“Okay.” I took a deep breath, looking at the splash page on the website. “We can do this, Mae. It’ll be fun.” I tried to hype myself up before pressing the join button. The first page asked for my basic information: my birthday and email, though weirdly enough, student emails get a premium account. “The one time I wish I went to college.” I spoke to myself, rolling my eyes, hoping the reason college students are so popular are because rich folk want to help out with bills and not because college students are the youngest you can legally find. I chewed on my lip at the mention of the next option.

“Am I attractive, or am I established? Well, I sure as shit aren’t established, but…attractive? I guess it depends on who you ask. Mason!” I yelled across the house, causing Mason to stomp over. He peeked his head into the room with a questioning look. “Am I attractive?”

“Of course, Mae.” He sighed heavily. “You’re too hard on yourself most of the time.”

“I’m like a six at most without makeup on.”

“See? Too hard on yourself. You’re gorgeous, Mae. Go easier on yourself. Please.”

“Fine, fine.” I put my hands up in mock surrender. Mason walked away from my door and I turned my attention back to my laptop. “Attractive it is.” I clicked on the option. “Men or women or both…?” I tilted my head to the side slightly. I’m attracted to both, sure, but the idea of sex with an old lady not nearly as appealing as the opposite gender, but maybe that’s just my daddy issues speaking. Deciding, I clicked on just men before pressing next. The next information was more general stuff. Height, race, body type. Well, general for a sugar baby website, I suppose. I couldn’t decide which body type to put. Curvy or a few too many pounds. Sure I have a bit of extra stuffing on my stomach, but I am damn curvy. As my friend from middle school once told me, I have perfect child birthing hips.

I breezed through most of the other questions due to their simplicity. Education: high school. Relationship status: single. Children: none. Smoking or drinking: never. “Now I just need to wait for my account to get approved.” I shut my laptop. “Can’t believe I’m doing this still.”

“What did you get, Macy?” I sat down next to Mason by the fireplace.

“Same thing I always get, Mae.” He lifted his drink up to me. An iced chai. No matter the weather, the time of day, or if the world was ending, that’s exactly what he’d order.

“So boring.” I rolled my eyes, setting my drink down on the side table. “So…” I chewed on my lip. “I did it. I joined one of the websites.”

“Good for you, Mae.” Mason smiled widely at me.

“What should I prepare for, Macy? I’m still really nervous about everything.”

“Well, I’ve only gone on a handful of dates, Mae.”

“A handful is more than none.” I stated, matter-of-factly. “Just what should I expect from people?”

“Some want to date, some want to hook up, some are quite bigoted,” he sighed, I knew he was talking about the fact that he’s trans and some men likely didn’t approve of that or maybe even had a fetish towards it, “and some are pretty nice. We usually talked about what we wanted from the site, what we wanted from the lifestyle, what we were up to doing, more about our personal lives like what we do, what we like to do for fun. Some would talk about arrangement options, ‘I’ll give you this much for doing this.’ Which could include just dinner and company or obviously sexual acts.” He laughed quietly to himself. “That’s basically everything. Have you got any messages yet?”

“Outside from spam, or at least what I assume are scams, a few. But I haven’t really talked much. Some were just way too forward for me, like the whole I’ll give you a grand for a night out with a sexual ending. I’m just not ready for that. Nor am I sure I ever will be.” I sighed. “I’m not sure I’ll ever really be a right fit. Either they’re not going to find me attractive or I’m not going to be willing to do what they want. Before you yell at me,” I put my hand up, “I just mean conventionally. If I took better care of myself I’d be closer to that, but that’s not going to happen so…”

“Mae, even if you weren’t, there are people who are into everything. There’d be someone into whatever you have to offer.”

“Not really all that comforting.” I crossed my arms. “‘Anyone can be into you if you sink yourself low enough.’”

Mason laughed. “That’s not at all what I was saying. Anyway, what do you do for what you’re seeking?”

“Flexible schedule, all ethnicities, attentive, and romance, I think.”

“Why didn’t you do long-term or marriage?” Mason took a long sip of his drink, though there was nothing left, making an annoying sound. I hit the cup out of his hand, causing him to widen his eyes before laughing.

“I don’t know if I fit into that lifestyle.” I chewed on my lip, growing serious. “I can’t really travel, I don’t like fancy food, I think mansions are a waste of money. I just don’t know if I want this life for more than just to pay the bills.”

“Well, whatever you choose, just keep me updated.” Mason leaned forward and squeezed my shoulder gently.

“Thanks, Mason.” I smiled slightly, reaching up to touch his hand.