However, Nothing Stays The Same. (14.1)

…

The ballroom was grand, opulent, and massive. There were hundreds of tables and each one was being attended to by a waiter. Having a buffet-style serving station would've been far too mundane for a bunch of gods. Food streamed out on platters, each one probably cooked to order, and the menu involved had at least fifteen options for all three courses. All the circular, communal tables surrounded a dancing floor that was before an immense, elevated stage. There must've have been a thousand people present, yet they all ate, drank, told stories, and danced without threat of rubbing shoulders with one another.

What a nightmare this must be to animate. In the Light Novel it would be easy to hide the scale by just focusing on Cranel and Wallenstein for everything, but they'd probably have to resort to still pictures for this wonderful waste of wealth. I wasn't complaining as much as I expected since the food was excellent. My compliments to the overworked, poor chef in the background. May you one day make food good enough to cause scenes straight out of a doujinshi! Hopefully without the generic Tsundere love interest, but don't get your hopes up buddy!

Anyway, everyone was clustered around a group of tables. Since the Loki Familia was so massive they were spread out amongst three or so of the tables. The rest of the Familias and I were interspersed among them. Somehow, I found myself sitting next to Filvis Challia with Dionysus nowhere in sight. That blonde pretty boy better be making the moves on Hestia or Loki and not Hecate, dammit! Keep your playboy antics away from one of the gods I actually respect you damn Riajuu!

Loga, Arde, Wallenstein, Cranel, Landrock, Deimne, and the Hiryutes were all present. Ten to a table, it would seem, but there was an empty seat since either Loki and Hestia barged in once in a while. With everyone clad in respectable clothes, though the choices that both the Amazons wore looked like springtime dresses Zaimokuza modified with a pair of scissors, one could almost think that we're just having a normal, formal party.

It would've been a more pleasant experience if someone actually talked to me. There was a suspicious amount of blank-eyed expressions on people's faces today. Though I'd worried that I'd be recognized from the days I spent crazy, it was more like no one knew who I was. Normally, I'd love the lack of attention, but with everyone talking (or insulting one another like Loga and Arde) I felt distinctly out of place.

Jeez, I know that Challia has the excuse of not knowing me very well, but shouldn't a Genki-girl like Hiryute Tiona be making a scene and generally acting cheerful despite the circumstances?

Anyway, once I ate my fill, I decided it was time to 'mingle.'

Something plot-relevant was going to happen in this dance. I felt it in my bones. Hopefully, however, it wasn't going to be a false-positive and just end up with something like Cranel finally confessing to Wallenstein or tripping dozens of flags.

Everyone knows that kid's tripped enough flags.

…

I have to admit, I had had very high expectations of the people attending the party. Somehow, after interacting with smart and intelligent people for an extended period of time, I had forgotten that most people were just brain dead idiots.

Every male god I managed to find was doing one of three things.

1. Talking about 'tits.'

2. Talking about 'ass.'

3. Talking which of the two was better.

Zaimokuza, it seems that since you've forgotten to give them personalities, all the male gods are basically how you would act if you ever got good looks and the right to say what you want. As expected, they're all perverts with the attention span of a goldfish that deserve every slap to the face that they get.

Anyway, I decided to take a break from society for a fair amount of time and simply went to the bar. I wasn't going to drink, especially since I didn't want to make a fool of myself, but I'd spent enough time at the Hostess of Fertility to know that people's lips loosened around bars. Settling into the furthest stool of the massive bar, I ordered a drink, and simply waited and listened.

"Is this seat taken?"

Naturally, someone immediately asked if they could take a seat at my side. There were many empty stools since the night was still young. The people I intended to eavesdrop on weren't very deep into their cups as of yet, but there was six empty stools between us just for safety. My, my, I must be popular. Not.

"..." Naturally, I was suspicious, but I feigned disinterest. I really hoped that Stealth Hikki would activate. Besides that fact, wasn't this what I was looking for? Something strange and mysterious? What hits those marks more than someone electing to sit by someone despite all the empty stools? "No, go ahead."

Whoever they were, they settled on the chair to my right, and ordered a drink. A few moments passed, the guys further down made a sleazy comment, and I noticed Cranel chatting with Wallenstein at their shared table. Hestia was fuming at the sidelines, along with Mikoto. Eh, Cranel, where's your elven maiden? You know it's very improper for a Harem Protagonist to lose track of one of his 'friends!' For all you know, you could be in the process of being NTR'd! That sleazebag Zaimokuza seems to be the sort of person to have such a sick fetish.

"Hmmm… you don't talk very much, do you Hikigaya-sensei?" I blinked at the sudden, casual dropping of my name. I didn't immediately turn towards my neighbor, but did so slowly and carefully. "From what Nelly's told me about you, I half expected you to start yelling at me the moment I sat down by your side."

"Hermes-sama, I apologize for my inattentiveness." I gave a short bow, which the blonde god waved off with a smile and chuckle. Despite the formal nature of the event, the god was still dressed in his usual 'wild west' theme. I shouldn't have been surprised, given that Hecate was the only god I knew who wore anything close to normal, but Hermes's clothing always struck me as odd. Not as odd as the bra-string that Hestia has, but nothing can top that. "You wanted to speak to me about something?"

"Oh? Why so serious, Hikigaya-sensei?" There was a definite edge to Hermes's smile that set my nerves on the edge. Another Yukinoshita came to mind, one that was serious when needed, but enjoyed playing far too much. Blonde hair and blue eyes didn't match the terrifying individual I had in mind, but I wasn't about to lower my guard. There was more to this than just small talk. "Can't a god talk to his children's sensei and savior?"

"Nelly saved herself and I haven't been her teacher for a long time." I shook my head as I cut straight to the point. Though I had probably found what I wanted, the 'plot,' Hermes's smile, narrow eyes, and carefree demeanor didn't sit well with me. There was no one around, but there were rumors that Andromeda was always close to her god. That meant the Hermes Familia was much stronger than they appeared. "If anything, she saved my life two weeks ago, not the other way around."

"But, she wouldn't have been able to if not for your friend Orimoto's Skill, right?" Ah, that's the game that was being played. Looking over Hermes, I knew I should've seen the signs sooner. Miach, Dionysus, and Hestia had reacted well to the last-ditch effort mounted by 'my' Familia member to save their lives. As expected, there was going to be someone who wouldn't be at all pleased. The whimsical smile the god gave me was very brittle. "It sure was lucky that 'Orimoto' was there the day an Arcanum was used to summon two Aberrations and a Calamity, wasn't it? My student, most assuredly, wouldn't have been able to save herself or you without her aid."

"…you think my Familia is trying to steal Nelly and everyone else who went with me." I didn't bother with the wordplay. I met Hermes's brittle smile with a glare. Jealousy. The pretense and the undercurrent of hostility was born all out of paranoia due to loss. As if he had any right to think of Nelly as someone who belonged to him. I took a breath. No. That was the case for Orario. Hell, that was the case for this entire world. In the end, Hermes was in the right and I was in the wrong. "Allow me to apologize then, Hermes-sama. I can't offer you evidence that it isn't true besides my words alone." I lowered my head in another bow, despite how wrong it was to acknowledge someone owning another person, towards the god. "Nelly is of your Familia and my own has no intention of changing that fact."

