Author’s corner: HELLO HELLO! Finally, the day has come for our beloved golem to[WARNING, MAJOR 4TH WALL BREAK DETECTED, CAUTION ADVISED.]... That’s not good…

ANYWAY, so, you guys lucked out today because one of my teachers didn’t come today and I had time to finish today’s chapter, albeit VERY late…. Sorry…

ALSO, Today I’m in a very good mood, because I just defeated my very first Gold Rajang in MH! (pops confetti) For those wondering, it’s kind of like fighting Goku SS. He’s a large monkey with golden hair that punches the heck out of you and have an attack that involves a large energy beam that pretty much one-shots you! ^^ Just some random rant about MH, don’t mind me.

ALSO(2), I really need to stop procrastinating the update on the races list…

Have a good read!

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I was laughing loudly while we fell down because the girls reaction were just amazing. Han instinctively held herself against me, her fingers digging into my skin. Meanwhile, Yuu looked nervous, but she was still trying to position herself in a way that she could soften her landing.

Nothing less than the expected for a martial artist, keeping her cool-head even in such a dangerous situation.

“WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?” Han asked me surprised as she stared at me with fear in her eyes.

“Surprising you, of course!” I said in a matter of fact.

“SURPRISING US WITH OUR DEATHS?”

“Nah… You are too nervous, it’s not like I would have jumped without a way to stop our fall, you know?” When I said this, I felt as both of them looked surprised at me.

“THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? DO IT ALREADY!”

(WARNING, MAJOR FOURTH WALL BREACH AHEAD. THE STORY MAY HAVE BEEN CONTAMINED WITH IDIOTIC JOKEs THAT MAY BE HARMFUL FOR YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH. FOR THOSE OF YOU, WHO WISHES TO PRESERVE THEIR MENTAL CONDITIONS, PLEASE SKIP TOWARDS THE NEXT CAPITAL LETTERS. YOU WILL NOT LOSE ANY PLOT BY DOING THIS.)

“Geez, calm down. There’s no need to get nervous, if we keep it like this we will have all the time in the world.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hmm… I might have to break the fourth wall for this…” I said after some though. For a moment, Han looked a bit confused, but then she became clearly surprised. I ignored her expressions and decided to explain my logic anyway. “Say, have you ever heard of the Laws of physics, comedy edition?” The girls blinked surprised and looed confused at me.

“I fear I have never heard of it, Shishou…” Yuu said above the sound of wind on my ears, some slight signs of sadness in her voice.

“No need to be sad…” I said while lightly petting her. “Anyway, that is basically a rewriting of the laws of physics when it comes to stories based around comedy.” I explained putting on my best teacher tone.

“Wait, how does that even works?” Han asked surprised.

I readied myself to answer for her, but someone was a bit faster than me.

“Nyaa-na, nya, nany-nyaaa. Naaa-nyyyy nyanana. Naynaa nyaa!”

“Wow, couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks for the help, Lieutenant!” I thanked him, and received a thumbs-up, or something like that, in response. I saw the girls nodding as they accepted his perfectly logical explanation. Does he have a PhD in that area or something? “Anyway, if you go to the free-fall section of the law, you will see that it’s stated there: During a free fall, as long as the characters reactions slash interactions are based around the idea of being funny, the free-fall duration shall be extended as needed without any kind of detrimental effect.”

“I understand… I think…” Hanbei said with her face slightly confused.

“Wait, Shishou, then isn’t the explanation a serious part? Does that means we aren’t getting an extension right now?” Yuu asked nervously, but I simply laughed.

“That is an excellent question, my disciple, but no need to worry.” I said with a proud expression, petting her as a reward. “You see, although for us this scene does have some seriousness, for the readers it’s so absurd that it counts as a funny scene, thus we get our extension!”

“I see… But isn’t it dangerous to keep saying things like the readers and such?” Hanbei asked confused.

“Well, if it’s dangerous or not, I don’t know, but since it’s the author’s fault all of this is happening, then all the blame falls on him!” I answered in a good mood.

It’s rare for me to have the chance to fool around without needing to worry about the consequences, so I might as well as take as much advantage of this as I can!

