《The First Flame》122. Because I Still Fall for You
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Thud.
“Dammit,” Iris groaned in an exasperated voice as she could only lay motionless in the bathtub and pound the back of her head against the wall. The warm water comforted her muscles but her time in isolation let her mind run out of control.
Thud.
Iris continued hitting her head against the wall as she lost herself deep in thought. She looked towards the ceiling with dead eyes as she tried to break her thought process. The more she hit her head against the bathroom wall, the worse it seemed to get, yet the more it would keep her grounded. She resituated her legs in the water and realised the water had become warm; cold in comparison to how it was when she filled the bath.
Thud.
Iris groaned as her mind kept wandering further and she felt a strange feeling in her stomach. It was like her stomach was turning, but not in a way she was used to. It was a hunger that she didn’t know she would have. A drive and desire for something more; something she didn’t know she wanted. Every attempt to clear Arylos from her mind only made it worse as the heat inside her grew.
Thud.
Iris slammed her head against the wall once more before lying still as she tried to come to terms with what was going on. Much less come to terms though and more try to explain it logically and write it off. She knew what she wanted, what she needed, but she didn’t know if she could have it.
She wanted the last Titan all to herself.
Iris groaned as felt the urge come to her again and she hit her head against the wall. She knew it was natural for this to happen, but is it natural? Is it even possible with a Titan? She tried to consider Arylos’s perspective; a spiritual creature trapped in someone else’s body. Would such a perspective let this happen? Would he want her in the same way? Would he feel the pleasure a man would feel? She sighed as she tried to imagine how she would approach the Titan. Would sex with a mortal even be worth his time? It was a very human interaction; so would any of it apply to a Titan?
Is he even attracted to her in that way? Iris rubbed her eyes as she tried desperately to tell herself no but her body continued to reject her. She had been able to contain herself since her and Arylos agreed to be a couple but how much longer could she hold off her human impulses?
And there was always the fact that he won’t age but she will. Maybe that would prevent any interest he would have in her. What if he becomes no longer attracted to her? It was a human problem to fall out of love over time but did that apply to a Titan as well?
Iris slammed her head against the wall, wracking her brain to find an answer. She knew talking to Arylos was the only solution so she could see his side. Yet, how could she even approach him? Iris groaned once more and kicked her legs in the water with an almost childish groan as she refused the thought process. With a sigh, she resigned herself to abandon the thought for now as she slowly rose out of the bath and opened the drain.
Trying to clear her head, Iris walked towards the towel and robe she laid out for herself and took the towel in her hands. She gripped the towel tight as she remembered bathing with the Templarians. Their curvy and voluptuous figures were just too much for any man to resist. She couldn’t help but feel envious, secretly wondering what she would do to get a body like that. Bellona is one thing; she’s practically a middle-aged mother by comparison. She could have easily been Iris’s mother in another life.
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But Eir was like a copy of Iris in terms of relative age and attitude. And yet she had a more fitting form. Even her body before her reincarnation was stunningly beautiful. She didn’t have the full and muscular form of Bellona but Eir made up for it with her slender body and tight curves. Iris began to realise just how beautiful Templarians can be.
And yet Iris, a Templarian-mortal hybrid, looks generic by comparison. No flashy curves, no attractive cleavage, a thin and tight waist and thin thighs when compared to the Templarians. If it wasn’t for her magic, no one would know she was half Templarian.
Iris glanced at herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but feel despair come to her. She looked at her normal brown hair and eyes, wishing they would take on their otherworldly hues without using her magic. She cupped her breasts in her hands and shook her head, disappointed in their lack of volume. She then turned to the side and measured how much her stomach stuck out. Even the smallest inches made her groan, wondering if she was putting on too much weight.
She had nothing to offer the Titan; nothing that he would be interested in.
Iris groaned once more as she used the towel and dried herself off. Once satisfied, she wrapped her hair into another towel before slowly putting on her soft robe. As she tightened the robe on her, she quickly loosened the chest to let her cleavage show a bit. Yet no matter what pose she took, she was disappointed with her flat chest; any volume her breasts would have instantly disappeared under the thinnest article of clothing.