"…" Hermes was silent this time. However, judging from the sudden intensity of his gaze, he was searching for something from me. Gods were all remarkably good at reading the people of Orario, which was probably why there was a reason people believed they could tell if was lying or not. That was untrue given that gods lied to one another and there were many miscreants abusing the Falna despite coming from 'honest' Familias. I had a lot of practice in lying and keeping my features unreadable. However, in this case, I truly wasn't lying. There was, after all, no Familia for Nelly to leave Hermes for. So, even if I was wrong or not as skilled as I believed I was, I was still 'safe.' "Nelly said that you offered the same to your other students. Hestia's I understand, given your rapport with her children. But you met Dionysus mere weeks ago and Miach's child-."

"Erisuis would sooner tear off her other arm than leaving Miach-sama." I interrupted just as I gave a sigh of relief. Hermes was perceptive and cautious. How the god managed to gather all that information without anyone of my informants finding out was… worrying, but even I could see that the blonde god was simmering down and allowing the pieces to fall into place. "And, why would I have allowed the offer to be extended to Laulos, knowing Apollo's propensity for young, powerful, heroic, and young men?"

"…You said young twice, there."

"I meant to, yes."

"I see." Hermes took a sip of his untouched drink, gave a grimace, and then shook his head. A sigh came forth from the god and some of his youth faded from him. A familiar, haggard look formed upon his features. One that I had seen before on Dionysus's face. "I make no excuse for my paranoia, Hikigaya-sensei. You and I both know that Orario has become more and more dangerous these past few months." A grim chuckle escaped his lips, followed by a bitter smile. "Please, forgive a god for not wanting to lose a child a mere month after losing another."

"Ah, Lulune Louie." I briefly remembered Nelly telling me about the sudden, mysterious death of a Level 3 in her Familia. I hadn't paid that fact the attention it deserved before asking my human student to join me fight the Goliath. I should've considered the ramifications of such a thing before doing so, really. "I'm afraid I can only offer my condolences for worrying you further, Hermes-sama."

"No, actually, I think that you can do more than that." There was a note of finality to Hermes's tone that surprised me. The melancholy that enveloped him dissipated quickly. "Dionysus's children, save for Filvis Challia, were all killed in the last few months." He produced a piece of paper from within his odd, multicolored coat. "They were all killed the same way: their necks twisted and their belongings searched."

"The same happened to Louie-san?" I connected the dots with a frown. The piece of paper was… a mortician's report. I skimmed until I found the report on the wounds involved. The head had been completely twisted off. No signs of struggle. Instant death. "The strength needed to do that to a Level 3 would mean-."

"That's not my Adventurer's mortician report." Hermes interrupted softly. His hand curled into the fist. "That's Ganesha's Adventurer: Hasharna."

"…" I nearly dropped the piece of paper. Not because Hermes probably stole it from one of the most powerful Familias in Orario, but because I knew who Hasharna was. A ball formed in my throat. 'Hard Fist Fighter' Hasharna had been a Level 4. He was known to be capable of wrestling with dragons and boasted ridiculous Strength and Endurance. He even had Skills to boost them even further. "…That would mean that the murderer would have to be…"

"An Adventurer of at least Level 6." Hermes finishes. "Or a monster of that caliber capable of stalking through Orario unnoticed."

My mind went back to the humanoid monster I'd fought just a month ago. How powerful it had been and how it turned into strange, black crystal upon dying. How many of those could now be walking through the city streets, wearing regular clothes, and going unnoticed?

The Dungeon had a cruel and capricious intelligence.

Who's to say that it couldn't learn?

…

Friends.

…

Somehow, someway, the gravesite was perfectly intact. Though Under Resort was a mass of forest, cracked earth, and cliff faces, the Astraea Family's final resting place was still present. The monument of my cowardice still stood tall.

I didn't know if I should've been relieved or frustrated.

If a Calamity could not erase my past, what hope did I have of fixing it myself?

"Whoa, how lucky! I can't believe I found you so quickly!" I didn't expect the sudden intrusion, which was surprising given the acuity of my senses. Perhaps I dulled instinctively. After all, I had once poured all my effort into hearing, seeing, and sensing nothing in Under Resort once upon a time. "I thought I'd have to spend an hour tracking you down! Hilarious, right?"

"…" I didn't know what to say. Kaori Orimoto was Hachiman's polar opposite. Cheery, bright-eyed, and very spirited. She had met him with an immense smile and barely constrained joy. Despite his own words, I was sure that Hachiman was closer to her than he implied he was. The two complemented one another too much. It was Frustrating. "You've found me, Orimoto-san. Do you need me for something?"

"Orimoto! Jeez, you don't need to be so formal with me! Call me Kaori!" Orimoto moved quickly. Light footsteps thudded against the dirt. Very good movement. Intensely mindful. Rapid and short. Abound with energy and always on the brink of flight. To better make up for Hachiman's lethargic and calculating gait, I supposed. "Any friend of Hikigaya-kun's is a friend of mine!"

"…" Friends. Was I friends with Hachiman? True, my heart had stilled as Cranel had brought him unconscious in the room. I'm sure that I'd forgotten to breathe until I saw his chest rise and focused until I heard his heartbeat. Very nearly, I thought I was back at Under Resort as I looked on my friends fall and never rise again. Why hadn't I volunteered to help them against the Goliath? Lent them my experience? I could've done much in the ensuing disaster. Wouldn't a friend have been present then? "…I don't think that such a title could be applied to me, Orimoto-san."

"What?" Orimoto's brows furrowed. Beneath her bangs of wavy hair, there seemed to be a glint of frustration in the human's eyes. It faded away quickly and was replaced with cheer and pomp. One hand was on her hip and the other wagging before my face. "Listen up, missy, I don't know who you are, but you're most definitely Hikigaya-kun's friend no matter what you or he thinks!"

I wanted to speak against those words, but Orimoto didn't seem to be in the mood to allow me to speak. A part of me, however, was relieved by her words.

"Hikigaya doesn't like admitting he's friends with someone, or care for people at all, but it's obvious that he cares about you, his students, and that Amazon!" Orimoto gave a swift huff and shook her head. "And, you're here keeping him safe just like a friend would! So you obviously care about him!" The argument wasn't very well said. In all honesty it was almost surreally blunt. Ridiculously far from Hikigaya's usual manner of speaking. "So, you're his friend, and that's that!"

Strangely enough, as opaque the reasoning was, I couldn't help but feel the slightest amount of relief at hearing those words.

Hachiman was still alive. He lived and breathed to this day. I was guarding, protecting him at this very moment.

I wasn't the one being protected and wasn't that all that mattered?

…

Help.

…

"So, you know Hikigaya-kun pretty well, eh, Lyon?" Kaori Orimoto liked to talk. I realized this fact as we made our way back to Rivira. The town was bustling in its reconstruction. Probably because of the archer's own efforts. The people of the town looked to her as a leader and she led them well. Hikigaya preferred to mediate opinions and compromise. "So, how has he been?"