“I see… But this fall is already taking too long… Can we just end this already?” Hanbei asked, and I nodded in response.

(DISCLAIMER: THE FOURTH WALL LEAK HAS BEEN PATCHED UP, IT’S SAFE TO CONTINUE FROM THIS PART ON. ANY SCENE THAT MAY HAVE HAPPENED DURING THE LEAK CAN BE IGNORED.)

I picked up the vial I had in my hand and threw it toward the ground. The three girls looked confused at my actions, but when the thick foam started to form in the ground beneath us, they became wide eyed in surprise.

The foam softened our fall like a huge and extra fluffy couch, making us completely stop around half a meter before the ground. After a couple other seconds it slowly dissolved until there was nothing left of it. Hanbei started to kneel on the ground as if trying to hug it while Yuu started to hit me repeatedly with her fists, but her lack of strength only made the scene even cuter.

As I laughed away, my eyes drifted upwards, and I caught a glimpse of something blue coming from the floor we were before. Squinting my eyes, I caught sight of Sol looking downwards towards us, with her hand extended in my direction in a thumbs-up. Lieutenant and me answered with our own thumbs-up before she turned away and walked back to her shop.

Feeling something strange on my finger, I turned to see Aura trying to bite it angrily, but all she did was to make it slightly itchy. I laughed as I picked her up and started to pet her. At first she tried to resist, but soon enough she was already completely relaxed in my arms enjoying it.

Suddenly I felt someone grabbing my neck and swinging my head back and forth angrily.

“NEVER DO IT AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME?” Hanbei said angrily as she tried to strangle me.

“I… *wheeze* Promise… *Wheeze*” She let go of my neck when she heard that. “…nothing!”

Before she could go back to my neck I had already used my roll skill and ran away from her while laughing.

It took her around five minutes of throwing flying vacuum slashes at me for her to finally calm down. Instead of the fall, I almost died to the psycho cat-girl who wanted my head. Well, at least I think she will start thinking twice before messing with me again.

Finally, we started going on our way towards my class. From the map that Goulder gave me, I would have to head south from the city, cross a field of rolling hills, a river and finally arrive an evergreen forest where I would find the instructor.

The field was directly at the feet of the mountain, so we only needed to walk a bit to get to it. It was the habitat of a few level ten aggressive wild boars, but those guys were nothing compared to the red tails, and we quickly took care of them with me tanking and the girls going at it.

There was this one time when one of the boars passed a bit too close to Lieutenant and Aura and got a bit of dirt in their clothes. Aura almost went berserk, but in the end, she managed to coerce lieutenant to go on the offensive for her. Not that he needed much incentive since he also was pretty mad.

He stopped the three of us and took the boar on his own, and after a fairly long fight, he finally managed to take it down, but not without hurting himself. I gave him a potion as a present and promised to make him a medal for taking down an enemy on his own.

His eyes started shining, and next thing I knew he was already running after the next boar. There was even this one time he went all ‘rodeo’ on one of them. It was hilarious. I might just make him a cowboy clothing later on, if he keeps this up.

By the time we crossed the field, Lieutenant reached level twelve and I was 2% from dinging 15, we reached the said river. It marked the starting of the climb towards the next mountain. Nevertheless, since Eldor was, by far, the biggest mountain in the whole range, it kind of looked like more a big hill than anything. From where we were, we could barely see the start of the woods ahead.

We decided to make a camp near the river and enjoy our lunch there and then. But since the field was a bit poor on the whole wood thing, we used a bit of Yuu’s fire magic to start cooking.

As soon as she lit up the fire, a water ball came from the direction of the river and put it out. We blinked surprised and turned towards the river to see what had happened, but we saw nothing. Yuu once again lit up the fire, but the water-ball once again came from the river and put it out, but this time we were watching everything carefully, and caught sight of the harasser.

It was some kind of silver-scaled fish that jumped out of the water and shot the magic at us. Deciding to have a decent lunch, no matter what, I put myself in front of Yuu as she lit up the fire and blocked the fish’s attacks.

I grinned at it, but the little bastard simply jumped and shot the water-ball upwards. By the time I understood what it was doing, the water-ball fell right atop of the fire, putting it out once again.

