I was sitting behind my desk, reading through my books about werewolves.

I kept some parchment next to me, so that I could write down the most important stuff, but I was so intrigued by the book that I completely forgot about the quill in my hand.

I kept chewing on my lower lip nervously when I read the details about the illness entering a body after the bite, how there was the unsuccessful search for a cure and how a werewolf's bones had to break in order to fulfill the transformation.

I shuddered at the thought of the pain alone.

When I read the chapter about a werewolf's condition while being transformed, a certain paragraph caught my eyes.

'A werewolf does not remember any of his actions when he is under the influence of the full moon. While transformed, his human mind is completely drowned out by the animal's instincts. The human side is powerless and cannot influence the wolf's behaviour. As a consequence of this, a werewolf can't control himself and would even kill the ones he loves most, which is the reason why no human is safe around a werewolf.'

My eyes skimmed over the last part of the last sentence again.

No human was safe.

No human.

An idea started to form itself in the back of my mind. I remembered some information from the first chapter, so I quickly flicked back to the front.

There it was. 'A werewolf's bite is contagious to any human. Once someone is bitten, they also have lycanthropy for the rest of their lives.'

Again. Human.

There was no mention of animals. Come to think about it, it wouldn't make sense if a werewolf's bite was contagious to animals - or plants. They were living creatures, too. If a werewolf attacked every plant and animal he could find, everything would be a werewolf, since the illness would spread exponentially, and that obviously wasn't the case.

Wow. Honestly, why hadn't I thought of that sooner?! Werewolves only attacked humans. They were only dangerous for humans.

But the marauders are humans, dipshit, my inner voice mocked me.

And it was right. That clue didn't lead anywhere. I looked up from my book and groaned frustratedly.

I was ready to face palm, when I looked at a cover with various animals on it and stopped in my tracks. 'All About Animagi', the book I'd bought yesterday.

Wait a second.

It was as if someone had lit up a light bulb over my head. My eyes widened and traveled back and forth between the book cover and all of Sirius' letters, that were tidily stacked up on the right side of my desk.

He often mentioned his friends in them, the marauders. And the marauders called themselves Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, for reasons they wouldn't tell anyone.

I'd already figured out the meaning behind 'Moony' (it was really obvious once one combined the dots), but the rest of the names had always sounded pretty random.

Until now.

Of course they knew that werewolves were only a danger to humans. Of course they had informed themselves after they'd found out, just like me.

Was it possible that they had managed to become animagi?

It was absurd. They had to have been underage when they learned how to do it, and it was rumored to be really hard and difficult, advanced magic. So advanced that the Ministry of Magic always kept an eye on those who chose to become animagi, because it was very likely that one failed and needed help.

The marauders couldn't have done it secretly and all on their own.... Could they?

I had underestimated them before. They were really skilled and powerful wizards, I knew that first hand.

And James was head of our Transfiguration class. The whole year, even.

And how else could they have stayed with Remus, wherever it was, without getting severely injured and becoming werewolves themselves?

As far fetched as it sounded, it was the only reasonable explanation.

I snorted in disbelief. The marauders were unregistered animagi.

What animals, though?

'Padfoot' sounded easy enough, but after thinking about it, there were so many animals with pads. Cats, lions, tigers, basically all of their relatives, dogs, wolves and all of their relatives as well, and even bunnies- or kangaroos.

I suddenly burst into uncontrollable giggles at the thought of Sirius being a kangaroo. I had the image of a normal kangaroo in my mind, but with Sirius' hair - oh Merlin.

What was wrong with my brain?!

Okay, so thinking of animals with pads wouldn't get me anywhere.

What about 'Prongs'? An animal with antlers, probably. Wow, Freya. Now there's only, like, 100 possible animals left to think of. That really limited the possibilities.

And 'Wormtail'? What was that even supposed to be? Peter's animagus form couldn't possibly be a worm, could it?

Naw. Their names wouldn't get me anywhere. That part of their secret would have to remain a secret.

For now. Maybe I'd find more clues in the future so that this would be solved, too. I'd have to wait.

Rather pleased with myself, I continued reading... Until a knock on my door made me turn around.

"Yes?"

