Naturally, Complications Occur (20.1)

…

If the world changes you, then you lose. Those were my words just three or so years ago. Most of the phrase still rang true. The world is filled with vapid individuals who simply walk the paths society expects of them. Going along with the will of the masses, no matter what that will was, just made sure that you were controlled. There was nothing wrong with choosing to follow society’s whims, my parents and a lot of presumably decent people do, but there are times when going with what’s accepted by society is wrong, even if everyone believes otherwise.

Three years ago, I thought that was subscribing to cliques, friendships, and romance.

Being a loner, I viewed groups and interactions through the lenses of a “failure” of that particular part of society. Of course, it was easy to demonize parts of society I wasn’t involved in. The “me” before the Service Club would most certainly have different opinions of the “me” who had been through several months with the Service Club. No matter what that latter “me” would’ve said, he could never deny that he wanted to be part of a group, and friends with the people he spent time with every day. The former “me” would’ve seen that as “losing” to society, but the me after the Service Club, and the me now, would most definitely not agree.

Losing was a matter of opinion. Opinions changed as time passed. So, though the definition of losing could change, the phrase could still be true and I could still be myself.

I didn’t turn into some vapid teenage boy who only thought about hanging out after school, going to karaoke, or throwing myself into sports. I’d still held onto what I wanted to be, acted like I wanted to act, and pissed off just as many people as I did before. I remained the same, except for the belief that I thought having friends whose opinions mattered to me, people who could affect my life and my decisions, wouldn’t be so bad. It was progression instead of regression. Or, at the very least, I hoped that was the case.

Still, the change from then was different from the change I now faced.

Now, it was whether or not killing someone was the right thing to do when said individual would kill you and everyone you care for given the chance. Ending a life that endangered mine, thousands of others, and potentially a whole world if Orario was destroyed. “Evilus,” no matter how stupid their name was, had the goal of destroying the world’s shield and sword against the Dungeon. Could people who worked towards such a goal be captured? Would they be sane enough to intimidate or persuade? Was there any way for me to face insane fanatics who wanted monsters to ravage the world without killing them?

As always, I didn’t have the answer.

…

Twenty five robed opponents, twenty three monsters, and one figure attempting to escape. Utilize Lightning Sphere. Condense to spear. Mage Gauntlet deteriorates slightly. Too much power for equipment to reliably control. Form four spears. Form into more when strength of each spear is equal to first. Targets: monsters.

“Aiz, Bete, Tiona, and Tione! Pursue that woman!” Deimne took control of the situation in an instant. Two Level 5s and two Level 6s immediately charged. Andromeda was giving her own orders, getting the Hermes Familia into lines, and I changed tactics in light of that. “Riveria, provide support to the pursuing group!” The Braver headed to the front with his spear singing through the air. Solid stone parted at the mere touch of the ends of his staff. Cutting enchantments. The ends were practically buzz saws. “Hikigaya, provide them cover—”

Account for abilities of allies. All allies very capable and agile. Hypothesize ability to utilize tactics. All pursuing forces are of the same Familia and experienced with one another. Leader of allied force? Wallenstein. Preferred tactics? Blitz tactics. Plan: provide pursuing force gap through defenses. Utilize debris as cover. Guide using available spears. Proceed with monster subjugation after success of breakthrough.

“I got it.” The spears I’d already made surged forward. The charging Violas, the vine creatures which attacked a few months ago, exploded as I created a passage through them. Arcing shots of lighting shattered stone and blew up dust on the sewer’s roofs while another spear flew through the cover. The group charging, led by Wallenstein, realized my intentions. They burst through the hole in the line and ran along the wall and roof of the sewers straight over the enemy force. “I’ll deal with the Violas. Focus on capture for interrogation.”

Interrogate, I said, but in truth I wanted to say they should try to bring some of our robed attackers in alive.

“Well done and well-reasoned, Hikigaya!” “Lefiya, start a chant, low power and incapacitate if possible!” Deimne gave me a nod of respect before charging forward. Lefiya took to my side just as I drew my rapier. “Everyone! Focus on destroying the monsters! Try to capture the enemy adventurers so we can learn more of their plans!”

There were low chances of them getting past the Hermes Familia. Though eccentric, I was able to see that the team was constructed well. Two Pallums darted from between the front line with heavy weapons, ranged auxiliaries picked off enemies, and rogues provided the most of the damage while the Mage chanted. Andromeda utilized her explosives and items to great effect. They barely needed my help against the first wave of Violas, especially when the Braver arrived to the front. The Level 3 monsters were shredded against a solid wall and an unstoppable object.

Something is wrong. A feeling crawled down my spine. It was instinct, but at the same time it wasn’t. I concentrated. There it was again. Magic was being gathered, but I didn’t hear any of the robed men casting.

Mortal enemies not ceasing charge. Enemies heading towards death. Incapable of victory. Capture possible. Defeat of frontline impossible. Enemy knows. Allies know. Reason for continued charge must be determined. Desperation? No. Lack of war cries. Fear? No enemies at their back. Fanaticism? Likely. Enemy will not break. Enemy will not allow themselves to be captured. Magic detected. Robes. Enemies emitting magic and wearing robes. Determination is invalid. No. Answer is valid. Charging. Insane. Fanatics. Improbable. Zealots. Wrong. Unstoppable. Cannot be captured. Lines too close for change in orders. Allies not firing. Intends to capture due to advice. Will cause causalities if not dealt with. Familia will be broken due to own advice. Unacceptable. Agreement. Cannot cripple and leave capable. Agreement. Must be dealt with before reaching proximity of allies. Agreement. Monster Crystals cannot be allowed to explode in this confined area. …Agreement.

Grasping the hem of my coat, I unclasped four clasps. Leather straps fell away, and 36 knives flew forth into the dark.

Seize all with lightning.

They grew white hot in contact with the concentrated power. I had seconds to launch them before they exploded into fragments. Within a heartbeat, the whole of the tunnel was lit with 36 glowing embers. I guided their routes through threads of lightning, making sure that they’d swim between by allies, and only then did I let them loose.

Projectiles launch wreathed in lightning. Guide through allied lines. Vaporization trail left by projectiles. Loud. Focus. Cannot make mistake. Enemies closing in on frontline. Must not allow front to be destroyed. Allies have not noticed. Correction. Finn Deimne has noticed. Turning with question on lips. Consider words. Consider Level 6’s abilities and experience. Mouth words: “explosives” and “suicide.” Ally’s eyes widen. Ally turns to call for retreat. Not needed. Projectiles reach no man’s land. Enemy ten meters away from front line. Deimne uses spear shaft to throw back whole front line along with himself. Not needed. Projectiles are breaking. Force whole attack into controlled cone through threads. Wall of lightning forms before enemy to ensure no fragments hit allies. Wall forms at back to ensure none escape. Walls ensure allies will not see effects.

Even in the dim light cast by my Lightning and Viridis’s circle, I could see the trails left by my 36 knives. The walls I’d created, thin enough for a Level 3 or 4 to throw themselves through, weren’t enough to dim the sound. When the backs of Hermes Familia’s front line hit the stone floor of the sewers, the sound of metal shattering and exploding echoed through the tunnels. A few of the Hermes Familia ducked their heads or reeled back from the wall of lightning, but beyond that there was no effect on the force I’d gathered. Deimne rose at the front. He had seen what I’d sent forward, what had happened before I’d hidden everything from view, and what had probably occurred.