Since when does fishes knows ballistics?

Angry at having our lunch delayed, me and Lieutenant walked towards the fish and jumped in the water to get him.

Three minutes later, we got out while shivering in cold and bruised by the water-balls impacts. Moving around in the water is a lot harder than in the ground, so we couldn’t even get close to the bastard while he swan circles around us. Literally.

Deciding to change our tactics, I took out my bow and started shooting it at the fish, but physics are completely brutal. Thanks to diffraction, even if the arrow still kept some of it’s power even after hitting the water surface, I couldn’t get a good grasp of his actual position.

Once again, I walked back to the camp defeated and hungry. I could always eat a piece of ore, but I felt that it would be unfair with the girls if I left them hungry alone, so I decided to share their predicament.

“Hmm… When Shishou gets that fish, I’ll make sushi out of him!” Yuu said angrily.

“Sushi? You know how to make Sushi?” I asked with my curiosity perked up.

“Hmm… I learned it in class, why?” Yuu asked curious.

“I like sushi…” I said in a bit of a trance.

I made Yuu and Aura confirm whether they had the ingredients to make the sushi, and after Yuu confirming that, although a bit lacking, she could somehow make it, I felt all of my energy coming back to me as my resolve to get that scaly bastard was renewed.

But how can I get him if I can’t even reach him? He keeps swimming through the water so fast that I don’t even know his status! I would need some kind of wide area attack or something...

A wicked smile appeared in my face as something came to me. I quickly checked my inventory and saw how much material I had. Noticing that I was a bit lacking, I quickly took away towards a nearby rocky formation and started to search for mining spots.

Ten minutes later I came back to the camp receiving Hanbeis curious gaze. Yuu seemed to understand what my idea was when I set down the crystals in the ground and started to break them.

Three minutes later, I walked towards the river, laughing madly while carrying a few leather balls in my hands. The fish spun once in the water and jumped up while shooting a water ball on my face.

-12 (448/460)

It hurts. But my revenge is near.

I picked one of the balls and threw it in the river, then I threw another, and another. In the end, there were five leather balls sinking slowly in the river. The fish looked at them curiously for a moment, but since they didn’t do anything, it decided to ignore them and tried to shoot at me again.

MUAHAHAH! YOU FOOL! YOU SHALL NOW SUFFER THE FURY OF GONDORRER FISHBANE!

The first ball activated and a strong electrical current discharged in the river, shocking the fish. And just as when he thought it was over, the other balls started activating in a rapid sequence until he was unable to move and only floated in the water surface. I sent Lieutenant to recover the balls and I approached the fish.

Silver-fin shooter [lvl 12](RARE)

(aggressive)HP: 563/600

-Water-ball

-Whirlpool

-Water barrageA rare fish known for hating fire. It’s meat is said to be extremely tasty, even when consumed raw.

I smiled at his description. Seems like we just hit jackpot here! Now that I see him closely, he’s actually quite big! Probably around the size of my torso.

I grabbed the bugger by the tail and threw him towards the ground, where lieutenant and I proceeded to pummel him to our hearts content as he feebly tried to shoot at us with water balls. When one of his water barrage attacks hit me, I became furious and finalized him with a German-Suplex.

By the way, I earned the pummel skill and my martial arts grew to level 4!

After that, Lieutenant crouched down beside me and started hitting the ground with his paws while meowing. After ten meows he climbed my shoulder and pulled my arm upwards.

Do I get a champion belt?

The girls were looking a bit shocked at Lieutenant and me, probably a bit shocked by the scene. But in the end, Hanbei started laughing while hitting the ground, Yuu started giggling and Aura simply shook her head while face-palming.

After that I left the cooking to Yuu and Aura, since I had no idea on how to proceed from here. I was a bit afraid that the two would start duking it out while cooking, but my worries were unfounded as the surprisingly got along well.

A few minutes later and we were sitting around an ice-table with many pieces of sushi served. The lack of soy sauce was a bit disheartening, and there was an obvious lack of something with the rice, but the fish more than made up for it.

“Couldn’t Yuu-chan have frozen the fish instead of you needing to do all that?” Hanbei asked after we finished.

