Chapter 39: What You’re Made Of

At the bottom of the stairwell, a book greeted me. Something I had seen many times, but I dreaded reading it as I saw the room outside the stairwell. It was a cube, the exit door clearly visible with its red exit sign ominously looming above it.

After this, it really is the end. The end of everything. All of the pain, the torture, the loneliness, over. I grasped the leather book tightly in my hand as my eyes fell on the small metal folding chair in the center of the room. I took a deep breath and read the book.

‘Hello again, Logan.

I’m glad to see that you’ve made it through the previous floor with very little lasting damage to your psyche. That is not something many people could do, even with the same methods you used. Thankfully, this floor is a lot simpler.

Sit in the chair, and after you’re done recalling your past regrets, you can stand up and walk through the last door. One thing to note, is that these will not be simple recollections meant to make you suffer the memories of sins past committed. You will be able to take any action freely.

That is to say; you can change the past.

Good luck. See you soon, Logan Rivers.’

Why did they wish me good luck? Does changing the past of some kind of negative effect? Will it come back to bite me if I change a small detail here or there? I had so many questions, and no way to answer them.

As if to prove me wrong, I felt the book in my hand change. It shrank slightly, but there was an urge to open it once again to read it.

‘Logan, you ask a lot of questions that don’t need to be worried about.’

As soon as I finished reading the only sentence in the book, it disappears. I ask a lot of questions that don’t need to be worried about it. So, it would seem that I can change my regrets freely. A rather indirect way of telling me this, but I’ll take it.

I looked at the chair in the center of the room and laughed to myself a little. The things that have plagued me for years, could simply now just be changed, even if its all just in my own head. A version of what if, what if I had been the better person.

I knew what I was going to see when I sat down. I have many small regrets, as does everyone. However, I have one large regret. One that I think about every now and then, something this horrid place has tried to use against me time and time again. Hopefully this will let me come to terms with it all.

I took off my bag and sat comfortably in the cold metal folding chair. One similar to what you’d see in a school gymnasium or the like. It felt cheap and creaked as all of my weight was placed on the chair. I immediately closed my eyes as a feeling of tiredness washed over me.

…

I opened my eyes slowly. I was back in elementary school. The final year before I would go to high school. I knew this day quite well; it was the day I had snapped after seeing another kid getting bullied.

I had been watching from the sidelines as a kid was physically beaten by a group of four others. They were kicking and punching the downed kid and the teachers turned a blind eye, the kids doing the bullying having connections to teachers and higher ups.

I already had a chance to change things here. I can just let it go, it isn’t my problem, someone else can do it. However, I think it would weigh more on my mind if I let these kids bully someone to suicide. They had almost done that to me, but I can change that now.

I did exactly what I did when I was here originally. I stopped them, I forced a teacher into action and forced them to act. The punishments were light, but this made them turn to me as the next target. I had saved the other kid from the bullying, but now it was my turn to suffer.

What followed was months of humiliation, physical and mental abuse. I knew exactly what happened, but it was still sad to see people act like this. These young adults that thought venting their frustration from growing up on another person was the right thing to do.

Right before graduation, they released blackmail they had collected from me and humiliated me. The teachers told me off for it, telling me to be more careful and that I was at fault for this. Not something you should ever tell a kid who was suffering.

They forced me to go to the same high school as them. I waited it out, it felt like it was being played in fast forward for me, but I waited for all of use to turn eighteen. Then I was faced with yet another choice, this is where in the original timeline, I walked out into a forest with a rope.

I had made it all the way to tying the noose before someone stopped me. A friend, someone I shouldn’t have hurt the way I did. Ophelia. Her name fresh in my mind as I watched her comfort me, talking me out of killing myself.

She succeeded, and that’s why I’m here today. How she found me right before I climbed into the noose, I still don’t know. However, the part I want to change with her doesn’t come until later. The sped-up recollection continued until I was nineteen.

This is where I went to the police. I had nearly five years of materials here. So, I tried to get the school to help me, and the police involvement was sure to make it smooth. I don’t know what happened here, but something went wrong. There was some kind of miscommunication, but the result is that I was kicked out of the school.

The police dropped everything and told me to not go to them again with the same issue and even my parents were confused. It didn’t make any sense, why was I kicked out when I had evidence that I was being bullied.

When I tried to resort to posting it online, it was taken down because it was too violent. Or contained bullying or harassment, of course it did, it was me trying to get it out there. No matter where it was, it would get taken down.

