《Lazy Ash》33.Prayer,Guards, and The things a man has got to do.
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So a few things. First off some of you may have noticed that I changed the title for prologue 2 mainly just wiping the whole prologue thing. Honestly it wasn't a good spot or even much of a prologue. So I guess you can still consider this arc one until I find a better chapter to call the start of arc 2. I probably wont even do a prologue again. Just more of a continue where I left off with a bit of a jump maybe. Anyway if there is a good chapter already out maybe I can call it from there but its not that important really. If you guys have an idea let me know.
Next I feel like screwing with you guys so I will let you know something. I have something else on here but its up to you to find it.
Finally I would like to thank our proofreader again as he made this chapter better with his ideas and fixing my mistakes.
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Tim Falls SR.
After getting off the phone with my son all I can really do is sigh. The little brat is always causing problems. First he started blackmailing me when I was trying to teach him the lessons of manhood, then he became a good for nothing lazy shit, and now there's this.
"Damnit son I respect your decision but you are putting me in a hell of a position.*sigh*"
I look over at my wife and wonder.
"How the fuck do I tell her without dying?"
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Ash
I get off the phone with dad and shoot a quick prayer to Rhea.
"Please don't let my mom kill my dad."
"You know that sounded almost completely sincere?" Alita says with an amused look.
"Oh it was. There is a good chance I may have to attend a funeral." I tell her seriously.
Both the girls took on a look of pity. Sorry pops but Man lesson number 14. Sometimes you got to take one for the team. Even if she looks like Jabba.
"But are you seriously moving out? I mean you aren't exactly cut out for work. Not to mention all the responsibilities that comes with living on your own. Unless you plan to live with one of those skanks or some loser you have been sleeping with" Inari asks.
"First off they are not skanks. Secondly who the hell said anything about work and responsibility!? Did you two forget who you two are dealing with?"
Both of them looked at me in confusion. Hearing no answer I continue.
"I decided to get back to my roots. I mean by blood I am a thief right? Plus all those skills are just itching to be of use. So my plan is simple, I will steal a home."
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I smile at the girls. My plan is perfect for me. All I have to do is boot some asshole from his nice place, take all his money, and boom very little action for a big reward.
"You do realize you are technically part of a hero team and that stealing may cause problems with that right?" Alita says.
"Meh."
"Meh? That's your answer to her question!? Do you not understand our current situation!? You just kicked the crap out of two kitsune princesses! We may need the help of the team to deal with what's coming and did you forget we still have those fucking vampires to deal with!? We can't go fucking things up nowbecause of your mommy issues!" Inari yells
"*sigh* Look, I'm not a hero plain and simple. It is a job and I despise work. If I help out it's because I am either A. Bored or B. really bored. The kitsune as far as I can tell aren't much of a problem. They seem to want to keep this balance behind the veil thing. The vampires are a bit of a joke at this point. I mean Cir and Angelica can't even touch me when I use my elements or holy power. And that's when they are working together. Also I never said anything about screwing up my position with that team. I still have yet to get into Karzi's pants and Garth is probably my only male friend. Now who is up for kicking the shit out of a drug dealer?"
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A few hours later I am standing in an amazing apartment. Nice furniture, a bitchin 80inch tv, a pool, and a Jacuzzi. It had a fully stocked up to date kitchen and bathroom with a bath that matched the Jacuzzi outside. All in all it is a pretty dope place.
"Once I clean out all the bloodstains this place will be perfect don't you guys think?"
I turn toward the bleeding guards and the previous owner of the apartment. They all let out groans that I take as an agreement. Well except for the boss he's dead. He had a particularly nasty hobby. He liked to get girls addicted to drugs and when they couldn't pay anymore he would have them pay him with their bodies. When they wouldn't do that he would hold them down shoot them up with drugs and rape them. Once they were heavily pregnant and highly addicted to the drugs at the point where their minds were gone he would give them back to their family broken.
So yea I killed him and all of his lieutenants. None of those bastards deserved to live. When I told Alita and Inari all of this they wanted to skin the assholes themselves. The guards I left alive because they were just guards. My soul sight showed me their sin count and it wasn't that bad. None of them participated in the horror as far as I could tell. To be safe I did my angel (Jedi) mind trick. There were some that did participate but they weren't here at the moment since they were part of the day shift. But that's fine I will welcome them in time. Doing this also raised my darkness by one percent but this whole attitude change is starting to worry me a bit.
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"Now who wants to work for me? Your pay will be better and I offer dental."
A few of the guards look at their dead boss and his friends. Then one makes it to his feet. I recognize him since he took more than a few of my hits. He is definitely an enhanced at the advanced level in strength and endurance at the very least. If he had any abilities he'd probably make a decent super. But as a bodyguard he is perfect.
"Are you serious kid? You just killed our boss and now you want us to work for you?" He asks.
"Of course! Although I will have to reject some of you due to some things you have done but most of you? Yea, no problem. Your jobs will pretty much be the same except you won't know who I am because I will erase my identity from your minds. You will only remember that Rogue killed your boss and told you that I am your new boss. So who is up for it?"
"Are you going to be another shitty crook?" The bodyguard asks.
"Well I am not going to sell drugs, rape women, or kill innocents if that’s what you mean."
"What about stealing and killing as a whole."
I smile. This guy is smart. "Yes I will probably steal from time to time as for killing let's just say they most likely deserved it."
He looks at me for a while then nods. "We are in."
"Great!"
After that I change and get rid of the not so great guards. All the guards I kept were surprised at how young I was. After that I wiped their minds of any key parts and had them let me know when the day shift arrived. Then I had them guard the hall and elevators as I needed to clean up the apartment. They offered to get rid of the bodies but I just waved them off. They were wondering how a 17 year old kid was going to get rid of the bodies. I just told them Rogue was going to help. They shrugged and went to their positions.
I cleaned up the blood and bodies with my Devouring flame. It makes the whole thing so much easier. I also burned away all the sheets, the bed (after a quick sniff), and the drugs hidden throughout the place. After which I spent hours on Amazon buying back all my stuff. I found a secret safe and used my flame on the door. Inside were a few hundred grand and some documents on the former owner's competition. I will have to look into that especially this one about "The Trainer" who specializes in breaking and selling women. Even without my duty to help women from Rhea I would pay this guy a visit.
I grabbed a fresh pillow and sat down on the couch, turned on the tv, and started to just chill with a nice glass of bourbon. Oh did I mention there was a fully stocked bar!? My lighting side lit up with delight at the sight of it.
"Ash we are hungry". I hear Alita say
"You are an Arch Angel who is Tens of thousands years old you don't get hungry. Inari is an immortal kitsune who can literally eat nothing for years to come. Neither of you get hungry". I shoot back at them.
"Ash we have been eating really damn well at your mothers and don't wish to stop now. So either move your ass and make us some food or we will call your mother while you sleep and tell her where you are". Inari threatens
"Pshh like she could get through my guards."
"She is an ex-master thief who has superpowers". She reminds me.
Shit....."Are you two telling me that in all your years neither one of you learned how to cook?"
They looked embarrassed and looked away.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me!? Goddess damnit! At your freaking age I'd be the damn god of cooking!"
"Well I have always either payed or had servants make my food". Inari says selfishly.
"And I have always summoned my food or took offerings". Alita replies.
"For tens of thousands years!!!!????"I shout.
They don't look me in the eye. Son of a bitch! These two are useless! I feel sorry for the poor bastard who-.....Nope I would probably kill him.
I look at the two and head into the kitchen. I was going to make something eventually anyway. They both brighten at the sight and watch me cook.
The things a man has got to do. The things a man has got to do.
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