Green_Turtle_Boy_369 popped his head around the door of Jake’s new office.

“Jake!”

“Not now,” he replied. “I’m trying to rebuild my reputation.” Ever since he had spoken to his Mom, Jake had spent every single opportunity he got to play Lapine Death Corps. He had spent weeks, years of his life becoming one of the game’s greatest. He had a reputation to rebuild and a leaderboard to get back to the top of.

“Now Jake. Come out here, we all need to talk to you. It’s important.”

The ambush must have happened! thought Jake. They must need their Leader of War to salvage the wreckage.

“Ok,” agreed Jake, leaping out of his chair. He couldn’t wait to find out how many Crawkling ships had been shot down.

He followed Green_Turtle_Boy_369 out of the office, and around the corner. “So what’s happened?”

“SURPRISE!!” everyone shouted. One or two people crossed their hands across their chests, but most were holding glasses of wine in the air. There were party poppers, party hats balloons and bottles of booze everywhere.

“We wanted to congratulate you on your first wartime success, Crawk-King,” said Leina, stepping forward and giving Jake a big hug. He managed to wrestle his way free, and hid behind Green_Turtle_Boy_369. Jake looked around anxiously to make sure there weren’t any other colleagues who looked like they might want to invade his personal space. Leina partly made up for her misdemeanour by handing Jake a giant slice of cake.

“Do you like champagne?” she asked.

“It’s sparkling wine,” he replied. “France doesn’t even exist anymore. The whole planet got sucked into a supernova thousands of years ago, don’t you remember?”

“You’re so smart, Jakey,” she replied, edging towards him. Jake grabbed a glass and held it out at arm’s length before she got any closer. She filled it and he turned instantly to Green_Turtle_Boy_369.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Just a little celebration,” said Green_Turtle_Boy_369, “to mark the organisation of your first ambush.”

Jake remembered that the Crawkling’s had admired the traitorous spirit he had demonstrated in his application, but he didn’t think they would be celebrating him screwing them over. “Well, I did tell you that I wouldn’t be very trustworthy,” he said.

“And you proved correct,” said a familiar voice from behind Green_Turtle_Boy_369.

“Oh yes,” said Green_Turtle_Boy_369, stepping aside. “Let me introduce you to our office visitor.”

A tall human walked forwards, his hand outstretched in greeting. Jake shied away. He didn’t like this.

“Hello Jake. It’s lovely to meet you,” he leered. “I’m Eric Smythe.”

Jake’s turned to Green_Turtle_Boy_369 who was laughing his head off.

“It was a pleasure organising the ambush with you,” continued Eric. “We have taken down almost half of the Rearguard Beagles ships already, and the others won’t last long.”

“You’re a war hero!” shouted Green_Turtle_Boy_369. “TO JAKE!”

There was a lot of clinking, laughing, cheering, and a yelp of comprehension as Jake turned on his heels and ran out of the office.