Then the screaming started.

Level 3. That was the cutoff point where guns and explosives could be expected to matter. The technology to mass produce weapons from my world was present. Monster crystals could easily act as a propellant, metallurgy was incredible given the existence of Blacksmiths, and there was a want for long ranged weapons. There were simple reasons why they didn’t exist. Archers created bows from monster bones and could put superhuman strength, accuracy, and speed to work with ease. Mages were the defacto rulers of battlefields. The more complex reasons were that making guns effective meant searching for certain monster drops, enhancing bullets with Enhancements like Cut, and getting better propellant that could be used for Magic Swords instead. It was a waste of money to invest into, especially when Adventurers and Monsters exponentially grew in power, attacked en masse, and even had the ability to heal. Past Level 3, or at the Middle Floors, regular guns became worthless, and the materials needed for their replacements were twenty floors further down.

Still, the principle behind the weapons remained true: projectiles at sufficient speed would always deal damage. That was why I had my knives made with copper cores around iron and used lightning.

“Hikigaya-san.” I was brought out of my reverie, my attempts to ignore the screaming from within the walls by Deimne. There was no smile on the Pallum’s face. I noticed how no one save for him seemed to look at me. No. Viridis was staring at me. Was that fear in her eyes? Or regret? Did she know what was going to happen if I’d let the charge crash into the Hermes Familia? Or did she just see what everyone else saw. The Braver placed a hand on my shoulder. Somehow, I knew that he realized that this was the first time I’d done something like this. “It’s possible that we may be able to capture a few of them. However, we can only do that if you disperse your wall.”

“…They still might have explosives on them. I made sure not to cause enough damage to destroy crystals.” It took me a moment to find my voice, but once I found it I felt a sick feeling welling up in my stomach. Vertigo and nausea hit me at the same moment. I only had a moment to pull down my mask as my stomach emptied itself. Well… wasn’t I lucky to be in a sewer already. I waved the wall of lightning apart, glancing at the strewn, perforated, and broken bodies within, then I looked away. I took what spare potions I had and pressed them into Deimne’s hands. “Stabilize them. I’ll use Mend to fully heal anyone.” I felt another hand on my shoulder, one that was slim and frail, and some of my vertigo dissipated. I still feel sick. “I’ll be up in a moment.”

“Take your time, Hikigaya-san… and thank you for what you’ve done.”

Looking on the twenty five broken bodies, some twitching and screaming while others were nothing more than piles of viscera and flesh, I didn’t exactly feel like I deserved any such thanks.

In the end, I didn’t even have the chance to decide whether to kill or not.

I probably never would… unless I made sure I never had to make the decision again.

…

Naturally, Complications Occur (20.2)

…

“I don’t have to win, I just need to make you lose,” was a saying that I was very fond of. It was a leftover of my Chuuni days, when I dreamt of making the sacrifice play to let the rest of the party win and being the real hero of the story. Sacrifice was something that translated well in every culture because everyone is intrinsically selfish. It takes a selfish person to appreciate the unselfish act of sacrifice. No empathy is involved in the process, only acknowledgement, and people can move on without regret. It’s a quick, clean way of being a hero. No epilogues or ambiguous endings for that character, besides being fondly remembered for the next dozen generations.

The only way you’d get more people to like you would be if you were also a cute dog while doing it.

Still, like every good thing humanity makes, some asshole will come along to fuck it up.

Sacrifice, ending one’s life for the sake of another person and to beat a final boss, was clear cut and understandable. Martyrdom was the exact opposite. It was to die for an idea, for a purpose, and against all odds. Sure, there were times when martyrdoms were good and all, maybe even in other countries they’re seen as good, but any decent Japanese person will tell you that dying for a cause, not for your family or the people you love, is incredibly stupid.

Sacrifice is done with the knowledge that things could go another way, that you’re giving your life so that others wouldn’t get hurt while you could’ve done otherwise. A person with potential, a future, or a dream that they wanted to achieve who gave all of that up for the sake of another’s potential, future, and dreams. They’re making the “saving play” with their lives. Everyone gets their happy ending, they get to be remembered for a long time, and that’s that.

Martyrs can be taught to be martyrs. They can be indoctrinated to see only a single path. That they must achieve a goal or die for the sake of that goal. That after dying they’ll be revered and remembered. That they can strap bombs to their chests, run towards guns while half-starved and using swords, and be killed regretting they didn’t kill any more of their enemy. School boys can be strapped into planes filled with explosives and crash into ships. Weaponized sacrifice. It was propaganda made by old men sitting fat and plump in chairs while unthinking kids died for them. There was a difference between sacrificing yourself and being told to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate reward.

The Evilus members saw that they were against a group they couldn’t beat.

They should’ve surrendered, hell they should’ve run, and yet they’d planned to kill themselves while throwing themselves at us.

I was disgusted at them, whoever led them, and myself.

I should’ve had a way to stop idiots like them from doing shit like that.

…

Three of twenty five. Even with my newest spell, that’s all we were able to recover from the attacking force. Not only that, but two of them weren’t able to stand being healed. Most of the damage done by my lightning was to the nerves. Having them all burnt to a crisp, only to be regrown while pushing aside and destroying the remains of the injured, wasn’t the most tolerable of experiences. The bodies were laid aside and their explosives sequestered, I provided my spare limiters so that all three couldn’t escape, and by the end of it we had one sole source of information from the 25 we initially had.

Not that I was doing the interrogating, since the survivor wouldn’t do anything besides scream at my face. Deimne and Viridis, playing bad cop and good cop probably, were gathering information while the position was held by the Hermes Familia. Somewhere ahead of us, Wallenstein and the others were pursuing an unknown with the potential to unleash a massive weapon on Orario. My watch told me that there was only thirty minutes left of the eight hour protections Fels created. The labyrinthine sewers would be difficult to traverse, and I was sure that they wouldn’t be doing anything stupid like splitting up against an opponent capable of killing Level 5 warriors. We couldn’t exactly spare time for a long interrogation, but information was paramount. Even the slightest piece of information could save someone from getting hurt.

The man could lie about it and we’d be none the wiser, of course, because there was no one else to question. He could also lie just to spite me for killing most of his comrades. No matter how I looked at the situation, even if I did save the Hermes Familia from being swarmed by a suicidal charge, I’d made the situation untenable. The information we were going to gain was spotty at best and practically ought to be treated as a lie. If I’d had a way to stop them all from charging, maybe some sort of taser instead a of lightning storm, or some spell that allowed me to put people to sleep for long periods like my amulet, then the situation would be far, far better.

I needed to look into those avenues yesterday, especially if this situation even had the slightest chance of happening again.

“Hikigaya.” I felt a familiar, gloved hand rest on my shoulder. Andromeda had a firm grip. For a second, I debated turning to her. However, I realized that I was getting lost to the whims of my Skill again. I did my best to change my thoughts to another train, such as focusing on the blue-haired, bespectacled secondary protagonist in front of me, and got some mixed results. I had a semblance of control over my mind, unfortunately the controls involved treating people like characters instead of people. Still, things tended to get worse before they got better from my experience, so I just had to keep being mindful of everything, as always. “Take a break, my Familia will take watch for now.” When I couldn’t muster an answer, her grip tightened. “You need to gather yourself, Hikigaya, or you’re going to be useless in the coming fight.”

