《Fates Parallel (A Xianxia/Wuxia Inspired Cultivation Story)》235. Ego
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Ja Yun wasn't hard to find. Jia's domain covered a massive area, and she wasn't exactly hiding.
Jia found her in a small clearing a short walk away from the camp. Ja Yun was sitting with her back against the tree, knees pulled up to her chest and head bowed. Her lion-like ears sagged and her tail was wrapped around her ankles. Hugged tightly in her arms was a small transparent blob of slime, which Jia would never have been able to peg as a living creature if not for the mana she sensed moving within it.
Unexpectedly, Ja Yun wasn't alone. The old onmyouji, Hattori Koji, was sitting nearby, his eyes closed in serene meditation. Jia felt a little bit bad—she'd entirely forgotten that they brought the old priest along. He cracked one eye open as Jia approached, and she bowed slightly in greeting.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"
The old man smiled and shook his head.
"Not at all Miss Lee. I was just enjoying a quiet moment of relaxation while Miss Ja Yun speaks with her friend."
Jia raised an eyebrow curiously, glancing between Hattori and Ja Yun. On closer inspection, she realized that Ja Yun was staring quite intently into the formless surface of the mud elemental, Iseul. With her mana sense, Jia could feel the exchange of essence happening between Ja Yun and Iseul.
"That feels different from when Eui and I communicate like that, or when Heian transmits her feelings to us. Actually, come to think of it, it's more like the clumsy, accidental mind melds that Eui and I started out with."
Hattori scratched his chin and shrugged.
"I wouldn't know. I have no idea what you're talking about. You are right, though—her method of communication is quite a bit different from my prayers to the kami. I don't believe it to be any lesser, however."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I'm just trying to understand—I never figured out how to talk to the elementals like Ja Yun does."
The old man chuckled.
"Well, perhaps then you should just ask her."
With that, Hattori closed his eyes and returned to meditation. Jia stood there awkwardly for a moment before taking a seat in the dirt across from Ja Yun.
"So…do I just…?"
"We can still hear you, you know."
Jia jumped a bit at the sound of Ja Yun's mumbling voice. Ja Yun looked up to meet Jia's eyes, looking unbelievably tired.
"Well, I can. Muddy senses vibrations on her—its surface, but she—it isn't very good at interpreting them yet."
Jia frowned, glancing down at the nondescript blob of elemental mud.
"Oh, sorry. I thought you were deep in meditation or something. Uh, hi?"
Ja Yun sighed miserably.
"Hello Miss Lee. Can I help you with something?"
"Maybe—although, actually—wasn't her name Iseul?"
Ja Yun grimaced painfully, and Jia was taken aback—what had she said wrong?
"No, she—it—Iseul is different. Was different. She wasn't me or Muddy…she was…"
"Both? Like Eui and I as Yoshika?"
Ja Yun shook her head vehemently.
"Neither! She was something new—something completely different. The divine elementals either didn't know or didn't care what they were doing when they pushed us into making her, but we did and now she's gone and I don't know what to do."
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Jia let out a long breath, not entirely sure what to make of all that. But it sounded like Ja Yun rather desperately needed someone to talk to, so Jia got up and repositioned herself to lean against the tree next to Ja Yun.
"I don't think Iseul is gone. We promised to find a way to let her have her own emotions, remember?"
Ja Yun shook her head sullenly.
"It's not that simple, though. That's what Iseul wanted, but what about Muddy?"
Jia tilted her head curiously.
"Aren't they the same person?"
Ja Yun groaned in frustration.
"Ugh, no! That's what I've been trying to tell you. How are you, of all people, struggling to understand this?"
Jia bristled, but thought seriously about what Ja Yun was saying.
"With Yoshika, she is everything that I am and everything that Eui is. Anything that I want, Yoshika wants, and vice versa. The same goes for Eui. Are you saying that with Iseul it's different?"
"Yes. Your whole thing with Eui—it's a lot more intimate. Iseul had all of Muddy, but only part of me. The things that Iseul wanted, she was only capable of wanting because of the part of her that was me. Muddy is different. It's not Iseul, and it doesn't want the things that Iseul wanted. I don't want to abandon Iseul, or to break your promise with her, or leave her for dead but…"
The two fell into silence as Ja Yun trailed off. It was a much more complicated situation than Jia realized.
"What does Muddy want? I mean, I assume you've asked it."
"I don't know. It's not good at communicating that kind of thing. Most of its thoughts revolve around collecting mana and getting bigger. Even just asking a question is complicated—it's not easy to control the flow of information, and half the time it doesn't even acknowledge the question."
"And you can't exactly translate the way you did before, because then it would be Iseul you're talking to and not Muddy. I think I understand now."
Ja Yun nodded.
"Yeah…"
Another silence, though it felt a little bit more comfortable this time. After a few moments, Jia's curiosity got the better of her.
"Have you spoken to Rika about this?"
Ja Yun stiffened up and drew her knees even closer to her chest.
"No. How would I? Rika has enough problems of her own without coddling me. Besides, I don't want to get between her and Princess Seong."
Jia pursed her lips. That was a sticky subject, and not one she had the expertise to comment on. Her own experience with romance was a clumsy mess, and she was incredibly lucky that she had Eui at all. Still, she didn't want to let that sit.
"I don't think Rika sees it that way. She cares about you, and for that matter so does Eunae. I might be a bit biased, since I literally share my every thought with my girlfriend, but I think communication is important. If you tell them how you feel, I'm sure they will understand."