The revelation made Lieutenant and me stand in shock before falling on our knees. Aura proceeded to gently pat us in the shoulders in order to console us. Yuu simply smiled a bit awkwardly.

Afterwards, we had Yuu freeze the river’s surface so we could cross it easily without needing to cross a bridge. Not that we couldn’t swim through since the river was only around fifteen meters wide, but the girls chose to avoid getting wet for no apparent reason.

Around ten minutes of walking and we started to reach the woods area. Compared to the red-tail forest, it wasn’t as packed and there were a lot more of tall bushes around. It actually looked like a pretty good place to build an isolated cabin or something.

As we walked around looking for the place indicated in the map, we heard a squeak coming from one of the trees, and as we looked up, we saw something that looked like a large mix of a wolf with a flying squirrel.

He was jumping towards us while gliding his way down. We were a bit shocked for a moment, but with a bark from aura we quickly jumped away just in time as he fell to the ground missing his bite.

We quickly started attacking him and took him down in around twenty seconds, but right before he died, he squeaked… Or howled… I’m not sure what it was to tell the truth. Whatever it was, it was loud.

We weren’t sure what that meant, but simply ignored it and started looting it. But right as the girls started to check on the drops, we heard another one of these squeak slash howls, and soon a lot more followed. Before we noticed, there were around thirteen of these guys flying in our direction.

I quickly shared a look with the girls while smiling. I noticed that Han-chan shared the same smile as mine.

“So… We run?”

“Nope. We won’t run.” I said in a firm tone, making the whole group tense up. “We are advancing in the opposite direction.”

Then I turned and started advancing in the opposite direction at high speed. The girls quickly followed me.

“What should we do, Shishou?” Yuu asked a bit worried while looking backwards.

“My dear pupil. In situations like these we usually use some kind of mass CC and take them down one by one. If we had a healer I’m sure we could take them, but…”

“I’m with him this time, but I don’t think we have enough crowd control to apply to all of them.”

I nodded in accordance, but as we kept running, I noticed a small valley in the woods, as an idea appeared in my mind I guided us towards it by jumping down the hill. The girls quickly followed me without questioning and soon we were all gathered with the squirrel/wolf thingies jumping upwards.

“Don’t fail me now, monster hunter…” I murmured under my breath. “Lieutenant, Flash them!”

Not even wasting a single moment I saw him running forward and activating the flash-bomb a meter away from the nearest beast.

The beasts closed their eyes in pain and recoiled their heads, messing up their gliding form and making them fall like ripe acorns to the ground before rolling downhill. The girl’s eyes widened when they saw what happened. We had a perfect straight line of blinded enemies to slaughter.

After that, with Yuu’s fire serpent, Han’s penetrating ranged slices and my piercing shots their numbers disappeared quickly and I dinged fifteen! Hooray!

Hmm, now MND have the same base points as my VIT, so maybe it’s time to increase TGH for some extra armor? Or keep up with the MND and VIT?

I’ll decided when I ding again.

We quickly divided the bodies and I started to quickly skin the thingies, getting myself some surprisingly flexible leather. I also remembered to take the bones with me this time!

Yuu was already used to it, but Hanbei was clearly disturbed on seeing the whole scene. I made sure to put up my best lunatic smile as I worked on it just to fool with her.

When I finally finished, we were surprised to notice that we had reached the area indicated by Goulder. It was a medium sized cabin in the middle of the woods. It was made with the same evergreens from the forest and had a veranda towards a lake behind it from where you could probably fish without any worries.

We looked surprised at each other and laughed for a moment before heading towards the cabin. Once there I knocked a few times on the door.

There was some ruckus, as I heard the sound of someone falling on the ground coming from one side of the house, then there were some hurried steps as someone approached the door and opened a small peep-hole. I saw a pair of scarlet eyes widen for a moment before the peephole was closed and some more hurried steps occurred.

I could also hear a few surprised voices coming from within the house. I looked at the girls and they seemed as surprised as me, but after a few minutes the door finally opened, revealing a satyr wearing a leather robe and some kind of kilt. I also noticed that his eyes were green, different from the ones before.

“Sorry for that… We were kind of… unprepared to receive guests.” He said in a calm, almost uninterested voice.

