《Lazy Ash》28.Chair,Fight,and At least I didn't pass out.
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Sorry for no weekend release but it was mothers day weekend so I spent it with my moms.Anyway heres the next one enjoy!
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"You know you look like an ass right?"Lesley chides me through my ear piece.
"Kinda the point."I reply
The reason she says this is because I am currently sitting in a Lazy boy,with an umbrella over me to block the sun,and currently playing the new kh game on my phone.All while sitting in the middle of a graveyard.Which is the current battleground of choice.
*slurp*"Ah"I take a drink from the long straw connected to my favorite gaming mug.Its and old one from 7-11 back when the old x-men movies came out and they were limited ones.Its filled with orange monster instead of coffee or a fountain drink.To my right within reach is a plate of pizza rolls.I pop one into my mouth and start working on getting lux.Im only 209 and I really want to hit 250 soon.
"Ash honey were did you get the chair?"I hear mom as over the coms.
"I stole it from Abc why?"
"Well why this setup?I mean all of us can't help but agree that you kinda look like an ass.Plus this brings up bad memories of you spending weeks in your room and not even seeing daylight.Please don't go back!"She pleads
"Why?Well I needed a good chair for my room.Also no promises."
"So is this why you were late?You put yourself in danger just to get some chair?"I hear Angelica say disapprovingly.
"Some chair!?They say men don't understand women!Do you know how important a chair is to a man!It is not a choice we make lightly!There are several factors when choosing a chair.Is comfortable,is it right for the situation it will be used for,will I be willing to die in it,there are many more things.You see girls a chair is one of mans three thrones in life.We have our cars,we have our toilets and we have our chairs!They are an important part of our life and no man is happy without his chair!"I lecture all of them through the coms.
I was met with silence,but I swear I could feel some hurtful gazes.Inari and Alita both had some pretty hurtful looks.You know what screw you guys!Women will just never understand a mans worries.
You know I may need to look into spending some man time with dad and Uncle Tom I have way too many women around me.
It's been roughly and hour past the meet time for War's little meeting and I showed up here half an hour ago.Even though I was supposed to be an hour early...But a chair search can not be rushed and man is this chair awesome!
"Alright I guess it's time to show the bitch where I am.Everyone get ready."I tell everyone through the coms.
There was a collective sound of acknowledgements and 1 watch your mouth.Moms...I then point a hand toward the air and let off a few fox fire blasts.After less than two minutes War slams down in front of me.
"You really aren't as bright as that girl says you know?I mean first you decide to reject me,then you give away your hiding spot,and then it turns out you are sitting here in a graveyard looking like an ass.So what want me to bury when I end you?"War taunts.
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"Hold on I really need to beat this lv 57 guard armor."
She frowns and a vein starts to throb on her head."Is this a joke to you!?I am going to give you one last chance come with me or else!"
I finish the raid boss and drop all my stuff into the shadows.Then I stand up and smile at her."You know you are kind of a bitch right?"
Her eyes narrow."Is that your answer?"She asks darkly
"Girls."
"Right,but remember you only have a few minutes make this count Ash and please dont die."Alita and Inari say.Then they give me a hug and disappear.
Almost immediately I can feel the power coming through me.I stare at War."No this is."
In the next instant im slamming my fist into her face flooring all my powers and slamming her with as much lighting energy as I can.She rockets away and crashes into a mausoleum.She burst out and looks at me shock and anger acrossed her face.
"So you are stronger than I thought but you just made the last mistake you will ever make!"She roars.
She shoots toward me at lighting speed probably hoping to show her superiority.However To me it looks like a slow crawl with all my new enhancements and with the boost from the girls her speed ain't shit in my eyes.
I dodge her punch with ease then proceed to hammer her with attack fused with black flame making sure to cover her whole body in the flame.I then finish with a spartan kick that sends her flying.Then make the flame start eating at full power.
"Ha bitch you are fucked!"Maybe my plans weren't necessary after all?I sit there watching flame devour her but then frown.Why is there no screaming?Normally there is alot of screaming.Then here body starts to get up I see her hands clench and she roars to the sky.
I put my hand over my ears as my fox ear are sensitive as shit.Next thing I know all the fire on her body explodes off her.I look at her in shock.There is no damage.
"Impossible!"
The devouring flame is supposed to be able to kill even gods and you are telling me she isn't even hurt!?
She see my shock and smirks."Did you really think the devouring flame from a two tail would do anything against me?Maybe if you had at least 6 tails but not now.I have killed gods!Your speed is impressive but thats all and if im right you can't keep it up for long.Although you may have more tricks so I guess I should step it up a notch.Be glad I haven't used my full speed in years."
