The first thing that came to my mind:

He wanted to fight Voldemort now?

The second thing I thought: What could he have found out? Would this be true? Reliable? What if it really was horrible?

The third thing: Could I be crazy enough to believe him?

Then my mind spun back: If it was true that Regulus wanted to leave the Death Eaters, Sirius would be really happy. And I would be relieved, because we wouldn't 'cover' for him anymore.

With all that running through my mind, I managed the impossible and voiced all of my thoughts in one very expressive exclamation: "What!?"

Regulus bit his lip nervously. "Voldemort keeps this top secret, he tells noone about it because it's the only way to defeat him. At the moment, he's practically immortal."

My heart dropped with each word he spoke, too scared that it was true. I didn't want it to be true, so I clung onto anything that suggested he was lying.

If it was top secret, how would he know?

He was lying; he was trying to give the order false information.

There must be more than one way to defeat Voldemort.

There's no way he was immortal.

Regulus apparently saw the doubts in my eyes. "I wish I were lying," he said quietly. He looked me dead in the eyes. "Have you ever heard of Horcruxes?"

Not that I could recall, so I shook my head no.

For a very brief moment, the ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. "I expected that. I don't know what I'd think of you if you'd known this super dark magic -"

He stopped himself when I raised a skeptic eyebrow. "What I'm trying to say," Regulus started again, "is that a Horcrux is one of the - if not the most dark magic filled item there is. It contains a part of one's soul and is nearly indestructible, so even if you managed to throw a killing curse at the Dark Lord, it wouldn't kill him because a part of his soul is still intact and safe."

Honestly, I didn't know how to react or what to say. I didn't even know what to think.

Why was he telling me this, and was it really true? How did he know so much about that, if it was such dark magic?

"So you mean Voldemort has a Horcrux, and he's immortal? How would you know that?"

Regulus fidgeted with his fingers. "It's a long story, but I only really have the theory now because the Dark Lord has recently asked to borrow my family's house elf. Kreacher told me that they'd visited some cave and that he'd hidden something in there. I can't know for sure, but I believe that's a Horcrux."

I blinked, flabbergasted. This was a lot to take in. And it all seemed so random. I still wasn't sure that I could believe him. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

Regulus stopped his fidgeting and looked me in the eyes again. I wasn't really talented at reading people, but my time in the Auror programm had helped me improve. And I really had to rely on my people reading right now, so I put everything into it.

I didn't want all of that to be true. But Regulus looked really genuine and desperate. He almost made me believe him, and that really confused me.

"Are you tipping other Death Eaters off, telling them where I live? It's a trap, isn't it? Why would you tell me all of this, it's not like I can help you!?"

"I'm not tipping anyone off except you. I need someone else to know this, I can't be the only one. This information must be guarded carefully. It can't get into the wrong hands, or Voldemort will be warned. It's our advantage if he doesn't know we know. So only a selected few can know, and right now, that's you and me."

My confusion was torturing me. I was scared, overwhelmed, in denial and irritated. I had to try my best to not lose it right then and there. "What on earth am I supposed to do with that information!? Why would you tell me all of this if you've never even had anything to do with me? This has to be some kind of trap, I don't believe you!"

Regulus got up and walked towards me, raising his hands in a calming gesture, but it only made me flinch and point my wand at him again. He stopped, but still stood there with his hands raised.

"Calm down, Freya, please. I understand your doubts, but you have to trust me. I had to tell someone what I'm about to do, and for reasons I've already mentioned, you were the only person I could think of. I wanted to find Sirius first, but I wouldn't have gotten the chance to speak. I need you."

"For what?" I didn't lower my wand, but Regulus didn't shy away, completely calm. "What are you about to do?"

"You are my backup," Regulus explained patiently. "I am going to find the Horcrux and I will destroy it. But in case something goes wrong, I need someone to tell the story to trustworthy people."

"Are you mad?!"

Regulus tilted his head, giving me a grim smile. "Probably. But I have to do this. And if it's just to make up for everything horrible I've done in this war already, it's worth it. Please, Freya, you have to give me your word."