“…I heard you the first time.” I managed to grunt and pay Andromeda a modicum of attention. Retreating from my “post,” a clever name for the spot where I forgot how to walk, I took one of the sewer’s walls and let myself slide down. The sewers were far cleaner than I expected them to be. I supposed gods didn’t want anything they made looking filthy, even if it had the express purpose of carrying around filth. What a petty way to use divine power, though I suppose I’d do the same if I were in their place. Anyway, somehow, I found myself slightly relieved as soon as I sat down. My hammering heart actually took a moment to not try and burst through my chest. Or, perhaps, it was trying to throttle my brain. Either one was possible to be honest. She hovered near me. “So, what is it?”

“What do you mean, Hikigaya?” Arms crossed, Andromeda had that sort of thin-lipped look that I was sure was extensively practiced by certain kinds of women and all elves. How some people managed to convey abject disappointment at a glance, a practical beam attack from their face, was beyond me. I didn’t even have the preliminary requirements to defend, understand, or copy the attack. Truly, somewhere along the line, I messed up my build order and skill development section. I really needed to find the “Load” feature and hope I actually saved. “Whatever could you mean by that question? Perhaps, you mean to have me praise you for saving my Familia, thanking you for breaking your code of ethics for our sake, for simply doing what you’re supposed to as an ally?”

“...” I managed to take a breath after parsing Andromeda’s words. I took a moment to look at everyone else present. Really look, instead of letting my ideas affect my reality. People were talking, making jokes, and checking for scratches. Those who locked eyes with me gave me nods or even outright bows. Each and every one of them was thankful. Why wouldn’t they be? I saved their lives by killing other people. They once stood where I had. Each one of them killed someone else. I was the outlier of the bunch. None of them found what I did wrong. Only I did. I managed to chuckle. “I suppose not, then.” I shook my head and took a breath. “Forget it, Andromeda.”

For a moment, Andromeda seemed content to leave it at that. Given that she wasn’t the type for nonsense, telling me to sit down and stop moping was probably all she planned to do. Still, somewhere along the line, given Hermes’s words to her during the Denatus, something must have happened in the background regarding me between Perseus and Hermes. As stupid as it may have been, her character type wasn’t the kind who had many friends. Which was stupid given that she shouldn’t have had such problems. She was the type of person who’d have crowds surrounding her from day one in reality. Her “social incompetence” only existed because of fiat and the need for development. So, considering all that, I found myself being the foil for the spin-off’s heroine.

“From what I’ve gathered regarding you, I find myself unsurprised that you haven’t needed to kill anyone. In nearly every record concerning your actions, you’re always at the advantage.” I listened though I was aware of everything she was saying. I don’t want to be a bother, Andromeda, but I’m pretty sure that I gave this speech to myself already. I really don’t want to figure out if I need someone else to tell me what I’ve told myself in order to feel better. Just what kind of spineless, simpering wimp would I be if I needed someone else to reinforce my own beliefs every time I questioned myself. Don’t be fooled, despite being raised in Japan to become a faceless corporate slave, I do have something resembling a spine, y’know! “I can see it in your eyes, how you think that you’ll be able to plan and prepare around such events. You believe that you can avoid this part of Orario and never again have to kill.” Yep, this was the part where she says it’s alright to not worry about killing. That she’s done it for the sake of her friends and family. “I believe that among everyone within this city, you and your students are the most likely to achieve such a goal.”

Huh?

“Don’t look so surprised, Hikigaya.” Andromeda admonished me and shook her head. For a second, she hesitated before leaning against the wall I had settled against. “Orario is necessary, that is why the world chooses to ignore how lawless and vile it is.” A frown crosses her face. Briefly, as a I looked upon her features, I remembered passing rumors about her being a princess who would one day lead a country. “No one of any decent lineage would wish for this city to stay as it is, even with the treasures it offers, and only a fool would be incapable of seeing you and your students as the first step to changing the city.”

I was silent, mostly because I was chastising myself for not remembering to forget my old habits.

“Remember this day, Hikigaya. Make it fuel for your drive to civilize Orario.” Asfi al Andromeda gave me a nod. Deimne and Viridis headed towards us. “So long as you and students are the exception in your consideration of lives and respect towards law and custom, you all will need to hold yourselves to a stricter set of conduct and standards than the rest of Orario.” Perseus gave me a nod. Was it of respect or of acknowledgement? Both, perhaps? A faint smile graced her lips. “Know, however, that you are not alone and lacking in support. So, do not be afraid to ask me for help for whatever scheme or artifact you want to make for this to never occur again.”

She was definitely trying to extort Valis from me in my moment of weakness, for her help in making something that could avoid another situation like this one, but I still couldn’t help but feel relieved.

At the very least, though I’d lose money, I wasn’t going to have to deal with killing people as long as I was careful.

Hopefully, the rest of this spin-off series didn’t have any more plot twists, because I wasn’t sure if I could take it.

…

Naturally, Complications Occur (20.3)

…

“They are of Evilus as you suspected Hikigaya-san.” Deimne wasted no time in talking. The Pallum gestured for me to get up. Normally, I wouldn’t like it if someone told me to stand after I just sat, but I wasn’t inclined to pick fights with people who could break my spine. Like any decent individual, I only picked fights which I could win. “We must move quickly. My Familia is facing a monster in the shape of an adventurer. One that has consumed many Monster Crystals and doesn’t intend to lose.”

“A monster that’s shaped like a person? Is such a thing even possible?” Andromeda, as per her status as the side protagonist, was the one asking the questions. Was Perseus getting screen time for this? Or was this just going to be some out-of-the-way Light Novel that was never going to see the light of day? Whichever was the case, she helped me up and I dusted myself off. “How intelligent is it?”

“Given that it was the one giving orders and leading this group? Very.” As always, while physical strength was always an issue, intelligent opponents were far more difficult to confront. Deimne bit at the tip of his thumb. Viridis spoke with a few members of the Hermes Familia, and they began to ready themselves to move. “We need to provide support and pull back everyone who can’t withstand fighting against a Level 7. It’s being cautious, of course, but we can’t leave these prisoners alone and—”

“At best, we’d only be slowed down by our weaker members. At worst, they’ll be killed.” Andromeda gave a swift nod. Perseus’s boots struck the stone decisively. Within seconds, she had the Hermes Familia shuffled around. The “squishy” members were sent to look over the prisoners, along with the two Pallums and the shield-toting woman, while the front line is fully remained. Potions are passed along. Yep. The best way to survive was to be tough and have plenty of healing. “Everyone stay safe! If we don’t return before 30 minutes, do your best to evacuate the surrounding area!”

“She’s an excellent leader.” Deimne mutters his approval. The Braver eventually turns to me. His experienced gaze looks me over. Oi, you’re making me uncomfortable. Stop that. He nods when he stops. “Good.” Y’know, I appreciate the lack of philosophy and “handling killing” going on here, but one word is a pretty cheap way of telling me you’re glad I’m fine. Not that I care or anything. “We’re going to need you in case we fail. Your magic will be needed to recover our wounded and defeat the monster that’s been brought to the surface.”