Iris gave up as she opened the bathroom door and walked down the hall. She wrapped her arms around herself to shield her from the sudden cold of the summer night in the cottage. As she walked, she looked over to the other room on the other side of the hall with the door slightly open and a light shining out from the doorway. Iris wanted to wish Arylos a good night yet her face ran red as she imagined seeing the Titan; possibly even shirtless as he likes to sleep without a shirt or really any clothes on.
Her womanly mind couldn’t take it as she shook her head quickly and ran towards her room and closed the door behind her. Iris could once again feel the sickness come to her stomach as her legs shook. Her breathing was heavy as her face was hot to the touch. Her embarrassment kept growing as she realised that the mere thought of the Titan was enough to put her in this state.
“I want to do it,” she whispered softly while breathing heavily. “I want to do it, I want to do it, I want to do it,” she continued under her breath as she slowly came to terms with what she wanted.
Her eyes had a crazed look to them as she glanced towards a small bag on the dresser. She bought something just for this occasion but she knew she was too scared to use it. She wanted to show off to the Titan, yet could not bring herself to do so. She was always too scared to approach Arylos about this; the thought that she spent a good deal of money on this one thing knowing she would be too scared to use it embarrassed her.
Yet she didn’t care anymore; she knew what she wanted and she would take it.

Arylos sat on the edge of his bed, reading a book from his homeworld. As he read the spiralling characters, he felt the scenery of the book’s world surround him like a vision he could touch. He could see stars spanning an endless ocean of black and violet; worlds aplenty with clouds of flame and dust that birthed new stars. He could hear a sound in the soundless space; a music to his ears with a melody of singing stars. He wanted nothing more than to once again be a part of this ethereal reality; to experience the glorious magnitude of reality and the horizonless ocean of the endless.
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These escapes from reality gave him comfort; the ability to subject himself to a perfect reality on his whim was too much to pass up. His guilty pleasure of absorbing himself in the magical writing of his people was always a shame he hid, even if poorly.
He took in the tranquil ocean, peaceful and sublime with the roaring sound of a hurricane and the alluring pull of the celestial. It was beautiful; it made him feel small and insignificant against the endless and yet it made him feel so alive. He could lose himself in it as the lines between the edges of his vessel and the vast ocean blurred until he could lose himself adrift into the unknown.
Yet something took his gaze; a bright light from the velvet ocean. He could feel the light and warmth of a bright sun kiss his skin with a pleasant bite. He felt the familiar pull as the warmth soothed his skin. As he looked, he was blinded by a deep blue light of a violent star; burning everbright and bathing him in cerulean flames. The flames burned at him and yet he craved for their kiss as he lost himself in the giant star.
Arylos closed his eyes for a moment to take in the afterglow of the star. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Iris leaning against the doorway where the star once was. His face went red as he saw her tan yet pale skin under her damp brown hair and he could tell her lips had a sheen to them.
His face went even more red as his gaze went down and saw her in a soft and satin nightgown with thin straps that barely clung to her gentle shoulders. The frills along the edges of the nightgown were met with bows of lace and ribbons of silk as the gown came to just under Iris’s waist, exposing practically her entire thighs. He felt a hunger come to him as he saw her in this form, taking in every inch of her exposed skin as his chest tightened; his still heart trying desperately to beat for her.
A blush came to Iris’s face as she saw the shirtless and tattoo-clad Titan stare at her with his burning eyes as they practically licked her from head to toe. “Was I interrupting you?” she asked in a soft voice.
“N-No, not at all,” Arylos said nervously, trying to remember how to be human again.
“Good, I was wondering if you could do something for me if you weren’t busy,” Iris said with a smile as she approached the Titan and sat down next to him on the bed. As she sat down, she pushed herself against the Titan; her legs to his and her shoulders to his.
“What were you wanting?” Arylos asked while swallowing a lump in his throat and trying to get his voice to sound somewhat human. His growls were coming through as he felt her touch, warming him with the heat of a burning sun as he looked into her eyes. He felt his chest tighten as she looked at him with eyes of hunger; hunger that matched his own desires that he struggled to contain.
“Wellll~, something not involving this,” Iris said while reaching down towards Arylos’s book and folding a corner in it and closing it before Arylos could reject.
“W-What could it be then?” Arylos asked softly, his growling starting to overtake his voice.
