Beautiful song, beautiful voice, beautiful meaning. Need I say more?

(And yes, it's originally by Beyoncé but this cover in my opinion is way better)

------

Days passed in a blur, and it was soon Friday. I wasn't focusing right, I was starting to flunk my classes too, all because I had too much on my mind. Sure, we were starting exam period and our lessons have changed slightly so we can revise but I couldn't process anything.

I suppose I kind of expected getting told to 'fuck myself' by Jace, the one person who could say it with such acrimony and would still have me falling to his feet. I did force him to talk to me, I mean, nobody should be forced to be talked to but my emotions got the better of me and actually caused me to hurt Jace's wrist by grabbing it so hard.

I felt terrible about it, what kind of monster had I become? I physically hurt him and I feel like I've just commited mass murder.

I didn't like Jace being angry at me, it was odd. He's practially the happiest person I know, during school that is. When he gets home to his flop of a father, he's not like that. It's more like the father figure to Camellia than her actual father will ever be.

Vince wasn't terrible, I suppose. He was a good father but that's only when he's sober. I had only seen him at Jace's like twice or something, as Jace said, his parents are usually abroad.

Thinking about Jace only caused a lump in my throat, literally every time I see him or think of him or hear his name. My tummy flutters and my hands become sweaty and it's terrible.

I didn't know if I should try talking to him again. I know that I wanted to because I told him that is help with his drunk father and help with Cammie's problems. It's not something I could walk away from, if I see trouble and not do anything about it, I'd feel absolutely terrible and angry at myself. I am ready feeling that way and I don't want another reason to add to the list.

I still had to tell him about me and Flynn, I felt bad keeping it from him even though I didn't necessarily have to tell him, right? It wasn't like we were dating or anything during that time.

Were we?

I didn't even know.

Nonetheless, I felt compelled to tell him but how can I do such a thing if he's just avoiding me and running away all the time? The idiot doesn't even want to hear me out.

I felt like I was annoying him by keeping trying to get us to talk. I hope I wasn't, maybe I should leave him be? Give him some time alone? It's only been four days since I confessed to him and I don't think that's enough time for him to process it all.

I just wish he'd hear me out though, honestly, I wanted to explain, I wanted to help him understand. Avoiding me isn't going to help, we have to talk to each other at some point in life.

We were supposed to be having a physics session today but to be honest, I didn't feel like going. It would be awkward and we wouldn't even be focusing on physics. I reckon one thing will go through one ear and out the other just like everything has for the past few days because I just have too much on my mind. Why is he complicating things for?

I just wish he'd listen.

Maybe if I did go to the physics session today in hopes of him showing up, I'd be able to talk to him.

He wouldn't pass tutoring me because he was the teachers pet and it was his duty to tutor me.

But then again, I pulled out the big L word too early, he probably thought it was best to forget the session.

I suppose the only way to find out was to show up.

-

My fingers trembled as I walked down the corridor, fashionably late of course. My head was spinning with negative thoughts and my emotions were all over the place. What should I feel?

Right now, all I was feeling was regret, guilt and rejection.

I took a breather before putting my hand down on the cold metal and pushing it down. Everything seemed like it was slow motion, the door moved slowly I pushed it open and even while I walked in, everything was just... Slow.

Jace was sat at the usual desk we sit at, his head buried in his hand, his hair a mess and his shirt all scruffy.

"H-hey." I said awkwardly then cleared my throat and locked my eyes on his form.

Jace looked up, his eyes were puffy and he still looked like shit. His eyes had dark circles under them and his lips dry and cracked.

He didn't answer, he just watched me as I put my bags down on the floor and sat at the table that was next to his. I propped my feet up on the chair next to me and leaned my back against the wall.

"You're not going to tutor me today." I stated and he looked confused, "you're going to hear me out."

I was surprised by the confidence that was etched in my voice and cleared my throat, "are you going to listen?"

"No."

"You are going to listen. I'm going to give you time to process and then you're going to reply with what you think."

"Stop being annoying."

"I'll give you a few moments to compose yourself."

I watched as Jace gave me an incredulous look and rolled his eyes before sitting up straight and leaning back on his chair.

Then he started fidgeting and learning forward in his seat, propped his elbows up on the table and intwined his hands together and leaned his head on them.

"Ready?" I asked.

"No."

I rolled my eyes and propped one of my elbows up on the back of the chair and leaned my cheek against it. Jace ran his hands through his hair, messed it up more than it already was and looked at me with baby blue eyes.

"I love you, you know that." I said. What a great start, Zach.

"No you don't." He said. It was almost as if he was trying to believe it himself.

"I do, and it kills me when you're ignoring me!" I exasperated and sat up. "You don't feel the same and I know that and I will wait for you."

"You what?"

My heart starting racing and my hands began to get sweaty. "I was us to be a thing."