"…" I took a moment to consider the question. They were of the same Familia. How long and how well have they known one another? Oddly enough, I felt myself hesitant to answer her question. Was she asking about his health, after losing his arm, or his general activities? I didn't know what I could or should say. I chose to compromise. "…He seems to be focusing on the problem at hand rather than his own."

"I see, yeah, that sounds like what Hikigaya-kun will do." My lips pursed at the casual acknowledgement. They've been separated for years. Yet, Orimoto seems to know him so well. "He really likes to fix up other people's problems instead of his own!" The gleam of understanding in her gaze grew more bearable after a moment. "But, I'm glad the people in Orario aren't taking his help for granted, you know? He's got loads of people helping him out now!"

I could only stare at her as a smile split her face and she gave a deft nod. Despite her actions, I noticed that an air of melancholy followed her words. Perhaps even regret and lament. Orimoto Kaori hid it beneath cheer and pretense. I didn't know if I should pity her or not.

"I… wasn't much help to him back when we first met. I'm sure that I didn't treat him very well, either. Still, though, we meet after a few years apart and he's already helping me out! Hilarious, right?" It is anything but humorous. The facts ere plain to my eyes despite the words and actions she made. I had a feeling that, much like myself and Hikigaya, Orimoto has suffered very much. The archer scratched at the back of her head, a false smile still on her face. "Hey, listen, ummm… I really appreciate that you're helping him out. He does too! He might not say it, but I'm sure that he does!"

"...You do not need to convince me to continue helping Hikigaya-kun." Slowly, I shook my head. I kept my gaze towards the city. however, I saw Orimoto dart her gaze downward. For someone who liked to speak, she wasn't very good at talking. Behind all her words, it was easy to discern that she was trying to convince me to never falter helping Hikigaya… because she couldn't. "As you said yourself, I'm his friend." You ignore the urge to call him your friend. Possessiveness is unbecoming. "I would help him even without his thanks for doing so."

She is silent for moment.

"Yeah." Orimoto's voice is very meek. Very different from the girl you first met. "Real friends would, wouldn't they?"

…

Worry.

…

Liliruca Arde. I knew very little about the Pallum. However, if she was taught by Hikigaya, I had little reason to doubt her skill in combat. Hikigaya's awareness of weaknesses and propensity towards stacking the odds in his favor was perhaps the best method to approach the Dungeon. A simple, brutal strategy for a simple, brutal situation.

However, Arde lacked something that Hikigaya took for granted, which in the end made her an incapable leader. Perhaps Hikigaya knew this, perhaps he didn't, but nonetheless the evidence was right before my eyes.

The Pallum sat straight and was completely composed on the chair she sat upon, but I've seen that look many times before in the Hostess of Fertility, of those who made a mistake and resorted to inebriation. I knew that the Pallum wouldn't resort to such methods, if only because of her respect for her teacher, however… stress had ways of breaking people down.

I knew that fact very well.

Of course, seeing oneself as an incapable leader and a failure to the person who they trusted the most, would send anyone into turmoil. She had claimed seniority, commanded the most respect, and yet one of their number has joined their current enemy.

"…" I remembered Orimoto's words. About how Hikigaya sometimes forgot to take some simpler things into account, even if they were simply right before his eyes. Then, what if the problem in question was being deliberately hidden? I had a feeling that he missed this particular problem completely. I didn't have to say anything, especially as I didn't personally know the girl… but, I had stated that I would help Hikigaya regardless whether he knew of my actions or not. I would be a liar if I didn't intercede. " …Arde, may I sit next to you?"

"Ah?" Arde was startled, as anyone would be if they were lost to their own thoughts. I noticed that, out of her usual clothes, she was a very small individual. Small and frail. Almost too tiny for a Level 3. There was tiredness in her eyes. "Oh, Lyon-san." She dipped her head, even as a flash of indecision appeared in her eyes. "Sure. Nelly and Erisuis are both preparing to leave, feel free to stay here until we're finished taking account of our supplies, we should be leaving in-."

"I didn't ask for a report on your progress." I shook my head, both to convey my disinterest and mask some of my building pity. Arde would not accept pity. I would not in her place either. Not after everything she's accomplished, despite her terrible circumstances. I mulled over what to say in the silence that ensued. I didn't know what to do. I supposed, for now, all I could do was be present and think. "I am asking if you would mind my company."

"…No." Arde stared at me for a moment. The Pallum blinked rapidly for a few moments and shook her head. Some of the fugue that suffused her faded away and she immediately became more focused. Good. "Of course not."

What had Syr done for me that day she found me? After I had spent myself to the point I was dying of exhaustion? What were the words that allowed me to accept her help, such a long time ago?

"…would you care to share a meal with me?" I found a smile working its way onto my lips for a moment. I wondered if my own face had the same, sudden look of surprise as was on Arde's. "I've found myself to be quite hungry and eating alone, especially in such a strange place, is less than appealing."

I didn't have much practice in being kind or considerate, but I supposed that it would be remiss of me to not do my best to pass on what had been given to me by one of my closest friends for the sake another.

…

However, Nothing Stays The Same. (14.2)

…

Asfi Al Andromeda "Perseus" was the typical "cool beauty" that Zaimokuza would never admit he had massive crushes on. Long hair or short hair. Short or tall. The tubby bastard liked girls who were calm, collected, and had good prospects in the corporate workforce. While I couldn't discredit him for the last component, since I wanted to be a househusband, I had to question his reasoning behind the former two. From my memory, he told me he liked them because he wanted a girl who could be the background to his magnificence, the pillar to his genius, and the infinite competence behind his unending stupidity.

Wait, I added that last one in. Oops. Teehee.

Anyway, after Hermes told me all he could, he instantly defaulted toward Andromeda. While the god managed to get my attention, his minder managed to supply me with facts and information that I truly needed. Matters like why they thought it was a monster and not some overpowered, serial killer adventurer, and evidence that proved that a lot of the Level 5s and 6s of the city were innocent of the blame. The blue-haired girl told me: while Alf usually had the resting face of a demented, sociopathic axe murderer, most of the Loki Familia was on an expedition deep in the dungeons, Hikigaya-san. So that means she can't possibly be the killer. Of course, I added in key points of information I was already aware of onto the information presented.

"And, that's that, Hikigaya-san." Asfi Al Andromeda pushed up her glasses in the typical "light glinting off the lenses"-style that Zaimokuza wished he could pull off. Yep, my conversation with the turquoise-haired inventor was indeed very informative. I learned three things: there's definitely a monster hunting adventurers down, that I should be on the lookout for offers to carry unmarked packages, and that Zaimokuza has self-inserted as a god. You tubby bastard, you've set yourself up as a cowboy-themed, handsome, and mysterious gentleman with a beautiful secretary! If you had an ounce of shame in your body, you would have died honorably a long time ago! Don't worry though, I'll be sure to carry out the wishes of your ancestors when I get back! "Do you have any further questions?"