“No problem. We didn’t exactly announce our coming either…” I answered him with an awkward smile. He nodded slightly and invited us in.

““Sorry for the intrusion.”” The girls said in unison as they came in, receiving an raised eyebrow.

He guided us towards a simple living room with a table, where he motioned us to sit down. Soon after, a beautiful woman came from another door while carrying a tray with some steaming tea-cups. She had long black hair and an enchanting pair of scarlet eyes. A thin and smooth tail came from the back of her waist and ended in a heart-shaped point. A succubus.

She brought the tray to the table and put it down in the middle.

“Sorry for that earlier… We weren’t exactly presentable when you arrived…” She said with her gentle voice and slightly bashful tone… Which didn’t exactly fit that whole sensual aura she naturally had.

I somehow managed to muffle down a cry of pain when something pointy, stabby and cold stabbed through my feet. Yep, feet, as in both. One on each side.

Deciding not to find out why I was suffering like that, I made my best smile as I could and said.

“As I said, it isn’t a problem, since we came here without any previous warning.” I tried not to cringe in pain as I slowly picked up one of the cups and took it to my mouth. I’m usually not a fan of tea, but somehow I felt that I REALLY needed to try this one.

“Is that so?” She said with a clearly relieved tone to her as she smiled. “So, what does bring you five to this place in the middle of nowhere?”

“Sir Goulder sent us here so we could find Shishou’s class.” Yuu answered for me with a slightly sullen mood.

“Guild-master?” She said surprised before shaking her head. “Sorry, where are my manners. My name is Evelyn Darkheart, an Ex-member from the Silver gauntlet.” She said quickly then turned to the satyr. “He is Logan Brown-hoof, my husband. He’s not very social, but he have a good heart.”

“I’m Gondorrer Squirrelwolfthingyban…” Whoops. Goddamit! I have to stop messing this up. “Gondorrer Gravelheart. Level fifteen wanderer.” Our hosts raised an eyebrow at my messed introduction, but the girls had to hold back a giggle. “These are Tatenaka Yuki and Tatenaka Hanbei, my traveling companions.” Then I called Aura from beneath the table. “This is Aura, and the cat inspecting your house is Lieutenant Colonel Whiskers McBallofur Maximilliamus the Third.” I said lastly, pointing to the cat who was nonchalantly walking around the house, brimming with curiosity.

“Wow… That is quite the name…” Evelyn said a bit at loss. “But… Who is this Shishou you want to find a class for?” She asked confused.

“That’s just the way Yuu calls me. It’s something like a teacher of sorts.” I explained quickly, making her nod in accordance.

“Hmm… I see…” Evelyn said while thinking. She then looked at me with some seriousness in her eyes. “Did… Guild-master tell you anything about the class?”

“Nope, nothing, nada, nanimonai.” She sighed in response.

“Geez, Guild-master. Why do you always leave the complicated things for me?” She asked in a slightly weary tone. After some time collecting her thoughts she finally turned to me and said. “You see, the class he’s talking about is probably the one I have, after all, Logan’s class is very basic and you wouldn’t need to come all the way here just to get it.” She in a tone similar to a mother teaching a child.

My eyes shone in expectation. Then, does this means that it’s a unique class? Something no other player will ever have?

“Is this class something that only one person can learn at a time?” I voiced my curiosity.

However she shook her head while giggling slightly. I almost became enticed by that, but I felt the same pointy, stabby and cold things in my feet again.

“Nothing of the sorts.” She said slightly amused. “It’s just that, per tradition, this class can only be passed on to someone who completes a certain test.” She said cheerfully. “In fact, there were about fifty other adventurers like you who came to take the test before. No one succeeded until now.”

I gulped in excitement as I heard about the test. What can it be that so many people are failing on it? Evelyn seemed to enjoy my curiosity as she smiled like a mother seeing her son excited to play outside.

“What kind of class is it, if you don’t mind me asking?” Hanbei said for the first time, as she too couldn’t hold back her curiosity.

“Aren’t you all so curious?” Evelyn said cheerfully before lifting her finger in the air to give emphasis to her words. “Before that, tell me. What do you know about skirmishes?” She said mysteriously.