"If you really want to find the Horcrux and want to destroy it, why wouldn't you want help with it, why wouldn't you tell more people?" This was still too suspicious, and I'd sworn to be careful in this war and with my job. I couldn't just blindly agree to this.

Regulus didn't seem offended by my doubts. He continued to explain patiently. "I don't want people to join me on this mission because it's really dangerous, I've got Kreacher and I need someone out of danger who's informed. I can't tell anyone else because I really have to be sure that this doesn't get into the wrong hands. If everything works out perfectly, you won't even have to tell anyone. And please, promise me you won't tell a single soul until my time to handle this is up. I only want you to spread the word to people you trust when you don't hear from me in the next month, okay?"

My mind was blank. Except for the question why he'd chosen me, everything he'd told me made sense. I found less and less reasons to find this suspicious. If this really was his plan, I wasn't even in danger, so this couldn't possibly be a trap.

Could I believe him?

Regulus and I just stared at each other in silence. I stood there, thinking about his story and plan and what I should do, but I didn't know what he was thinking.

He still held his hands in front of him, in a somehow soothing and protecting gesture at the same time. I tried to read his face. Was he scared that I wouldn't help him? Turn him in instead? Tell the wrong people about this? Was he scared that I'd screw up his plan to defeat Voldemort?

After a few more seconds passed, I saw how Regulus gulped.

"You love him, don't you?"

It felt as though my heartbeat had stopped. My body didn't listen to me anymore, and my arms weakly dropped to my sides in pure, cold shock. "What?"

Regulus didn't use my distraction to attack or anything. He simply slowly dropped his hands. His gaze softened.

"You're in love with Sirius. Always have been and still are, even now that he's together with this McKinnon girl."

I couldn't believe my ears. For four years, I'd kept my emotions regarding Sirius a secret. I'd never even told Mum or Francisca, for reasons I still didn't quite understand myself. This was my deepest, biggest secret- and here I stood exposed to a man who didn't even know me. That couldn't be true.

And I'd never heard anyone actually say these words. Hearing them now felt crazily surreal.

"Ho-" I stopped myself mid-sentence. My mind hadn't worked before, and it sure didn't work now. Was it too late to pretend that he wasn't right? If someone found out, maybe that would do Sirius' and Marlene's relationship harm, and I didn't want that.

"How I know?" Regulus shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose I'm good at reading people. I remember you being all awkward and shy, but when you and Sirius started hanging out, your whole behaviour changed. You seemed happier and more confident. And some other factors went into it, but I don't want to go into depth; that would take too long."

"B-... Wha-... Why are you bringing that up now? What's that got to do with anything??"

Regulus took a step back and sat down on the sofa again. "I know you were still wondering why I was telling you all of this. I wanted to tell Sirius, but he's too impulsive. You're not, and you know Sirius really well. He'll trust you. He really values your friendship and opinion: He'd never listen to me, but he'll always be there for you. And I trust you because I see how much you love Sirius - enough to let him be happy with someone else, and that takes a lot of strength and wisdom. You're definitely loyal and have a good heart, so I was sure that I could trust you. That's why you're perfect as my backup plan."

I tried to let that sink in.

"Do you believe me now?" Regulus asked after a little while. His warm voice turned quiet. He stood up again and slowly walked towards me, but this time, I didn't raise my wand at him. "I really need your help, Freya. We're the only ones who know the truth; we're the only ones who can change the outcome of this war. I can't do this alone. If I fail, someone trustworthy has to spread the word, and I can't think of anyone better for the job than you. I want to free all of us from Voldemort, and I promise you, I'll give my best. But if it all comes to the worst, you'll have to be the one to save all of us from him. Please, promise you'll do this, not for me, but for Sirius, and your family and everyone you love. This war has to end."

I nodded. I knew that, and I wanted that. I had to play my role in this war, and Regulus seemed to have given me another one.

I'd listened to him. He'd explained himself.