"None." I shook my head. A sigh was building up in the back of my throat. However, the cool sensei only sighed when their students did something idiotic. Unfortunately, the character archetype I chose did not allow for sighing in irritation over something problematic. Isn't that sad? There were so many sighs I could've used. An exasperated sigh, because Zaimokuza was blatantly being idiotic with the number of plotlines going on, was one of them. However, there were plenty of other options. I was leaning toward a resigned sigh, something that hinted at my tiredness over the situation, but I was sure that my character didn't have any "inside" jokes in his repertoire. That was for the idiotic relief character. I suspected that it was Loga's job. "I'll get you the information you want, Andromeda-san. I can either hand it off to you personally or give it to Nelly."

"As long as it reaches me within a week's time, I do not care which method you choose." Andromeda's reply was swift, precise, and somewhat rude. The turquoise-haired inventor immediately stood and bowed to dismiss herself. Some would see those words as an insult. Offer two options and both get rejected? I can imagine a lot of people would be irked. However, as the wise, intelligent man I am, I knew better. It was an opportunity for me to delegate and not have to see a human being and talk to them, so I was appropriately thankful towards Zaimokuza's fantasy wife. On behalf of human society, I apologize for the reason behind your creation, Asfi Al Andromeda. "Thank you for your time and consideration, Hikigaya-san."

"You have my thanks, as well, Andromeda-san." I gave my own, small bow in return. Andromeda seemed surprised by my actions, so I strived to answer the unsaid question. I will not raise a flag with Zaimokuza's dream girl by giving comments that might be construed as flirting. That was a good way to get killed off. True, I could theoretically survive what was sent my way and NTR Zaimokuza, but I've said it once before, and I'll say it again, NTR is a trash fetish. So, in conclusion, leaving some half-assed flag between myself and Andromeda was a stupid idea. "You can't imagine how hard it is to find someone concise and intelligent to speak to in Orario." I gave another nod. No smiles here. Absolutely none. "I look forward to working with you in the future, Andromeda-san."

"I approve of your seriousness in this matter, as well, Hikigaya-san." Andromeda gave her own, curt nod in response. Whereas a normal farewell could end up with something odd happening, I minimized chances of a "blushing" event happening by turning away from the turquoise-haired inventor after that sentence. As expected, my action generated awkwardness. The sort of awkwardness that blocked flags by ridding the environment of "romance." It was effective. As expected of one of my 108 Hachiman Skills. "…I look forward to working with you, as well, Hikigaya-san."

At that, Andromeda departed, and I assumed she took Zaimokuza/Hermes with her…

Until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hikigaya-kun." Instead of a threat, I was surprised to hear a plea drift into my ear. Hermes grasped my hand with two of his own. The blond-haired, blue-eyed, and perverted god had tear-filled eyes. What the hell is this development? "Please, promise me, no matter how mean, blunt, and coarse Asfi becomes, you'll always be nice to her like this. This Kami-sama always sees his child being ignored and secluded, but she really just needs friends…" A hand suddenly engulfed his head. Andromeda's face was a mask of contempt and anger. Her alabaster features were accentuated by the vivid, angry flush on her cheeks. "No! Asfi-chan! Don't do this! He's the only person we've found capable of being nice to you! It can't end like this! Not like this!"

Andromeda offered no answer, instead choosing to march out of the ballroom with a vice grip on Hermes's head.

…So, apparently, Zaimokuza was a closet masochist.

Nice to know.

…

There's always a moment in any situation where time is meaningless. Well, at least for loners like myself. While most partygoers would find themselves flirting, making faces at one another, or drinking, my fellows and I would be suspended in social purgatory. Typically speaking, I would turn the occasion into an opportunity and leave immediately, but I couldn't leave the God's Banquet no matter how much I wanted to. Though I'd managed to get an inkling of the upcoming murder-mystery arc, there were still other matters that needed attending to.

Namely, the current event and all the flags that Cranel was going to be tripping within it.

"Ah, Sensei, you're back!"

Oi, brat, you shouldn't smile like that to anyone but your date. Don't you know that girls can easily get jealous?

Cranel looked every bit the harem protagonist he was supposed to be in his formal wear. There were quite a few glances from the unnamed, unimportant masses towards him. Both male and female. Truly, his appeal was not to be underestimated.

"Where have you been?"

"Just went to talk with someone… interesting." I did my best to forget Zaimokuza's self-insert character as I took one of the empty seats at Cranel's table. With everyone having finished eating dinner, most were mingling with other groups. In the corner of my eye, I could see performers setting up their instruments. The dancing portion of this little scene was about to begin. Given Zaimokuza's lack of literary talent, I was sure it was just going to be the colored centerfold of the light novel. "You enjoying yourself, brat?"

"Well, um, it's sort of scary to be looked at by so many people, but I guess that's what happens when you come here with someone as amazing as A-Aiz-chan!" I had to wonder if he was being glared at jealously by all the men or if they had ulterior motives for him as well. I mean, Cranel wasn't Totsuka, but there's no denying with his voice, figure, and face-, no. That way of thought lies in the Ebina-dimension. It is a place that is dark and full of BL. Erase and delete. Yes, all those men are simply jealous of your stunning date, Brat. "Ummm, ah, well…" Cranel poked the ends of his fingers together as he tried to find his words. I nudged him so he would go ahead and voice his issue. "S-sensei, could you give me advice on dancing? I-I was raised on a farm, so I don't really know how to—."

Grunting, I checked if there was space available before rising and offering him my hand.

"S-Sensei!?"

"What, how do you expect to learn besides doing it yourself, Brat?" I had faith that Cranel could learn a simple box step with just a few repetitions. Quite frankly, with all his wall running, high jumping, and knife antics, he could probably sweep the ballroom floor with proper instruction. Why would I waste time explaining moves to him when I could just have him go through the motions and learn far more quickly? "Besides, this is already part of the dance, Brat. A man should never wait for their date to ask them to dance."

For a moment, Cranel only stared at my offered, gloved hand, but soon enough he looked away, hiding his face in shadow, and took my invitation by placing his palm atop mine. I heard a few errant words slip from his lips as he did. How "calm," "remember," and "Onee-sans" joined together, I didn't know, but I didn't care enough to find out.

With that, I went through the moves for a simple box dance. Forward, to the right, back, then left. Very simple. The effortless workhorse of living males everywhere. I had to make do with only one hand, but my footwork was decent and Cranel was more than capable of reading body cues.

Cranel's face was red as we began, probably because he was worried about our difference in height. I'm sorry, brat, but I'm sure you already noticed that Wallenstein is taller than you. Hell, most of the girls present are taller than you. Unfortunately for you, you weren't born into a glorious, modern society with plenty of sugar and fat available to fuel your growth spurt. Just because you only reach my chest in height and have to follow my lead, doesn't mean anything! If you pay attention, Brat, I'm sure that you could be the lead when dancing with Wallenstein.

Have some confidence, look up and straight instead of being wide eyed and frantic, and be a damned man!

Stop making this weird!

…

However, Nothing Stays The Same. (14.3)

…

No matter what anyone tells you, parties are never just celebrations. Like everything else in life, there's always a reason for everything that takes place.