Jace didn't answer and combed his finger through his hair a few times so I continued, "I'm being honest, I really like you and nobody's ever made me feel the same way you make me feel."

"Look," Jace said, "that's sweet and all, but, I don't know."

Does heartbreak feel like your heart is ripping violently into two pieces? That's how I felt at the moment.

"Please," I said with a crack in my voice.

"You went behind my back and put stupid porters around the school!"

"Don't let that come between us, please." I pleaded.

He drummed his fingers on the table and looked deep in thought, his eyebrows were furrowed together and his lips were pursed together.

"I.. I don't know." He said.

"What are you scared of?" I huffed and brought my legs down on the ground.

"Everything." He muttered almost inaudibly.

I locked my eyes with his and stood up completely before propping down on a chair that was next to his, at the same desk. "Elaborate maybe?"

"I'm scared of the school finding us out, I mean, too many people know already and God knows what Jessica would do and Ben and Kristie."

"Kristie?" I asked.

"Ben's student." Jace cocked a brow.

In a flash, I remembered a young girl standing in the corner during mine and Flynn's misadventure. I wondered how Jace knew about her and Ben knowing, he only saw me and Flynn in the music room, apparently and that Kristie girl was in the shadows.

"How do you know she was there?"

"Ben tells me everything, I do have friends you know."

"Then why are you worried about him telling the school? I should be worried more, the guy hates me!"

Jace shot me a funny look, kind of like he was constipated or something. I couldn't really tell what it meant.

"What?"

"He uh.. Liked me.." Jace said awkwardly and I could believe what I had just heard.

"You mean he's..."

"Oh, nope. He was questioning. He still is. I turned him down because I didn't want to just be his little experiment. He wasn't happy about that."

Jace buried his head back in his hands and continued to comb his finger through his long black hair. My tummy fluttered when I remembered how much I loved combing my fingers through his hair, especially during our little make your session before Camellia interrupted us.

"Jace."

"Mmph." He muttered into his hand.

"I really like you." I tried again and turned my entire body around in the chair to face him. "Please give me a shot. I can't stand you ignoring me."

Tears started welling up in my eyes and I looked down at my lap. I was being incredibly pathetic but I could help but let the tears fall down my cheek. I didn't even know why I was crying, which was really weird. I felt like I was my ex on her period- that was an absolute nightmare.

"Why are you...." Jace's forehead creased and his eyebrows furrowed.

"I... I don't know!" I exasperated and brought my hands behind my head. By now, I was full on crying, and the most terrible part was that I still didn't even know why.

"You're weird." He muttered and I tried to calm myself down. He was seriously not being helpful here.

When I did finally calm down and stopped hiccuping, then with a trembling voice, I spoke again. "Please give us a shot? You said you really liked me too."

Jace drummed his fingers on the table again and ruffled his hair up, "don't pull anymore stupid shit that could get you suspended, okay?"

"Yes, yes I won't pull any stupid shit that could get me suspended."

"Fine, I'll give us a shot."

Suddenly, my heart was sewn back together and my mood heightened, as then I pulled a genuine smile that seemed so foreign to me in the past few days and stood up off my seat, launching myself at him and sitting on his lap with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Thank you!" I practically screamed and hugged him.

"You have to officially ask me, so I can stick how sappy you are in your face." He smirked.

I frowned and rolled my eyes, "will you, my darling Jace, be my boyfriend?"

"Hmmm..." He brought his fingers to his chin and looked at the wall behind me with such focus.

"Stop!" I whined like a little kid and tore his hand away from his chin and intwined it with mine. His hand fell limply to his sides and caused me to fall forward in an awkward embrace.

"Yes." He finally answered. "As long as there's no stupid shit."

I was leaning forward to kiss him, to taste those lips that I've been craving but he turned his head to the side and caused me to kiss the light stubble on his cheek instead.

"Can we just take it slow." He muttered.

"But we've kissed before..." I cocked a brow.

"Yeah but, I'm still freaked out about all this," he motioned his hands to the area around us, "I'm scared."

"Of what? Me?" I frowned.

"No, of what you said and... What you did and the future."

When I didn't answer, he elaborated, "like when you offered me your bracelet and said the big L word and what we would happen next year when exams are over and what would happen to us if we were forced out the closet-"

"Jace, shut up." I smiled, overwhelmed with so many emotions. I leaned forward to try for another kiss but again, he turned away. Goddamnit.

"Oh come on! I've been craving your lips for so long- oh my god, I said that out loud." I closed my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut. Jace started chuckling and traced his finger down my torso.

I leaned into him again and lay my head down on his shoulder. I've missed times like this, for so long, I wanted him to hold me forever or vice versa.

The air felt awkward around us and comfortable at the same time which was weird, and I mean, really weird. How could something like that even occur?

I knew it would take a while for Jace and I to go back to normal, he was probably doubting the relationship in his head right at this moment, doesn't everyone?