“Yep. That what I do. I heal things and kill monsters.” Deimne, despite his extensive speech regarding my state of mind set to be forever immortalized, intended to make sure my little moment didn’t interfere with us dealing with the looming threat ahead of us. I appreciated the attempt to help, but I’m not exactly the type to forget what I’m doing just because of a little mental trauma. The Pallum managed to hide his surprise at my flippancy, but I could tell that he relaxed as soon as he realized he wasn’t going to have to drag me along using a leash. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“…My apologies, it appears I assumed wrongly of you, Hikigaya-san.” Deimne offered a small bow in apology, but I waved it off. If I were in his place, with the sole source of reliable healing panicked and my Familia fighting a monster, I’d try to do my best to slap some sense into said healer. I’ve played raids before. Healers are the most important part of the team. They hold the power of life and death over everyone else. The only job for me really. “I hope you’ll not hold my words against me—”

“I said it’s fine. Look, I’m waving your concerns away. Now I’m doing it again.” I waved my hand again to punctuate my words. About 4/5ths of the Hermes Familia were going back the way we came. The remainder were making sure that they had their healing potions near them or in their armor. Smart. “Let’s move on. I’d rather not talk about it, especially since it’s never going to happen again.”

“…You have both my thanks and my admiration, Hikigaya-san.” This was the part where I’d typically gush and flush, but I didn’t feel like remembering Totsuka at the moment. None of my classmates ever had to make this decision. I didn’t want to think about what they thought of me now. I sequestered that thought away, focused on the present, and urged myself to keep moving. “I’ll be sure to properly thank you later, Hikigaya-san.”

“Thank me by making sure no else dies today.” I wasn’t the sort to let favors hang around. Though I supposed it would be great if I had a Level 6’s help in another event, I was reckless and impulsive at heart. The best time to use an item is when you receive it. Those who save their most powerful items for later always just end up never using them. An unused asset gave nothing which meant the asset in question was just wasted. Besides, being able to ask a Level 6 for help was the same as needing a Level 6’s help, it was tempting fate. “That’s all I want.”

Deimne’s smile at my request was somewhere between warm and terrifying. I could tell he appreciated the thought, but I could also tell that some part of him looked forward to taking on another challenge on top of the hurdle he already had before him.

Naturally, people who reached Level 6 and above were just plain abnormal even among the abnormal.

…

As expected, the battle was at the very heart of the city. Or, rather, the very heart of the city’s sewer system. The tunnels all started from a single place, where Orario was founded before the expansion, and the gods were keen to show off their skill. Dozens of tunnels led into a massive cistern with massive pillars and walls carved from solid stone. The many fountains of Orario flowed through here, along with refuse, and the city’s running water. I’d heard rumors that architects used to visit the city just to look at the sewers. Some called them fools and idiots, but the gods definitely knew their stuff in regards to sewage, and I was sure the rest of the world benefitted from proper sewage systems everywhere.

Though, I was very sure that no other city’s sewage system would be the stage of a boss battle.

Under normal circumstances, I doubted that anyone or anything would be capable of taking on the vanguard we’d sent ahead. Wallenstein, the Hiryutes, Alf, and Bete were all great adventurers. Three Level 6s and two Level 5s. A capable healer and artillery mage, accompanied by two DPSer and two Tanks, with extensive history with one another. They were a veteran team accustomed to working with one another and supporting each other, and they had sound strategies under their belt.

Still, of course, I doubted they had any strategies for what we encountered.

“It seems as though we won’t be capturing anyone else today, Hikigaya-san.” Deimne was the first to break the silence as we reached the cistern. The massive pillars which had used to hold a portion of Orario up were nothing but rubble. The blue sky shone down at us and the ruins of many buildings. I recognized the rubble. It was the old portion of Orario, where the Abandoned Church used to be, and so there were no bodies amidst the destruction. Those bodies would be coming in later if we failed. “It appears we once again underestimated the lengths to which our enemy would go.”

Monsters could eat one another to gain strength and power. Monsters learned and evolved the longer they lived. A Troll, a normal encounter monster, at the same state had to be put down by Ottar despite the fact it was in the “average” Floors of the Dungeon. The Asura which came from two Goliaths eating one another. They were Calamities, monsters with unknown skills and abilities, that almost always killed dozens and dozens of Adventurers. Forces of nature that necessitate responses from forces that could overturn countries themselves… or a mountain of bodies and resources to drown it under.

Thankfully, unlike the last time I’d faced one, it was the former affair.

Within moments of our arrival, the entire vanguard was present and regrouped around us.

“The woman we were chasing ate our objective. Its blood melts weapons without the Durandal enchantment.” Wallenstein’s report to Deimne was concise, efficient, and delivered just as she landed in a crouch after leaping down from the shattered ceiling of the cistern. The Sword Princess had several superficial wounds. Time to earn my pay. Mend. Nourish. Continuous Haste. She underwent healing without even a grimace, but she noticed Haste. When she rose, she had to steady herself, but she gave me a swift nod. “Thank you, Hikigaya-sensei, I’ll be sure to use this power well.”

Then, with her report complete, she launched herself back into battle without another word. The massive Calamity at Orario’s heart was a monstrous thing. It was a hybrid between plant and flesh. Its face was akin to the sketch given to us by Fels, but it was the size of a building with vines as thick as columns digging into it, a massive flower the size of a building blooming from one eye. The Calamity’s body was a thrashing mess of vines and arms. It was screaming and roaring as it picked up chunks of buildings to throw, sent immense tendrils flying forward as blurs, and bled acid which rapidly melted stone and its lower extremities.

Both the Hiryutes returned within seconds, their weapons conspicuously absent, and attire damaged. Deimne was quick to offer his jacket to Hiryute Tione, so it was only natural I did the same for Hiryute Tiona.

“…Riviera-sama plans on enhancing Bete’s equipment to the breaking point for a decisive blow, Captain!” Hiryute Tione reported a moment after glancing at her sister. Hiryute Tiona seemed much quieter than usual. I supposed almost melting alive and healing from it was not a pleasant experience. “Everyone else needs to work as distractions.” The elder Hiryute looked at me and then at Viridis. “Except for all other Mages. We need to end this creature decisively utilizing magic. Lefiya-chan, Hikigaya, the two of you are assigned to kill this monster while we distract it.”

Both left after she delivered her report.

A massive gout of flame slammed into the Calamity, setting it afire. Within the plume, there was a flash of light. The giant which spanned several blocks in width alone was sent flying by a single kick courtesy of Fenrir empowered by a spell by Nine Hell. Then, the massive beast was intercepted in mid-air by a blur of speeding gold, its body slammed into the floor by the hypersonic missile known as the Sword Princess. Both Hiryutes jumped down, picked up pieces of houses, and began to act as trebuchets with their physical strength alone. Deimne took to the field without even a stutter in his step, despite his speed doubling between one stride and the other. Viridis began to chant and the amount of power she gathered swiftly rose and rose until I was fairly sure she was more than capable of wiping out Rakia with a single word.

Andromeda and the rest of the Hermes Familia were still taking in the Calamity and trying to get a grip on the scene.

Kudos to you, decent writer-sama, you’re showing off exactly how shit the level disparity is here.

