it out and was ready to fix his shit he had the most gruesome encounter with Mr. Truck. And now we are here, enjoy it. --- Looking for an editor!!! I'm writing this in an attempt to put a comedic feeling into something many people go trough: finding their place, fitting into society, adjusting to responsibilities and facing their problems. It's not really "WOW, HE MADE SOMETHING NEW!", but is more like "Heh, look at dumb ass doing shit... Oh... Hey, I do that too!" So feel free to read at your own risk. Don't know if it will be sporadic, regular or what. For now, it's a creative spur that needed a valve to release and. Here. We. Are.
8 65Dragon Shifter
A young princess is capable of changing form from human to dragon. She soon finds she's not the only one after making either the best decision or the worst mistake of her life, changing her world forever. Of course, world-changers can't complete their (sometimes accidental) task without the help of a few (hopefully) trustworthy friends.
8 379Pathogen: Chrysalis of Monsters
An unknown pathogen has spread and everyone is currently infected by the inactive form of the pathogen.Activated pathogens are prone to various mutations, creating zombies and even monsters that are not supposed to exist in this world.
8 151