In family circles, parties are markers of the passing of childhood and impending adulthood. Hope you liked being 12, kid, because you're 13 now! Five more years until I can really threaten to throw you out of my house! Children go from having carefree lives with pocket money into teenagers who realize that each birthday means the impending loss of their freedom.

Normal people would probably become stressed as each party marks their growing age and impending adulthood. When they get a house or an apartment, they'll have to host their own birthday parties because they won't have any rich, extraordinary friends, and in the end they'll have to spend lots of money to just know they're one year closer to dying.

Should you be a loner, each and every party you had with your family on your birthdays and holidays will probably just make you cry yourself to sleep when you find yourself without friends, living alone in a single apartment, and eating a slice of convenience store cake. There's not much money lost in this particular case, but being alone on a day where you'd always been surrounded by family before always hurts.

Only filthy riajuus would ever be happy with the social "traditions" of parties. Given that they'll have tons of friends and people at their parties, they'll always get a decent return on their time and monetary investment. Hell, with their number of friends, it's very likely that they're not going to spend a dime on their birthdays! Normal people and loners will always only lose when we try to celebrate anything!

If you're any kind of decent parent, please never teach your kids to value celebrating holidays or birthdays. You'll be saving them money, heartache, and a lot of their self-worth. Be a good parent, please.

Anyway, parties held for the public by the rich are a different beast, but also never just for the sake of the people. Image, power, and influence are all increased when a rich person decides to ply their money toward feeding, entertaining, and "enriching" many, many lives at once. To enemies they show that they're so beyond them that they can afford to waste money. Friends are made closer friends. Strangers start to think better of people who they've never met. People will talk about it for months on end, years if it's grand enough, and forever if they're conducted in a timely manner.

With money alone, a person can increase their renown within the entire city.

Those who host parties want more power than they already have, are vying for more influence and control, and wish to intimidate their enemies.

Meaning, of course, that grand, impressive parties can really only be hosted by one kind of person: a ruler.

Needless to say, I'm very interested in finding out who was currently winning the race to control Orario.

…

"You need to be less reliable, Hikigaya-sensei!" Just after I sent Cranel off to make sure he invited Wallenstein to dance, I found myself accosted. Hestia and her Hestias halted me for a split second. The Oppai-Loli goddess wasn't wearing her typical clothes, wearing a cardigan over a plain white dress, making her less of a challenge to look at directly. Still, even without String-chan, there was no denying Hestia's Hestias were formidable opponents to a man who had to look down at her to meet her gaze. I persevered and focused my attention on her pout and crossed arms. Well, mostly her pout. "Muuu… Bell-kun should've asked me to teach him how to dance!"

"Hestia-sama." I addressed her as I usually did, but looked her over with a more… critical eye as soon as I realized her words. It took me a moment to realize that Hestia was deep into her cups. The Oppai-Loli goddess sported a flushed face. The scent of alcohol wafted from her as she continued to stand shakily before me. Ah, I must be looking upon the legendary "unattended girl drinks herself to stupor due to sorrow" comedy skit. You're playing with fire, Zaimokuza. You made her powerful, perhaps too powerful, and striking her down like this will backfire. You may have just dug your own grave, you tubby bastard. "You are drunk."

"I… hic… am not!" Judging by the fact you pronounced "hic" aloud, I believe differently. Zaimokuza's walking, talking pandering character pointed a finger towards me. "I am p-perfectly so-sober!" The twin-tailed, busty, and kind goddess swayed where she stood. Placing a hand on her shoulder, making sure to not trip any flags by holding her hand or picking her up, I walked her to her seat. Yamato gave me a wan smile and a wave with a hand holding a familiar saucer. Yep, two lost causes here. "Aaannddd! You're changing the subject!"

I replied the only way I knew how: I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Man, I sure was easy to animate.

"Bell… Bell-kun's been soooo strong and ruh-reliable luh-lately… but he always g-guh-go's to you first!" Some semblance of intelligence was working its way through the alcohol. I made sure to pay more attention to the drunk Oppai Loli before me. This wasn't a comedy skit! Zaimokuza was trying to trick me, dammit! This was important character development for the most important person in this story: me! "Hik-Hikigaya-sense, you need to be less reliable so my child can stand on his o-hic-own!"

I scrambled my mind for a reply. This was the moment where I could cement myself as a main character in Zaimokuza's crazed light novel! I was being spoken to by Cranel's main girl about Cranel's power levels and abilities! That I needed to lay off guiding him everywhere and have him make his own decisions! This was my chance to say something that would lead to my own character arc and make sure the tubby bastard can't kill me off!

"…"

Naturally, just as I was about to speak, the lights in the ball room went out save for the stage, the orchestra began to play, and the most beautiful woman in the world began to address her guests with a voice like warm honey.

"Welcome, my lovely guests, to the first Banquet of Adventurers and Gods." Freya, the goddess of the most powerful Familia in Orario, drew the eyes of every single person in the room. She was clad in a dress of gold and white with a silver wreath around her head. Looking her over, I was very, very sure that she was now the center of the screen. Goddammit, Zaimokuza, this was supposed to be my scene! Don't just introduce new plot-relevant girls out of nowhere! "I am glad that so many are enjoying this wonderful evening." The goddess of beauty smiled. "With tonight's preparations all concluded, I look forward to spending the rest of the evening with you all."

Applause followed Freya's words. Not light applause either. The cheering was just shy of wanton abandonment. More than a few men, both divine and mortal, had flushed looks upon their faces while their dates clapped very, very politely with smiles that were as frigid as ice. Ladies, that's scary, y'know?

Anyway, as Freya continued to exchange pleasantries, I turned back to Hestia. Perhaps, after all, there was a chance for me to get my screen time? I mean, Cranel has plenty of girls already, right? I was going to get the chance to speak instead of this week's new flavor, right? Plot, after all, triumphed over petty pandering…

Hestia gave a little hiccup, lolled back, and finally fell onto the table face first. The Oppai-Loli goddess, my only hope of screen time, was no longer physically or mentally present. She began to drool lightly on the tablecloth. Mutterings of "Bell-kun," "too reliable," and "that sort of love is forbidden" spilled from her lips.

As expected, my dreams and aspirations are easily destroyed by alcohol. Truly, I needed to vest my expectations into a more reliable source. Hestia, despite her status as an Oppai-Loli Goddess, First Girl, and kind person, wasn't all that reliable as a method of gaining the main cast status that I dearly wished to have. I'd put my faith in you, Oppai-Loli, but it appears that I've only placed a burden on you that even String-chan would've been incapable of supporting.

Soundly defeated, I resigned myself to listen to Cranel's newly opened route.

Eh, why's there a raffle box on stage?

Why was everyone staring in my direction?

Why was I receiving glares of fury without having done anything?

Why is Ottar, the strongest adventurer in Orario and the only Level 7, looking down at me while clad in a suit?

"Hikigaya Hachiman?" A voice like rolling thunder came forth from Ottar's mouth. Oi, how did you know my name. Also, who tailored that tuxedo? I'm sorry, but it appears to be too small for you. Sir, your biceps are bigger than my head. Sir, you are very scary. "That is you, correct?"