She disappears and launches a roundhouse kick towards my head from behind me.Oh shit!I barely manage to dodge it but hear a small explosion to my right.I turn and look and there's a crater 1 meter deep.Holy shit did she do that just from the air pressure!?I pale at how close she just came to splattering my head ten miles in that direction.
"Hmm?You dodged?It seems you have a bit more than I thought maybe I can warm up with this."She looks at me and smirks.
Ok time for plan A since B failed.Generally it would work the opposite but A was the original plan soo...I pull up my shadows and reach inside and pull out my trump card.
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Wars smirk drops from her face and she gets a dangerous look in her eyes."You have some dangerous toys boy.I don't know how you came across the lance of Longinus but now you have my undivided attention."
I can feel killing intent radiate off her and almost piss my pants.Dear goddess this bitch is scary as fuck!
I get in a stance and then spread lighting and holy power throughout my body at full power.Then I rush her.I start thrusting forward each of my attacks leaving after images but she dodges all of them.However she is on the defensive it seems she is wary of my weapon.
I smile I may actually win this!I continue to strike out at her with masterfull precision.Every one of my attacks akin to a master of this weapon.Most of my attacks are just simple thrusts and side swipes.I jump in the air above her and rain down hundreds of attacks in a split second destroying the ground with each attack.She manages to barely dodge all of these and I can tell she is getting used to my attacks as I can't even graze her now.Even though she is covered in cuts she looks at me calmly.
Then I change it up and sweep the lance, using it long a really long sword grabbing the base and swinging it up in an arc.Normally this would just be a regular attack but this attack was with holy power infused into the lance.The lance let out a slash that cut through the air and let loose a blade of energy.Shock shot across War's face she thought it would be easy to dodge but was gravely mistaken.Not anticipating the strike she blocked it her arm.The strike went through her arm severing it and made a huge slash from shoulder to hip.Blood splashed out everywhere and she flew across the area.
I was overjoyed.I looked at the are she landed and started heading that way to finish her off but freeze in my steps.The aura from that direction just reached a level I have never felt before.It was threating to make me cower on my knees.Then I heard laughter.
"Boy you really are a surprise its too bad I couldn't have you as my pawn."War walks out of her crater and leisurely strides toward her arm.I can't move its like im frozen in place.What the hell is going on!?
She reaches her arm picks it up and places it against her bleeding stump and lets go.Just like that in a split second its reattached.She then turns toward me."Well I guess I should get serious now that was dangerous just then."She smile and I feel the air start to distort.
In an explosion of pure power im sent flying.I slam into a gravestone that somehow doesn't shatter.I look at it. obsidian huh not bad.Then cough up a mouthful of blood.I look at the direction War at and fear grips my heart.
Both her eyes have taken on a golden luster and are shining with murder.Her body was't wrapped in a golden energy and on her back was a pair of wings similar to a locusts.Lastly in her hands was a sword made out of golden energy.
The feeling she gave off was that of a god!Her aura and power was similar to what I felt when I was attacked by Laverna it was bottomless a being of pure and absolute power.
What the fuck was I thinking taking on this person?Shes on a whole other level!My goddess this is just insane!
Seeing my look War laughs."Scared boy?You see this is real power!something you will never achieve.Now die!"
She is infront of me instantly.I couldn't sense her or see her move she was there then here simple as that.She swings her blade at me and I throw up a shield with everything I have I put all my power every bit of holy power,lighting,and Ice into reinforcing the shield.Her blade slams into it and my body shoots downwards.With a causal swing she made a 3 meter deep crater with me as the center.I blocked it but now I can't move.My organs are heavily damaged most of my bones are fractured and one of my eyes have gone dark.I could feel something warm all over my body which im pretty sure is blood.I hear all the girls over the coms scream for me but I can't answer them as im staring right into the eyes of War.
"Impressive you managed to block one attack.Your potiential was limitless but you just couldn't toe the line.So any last words?"War says.
"Now..."I manage
War raises an eye but then her eyes widen.Pure white chains shoot from all around and wrap around her pulling her back.Then my blood shoots from my body and wraps around her as well fusing with the chains.Blood red spike shoot out and slam into the links of chains pinning them in place.
"So you had help?Thats fine I will deal with them after you."Then War tries to break free.She struggles for a few moments.But the chains wont budge.
I smile and painfully manage to stand.I pick my lance and slowly make my way toward her."The chains are powered by all the pissed off souls who just had their resting place smashed to shit.You are strong but not even a god can deal with this many angry souls fuel with a spell easily.Also the blood magic is all virgin blood one of the strongest there is.My blood is apparently better which is why it was used to help the bindings a little but I can't bleed that much ya know?"She looks at me hate in her eyes.