So, I took matters into my own hands, but before that, we have one last part here. Ophelia would come visit my house, despite me never giving her my address. A good friend through and through. This is where I turned her away, told her that if she really wanted to help me, she would have done it earlier. I told her to never come near me again.

Originally, it was like this. Five years from now, we’ll meet again and reconcile, but we’d never be friends again. I regretted this, in fact, I even regretted it the day after this in my original memories. Something so simple, and all I had to do to save our friendship was to not be an emotional idiot.

“Ophelia, you didn’t have to come. There’s nothing left to do.”

“I just wanted to check on my friend.”

“Thank you. It means the world to me, but why are you actually here?”

“You really don’t know?”

“No. What are you talking about?” This was something that I wasn’t anticipating. Originally, I sent here away from the front door, but this time, I let her in my house, and she sat in my room with me.

“How are you doing, thirty-nine sure is a long way down.”

A chill goes down my spine. This is a memory, a recollection of regrets. Was something going wrong? Was the recollection messing up somehow? I knew this was just an illusion created by the floor, but how in the world did Ophelia know about it?

“So this is what you look like when you still have hope.” Ophelia smiled gently, as if looking at me like a mother would look at her child.

“What are you talking about?” I was genuinely confused.

“You’ll learn. Eventually. For now, I guess you should know that I was here for you. I know you’re not actually here and this is something playing in your mind, but this is actual history now. The demon controlling this is so much more powerful than you can currently comprehend.”

“I figured. Not that it truly matters at the end of the day I guess.” I sighed and leaned back against the wall of my room. The memory of it felt kind of nostalgic. In this timeline we move away in two or so years to a bigger city to give me more chances at making friends, which I never really do.

“I guess not. Why aren’t you asking me any questions?”

“I don’t see the point. You’re one of two things, someone who knows the future, or some creation of a demon. Perhaps even a demon yourself.” I focused my gaze on Ophelia, staring at her without flinching when she moved uncomfortably.

“What if all of your statements are true?”

“Then nothing changes. We’ll meet again when we meet again. If not, then I’ll forget this. This was one of my larger regrets you know. Knowing it was all predetermined makes me a bit sad. Knowing that all I had to do to actually keep my only friend was suffer through those floors.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all Ophelia says, gloomily looking down at the floor, as if it was her fault entirely. which I had a feeling wasn’t the case.

“Is there any special message I need to hear before I move on to not change most of my other regrets? I’m not in any rush you see, but I am right before the end of this all and am getting antsy.”

“Yes. I’ve come to tell you to make whatever choices you want. I was given a different message but seeing you this way now means you can still move on. Things are different when I meet you later. No matter what choice you make on the next floor, we’ll meet again.”

“Well then. I’ll see you later, Ophelia.” I stand up and stretch. A large weight being lifted off my mind, with only a smaller one remaining in its place. At least I no longer had to worry about this, but at least this should be the only predetermined thing in my life set up by me at some other point, but when and how?

Doesn’t matter. We say our goodbyes and I continue with making everything the same as it was before. I ruined my bullies lives from this point on. I would stalk them, learn about their lives then systematically tear them apart.

The first victim, I made sure they never got into post secondary. They work at fast food, and even that I made sure wasn’t comfortable for them for two years. I made sure they were transferred constantly and never had set shifts.

The second, I made sure got sent to jail. I framed them for several petty crimes and then forced some rather damming evidence onto them that they had been abusing young children, and even got a news station to pick up on it.

The last two had actually started a relationship together. I made them fight, small things here and there. I made sure they were miserable together. They broke up and stopped contacting each other, but I made it a point to ruin every single relationship they got into. One ended up assaulting a person and getting sent to jail on their own and now the other has weekly psychiatrist appointments.

I may have gone too far, and I did regret it a little, but I won’t change it. I don’t regret what they did to me. They changed my life for the worst and somehow… some way, Ophelia stopped me from killing myself in that forest.

Hold up…

…

I opened my eyes to find myself back in the room of floor thirty-nine, the exit door to the final floor now open in front of me. I had one thought though, something that didn’t quite add up. How did Ophelia stop me from trying to kill myself if I only tell her to try and stop me much alter in life?

Is this not the first timeline?

Either way, it was time. Time to go down the final set of stairs. I will learn a lot of things, but hopefully, the demon down there can answer all of my questions. They should be able to, and I will be kind of disappointed if they can’t, but it might happen.

The final floor awaited.