"…" The famed adventurer of the Freya Familia had a stoic face and a cool gaze that reminded me way too much of a villain getting serious. What was this about? I decided on only nodding and affirming that I was, yes, Hikigaya Hachiman. "I am Hikigaya Hachiman, yes."

"Due to Freya-sama's time spent setting up this Banquet, she was unable to call for a date. It was decided to reward one of the guests of this Banquet with her hand for the evening." My face must have told Ottar all he needed to know, that I hadn't been paying attention to Freya's speech in the slightest, since he promptly provided an explanation. There was a glint of an emotion in his eyes that I immediately recognized. Why? Because I usually had it mine. It was schadenfreude, plain and simple! I felt a chill go down my spine. "You have won the raffle to be Freya-sama's date for the evening."

There was a whole slew of answers I could have given. I could have made an excuse about being still too injured to dance. However, I had just taught Cranel to dance. I could have said I didn't know how to dance. Again, however, I had just taught Cranel to dance. Perhaps, I could have said that I had a date and that dancing with another woman would be in poor taste, but who the hell would believe me if I said that? Hell, there wasn't exactly anyone present willing to present that I was their date. Yamato was drunk, Hestia was asleep, Hecate was nowhere to be found, and Cranel had a date. Wait, what was that last one? That seemed quite a suspicious thing to say. Oh, well.

So, in the end, I had no choice but to rise, follow Orario's strongest Adventurer, and feel the jealous glares of dozens and dozens of men.

Joy, it looked like I was going to be hated by everyone again.

I did my best to look decent as I went. Straight back, impassive face, and no slouching. It was a lot harder to be intimidated when everyone glaring at you is short. Ha ha ha, I might only be taller than average in my world, but when standing straight here I'm a head taller than everyone else! Glare all you want pipsqueaks, I can barely feel your hatred all the way up here, lol.

"A pleasure to meet you, Hikigaya Hachiman." Freya, the goddess of beauty, greeted me with a smile and offered her hand. Naturally, I followed basic etiquette and pressed my lips against the back of her hand. She smelled of winter forests. It was an unfamiliar scent, but I could tell why she chose it. "Take care of me tonight, please."

Thus, through my lack of luck, I found myself being used as a foil to introduce Cranel's new love interest.

…

Interlude: The Student (Part 4)

…

I hadn't liked being taught to dance, or dancing, but I must admit that I wished my dance with Aiz lasted longer. We hadn't been close, our bodies hadn't been pressed together, but I couldn't help but feel as though a current ran through me as we danced. Where my hands had laid on her, despite my gloves, I felt warmth pour into my hands and up my arms. Where her hand touched my back, I had felt currents run up and down my spine.

Our movements hadn't been fast, but my breath had been taken away. Despite our short, slow movements, my eyes didn't know where to look. Normally, Aiz was beautiful, but in her dress, with her features lightly accentuated, and without any sign of the Adventurer I looked up to… it was difficult to pay attention to anything but her.

We were close, incredibly so, to the point where her perfume filled my senses whenever I breathed. I could feel her form shifting and moving with my own. She danced well, far better than I could, but she didn't lead. She could have, I didn't doubt that, but she allowed me to. Feeling her move at my urging, one of my hands at her waist and the other holding one of hers, was… was… I was only able to smile whenever I realized it. Together we moved. Though I was lacking, she moved with me. She moved with me. I didn't move with her. We acted as one, understood one another, and made no missteps or errors as we danced together.

It was a simple dance, we weren't as skilled or as close as the other dancers, but we danced together nonetheless.

Though I didn't know how I felt as we danced, I could only smile. I can't explain my emotions any better than that. I was incredibly, ridiculously, and amazingly happy without knowing why. I couldn't believe where I was, who I was dancing with, and every passing moment I thought I was dreaming.

Yes, that was the best way to describe it.

Every passing moment was like the best dream I've ever had.

When the dance ended, though I'd never liked dancing or wanted to dance, I couldn't help but wish to continue dancing with Aiz. In fact, I wanted to spend the entire night dancing with her. If I could, I would want to dance through every song the orchestra played. Thank you, Sensei, for teaching me the basics of dancing. I will be sure not waste a single moment of time this entire night—

"Bell-kun, I would like to rest for a moment."

Unless, of course, Aiz-chan wants to rest.

"Y-yes, of course, I'm sorry!" I could feel my features lighting up, especially as a couple nearly crashed into us due to our abrupt stop. Only Aiz's reflexes, her deftness in taking the lead, and her footwork allowed the two of us to escape the dancing floor without trouble. With her leading, the dance was far more graceful and immaculate, far beyond what Sensei taught me, but I couldn't help but think it didn't take from our earlier dance in the slightest. Still, I gave her another apology along with the traditional bow and a smile as we uncoupled. "Ummm… ah, I'm sorry, I wasn't being considerate, Aiz-chan."

"It's fine." Aiz gave me a small smile. I did my best to mirror it, but I was sure that my own was about to split my face. Sensei would call me a fool, an idiot, and a dunce if he'd seen me smile as wide as I did, just before looking away in disgust. I'm sorry, Sensei, but I can't help but be happy whenever Aiz smiles at me. Oh, why do I feel as though I'd be on the receiving end of a new tirade if I told him that? "I am not tired, Bell-kun. I merely wish to see how the rest of my Familia is faring." She looked away for a moment and a frown crossed her lips. "I would like to help them if I can."

"Help them?" I blinked at Aiz's words. My… my date gestured towards the set of table which she'd led us both to. I took in the scene. "Ah." Gravely, Aiz-chan nodded towards me. She urged me onward. I was unsure if I could help them, the unfortunate souls before me, but I was willing to aid them with both my body and spirit. The people before me did indeed require aid. I didn't know if I could help them, but I would most certainly try. "I see, Aiz-chan."

The two of us looked upon Sensei's completely accidental wake of devastation.

"Aiz-chan, how wonderful of you to join us. You look beautiful tonight." Riveria-sama crooned, but I was not able to take my eyes off how her fingers had indented the surface of her goblet. There was always an edge to her smile and a dullness to her eyes that sent chills up my spine. I remembered Collbrande for a split second, just before she threw two men from Babel, and almost felt Sensei's hand on my shoulder urging me to run away. Sensei, please fix the mistakes you've made this instant! This is too scary! "How was the dance, may I ask? It must be so pleasant to enjoy this venue to its fullest."

As Aiz answered Riveria-sama, I departed from her to look closer into the scene of destruction before me.

Loki-sama was looking at me from the bar behind the table, widely shaking her head towards me and gesturing for me to retreat. I'd never exchanged earnest words with the goddess, but I couldn't help but be grateful for her attempts to look after me. I'm sorry, Loki-sama, but I owe my Sensei a lot. I can't allow him to destroy his efforts, accidental as they may be in their creation and destruction, by being his usual, dense self! My grandfather, may he rest in peace, would never forgive me if I allowed the man I respected the most to lose all the progress he's made!

