When I got my Arithmancy finals back, I clutched my hand over my mouth in surprise.

It muffled my surprised laughter, but since Sirius sat next to me, he was already looking at me, smiling. "What is it?"

Still trying to fully comprehend it, I turned to him. "I got an O!" I whisper shouted. "I can't believe it, oh my God!"

Sirius' smile widened. "Amazing!"

I had actually managed to receive an Outstanding in my finals. In Arithmancy! My second worst subject!

With yet another blush on my cheeks, I replied, "All thanks to you."

Without Sirius sitting next to me and helping me understand everything, I would've never managed to improve.

Funny how my worst subjects were his best ones.

Was it too cheesy of me to think that Sirius and I balanced each other out perfectly?

It was hard for me not to think that - maybe- we were made for each other.

He was loud, I was quiet.

He was confident, I was rather shy.

He was impulsive, I was an overthinker.

He was fire, I was water.

Despite all of this, we were still so similar.

We were two pieces of a puzzle, we fit to each other perfectly. That's what I thought, at least.

What I wanted to be true. What I dreamed of.

Sirius' reply snapped me out of it. "Oh, it's your work that brought you here. I can't improve something that isn't there, can I? You did it, Frey."

"Thanks," I beamed again. "For everything."

Sirius looked a little confused. "Sure? You're welcome."

I wasn't brave enough to elaborate, but to tell the truth - Sirius had turned this year into the best one of my life.

So far. Because I couldn't wait to spend countless years in the future with him by my side. Whichever way.

When the bell signalled the end of the lesson, Sirius gave me one last wink before heading off to whatever class he had next.

The rest of my school day went by pretty uneventfully, since we only received our final results, and I soon found myself packing up my stuff to go home over the summer holidays.

Wow. The year had really gone by fast.

And next year would be my last one at Hogwarts. Weird, how it felt like yesterday when I had been super nervous about my first year at Hogwarts and what house I'd get sorted into.

I had always had trouble with staying away from home. Now, after this year, I was proud to say that that had changed.

I was looking forward to seeing my mum and sister, but for the first time ever, I was sure that I'd miss someone at school just as much as I had always missed my mother.

With an ache in my chest, I realised that I wouldn't see Sirius for almost two months. If he didn't reach out to meet up with me, that was.

I focused back on what I was doing, but that didn't help with getting Sirius out of my mind. I was holding my Astronomy book in my hands.

I involuntarily thought back to our nightly meet ups and just had to smile. Every part of my body started to buzz with that warm feeling.

Then my eyes fell onto my Arithmancy book, and my mind wandered back to all the memories I'd shared with Sirius.

How he'd hit me with the Quaffle and how I'd helped the marauders with their map. How he'd sat down next to me in Arithmancy and how he'd sneaked out to Hogsmeade with me. How he'd turned to me when James, Peter and Remus wouldn't talk to him. How he'd randomly popped up next to me when he wanted to spend time with me.

How he'd helped me improve at Arithmancy and Astrology and how he'd spent several hours baking with me because he'd noticed that I'd been feeling down.

How I wasn't chosen last by him.

I got reminded of how much I actually loved that boy. And I did want him to be with me.

I put the Astronomy book down.

Sirius made me the happiest person on earth. The whole universe, even. So what if I was scared of my feelings? Love was a good thing, wasn't it?

I remembered Sirius telling me about a crush he had. I'd told him to go for it, because the amazing thing he'd get should cancel out the fear of something that probably wasn't even the case.

Several months after that talk, he still hadn't gone out with someone. He spent so much time with me, cheered me up when I felt alone and gave me compliments. He'd even kissed my cheek once. Who said that he hadn't been talking about me?

It was time I listened to my own advice, wasn't it?

I'd tell him. I knew that I'd regret it if I never did.

If I wanted to be with him, I had to toughen up, and Sirius was worth it.

I turned on my heels and exited the dormitory.

It was the last day at school before the train brought us home and before I'd spent too much time without Sirius.

If I didn't tell him now, I'd never do it.