…

Interlude: The Student (Part 7)

…

“What are the chances that Sensei is at the very center of this mess, Arde-senpai?”

“What do you think, brat?”

“…Guaranteed?”

“There is absolutely no chance he wouldn’t be, so, yes.”

Bells roared from every direction. Babel resounded with a chorus of brass. The rooftops were swarming with dozens of Adventurers. I worried for most of them. Did they know what they were heading toward? Sure, everyone heard the screaming and saw the massive tendrils and the great plume of dust which lurched into the sky, but did each person know what they were heading toward?

The last thing I’d heard roar that loudly had been the Asura. That monster had destroyed entire groups with a single opened maw. Its limbs tore apart stone and fortifications with ease. Pitch black tar had stolen weapons. It was only defeated by overwhelming amounts of magic. Even then, those who defeated it were almost claimed by its vengeance. It turned bodies of adventurers into puppets that retained their strength, durability, and speed.

Most that ran along the rooftops were armed with melee weapons. A few carried bows. Fewer still had staves. How many among them had Crozzo Magic Swords? Clothes that resisted magic? Weapons made of the Asura? Who even had their Endurance maxed out for their level? Those running with us weren’t even of Rivira. Some could be Level 1s or 2s without much experience, unlike the groups of Level 3s and 4s which permeated the Safe Zone. Relying on them wasn’t an option, the only ones who I could really depend on now were my own Familia.

As much as it hurt to say, I was also happy that I could finally say it.

“My, my, that’s new.” Belka was at the vanguard of the group, along with the rest of the Barbelas. The five of them were trained by Sensei while he’d been mad. They were scary to fight as they coordinated their assaults with one another. One, I was sure I could beat. Two would be a challenge. At three and beyond, I probably wouldn’t get a word in. I was glad that Sensei dismissed them and sent them to my Familia. In his own way, he fought against his madness. “It seems, Liliruca-chan, that your wayward father right is where you expected him to be.”

We stopped at the boundary of Old Orario. We looked upon the massive monster at the depths of the city’s old heart. It was unlike any other monster I’d ever seen. It looked like a grotesque combination of a human and a plant. Like one of those flowers had tried to become a person, or the other way around. It was monstrous and immense beast that looked as though it could sweep through Orario and destroy everything in its path. There was no doubt in my mind that it was a Calamity.

“Neh, if Lili-chan’s the daughter, what am I and Erisuis-chan?” Nelly gathered us since she was with the Hermes Familia. Just as the earth began to quake and shake, she arrived from the secret mission she had been on with Sensei. I was happy to see her, but we didn’t have time to talk beyond getting basic information. Erisuis was already with her then. Laulos-senpai was the only one missing of our group. “Step-daughters? Nieces?”

“Not important right now. Focus.” Lyon-nee-san headed our group. While I was sure that I should be leading, since most of our alliance was made up of my Familia, I knew better than to pick fights I wouldn’t win. I’m sorry, Sensei, but you’ll be facing Lyon-nee-sama’s full might and anger when we find you. Ummm… ah, she’s also more experienced than me in combat, so there’s also that! I’m not leaving you to fight against her all alone, it’s only due to circumstance! “Cranel-kun, Filvis-san, what are your current states?”

“I am ready for combat.” Challia hadn’t been present for our fight against Sensei, since she’d been doing something for Dionysus-sama, but she was here now. That was all that mattered. While I checked my state, the black-haired elf spoke. She had a Mage Gauntlet in one hand and a rapier in the other. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought she was trying to fight more like Sensei. Or, since she had the rapier first, was Sensei trying to fight like her? “I can engage within a moment and have plenty of Mind to spare.”

“Haruhime-san’s power is working.” I gave my status as soon as Challia-san stopped talking. Haruhime’s power, her ability to grant a Level Up, was incredible. Though Yama and I were the only ones she trusted to give it to at the moment, it was a great boost to our fighting ability. Two Level 5s was a great difference to a fighting force of mostly Level 4s and 5s. I made sure that Argonaut was ready to be charged. A few motes of light confirmed that I was close enough to a great threat that I could begin charging my skill. “And, I’m already starting to charge.”

“Good. Everyone will be starting with Magic Swords first. Don’t hold back, but save the last charges for Cranel-kun.” Lyon gave me a nod. I took it as a sign to stay back and begin charging. With my Mind Potions, I could cast Argonaut seven times. Still, no matter what we did, Magic Swords always used themselves up completely when I used them with my Skill. We got around the issue by using ones that were about to break. A fully charged magic sword would do more damage, but scrounging another full blast from an almost broken blade was better than using up one after another with single shots. “Is everyone ready—”

Naturally, just as Lyon-nee-san was about to speak, the whole of the cavern filled with light and a storm of lightning surged towards the heavens.

…

No matter how much time passed, I doubted that I’d ever be able to comprehend how powerful my Sensei is. The Skills he had were double edged swords, as they could hurt him and his allies, but there was no denying that he was exceptionally blessed. Though I had seen many Mages fight and destroy entire groups of enemies, I doubted anyone could hope to match my Sensei in terms of power and ingenuity. As my grandfather always said, it’s great to have power, but its better if you know how use it… and you’re pretty much perfect if you had both!

My grandfather liked to say that a lot. Though, I still didn’t get why he laughed so much when he said it. The saying was pretty great!

The very air was filled with power as Sensei’s lightning was brought to bear. The massive cavern that the monster resided in became a sheer space filled with power. For a split second, everyone looked into a wall of light. Then, just as suddenly as it appeared, it surged upward in the sky as a single pillar. There were no stray explosions, or uncontrolled filaments of power; Sensei had a firm grip on his ability that was unmatched by any other mage. Even as the earth quaked, the air burned, and buildings collapsed, I knew better than to doubt my Sensei’s approach to any opponent.

Not many had the same amount of trust. Most of those who didn’t know Sensei ran away to seek cover. I was glad to find that none of my current group faltered at the sight of so much power.

Though, I must admit that I was plenty astonished when the Calamity began to rise from the cistern along with huge chunks of rubble. Like a prisoner held aloft by chains, the immense monstrosity was dragged into the air above Orario. The writhing monster, uttering roars and thrashing with its many limbs, was suspended in the sky by chains of light where it could not further damage the depths of the city… or anything else for that matter.

A figure landed by at my side.

“Bell-kun, I’m glad you’re here.”

Despite the situation, I felt heat rush to my face at Aiz’s words. Despite appearing from battle, she seemed as graceful as ever. No. She actually seemed more graceful than usual. Was that even possible? How can that even happen? Eh, Aiz, I’m pretty sure it’s not fair for you to look cooler than you usually are! The world has a limited amount of coolness, so you shouldn’t use it all up for everyone’s sake~.

A hand made contact with my head.

“Ah, Yama, why!?” My cry of pain went unheeded. The blow was a vicious one. Chills were going down my spine. Looking towards Yama, I could tell that she wasn’t pleased with me. I know I should be paying attention during battle, but it’s unnecessary to hit me so hard! “It hurts!”

“Stay focused, everyone.” Lyon-nee-san, of course, was unperturbed as she took control of the situation and saved me from my partner’s ire. Aiz turned to our group’s defacto leader. Ah, so cool and composed! Ow! Stop that, Yama! “What is the situation, Wallenstein?”