"Good evening, Cranel-kun." Tiona-san, please, where is all your happiness and cheer? Why do you look so lifeless and defeated! You need to get up, get out there, and fight! I wanted to say all of those words, but I nearly choked on my tongue as she held… tried to hold her chest. I'm sorry, Tiona-san, but I've been taught that lying is just a waste of time. Please, don't ask me the question I think you're going to ask me! "Is… is there really no hope for me?" Please? Don't look like you've already lost! "I mean… my sister has always been bigger than me, and curvier, and always looked nicer while I've always been like this. There's… There's a chance I could look like Freya-sama in the future, right?"

Please, Tiona-san, don't look at me like that. You're honestly a very cute girl. I would like to say that very much, but we both know the question you're not asking me isn't if you're cute or not. You're asking me if you're going to be, in my grandfather's words, a buxom, bodacious beauty. I think that the two of us both know that your appeal lies elsewhere. I'm sorry. Even though I'm only thinking these words, I can see that my silence is saying everything. Tiona-san, please don't look like you're going to cry!

Sometimes, as Sensei told me, it's better to bravely run away than fight an unwinnable fight. Since I didn't want to lie to one of my friends, the former option just looked appealing. I'm sorry Sensei, but I really think this is your own fault! Why did your luck have to choose the woman whose figure is considered the best in the world to dance with!? Tiona-chan has taken too much damage, I can't help her at all! This is absolutely hopeless! I broke off and covered my retreat with a barrage of words.

"IamsorryIthinkHestia-samaiscallingmeI'llseeyoulaterhaveaniceevening!"

I beat a hasty retreat, one which Sensei would've called "showing my back to the enemy," but there was no denying that my retreat was done with all possible haste against a superior enemy. Hopefully, Sensei would forgive me for both my lack of foresight and inability to save the fruits of his accidental efforts. Please, Tiona-san, stay strong! Sensei has no type! I'm pretty sure that he's only here for the free food and drinks! If there's really anything he loves in this world, it's free food and drinks! Ah, I think those words would've made Sensei both really happy and sad…

Anyway, due to my choice to rapidly escape instead of "tactically repositioning" I found myself wandering straight into another battle I wasn't prepared for.

"Ah, Cranel-kun, good evening." Lefiya-san was clad in a pink and white gown. Her golden brooch shone brightly upon her lapel and complimented her dusky, blond hair. White gloves traveled up her arms as she poked idly at the sweets presented by the servers to those who did not dance. They looked very tasty, but I couldn't help but feel that it was a sort of second-place reward. A handout that Sensei would, despite his love of all things free, undoubtedly turn his nose up at in disgust. He'd eat it, but I was sure he wouldn't enjoy it! "How was your dance with Aiz-chan?"

I couldn't help but blink at her words.

Those were not the words that I expected.

Taking a closer look, or "opening my eyes" as Sensei would say, I looked closer upon one of the hearts I had supposed Sensei had inadvertently broken. Lefiya-san didn't seem deep in her cups, prickly, or mourning her…ummm… modesty. Upon my further examination of the Loki Familia's second Mage, I couldn't help but be surprised.

"Eh, Lefiya-san, didn't Sensei say that he'd dance with you later? Aren't you worried that you won't, now?" I forget to address Lefiya's question due to my curiosity. I further forget it as I felt a flush cross my face as I realized the question which I'd just asked. Don't be dumb, Bell! What sort of person asks a girl why they're not disappointed with being ignored!? That's dumb! It's the dumbest thing to say! If I could have disappeared at that very moment, I would have. "Ah, s-sorry, I hadn't meant to say it like that—"

"What Bell-kun meant to say is that you should ask to dance with Hikigaya-kun before the last dance is called, Lefiya-chan." Of course, Aiz came to my rescue. Unlike the first time when she had done so, I could only feel relieved as she undertook the brunt of the effort to rescue me from my mistakes. If there was any person who deserved to be called a miracle in this word, it was definitely Aiz! Wait…did I really just think that!? Why did I suddenly feel like I was in an oven!? "It would be very rude to not follow through on one's own invitation."

Lefiya's features changed multiple times. Her ears drooped, a frown crossed her face, and she poked her fingers together. I see. I had simply fallen for Lefiya's acting. My words had probably hit her more than I realized. My stomach roiled as I watched her begin to mumble excuses of why she couldn't go up and ask Sensei for a dance.

"Oi, brat, why aren't you showing your date a good time?"

Naturally, just as I thought everything was lost, Sensei arrived and with his ever-present frown and disgruntled appearance.

"Sensei!" I couldn't believe my eyes. Sensei was here instead of in the arms of the goddess of beauty! To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. I was astonished! "What are you doing here—"

"Unlike you, brat, I can remember the things that I've been taught." My mind called forth everything Sensei told me since the night began. A set of words came to mind that made a smile spread across my face. He brushed me aside and held out his gloved, only hand toward Lefiya. A man doesn't make a woman wait for a dance, indeed! "Well, Viridis, I hope that you can actually dance instead of just smile and look pretty, unlike Freya-sama. I was looking forward to enjoying the evening with someone interesting, y'know?"

"Y-yes, o-of course!" Lefiya-san's smile was the widest I'd ever seen. I couldn't help but also notice that Tiona-san's and Riveria-sama's spirits had also risen immensely! The two beamed as Lefiya-chan took up Sensei's invitation with an immense blush. They were happy for her! "L-lead the way, H-Hikigaya-kun!"

As expected of Sensei, with a single sentence and action, he brought back the interest, attention, and happiness of everyone who was interested in him!

Truly, he was a man amongst men!

No, truly, he was a Sensei amongst Sensei!

I could only hope that I could be like him one day!

…

However, Nothing Stays The Same. (14.4)

…

While I'd like to say that the night blurred together and I found myself in my bed ready to sleep after I spent time as a foil for various secondary characters, that wasn't the case. Even after dancing with Viridis to show off her newfound confidence, idly chatting with Hiryute about her Level Up while slowly circling the edges of the dance floor, and discussing the future plans of the Loki Familia with Alf as she practically dominated the court with me in tow, I still found myself at the Banquet bored out of my mind.

Zaimokuza, please, I'm begging you, don't waste too much time on this crappy scene. I know this sort of scene is a must for fantasy Light Novels, but there's something to be said about knowing when to quit while you're ahead. This is a goddamned shitty RPG-based Light Novel, not a ballroom-dancing Light Novel. You'd need actual writing talent to pull off the latter, so just move on with the damned scene!

With that thought firmly in mind, I decided to take a seat, frown at anyone coming near, and do my best to pretend everything was moving forward at a decent pace, rather than the glacially slow speed it truly was. I would kill for an end-cutscene prompt right about now. This is the sort of scene that gets hundreds of man-hours invested into it only to be skipped, y'know? Companies really shouldn't waste their time on set pieces that people will either skip or forget about seconds after it ends! Ah, who am I kidding, there's no way Zaimokuza would get a game made for his LN. The anime would probably never get a second season either, lol.

Anyway, just as I was nearing my natural state of disgust and passive aggressiveness, fate (i.e. a certain tubby bastard) decided to throw a curveball at me.