With my heart almost bursting out of my ribcage, I rushed through the hallways. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat

I was incredibly nervous, but also excited. I was really doing this.

To my great surprise, I met Sirius in a hallway and almost crashed into him.

When he realised it was me, he picked me up and twirled me around with the biggest smile on his face. My heart was skipping the usual beats and I couldn't smile any wider, too.

Merlin, how I loved him.

"I've been looking for you! I did it!" Sirius laughed in my ear before setting me back on the floor. "I really did it! I kissed Marlene!"

My heart dropped. My smile, strangely enough, didn't. Instead, it froze on my face in shock. "What?" I said smiling, trying to comprehend the situation.

I'd understood him wrong, I was sure of it.

This had to be a twisted prank, or some dream, or just a hallucination - there was no way this was actually happening. I didn't want to believe it; I couldn't believe it.

This is not really happening. It can't.

But Sirius' reply made my heart clench painfully.

"You remember the girl I told you about? My crush? I finally had the guts to kiss her, and she kissed me back!" Sirius ruffled his hair, letting out another laugh. "I'm so happy right now, I can't believe it! I'm so happy I followed your advice, because you were right, Frey. I figured that it was the last day of school before we went home, so I decided to tell her today- and she actually feels the same!!!"

I had never been stabbed in the heart, but I was sure that this hurt even worse. This isn't happening. My mind was spinning and I felt nauseous.

But I forced the smile to stay on my face.

"That's great, Sirius! I'm so happy for you."

I hoped I sounded convincing. I hoped that he didn't see the pain in my eyes.

"Thank you so much, Freya," Sirius said, grinning like crazy and hugging me briefly. "I'm so happy to have you as a friend."

The words echoed in my head, hallow and painful. A friend.

I nodded at him, wanting nothing more than to get away from here. "Always. Now, I was actually on my way to see someone, so I'll have to keep going. In case I don't see you again, have nice holidays."

I actually hoped that I wouldn't see him again before the train left. I wasn't sure if I could handle it.

To be honest, I didn't even know how I managed to not start crying right that minute. I certainly felt like it.

Sirius nodded, beaming. "Yes, you too! I'll write you, I promise."

I nodded at him, still smiling, and then went past him, going down the first set of stairs I could find, because I knew that Sirius would go upstairs and back to his common room. To Marlene.

Marlene McKinnon, the girl everyone adored. And Sirius did, too.

That moment, something inside me broke.

My eyes finally started to burn and silent tears rolled over my cheeks.

My throat was clogged. I felt as if I couldn't breath.

I felt completely and utterly lost. I didn't know what I should do now.

I wanted alone time, so going back to the Ravenclaw common room or the dormitory wasn't an option.

And I could be spotted anytime and anywhere by that damned Marauder's Map.

They'd be suspicious if they found me on the map, all alone in some random room.

If I didn't want them to find me, I'd have to leave the castle's grounds, but I didn't have the energy for that.

All I wanted to do was break down.

On the seventh floor, I paced up and down, trying to think of a place to go.

I wanted nothing more than a room where I couldn't be found for a couple of hours.

And I know it sounds crazy; I couldn't believe it at first, too, but a door randomly appeared in the wall next to me.

I was way too exhausted to think about it, though, so I just took the handle and went in.

It was a small room, but empty and quiet, with a small blue couch and an empty fireplace.

I dropped myself on the couch. I drew my legs close to my chest, and the silent tears turned into loud and ugly sobs. I allowed myself to let it all out.

No words on earth could describe the pain I was feeling in my chest.

There was no denying it anymore.

I'd actually allowed myself to think that Sirius liked me that way, too. How naive that had been.

I was actually lucky that he'd told me the truth before I embarrassed myself by telling him about my feelings, I suppose.

It didn't matter that I'd been about to tell Sirius the truth.

Because now, it didn't matter that I loved him.

Yes, I had fallen for Sirius Black.

But he hadn't been there to catch me.

I hope I didn't scare you away.... Please keep reading 🙃🙈🥺