And I believed him.

The thing he'd asked me to do really wasn't dangerous or a lot of work, and it definitely was for a good cause, I believed that now. I'd thought it through, too. So of course I couldn't say no now.

I gulped and cleared my throat quietly. My eyes snapped out of their trance and to Regulus' oddly familiar ones. I nodded again. "I'll help you, I promise."

Had I still had any doubts in Regulus, I'd have lost them now. The relieved and happy smile on his face couldn't be faked (and trust me, because I was an expert in fake smiles.)

"Thank you so much, Freya!" Regulus sighed out in relief. "That's such a huge weight off my shoulders, you wouldn't believe me. Thank you!"

He took another step towards me, but hesitated. "C- can I hug you? As a thank you?"

I blinked at the question, caught off guard. But why not? So I shrugged, now also smiling, and Regulus carefully wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you," he repeated again.

I awkwardly patted his back. "Thank you for finding the right path again," I said to him. "If you really manage to make Voldemort mortal without him even knowing that you do that... you really are a hero, you'd totally change the way this war is going."

Regulus pulled away from me. "I hope it will change something. But now that I can trust that you will tell others in case something goes wrong, I'm much more relaxed about the whole thing. I needed that."

I raised an eyebrow. "But I hope I won't have to spread the word, right?"

Regulus nodded his head vigorously. "Yes! Yes, I'll give my best. But I can't lie- I don't know for sure that I'm gonna survive this, so it was important that someone who'll only tell trustworthy people knows."

A cold feeling ran through me and I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Don't die."

Regulus weakly smiled at me. "I'll try, I can promise you that. I'll reach out to you in a month. By then, I should have all the information together and I should have managed to destroy it. And... well, if you don't hear from me in a little over a month... you should start spreading the word. It won't be for nothing that way."

The cold feeling didn't disappear. I'd rarely felt this scared of something, only some times during battles had been similar to this. Now that Regulus had put his trust in me ... I was scared for him. He had a pure heart. He was a good person and I really really prayed that nothing would happen to him.

I gulped down the lump in my throat. "I will."

Regulus just nodded. "Okay." His voice was merely a whisper. I knew that he was scared, too.

"Are you sure that you want to do this alone? Maybe we can do a little more research together? Maybe we can make it safer, and maybe then I can come with you and help you?"

Once again, Regulus shook his head. "I'm not alone," he said, smiling slightly. "And the less people know for now, the better. We can't risk both of our lives. But thanks, I really appreciate it."

I took a deep breath and nodded again. "Okay. If you say so."

This was his plan after all. I looked at the wand I still had in my left hand and held it out in front of me. "You'll need this, though."

Regulus took it. "Probably." He looked back up at me. "Do you have any more questions? So that everything will work out?"

"No," I said. "I'll get back to you in a month, though." I tried to ignore the nagging feeling in my stomach.

Regulus nodded, pocketing his wand. "Yes, I'll message you. So... that's it, I suppose. Thanks again."

I merely nodded. When Regulus lead the way back to my apartment door, I struggled to keep up, that's how quick he was. He opened the door, only looking back once. "Goodybe."

I nodded. I really meant my last words. "Good luck."

"You, too." And with that, Regulus closed the door and all left of him were quiet foot steps in the staircase of the apartment building.

I locked the door and finally made my way to my bed to end the day. But because of the most recent events, I couldn't fall asleep for a very long time.

I hoped I hadn't done and wouldn't do a mistake, and I really hoped that Regulus would succeed. I really hoped that we'd change this war to the better.

And at the same time, I was scared.

I really hoped that this hadn't been the last time I'd heard from Regulus Black.

Phew, long chapter! it's 2:16 am here, I really gotta sleep now.

but I really really hope you liked it! (and that everything made sense to you too)

now, I'm really gonna have to focus on my studies for my a level exams, since the first three are in January and really important... so I'll see when I'll procrastinate again and write on here instead xD

if I won't see you for that time - wish me luck 😖😥

stay happy though!

xoxo, your fangirl