"My, oh my, I believe that I've stumbled on quite the unguarded treasure." While I'd like to say Apollo's voice was creepy, there was no denying that the god's voice was pleasant to listen to, his looks were beyond handsome, and there was a definite reason why he was able to seduce so many beautiful individuals into his Familia. Most would be incapable of looking at him without feeling some form of confusion or affection. Thankfully, I'm not normal in the least. Wait, didn't that sound bad? Well, whatever, I glared at him. "Oh, perhaps the treasure itself is the danger?" A coy giggle left the handsome man's mouth. "Tell me, Hachiman-kun, must I truly have my Familia fight you tomorrow? Are you not afraid that your beauty will be further marred while fighting against my lovely host?"

"…Good evening, Apollo-sama." I gave the god a small bow but I did not rise from my seat. Even if his Familia did attack Cranel, Arde, and the Hestia Familia, I couldn't exactly badmouth a god. No matter how powerful I was, no matter how much his words made my ears bleed, I couldn't mouth off to a divine being. I had to play by their rules, using the War Games and traditions they set up to defeat them fair and square, so that they couldn't strike me down. I didn't want to respect him, but I still had to give my respects. It was a disgusting dilemma. I wasn't a corporate slave, y'know!? Why did I have to act like one!? "How are you enjoying the Denatus?"

"Playing coy, Hachiman-kun? Well, I suppose your character would suggest as much. Hiding behind masks and secrets, playing your games, and only unveiling yourself when you're about to be named before all." Apollo gave a sigh that definitely didn't belong to a man's body. Peering closer upon him, I verified that he did not have any appeal whatsoever. As expected, the man before me couldn't compare to Totsuka. Ah, who am I kidding, no one can compare to Totsuka! The years without Totsuka have been harsh and terrible. Anyway, the knowledge that Totsuka exists protected me from Apollo's appeal 100%. It also protected against Freya by 50%. Wait, did that mean I liked Totsuka more than most girls!? "Don't you know that absence only makes the heart grow fonder? That being held back, having to keep oneself restrained, is the greatest part of love?" Sir, you should not make noises like that in a public setting. That is public indecency. Disgusting. "Delaying gratification merely makes the experience all the more pleasurable."

"I wouldn't know, Apollo-sama." Calmly, I addressed the god. Unfortunately for you, I have quite an immense attack bonus against handsome men. I spent my entire life in the shadows of you bastards. If you think that you can seduce me, after everything your kind has done to me, you are wrong. My body is made of spite and vehemence at your handsomeness. I'm only average in looks dammit, you people being too handsome made expectations way too high! You're the reason why Japan has such low birthrates, dammit! "I prefer to let people make their own decisions. They tend to be more appreciative when they have a choice."

"You wound me, Hachiman-kun. I'm no such god. I'll have you know that I'm well beyond using force or magic to make others love me." Yet, Apollo-sama, you won't let people leave your Familia. Neither do you stop the rest of your Familia acting out in your name and denying knowledge if they get caught. You may know my name, how I act, and how I fight from Laulos, but she's told me plenty about you and your "lovely host." Sure, you have a dozen or so members of your Familia who love you, who'd do anything for you, but not all of them. Laulos certainly doesn't. "It is only natural for beautiful people to come to love me. Not only am I handsome, but I am also willing to give as much as I take." He opened his arms towards me, as though beckoning me towards him. Disgusting isn't harsh enough a word for this, dammit! This was outright nauseating! "Would you not agree that a relationship as equals with a god is not a beautiful thing to have?"

There was a number of things wrong with Apollo's statement. One of them being, of course, that how could he consider a relationship equal when he had to clarify the matter in the first place. Sir, I am afraid you are using that "equals" wrong. Secondly, love isn't give and take. It's taking everything and giving everything at once every moment and every second. See, even if you had the definition correct, there's no way in hell you could've convinced me to love you. Besides, I really doubt that you have anything that I want you town bicycle! No, wait, that's an insult to bicycles! At the very least, they contribute to their community by providing exercise and alternative modes of transportation! Given the number of your "passengers," I doubt that anyone but you is getting exercise from the services you offer!

"…I'm not interested." I could've said a whole lot more, but I was very aware that I was talking to a god. There was no way in hell that Apollo wasn't a god. There was no other way to explain how the man before me could laugh off my declaration like I was just saying something silly. Again, the only way to convince the being before me to fuck right off would be to beat him in his own game. I settled back into my chair and took my gaze off the god. The conversation was over. No. There really was no conversation in the first place. The man was living in a fantasy due to his own Familia's success and might. "Well then, Apollo-sama, I suppose we'll simply have to wait and see what occurs tomorrow in the War Game."

"There is nothing to wait for, Hachiman-kun. Your loss and that of Hestia's is assured." Again, Apollo gave a sigh that was inexcusably feminine. He covered his smile with the back of his hand. Oi, only ojou-sama types are allowed to smile like that. You're missing the folded up lace fan and the drill tails which are required to pull that move off. Zaimokuza, your stupid fill-in villain character is wasting illustrated pages! You and I both know this man will only be around for one story arc, don't waste illustrated pages on him, dammit! "You may be more than capable of taking my Familia on with your gathered allies… but I doubt that you can call upon enough comrades to take on my beloved Familia and our newfound friends."

With that ill-timed declaration, two others flanked Apollo's sides.

Both were Captains, the highest ranked Adventurers of Familias, and neither of them were one of Apollo's.

"Huhuhu~. What a handsome face you have. I could just eat you up right now." Phryne Jamil towered over most the banquet-goers and her width triumphed over that of many of the banquet tables. The dress she wore would've been enough to drown a girl in silk and linen, but it was stretched across her massive, muscled form. Her eyes were bulbous and face incredibly rounded. Her teeth were massive and pearly white. Her smile reminded me of a shark. Androctonus of the Ishtar Familia, Level 5, and one of the strongest Adventurers in Orario stood at Apollo's side. "Huhuhu! But, I suppose I can wait until after Apollo-sama is done with you~."

"You made a mistake having that damned Pallum leave my Familia, Hikigaya!" Zanis Lustra, Arde's replacement as Soma Familia's Captain upon her departure, barely managed to hold himself back as he snarled at me. The Level 3 features were contorted in anger. Though being confronted by someone who got outdone by my student hardly frightened me, his alliance with Apollo was problematic. Lustra had sway over a dozen or so members of the Familia, more if Soma didn't raise a finger to stop them, and those individuals would increase the number of opponents for the War Games immensely. "You're going to pay for all the beatings you've given me and my subordinates tomorrow!" Oh, yeah, he tried to steal from me once. Oops. "Your hide is mine!"

And so, the villains of the arc were revealed to be perverts, whores, and thieves in large numbers.

Three Familias, Ishtar, Soma, and Apollo, were all arrayed against the Hestia Familia, my students, and myself. A Level 5 was amongst them, along with a myriad of Level 3s, and my own former student.

There was only one response I could give to the horribly assembled, out-of-nowhere scene which had just suddenly occurred before me with little to no foreshadowing whatsoever:

"Ok."