Many others would’ve gone into a long winded explanation, but Aiz only pointed towards the monster suspended in the air as it was scorched by lightning.

“Hikigaya-sensei can only hold that beast up for three minutes. We must kill it quickly and decisively in that timeframe.” As Sensei liked to say, the explanation was provided in twenty words or less! As expected of Aiz! Y-Yama, why are you holding your sword like that!? That’s not your Magic Sword! Okay, okay, I’ll be serious now, I swear! “It must be killed with magic as its blood can melt anything and anyone unprotected by Durandal.”

“So long as it’s bound in lightning, its blood will be destroyed without issue.” Challia analyzed the situation with a nod. As expected of a great Mage, she was able to take stock of the situation with ease. “We need to attack immediately. We mustn’t hold back. Killing the creature now will greatly limit damage to Orario!”

Aiz gave a nod and Lyon relayed the order. Magic Swords were produced. I felt the familiar power of Argonaut well up within me and into Crozzo’s Magic Sword. The air about our group was filled to the brim with magic. I felt almost as though I could touch the ethereal power if I just stretched out my hand, but I focused and ignored the urge.

Rays of light surged from the cistern, Viridis’s power burrowed into and ravaged the monster which Sensei held up. Everyone fired in concert with the fusillade of magic, even Aiz sent forward a slash of her sword which nearly bisected the monster, but I knew better than to do the same.

I waited until I caught a glimpse of its black heart before I swung.

It was better to be safe than sorry.

I dared not risk not destroying such a threat completely and utterly.

…

The Waifu Evaluations.

…

Totsuka Saika: H-hello, good evening everyone! Today w-we’re going to look closely into Hachiman’s current l-love life in O-Orario! With us today, are several judges of great insight into Hachiman’s love life! They’re all going to talk of their most favored contestants and explain why they think their contestant is going to win! F-first up is Komachi-san!

Komachi Hikigaya: Hey, everyone! Hello, hello! As my hinedere Onii-chan’s best Imouto, I can tell you right now that my call is the best one! Komachi-chan knows her brother the best! Ah, that was high in Komachi Points! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

Totsuka: A-ah, that was a great introduction, Komachi-chan! Well done!

Komachi: Aww, you’re so nice, Totsuka-chan! I’ll have you know that I’m rooting for you to take my big brother away too! (*¯︶¯*)

Totsuka: E-eh!? What do you mean by that!? Hachiman and I are just best friends!

Komachi: Well, with my hinedere Onii-chan’s outlook, I’m willing to be open-minded! Besides, Totsuka-chan, you’re so nice! My parents will totally be fine with you being their daughter-in-law! I want to stay the cutest in our family, but I can give that up for my Onii-chan! (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Totsuka: I-I’m the girl!? (；￣Д￣)

Komachi: Don’t pretend you’re not! Ganbare, Totsuka-chan! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ

Totsuka: M-moving on then! We still have two judges left to go! Alright then, go ahead, Miura-san!

Yumiko Miura: Hold on, what the hell is this? Why should I care about Hikio-whatever’s love life? I’ve got better things to do, y’know!? ((╬◣﹏◢))

Totsuka: W-we need an impartial judge, Miura-san! You’re very level-headed and neutral here! The neutral party that doesn’t really care about Hachiman! You’re very important!

Yumiko: Hmph! I suppose that’s a decent reason! Fine then! As long as it’s clear that I don’t care about Hikio-whatever, I’ll say my piece about his so-called love life! (`ー´)

Totsuka: T-thank you very much, Yumiko-san! I really appreciate your help! (≧◡≦)

Yumiko: I-it’s fine, alright! I said that already! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Totsuka: Finally, we have our last judge! While Komachi-san is out to help her brother and Miura-san is a neutral party, our last judge is focused on—

Yukino Yukinoshita: This list is a composition of deviants without any sense of modesty and propriety. As expected of Hikigaya-kun, he attracts the very worst sort. This entire matter is completely and utterly facetious at best and a foolish exercise regarding a foolish notion at the very worst. (¬ ¬ )

Miura: …wow.

Komachi: *sniff* You care about Onii-chan so much, Yukino-chan! I’m really sorry you have to be here! .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･.

Totsuka: Ummm… Aha… Y-you sure know a lot of big words, Yukino-san.

Yukino: !!!

Totsuka: D-did I say something w-wrong?

Miura: Nah, I think you just said something right. Jeez. Seriously, I get why I’m here now. Let’s get this show on the road. ヽ(ー_ー )ノ

Totsuka: Alright then, how about you go first, Komachi-san? Which of the girls in Hachiman’s current life do you think needs to spend more time with him!

Komachi: Tiona-chan, of course! She’s so nice, sweet, and she can keep my Onii-chan from being bullied! I can tell that she’s not very responsible at the moment, but with Onii-chan at the helm, she’ll be bringing home the bacon in no time! Onii-chan can live out his dream of being a househusband easy! She’ll be a great Onee-sama because she’s so fun!

Yukino: I must contend with that statement. (--_--)

Totsuka: Yukino-san, it’s not time for—

Yukino: It is. (￣︿￣)

Totsuka: Okay. (⌒_⌒

Miura: (ノ_

Komachi: I’m more than happy to let Yukino-chan have some of my time, Totsuka-chan. (°◡°♡)

Yukino: Thank you very much, Komachi-chan. Anyway, it’s evident that if we’re to look mainly for Hikigaya’s preferences, the most prominent force would be Riviera Ljos Alf. Though her means to get affection are underhanded and unseemly, she most obviously meets the criteria of Hikigaya-kun’s foolish dream of being a stay-at-home parent. Not only that, but it is obvious that the world will benefit most from him being as an advisor of sorts to her. Acting as a sort of deputy at her side, whenever he has time to spare from their children—

Miura: *whisper* When did children come into play?

Totsuka: *whisper* …I-I don’t know…

Komachi: (°◡°♡)

Yukino: Excuse me, I am speaking. Please, consider this my “recommendation” as well, if we’re so pressed for time. As I was saying, Ljos Alf-san is the most obvious choice for Hikigaya-kun if he must choose amongst the wanton women who throw themselves at him. “Lyon Ryuu” and “Lefiya Viridis” are both far more underhanded than her, without even the caution and pride she has, and so they are wholly inappropriate choices. Challia, though seemingly interested, seems to be taking her time. Only time will tell if she falls amongst their number, or is of more decent nature, or better yet isn’t interested at all.

Miura: …you said this whole thing is worthless, but you obviously spent a lot time reading into these characters. (ノ_

Yukino: A-an opinion without basis is a worthless one! I have supporting facts, correlating evidence, and so those who hear my words will believe me! Don’t act as though I care for this triviality just because I didn’t wish to appear foolish like yourself!

Miura: Hah!? What was that? What did you just say? (＃`Д´)

Totsuka: O-okay, it looks like it’s time for a commercial! See you all when we get back! ＼(º □ ºl|l)/

The Waifu Evaluations. (Part 2)

…

Totsuka: W-welcome back everyone! I hope everyone had a p-pleasant time while we were off-air!