Francisca came in, and my mood immediately dropped when I saw her expression. She was looking too serious for my liking. The pit in my stomach that I'd managed to forget so successfully this afternoon widened.

"What is it?"

She ignored my question and went to sit down on my bed, patting the space beside her.

I hesitated but joined her.

"What were you doing?" Francisca tried to start a conversation.

"Uhm, just some school work," I said dismissively.

My sister tilted her head. "You've been doing nothing but that the in past weeks. Shouldn't you've finished all of the work a long time ago?"

I hadn't expected her to ask more about the topic, so I had to think fast. "We've got... A lot of homework. And I want them to be good, they're part of my NEWT year, after all. Yeah."

I cleared my throat and looked straight ahead, before I remembered what I'd asked earlier. "You're trying to change the topic!" I accused, giving her a sharp look.

Francisca sighed. "I have to talk to you."

"I figured that much."

"I don't really know how to break this to you gently..."

My stomach tightened nervously. "What?"

Francisca sighed. "I've waited too long already, so... I'm moving out."

And just like that, the world came crashing down on me. I opened my mouth, but no noise left me. My eyes burned.

The day had so far actually not been as terrible as the others, but now it beat all of them.

Throughout all of my years without real friends, whenever someone had picked on me, whenever I had felt lonely or didn't find my ways around Hogwarts, and whenever our father had thought it was time to scream at us or beat us.... Francisca had been there with me, always having my back, defending me. Whenever I came home, I looked forward to going to her room and just spend the most time possible with her.

And now she would just.... Go?

I mean, I'd always known that this day would come, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I needed her. She was the one constant in my life that I could always tell everything.

I wasn't ready for her to not be with me whenever she wasn't at work.

"We can always visit each other! Not much will change, I'll just have my own apartment, and not my own room," Francisca exclaimed soothingly, but that didn't help me calm down.

Of course we could always visit one another. And of course she would have had to move out at some point; she was three years older than me! She had suffered under our father's wrath much longer than she actually would've had to, and I knew that she had partly done that for me.

But I wasn't ready for her to leave now.

Not when I already was at my lowest.

That's when I full on started to cry. Francisca quickly bent forward and hugged me tightly. "It's okay, Freya. That's only a really small detail, it won't affect us much. I'll still always be here for you! And I'll spend the rest of your holidays here."

And I knew most of that already. But it somehow wasn't any consolation.

I think that was because I hated the idea of growing up.

Some part of me had always wanted everything to stay as it was, because I had had such an easy and wonderful time as a kid. No responsibilities, always time to spend with my sister and the best mother in the world. I was so scared to lose them.

And Francisca moving out was a great sign of change: I was getting older, and so was my sister. And my mum. There was a terrorist group rising in power. Things wouldn't stay as easy as they had always been.

Some day in the future, I'd have to say goodbye from Hogwarts, since I would be done with school.

And some horrible day, I'd have to say goodbye to my mum too, because time just didn't give a shit, to use Francisca's words.

But because time didn't give a shit, I couldn't change anything.

Things had to play out and I couldn't stop time from ticking.

I just had to accept it.

I nodded in Francisca's shoulder. "I'll miss you so much," I sobbed.

"I'll miss you too, little sister."

****

When Francisca left for her late night shift, I did something I had avoided doing all summer.

It hurt too much. I knew that it would hurt now as well, but at the same time, now it was the best consolation I could get. Nothing could make me feel even worse than I already did.

So I sat down on the little bench on Francisca's balcony and watched the stars.

I pictured myself being back at Hogwarts, on the Astronomy tower with Sirius, doing our tuition lessons. There was no time I'd felt better than back then, when I had just been happy whenever I was with him.

God, it felt as if that had been ages ago.

And even though the thought of Sirius hurt terribly much nowadays, imagining him by my side, watching the stars together still made me feel less lonely.

Oh, how I hated feeling so helpless and insignificant.

I hated it when I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't do anything to help cure Remus' illness.

I couldn't stop time from ticking.

I couldn't prevent Francisca from moving out.

I couldn't stop my mum from getting older.

And I couldn't make Sirius love me when he liked someone else.

I couldn't do anything.

I just had to accept it.

Although I really didn't want to.