“We’re hearing reports that Crawk have made significant gains in the Outer Galactic War today,” said the announcement blaring from the speakers inside ‘Arry ‘Ead ‘Unters ship. “It seems that Crawk have been planning this war for years, and an extensive spy network has been planted. It is through this spy network, which has now exposed Eric Smythe, head of the weather forecasting agency FOG, that Jake Spencer is managing to influence the war. It is imperative that if anyone has contact with Jake Spencer, or they notice colleagues behaving suspiciously, that they contact Ivan Smart of HEDGEHOG. This is Quinton Marks, reporting from Head Office, Timorea.”

“What a scumbag,” said ‘Arry. “We need to get to Crawk and sort ‘im out right away.”

“Might be easier said than done,” said an exasperated Niall who was wrestling with his flight stick. “These Crawkling fighters aren’t very good, but there’s a hell of a lot of them. Hold on!”

‘Arry laughed as the ship did a full horizontal rotation and dived downwards sharply. It rocketed between two lime green Crawkling ships that burst into flames simultaneously as Niall fired his lasers at them. “We’ll be alright, our pilot’s the best in the business.”

Niall agreed. “That’s true. I hope that Charles has put the best china away. The canteen will be a state otherwise.”

A hearty cackle followed, ‘Arry knew that he hadn’t. “There’s more important things goin’ on than that. ‘ere, let me ‘ave a go on that top laser.”

Niall continued to steer his way through the hordes of Crawkling and friendly ships alike, whilst ‘Arry shot down as many as he could. They weren’t bothered about helping to fight the battle, they had to get to Crawk to find Jake.

Spinning their way through the battlefield, Niall noticed a small blue ship, time and time again.

“ ‘Arry?” he said. “I think we’re being followed.”

“I was wondering ‘ow long it would take yer,” ‘Arry replied. “I spotted it ten minutes ago. FOG, standard issue ship, not a danger.”

“Unless they were sent by Eric Smythe, of course.”

“True. Scumbags, but still not a danger to our team.”

Niall agreed wholehearted.

“We’d best have a word though hadn’t we?”

‘Arry nodded and got the radio ready.

“Greetings, Officer Howler, Rearguard Beagle, Over. Ruff!”

“Rearguard Beagles eh?” ‘Arry turned to Niall. “Workin’ for FOG? That’s a surprise.”

“It’s true,” he replied. “Friendly too, so I wouldn’t worry.”

‘Arry grinned, his toothless smile indicating that he never took friendly for granted.

“So, Officer Howler, why are yer following us?” he asked.

“I’m not, Sir. We just happen to be on the same path through the battlefield. Ruff.”

There was a short break whilst both men thought.

“With whom am I speaking? Ruff.”

“This is ‘Arry ‘Ead ‘Unter,” came the reply. “So I’ll just make it clear that you’d better not be following us.”

Officer Howler looked at Rosemary. “Are you ok?” he asked. All of the colour had drained out of her face. He wasn’t entirely sure whether she shook or nodded her head. He could understand, her fear. He didn’t suppose that she ever saw real danger, and having a conversation with the most feared hitman in the universe was likely to be quite a shock. He nodded, trying to show that there was nothing to be scared of.

“We’re not, Sir,” replied Officer Howler. “We just happen to be following a similar path. I note that you have made it a little easier for us thanks to your sharp-shooting. It is a great relief to the Outer Galaxies to have you fighting on our team.”

“I’m not fighting for yer,” said ‘Arry. “The Crawklings just ‘appened to be in our way. I’m off to Crawk to find Jake Spencer. Three billion Timorean dollars for his ‘ead? I want that reward.”

“You can’t kill him, he’s innocent!” shouted Rosemary, jerked into life.

“What was that?” asked ‘Arry. Rosemary was sitting a little way from the radio so had only heard a muffled reply.

“Errr nothing,” replied Officer Howler. “Just my companion telling me that tea’s ready. She doesn’t understand I’m trying to fight a war here. I’m sorry ‘Arry, I’m gonna have to go.”

‘Arry laughed. “That’s fine. Good luck, Officer ‘owler.”

“And to you Sir. Over and out. Ruff.”

Melissa was trying to calm Rosemary down as Officer Howler ended communication. “We have to get there before he does, he’ll kill him!” she screamed.

“Don’t worry, Rosemary,” he answered. “We will.”

Quite how they would, Officer Howler didn’t know. It would be tricky getting ahead of ‘Arry, he was setting a fair pace. The only alternative was to continue to follow him, but he knew how well that would go down.