Komachi: Wah, wah, wah! Such cuteness! Such appeal! Though it’s only been two minutes, I can tell you’ve already captured millions of hearts, Totsuka-chan! My Onii-chan would succumb to you the moment you ask, y’know! So you should confess and marry my Onii-chan right away! (☆ω☆)

Totsuka: P-please don’t tease me about things like that, Komachi-san! ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏< ･ﾟ｡

Komachi: I’m not teasing, teehee! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

Miura: Alright, alright, let’s keep going and just get this finished up. I’d like to get back to my typical, normal life, y’know? (￣ ￣|||)

Yukino: I shall plaintively agree on the basis that the sooner this farce ends the better. (¬ ¬ )

Totsuka: O-okay then, let’s continue! Miura-san, you can go first. I’ll go after you!

Miura: Well, like, the one that makes sense the most would be that Lyon Ryuu girl. Sure, the romance is contrived and all, but it’s the most developed, right? The girl’s either going to die near the end, or the relationship is going to “bear fruit.” That’s how drama’s go, right?

Totsuka: (／。＼)

Komachi: (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Yukino: (ﾉ_ヽ)

Miura: …this is the part where you’re all supposed to make fun of me for watching daytime drama.

Komachi: Waa! Waa! I get the star scene for the first time and now all my chances of being the spotlight have been taken away! This whole show isn’t going to work anymore! Baka Onii-chan, why did you have to make it so you only have a Dead End and a Good End possible! I thought you were a better gamer than this! You’re supposed to leave everyone guessing until the climax of the series! .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･.

Yukino: For someone who watches “daytime drama” you have a remarkable lack of knowledge regarding suspense, Yumiko-san. My goodness, aren’t you aware of the fact that flimsy and poorly-constructed storylines are entirely built upon suspense? The plot of the whole matter is barely held together, with whole books worth of plotlines being finished in a matter of a single chapter, so naturally the only true plot of this farce is the relationship between the characters themselves. Everything else is an excuse for characters to change without seemingly being weak-willed and incapable. ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ

Miura: The hell? This series seems pretty good, y’know? What are you saying about the plot being shit?! It’s obvious that some care and attention went towards planning how everything is going! I mean, the author changed up whole systems and made sure everyone is needed! It’s not like Hikigaya’s the perfect protagonist or anything! He’s actually shit, y’know!? (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

Yukino: It’s obvious that the series is wholly incapable of supporting itself without complete knowledge of the source material. You are mistaken in your belief that the whole “system” was changed to better the whole series as well. The changes were all made to simply allow the misbegotten author to simply hand wave away training montages. In short, this work is the pinnacle of laziness and self-aggrandizement. A Light Novel amongst Light Novels. Trash even amongst trash. As expected of Hikigaya-kun. (¬ ¬ )

Miura and Yukino: *Devolves to meaningless babble.*

Totsuka: Ahaahaha… we’re never going to get the spotlight again are we? Mou… and I just managed to finally get a chance to talk for the first time in this series… (╯︵╰,)

Komachi: There, there, Totsuka-chan! Even if those two judges aren’t listening, I still want to hear your pick! C’mon, let’s wrap up this show! It’ll be great, right! I’m sure that everyone wants to hear which person you’re rooting for! *offside* I’m pretty sure people only really care about what you think anyway… (*-_-)

Miura and Yukino: *Babbling.*

Totsuka: Y-you’re so nice, Komachi-san! Hachiman is really lucky to have an Imouto as nice as you! o(TヘTo)

Komachi: …you’re perfect. (´♡‿♡`)

Miura and Yukino: *Going for the throat.*

Totsuka: What was that?

Komachi: I said, I was wondering who you thought was perfect, of course!

Totsuka: Oh, well, I-I think that Wallenstein-chan is the best choice!

Miura/Yukino/Komachi: What?/Eh?/Nani?

Totsuka: W-well, since this is entirely hypothetical, we can disregard actual relationships right? I-I know that Wallenstein-chan is already with Cranel-kun! Hahaha! (⌒_⌒

Miura: Huh, didn’t think that’s how this was going to go… I suppose it would make sense in a daytime drama… huh… yeah… that does make sense…

Totsuka: She’s a nice, cool girl, right? The hero of her own story! She’s not afraid of anything and always wants to help everyone out! Hachiman would certainly like a girl like her if Cranel-kun wasn’t involved! The two of them can help one another! Like, wouldn’t it be great if Hachiman met Wallenstein instead and realized that she was the hero he was looking for all along? It would make sense, right? ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

Komachi: Totsuka-chan… which one of these characters are you exactly self-inserting into? My Onii-chan or… hmmm… I think I already the answer… Ganbare, Totsuka-chan, I hope you can accomplish all your dreams. It’s a long and hard road, but I’m sure that you can do it! (ｏ・_・)ノ”(ノ_

Totsuka: W-what do you mean by that!? I just think Wallenstein and Hachiman would be cute together! I’m not saying that Hachiman should’ve only focused on her since the very start or anything! It would’ve been great if that happened, right?

Yukino: …NTR is trash.

…

Naturally, Complications Occur (20.4)

…

There are many valid reasons why showing off is a stupid idea. However, the most prominent of those reasons would be that showing off gets you killed. Being too strong makes your enemies unwilling to confront you head on. People who try to get you will resort to being sneaky. They’ll try to be smart. Some won’t manage it and just die, but somewhere along the line they’ll get the idea to start working together, communicate, or hire someone competent. Before long, you’ll find yourself confronted by a plan centered entirely on destroying you, with plenty of resources behind it, while you’re out relaxing. Or, you know, just a large number of people of several different factions bullrushing you with everything that they can get their hands on.

Case in point: Evilus.

Evidence: Giant monster being pummeled by Orario’s XP hungry masses.

Now, I’m not really one to talk. I’d gone ahead and turned a certain person into a lawn ornament at Level 3. Maybe, if my opponent had been a Level 3, everything would’ve been fine. However, since I’d gone ahead and killed what everyone believed was the only counter to me, there were probably dozens of shady meetings happening focused on bringing me down. While I’m sure that I haven’t pissed off enough trash to worry about an army coming after me, there’s no telling who was planning to make me a non-threat, i.e retaliate first. I mean, if I’d found out some punk with magical powers killed my anti-magic warriors, I’d be scheming and planning a way to get rid of him immediately. While I may be overestimating my opponents by considering them to be competent planners, I wasn’t going to stop being cautious. I wouldn’t do anything to make more enemies while my situation was tenuous, or rush all my plans forward because I was afraid of being caught.

You know, basically what Evilus did without a second thought.

Showing off was reserved for the invisible, the untouchable, and those with a death wish. Seriously, at the start, Evilus barely killed anyone with their first attack. All they did was piss people off and have people look for them. They followed that up by killing Familias or members of Familias, thus making more enemies. Then, finally, when the noose was tightening, instead of lying low they decided to go all-in like a bunch of idiots. Now here they were, at their last stand, being destroyed by the Loki Familia and everyone else who they pissed off.

Now, I wasn’t complaining that the villains were being idiots. I welcomed fighting idiots. However, unfortunately, their little plan was messing with my plan to lay low. They were effectively fucking up my plans by being idiots. Ergo, they were failures at failing. That was just plain terrible. Honestly, were they really cut out for being villains? First they had a shit name, and now their most terrible act to me, the reason why I was fighting them, was because they were making it inconvenient for me to lay low.