Iris giggled softly and gave the Titan a wicked smile as her eyes ran along Arylos’s exposed torso. She bit her lower lip and Arylos could feel her skin warm up. “Sometimes, you really are romantically dumb as a bag of rocks,” she said with a seductive and soft voice. She reached forward with the book and Arylos laid down as she neared. She set the book on the end table nearby and climbed onto Arylos, straddling his waist as her hair draped down like a curtain.
Arylos knew exactly what was going on and before he could do anything, Iris held his face and gave him a warm kiss. As their lips touched, Arylos’s growls grew in his chest as Iris refused to give him time to breathe; each of her kisses felt like they would pull the formless Titan out of his human body. Arylos savoured the taste of her as he rested his hands on her waist and pulled her close and he could taste a familiar coolness on her warm lips, like fine mint that sent a shiver down his spine.
Iris gave the Titan no mercy as she refused to let him go, biting on his lower lip as Arylos growled, trying to resist succumbing to her. Yet he could feel himself losing as Iris pushed every inch of her body against him as he ran his hands along her warm and soft thighs and under her nightgown. Iris pulled at Arylos’s hair as she softly moaned as she continued to suck the soul from Arylos’s lips.
Arylos felt his nails grow longer as he explored her curves, savouring every inch from her waist to her chest until he pulled her closer to enjoy her touch more. Iris’s tongue was now wrapped around his and he could not bring himself to break from her as the creature inside continued to growl, wanting to make this girl his own.
Iris finally broke their kiss and breathed heavily as she quivered under Arylos’s hands. She bit her lip as she rubbed herself against the Titan as her legs shook. As her breathing quickened, she came down and kissed Arylos’s jawline. Arylos felt his spine shiver from her touch as his nails ran along her skin. Iris giggled as she kissed Arylos’s neck before biting down.
Arylos was powerless to her as he let out a shuddered gasp and gripped her waist tight. As Iris kissed and bit his neck, he couldn’t help but groan and shake under her, helpless to her whims as her burning touch was too much for him. He took in the pain, the pleasure, and refused to let himself resist her any longer. The more Iris bit his neck, the more he would lose a part of his false humanity. Her hot breath against his neck and the sound of her voice and breath in his ear was too much of her and yet she refused him any mercy.
Arylos growled as he tried to retain himself. He put his hands on her shoulders and tried to push her off of him until she finally let go. The duo stared at each other with panting breaths as Arylos could see the hunger in her eyes. He didn’t want her to stop; he internally begged her not to stop, yet he needed her to stop.
“Iris, are you sure about this?” he said in between deep breaths. “This body is not mine; are you sure you want this?”
Her eyes told Arylos everything; she knew what she wanted and she would take it by any means. She was a hungry carnivore who had cornered her prey.
Iris smiled and laughed softly as she lowered herself back on top of Arylos and kissed just under his ear. “I don’t care about any of that; I want the creature that’s inside this body,” she said into his ear with a sweet voice that awoke something in Arylos. “I want the monster, I want the carnivore. Show me what’s inside you so that I can devour him myself.”
Arylos raised his voice to speak yet found himself lost in a blend of pain and pleasure as Iris bit his earlobe and dug her nails into his sides. The Titan howled as he gripped Iris’s waist tighter and he could no longer control his growling voice. He was completely at the whim of this human girl as the lines between the human he wanted to be and the monster he was began to blur.
“Go on then, give it to me,” Iris said with a heavy breath into his ear while pushing herself against him more and nibbling his ear. “Give me the monster, give me the Titan. Give it all to me.”
Arylos’s growls turned to roars as he lost himself in the pain as Iris continued to bite his neck. The pain was sweet with love yet filled with hunger. Arylos held Iris close as he began to lose himself in her burning touch, losing where he ended and she began. He could no longer resist Iris’s commands as she took away everything he was.
Without warning, Arylos grabbed Iris by the neck and before Iris could react, she had been thrown down onto the bed with a hungry Titan on top of her. She lost herself in his slit pupil eyes that burned with fire as he growled in his inhuman voice and bared his fangs. Iris laughed before Arylos lowered himself and kissed her neck and clavicle while pulling her closer to him by her thighs. She dug her nails into his back as she let out a shuddered breath as the Titan growled.
She felt the burning heat well up inside her as her body screamed for Arylos. She wanted to lose herself in him and share this heat she felt inside herself with him.
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