I knew that I was doubting the length of our relationship, how long would we last? How long will it take for Jace to realise how pathetic I could be sometimes?

How long will it take for Jace to start loving me? Will he ever love me?

I snuggled further into him and he wrapped his arms around me limply. I threw my arms back around his neck and nuzzles into the crook of his neck. Maybe I should stop thinking about the future, maybe I should just relish in the present.

"I love you." I said nonchalantly.

"If we're going to date then you need to stop saying that." He murmured into my hair.

"Isn't that kind of backwards?"

"Doesn't matter." He said.

"I want to let you know every day though, every hour, every second." I made this kind of satisfied sound from the back of my throat, "I'll wait for you, you know."

"I know." He rubbed his hands up and down the sides of my torso. "I don't know what to say when you say it though."

"Just listen then," I cleared my throat, "this is going to sound cheesy, okay, so don't laugh because I know you will and then I will just cry under my duvet sheets when I get home."

Jace cracked a smile, "okay, I won't laugh."

"I don't really- well, I don't know how put it, I just- your incredible and probably the best thing that's ever happened in my life. I really really hope we stay together forever because there's no way I will let go of you, I frickin' feel things okay, especially for you, I just feel butterflies and then my whole body heats up a million degrees and that's just when I see you," I combed my fingers through his hair for a while, feeling a huge wave of nostalgia and continued, "the feelings are so new to me and they're only triggered when I see you, when I talk to you, when we kiss or touch..."

Jace cracked a grin and I frowned, "you said you won't laugh!"

"I'm not!" He held his hands up in surrender.

"You want to."

"But I'm not." He stuck his tongue out and I leaned forward, desperate to capture it but he quickly put it back in his mouth.

"Oh come on! One kiss?" I pleaded.

Jace leaned forward with his lips parted, my breathing began to get ragged and all of a sudden, I got self conscious of my breath and whether or not I put nice aftershave on. Jace and I were inches apart and I was so ready for this kiss, I have been dreaming of this moment.

Then he stopped when our noses were about to touch and grinned, showing his pearly white teeth. I frowned and he went for my cheek, giving it a kiss and backing up.

"Aw don't be sad," he grinned and brought both of his hands up and stretched my lips into a smile.

"I will be sad and it's all your fault." I stated and he faked hurt by bringing his hand to his chest.

"Ouch."

"God, I don't even know why I love you, you're terrible." I said dramtically and turned my head away from him and out the window, seeing the sun about to set.

"Just a few moments ago you were saying I was incredible." He smirked.

"Yeah yeah. I was just adding to your already enourmously sized ego."

"Come on, don't be like that." he tried.

I turned back to face him and gave in to him, leaning my head on his shoulder and taking in his aftershave. "God, I missed you so much."

"It's barely been a week."

"Felt like years, dude. That's not nice, you can't just ignore me like that. Don't do it again."

"No promises." he said and started stroking my hair with his skinny fingers. I seriously just wanted to fall asleep like this, with me in Jace's arms and, as much as it annoys me, my tummy fluttering and my heart racing because I could feel Jace's heart racing too, hammering against his chest.

Thump, thump.

It was a reminder that there was chemistry between us and my feelings were requited. Jace may not love me, but he admitted he liked me, a lot.

"You better promise, otherwise I'll get my army of fangirls after you."

"Fine! I promise!" he seemed scared, jokingly of course.

"How's your wrist. I feel terrible, It made me feel like shit the way I could just do that... I didn't mean to okay?" I snuggled futher into him.

"You better feel like that."

I wrapped my arms tighter and tighter around his neck and started whining a ton of apologies and then he kissed my cheek, "I was joking! It's fine, it's fine!"

"Lies."

"Honestly, It doesn't hurt. Never did."

"You were rubbing at it!"

"Because it was just-"

"Save it, Chapman."

"Honestly, Zach, it didn't even compare to the way my wrist hurts after I play a ton of guitar. It's absoloutely fine."

I sighed and intwined our hands together. I still couldn't get used to being this close to him after being away from him for so long. My tummy was fluttering like mad, the hairs on my arms were stood up, my heart was beating faster than Usain Bolt and my hands were gross and clammy.

I checked the clock on the wall in front of me and it read that it was coming up to 5:45.

We've been in this room for more than two hours.

"Well, guess our physics session is up, why don't we go over to my place to actually do some physics, seeming as we missed out here." I chuckled.

"Oh, hilarious." Jace said monotonously. "Unless you mean reading off a textbook, then I think i'll pass."

I got up off his lap and sat back in my own chair and waited for Jace to pack his stuff up in his bag. My bag was already packed.

"I'm glad we made up, how about we make out now." I said out the blue and he gave me a 'watch it' look.

We walked out of the room together and down the empty coridoors. Part of me was bursting with giddiness, the other part of me feared for the future, just like Jace.