"No matter I will be free soon and then you will fall.Even with the lance you won't be able to kill me this is just delaying the inevitable."She spits out in disgust.
"The plan was never for me to kill you.Don't get me wrong I really want to but now I know thats just not possible.I mean I can't even stand really.So swinging this lance is out of the question.But I am a kitsune and we always have a trick up our sleeve."I smile at her
At that moment all the girls appear at the edge of the crater."Stay there!"I yell at them.
All of them especially mom give me a worried look.But listen.War looks at the group of people and smirks.
"Are these your last trick?None of them can help you I mean I bet this spell is taking all the witches have and two vampires and two thiefs couldn't hurt me.hahahaha nice try kid but this is my win.Although kudos on getting so many women to help you to bad they are just going to die in a few minutes."
I look back at them she is right.Clare and Sam were giving it their all to hold her.Angelica and the Fail Maid were only supposed to get the blood.While mom and Lesley were to steal any supplies needed for the spells.None of them were really supposed to fight.
I look at War and smile."Your right they won't be helping in taking you down the last step.Thats for a special lady."
She looks at me and smirks."Please there is no one on this planet that can help you."
"Its a good thing shes not from this planet."I give her my best cheshire grin although it hurts like hell.
She looks at me in confusion as she can't think of anyone that I could call that would be a threat to her.Even the girls can't figure out what I have planned they always thought the plan was to kill her when she was trapped.I however made a different plan although its a bit of a gamble.
"Hey Rhea I know you said not to call on you like this to much but this time I got a present you might like."I call out loud.
Mom and Lesley look confused."Who is Rhea?"They ask.
The others though know exactly who im calling and fear crosses their faces even Wars.
"You are calling a god!?Are you insane!?"War shouts at me.
"Goddess and probably."I retort
"Rogue dealing with the gods is never a good idea.This may be a really bad idea." Clare says nervously
The others nod while mom and Lesley still look confused.
"Ah this ones cool and hot as hell."They all look at me as if I was insane
"Why thank you for the compliment dear.So what is the present you spoke of?Remember being to cheap is not good."
I turn and see Rhea who has a smile on her face.
"Whats up my goddess still as hot as ever I see."All the women there look at me in horror and a little bit of anger.Opps probably shouldn't hit on another woman in front of them.
Then I point at War."Thats your present all gift wrapped and everything."
Rhea turns and looks at War.Almost immediately her expression darkens and is filled with wrath.Then she turns to me hate,anger, and murder visible on her face.Oh shit.
"Did you do this!?"She orders and I feel a power that makes want to run over and hide behind my mother.Its stronger than Wars but not by much.
I gulp and nod.Sweat dripping in bullets.I think I might have fucked u-
All of a sudden she grabs the back of my head, puts her arm around my waist, and puts her tongue down my throat.I was surprised at the sudden turn of events but I most definitely am not complaining.She pulled back from the kiss with tears in her eyes.
Ok now Im really confused.
Seeing my confusion she starts to explain."You have no idea how great a gift this is to me!This bitch is responsible for the death of my son!
War pales at the sound of that an start thrashing she knows she is fucked.
Rhea turns toward her and start walking."Remember the gods you killed back when Anubis started his crap?Well one of them happened to be my son Atrus!He was only 341 years old and was here vacationing.Anubis was a friend so when he asked for help of course my son would help.But you you power hungry bitch!You slaughtered him and absorbed his power!I can't even find his soul because of you!But you dare use his wings in front of me!I dont care who your father is im going to enjoy my time with you!"
Rheas words sent a shiver down my spine.I have never felt such hate for someone.And absorbed?Thats why she is so strong!Her powers must be based around absorbing the strength from people she kills!The fact that she killed Rheas son was an unfortunate bonus but hey I guess it works plus I got one hell of a kiss so meh.
"Thank you Ash I wont forget this.But you still owe me that favor and oh I will be taking the lance as well.Sorry but a weapon that can hurt gods cannot be in the hands of someone who deals with us.We shall see each other soon."Then in a flash both her and War are gone but not before she got off one last sentence.
"Ash huh I will remember that!I will come back and when I do I will kill your whole family!!!"War screams
Shit!Lost my lance!Now where am I going to get a super powerful weapon that can kick the ass of overpowered individuals?Oh well one problem at a time.
"So can we go home now?My body hurts like hell."All the girls look at me in shock
"You have a connection to the goddess of women!?"Sam yells
I just nod."Look im really fucked up so can we skip-
Ah fuck.Not again.I finally come down from the boost and vomit alot of blood.Then collapse.The girls rush to me screaming for me.Why don't I block out the pain?Man im a dumbass.With no more pain mom and Lesley help me to the car and everyone makes promises to talk later.I just want a week long nap.
At least I didn't pass out.
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