I guess, given that Zaimokuza’s main series couldn’t be overtly affected by this side story, the villains naturally had to be incredibly incompetent.

…

“T-this is incredible!” Andromeda’s commentary made me feel like I was getting too much attention. Running commentary on my actions, like this was some anime on a children’s card game or a tennis match, sure was an easy way to elevate the tension. What shitty writing is this? Seriously, even though Perseus used up all her bombs and the sky is filled up with spells, she could be doing something else with all her artifacts. Floating a few meters behind me and spouting words isn’t exactly selling her as a competent protagonist, y’know? “So it’s true, Hikigaya, you have infinite Mind!”

I held up the monster in the sky. My Mage Gauntlet was growing hot. If it was hot to me now, I was sure I’d have already burned my hand if I was still a Level 1. I suppose there are reasons why staves exist. Wood would’ve exploded instead of turning into a heated rod. I was going to have to look into heat resistant material. Weirdly enough, the thought of grinding away in the Dungeon sounded really good. It was familiar. It may have been work, which was terrible in any event, but it was better than trying to follow the plotlines springing up everywhere. I was going to have to start being careful of who I talked to. Side quests were good for XP, but that didn’t mean I had to go involving myself with everyone’s problems. That was creepy, y’know?

Anyway, I didn’t bother answering the obvious, I just did my best to limit the damage this storyline would have on Orario.

“How much longer can you hold that creature up, Hikigaya-san?” Deimne, you really need to invest in a watch. Hmmm, wait, how much did a watch cost? Huh, I suppose that most didn’t bring such fragile things into the Dungeon. I doubted delicate clockwork would be able to survive going through the daily lives of Adventurers. Augh, I just jinxed myself didn’t I? The next spin-off is going to be a 4-koma gag comic strip collection. As expected of Zaimokuza, all that tubby bastard’s going to do is coast off his own success! “Riveria is readying herself for another attack, as is Lefiya. They ought to end this battle decisively.”

“It’ll hold for another salvo.” I turned towards the two Elves. The amount of power they gave off was ridiculous. I had to build up for hours and hours to reach the same amount, while all they had to do was utter a thirty-second speech and wave their hands. Elves needed to be debuffed! Magic is too damned strong to give any race an affinity for it! What’s the point of making the best armor, or having the most people, if an Elf can come along and ruin your day with a single well-trained Mage?! Scratch that! All Elves, regardless of their occupation, can always ruin a day with their mere presence! “After that all I’ll be able to do is throw lightning around.”

“A real shame that would be,” Deimne chuckled. Thank goodness he did. I was about to start worrying that I wasn’t good enough (lol). Ha, as if! I’m at the point of combat where I’m only getting stupidly stronger as time goes on! Firmum Momentum may take far too long to charge up, making it useless at the start, but it’s definitely the joke skill that lets people no-sell bosses at the end of a stage! The Braver gave a hum, hanging back and analyzing the situation, before nodding. “I am sure this monster will be finished by the next Salvo. If not, both the Ganesha and Freya Familias will arrive and its fate will be sealed nonetheless.”

There was a second issue I had with this entire scenario. I wasn’t about to be an idiot and even think certain lines which would get my ass kicked, but I couldn’t help but be suspicious. Evilus had been a huge issue. They’d killed a lot of people, including several Level 5s, and attacked Orario with fanatics. True, they were found out and were now facing all of Orario, but shouldn’t this sort of thing be part of their plans? I mean, even if they’re fanatics without care for death, I doubted the same could be said for their leaders. Leaders used fanatics as tools, weren’t fanatics themselves, and had clear conditions for winning that involved them staying alive. Source: anyone with half a brain. Typically speaking, for villains, staying alive was an important caveat to being “victorious.”

So, I had every reason to believe that this was just the start of a shitstorm.

A massive monster attack on Orario, followed by a giant monster attack, and finally something else in another few months.

Was this some movie-spinoff series or an OVA? Ah, who am I kidding. One spinoff doesn’t mean that this farce is good enough for actual theatres or Blu-ray specials. Yeah, that was definitely out of the question. Though, I supposed that Zaimokuza would be the shitty kind of writer who’d simply build off the work of others. Yeah, that sounded better. Cranel and everyone else would probably get involved with Evilus sometime in the future. While it would seem like the new bad guys came out of nowhere, they’d actually have a background in the spin-off series! Yep. That sounds like something someone with zero integrity (Zaimokuza), no hint of shame (Zaimokuza), or lacking an ounce of originality would do (Zaimokuza.) He was going to force his fanbase to buy a whole other set of novels to get the whole story! You tubby bastard, I can’t believe you’re making me proud of you for the first time! You’re still a bastard, though.

Anyway, yadda, yadda, yadda, magic was launched, the giant monster died, and there was probably a big speech by the Braver to everyone who came to fight the damn thing.

I say probably because I had a Final Boss to talk to and get things straight with rather than hear it.

…

“Deal with your own problems, bastard.” Introducing myself poignantly, I entered my former office while Fels sat in my former chair. I closed the bookshelf as I entered. The spindly, robed, and thin Secret Boss looked up from the main ledger of my business. He closed the massive book with a thud. With a gesture of his hand, it flew back to its place on the shelves. What a massive show off. Do you think I care that you can move things with magic? Because, if you did think that way, you’d be right. How much does that Spell cost, exactly? “You could’ve handled that entire situation yourself, without a problem, so stop involving everyone else.”

“I would if I could, Hikigaya-san, but I cannot. I am flattered that you think so highly of me. However, I am not nearly as proficient as you think I am.” Fels rose from the chair. With another gesture of his armored hands, the blinds behind my table opened. Hahahaha! You thought that was a window didn’t you, idiot? You didn’t even check the whole office you’ve been given!? Seriously!? Paranoia: 1. Dramatic speeches: -9999. There isn’t a window there, just a bunch of Mage Lights! Bwahahahahah! “…I should really not be surprised that your paranoia wouldn’t have allowed you to make a window.”

“…” Masks hid smirks very well. If there was a god that was a patron of masks, I thanked him. Anyway, try to play as cool as you want, Fels. You totally look like an idiot now! Don’t you remember that this building’s back is attached to another one? It’s basic logic that those blinds are just for show! I suppose you couldn’t even be bothered to check a place’s layout and keep track of where you are! “…I can see that.”

“…Ouranos-sama and myself are reactive forces due to Orario’s nature. We can act, but only with information, and we are dearly lacking in that commodity.” Fels gestured towards me. No, towards the safe from which I’d taken my savings. It swung open after its key turned. “We acquire funds by supplying the world with Magic Items through the Guild. With those funds, we create quests of tasks we need finished.” It was filled to the brim with Elixirs, solid gold bars, and gems. It had about the same amount of Valis I’d taken out of it. “However, even with our resources, we cannot be everywhere and account for everything. I am able, I’ve had to be to ensure Orario survived all these centuries, but I cannot be everywhere.”

“Then find actual people to work with, not pawns and surrogates.” I ignored the Valis and the artifacts. I kept my gaze on him. “Gather a Familia, get Adventurers, and give them missions like regular gods.”

“A regular god like that of yours and Orimoto-san’s?”

…In hindsight, I should’ve expected that Mr. Final Boss already figured that part out.

…