"Wise words from someone so young."
Both girls jumped at the sound of Hattori Koji's voice—the old priest was surprisingly good at going unnoticed.
"My apologies, I didn't mean to eavesdrop or startle you. Miss Lee is right, though, communication is the key to any relationship—be it between man and kami, or among lovers."
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Jia's ears shot up straight as Hattori's comments reminded her why she had come here in the first place.
"Oh! Sir Hattori, since we are in the area we were planning a visit to Urayama Village and Lady Tennin. Would you like to accompany us?"
The onmyouji bowed.
"Thank you for offering. Yes, I believe I will be accompanying you. Visiting Lady Tennin had, in fact, been my original purpose in Noguchi province before I met you."
Jia nodded before turning back to Ja Yun.
"Ja Yun, could I trouble you to stay behind and watch over my sisters? Seong Misun is being a bitch, as usual, and I don't think Jung is strong enough to make the trip."
Ja Yun frowned and bit her lip.
"Who else is going?"
"Pretty much everybody, it would just be you, my sisters, and Seong Misun staying behind."
Ja Yun made a pained expression, scratching her head as she struggled with the difficult decision.
"I think… I think I'd rather go. You're right, I do need to talk to Rika—ancestors, probably Princess Seong too—and I can't do that if I stay here and avoid everything. I don't want to leave your family here alone with, um, the other Princess Seong, though."
Hattori raised a hand.
"I can stay. My business is not urgent, and as prickly as the older Princess may be, I've handled my share of spoiled young ladies. Between the two of us, I'm sure that we will be able to keep your family out of any danger."
Jia smiled apologetically at the onmyouji.
"You sure? I feel bad imposing on you like that, after we've already distracted you from your mission for nearly a year."
"Nonsense! My decision to join you on your journey was my own, as is this one. You girls enjoy your visit, I'm sure the Lady Tennin will be happy to see you—she seldom entertains visitors."
"Thank you, Sir Hattori. I don't think we've appreciated you enough while you've been with us."
The two girls stood and bowed in thanks as Hattori waved them off dismissively.
"Think nothing of it! Keeping a low profile is simply in my nature. I am pleased to have been of service."
Lee Jia and Ja Yun returned to the camp to prepare for their departure. Jia, for her part, had to inform her sisters that she’d be away for a while. Jung's smile was strained as Jia gave her the news.
"As grateful as I am for everything done for me, Jia, it's not exactly easy being the mortal mother of a seven-year-old mage initiate. Narae has far more energy than I can keep up with these days, and I think she's starting to figure out that I'm entirely powerless to enforce my role as her parent when you're not around."
Jia frowned.
"Is that so? It sounds like someone needs to be reminded how to respect their elders."
Jung crossed her arms under her chest and raised an eyebrow at Jia.
"And you think you're the one to teach her that? You and Eui don't exactly have the best history when it comes to respecting authority."
"W-well, that's why we’re leaving Hattori with you to help babysit."
Jia's sister put a hand on her hip and frowned down at her doubtfully.
"Oh, of course—I'm sure it wasn't just because he happened to be available."
Jia flinched back—Jung saw right through her.
"Honey, please. No matter how much you've changed over the years, you're still the child I remember. This just isn't the sort of thing you think about. But please, take this seriously—I'm genuinely concerned about Narae's development. It was one thing when I thought it would be years of meditation and study, but things are moving too fast—that's too much power for a little girl."
Jia thought about all the people she knew who'd grown up living and breathing cultivation. None of them were particularly well-adjusted, and in cases like Yan Yue or Seong Eunae, it had all but ruined their lives. Jia wanted her little sister to be able to protect herself, but not at the expense of her own livelihood.
"You're right, sorry. I hadn't really thought about it that way. I'll try to think of something, but in the meantime maybe Hattori can help teach her some discipline."
"Thank you, Jia. I—"
Jung's words were cut off by a sudden coughing fit, and Jia immediately rushed to her side to support her.
"Big Sis! Are you okay?!"
Jia's sister waved her off as the coughing fit subsided.
"I'm fine, sweetheart. Eui just checked on me, remember? I just need to rest a bit."
Jia guided her sister back to the tent and made sure she was resting comfortably.
"Don't overdo it, all right? Eui's treatments can only do so much. You need to rest."
Jung covered her mouth and giggled.
"One might wonder which of us is the mother the way you fuss over me like this. I'll be fine, Jia."
Jia put her hands on her hips and huffed irritably.
"Well I mean, we do have Heian. She can be a handful too, you know."
Jung snorted.
"Oh yes, a child you don't have to clean up after, who spends most of her time napping in a place completely inaccessible to any kind of danger. A child who can perfectly communicate her wants, needs, and feelings instead of just crying. A child so intrinsically linked to you, that you know exactly where she is and what she's doing at all times. Forgive me, Jia, but I don't think it's quite the same."
Jia flicked an ear and scratched her head awkwardly.
"Yeah…fair enough. She really can be difficult though."
"I don't doubt it, but I can't help but envy you just a little bit."
As if summoned by Jung's words, a panther kitten came sprinting through the tent, Heian's spirit form completely unobstructed by the walls. Immediately following her was Narae, who crashed at full speed into the tent, lacking Heian's ephemeral nature. Jia moved swiftly to catch the giggling troublemaker before she could collapse the entire tent down around them. She didn’t even have a chance to scold Narae before the little girl was shooting off after Heian through the air.
"Okay, I guess I kind of see your point."
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