Circus clowns danced around in the audience. They barely looked like circus clowns but hey, you could tell they tried. They're faces were painted white, their noses red and their hair coloured green. Some of them had an awesome eye make up thing going on, but some of theirs kinda sucked.

Another group of circus clowns, these looking slightly different, rode around on bikes on the make shift stage, some of them three to a bike and I could only feel sympathy for their discomfort.

Jace looked as if he was having a blast and was even invited on stage at one point but he declined. He didn't want to be stood there awkwardly while everyone watched as clowns danced around him.

A big grin was plastered on his lips and he clapped along with the audience while a bunch of bikers did awesome tricks on ramps and skateboards. Jugglers were in one corner, entertaining the audience that couldn't see the bikers well and a bunch of carnies with long sticks as legs walked around the make shift stage aimlessly.

Tense music boomed from the speakers and the spotlights landed on a new, taller ramp that had been moved to the middle of the stage. A bunch of bikes lined up before the ramp that towered over them as they prepared to do their tricks, clicking their helmets in and running their sweaty hands against their palm. A drumroll echoed from the speakers and Jace gripped my hand and kept one hand clasped on his mouth, awaiting some kind of near death situation. I was picking at my nails with my teeth as the tension coursed through me. My eyes were wide open and it felt as if I couldn't blink because if I did, I'd miss everything.

The drum roll stopped and the first biker clambered up the ramp and did a whole three-sixty from right to left before gravity took over and he rolled down the rest of the ramp. The audience cheered and clapped and then the drum roll began again. Another biker prepared for his near death and cycled up the ramp and let go of his bike, hanging in the air for a while before he fell back on it and wheeled down the rest of the ramp.

And then one by one, each cyclist performed a trick after a tense drumroll, Jace's grip on me tightened and loosened every now and then and was far too enthused into the show to take notice of me noticing him.

I cracked a small but soft smile, he was just so adorable. How can somebody be so freaking incredible? Jace was just, he was indescribable. Let's just put it this way- if everyone was like him, the world would be a much better place.

To be honest, I was glad that Jace was better than me in most ways, I was glad that he was more clever and I'm glad that he would take the time off to help me in school. It was great that he was around because I had a role model; somebody to look up to, to adore, to learn from.

The way he just deals with everything is amazing; I would've never thought that he had an alcoholic father or parents that never took the time off to spend time with him because he stay so strong; he's kind of indestructible if you look at it in a new perspective. He was always trying to put on a happy face, he was always keen to make other people feel happy or help them cheer up.

And that was why I loved him.

Jace was just...Jace.

"And now," the announcer spoke through the microphone. The sound echoed through the tent, "prepare yourself for the big finale!"

My attention caught on all the bikers lined up again in front of the same ramp. The music sped up and they all started cycling up the ramp one after another, maybe a second or two apart from each other. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jace struggling where to look; there was so much going on at once.

There were about five people in the air, some of them have high fives to each other and then rolled down before peddling to the front of the ramp again and clambering back up it.

I didn't blame him, I mean, there was literally so much going on right now I didn't even know where I should look. There were cyclists jumping in the air, doing three sixties, performing other tricks like bouncing on one wheel on top of the ramp a even swapping bikes while in mid air. It was a absolutely crazy but that's what added to the excitement right?

My heart raced, I mean, I could do tricks on BMX's but I'd be scared shitless to go up a ramp higher than two meters. Honestly, these people were making a living off having plenty of near death experiences and they needed to be applauded more.

And giant flaming hoop lit up and about six cyclists jumped right through it. The audience got louder and louder and they continued to clap until the big finale was finished and all the bikers gathered together and were bowing and blowing kisses to the crowd.

The clapping went on for a really long time and soon enough, people were bombarding the exit, all trying to get out as quick as possible. They were all so silly, they just talked and talked and walked slowly without giving a shit about the people trying to get out.

"Oh my god! It's all finished! I wanna watch it again!" Jace yelled out over the noise from the audience.

"Come on," I smiled and pushed him towards the blocked up exit.

"That was so fun!" He grinned at me and intwined our fingers. "Thank you fo-"

"Stop thanking me goddammit, you don't need to." I rolled my eyes and broke our fingers apart, and pulled him over my shoulder. He kicked and yelled while I ran through the carnival and out of it and went to the grassy area beyond it that had been dimly lit up with lanterns. It looked absolutely gorgeous, it was around seven o'clock and the sun was beginning to set on the horizon. We carried on walking and walking until we were far from the carnival and near a cliff that overlooked the city instead.

My first instinct after letting Jace off my shoulders was to grab his hand, pull him in for a long, hard kiss and confess to him my actual feelings.

But I didn't.

Instead, I plopped down on the grass and Jace did too. I let my head relax onto Jace's right shoulder and allowed him to grab my hand and rub his thumb over my hand in circular motions. It felt nice, it felt relaxing, it felt all too new to me.

My past relationships were never really like this. Sure, they were all lovey dovey and cute and all but in all honesty, I was just young and inexperienced. My lack in actually having true feelings in a relationship led me to feeling naive when I'm with Jace so all of this, confessing my feelings, dealing with Jace's family issues, it was all so foreign to me.

We sat for a few minutes in silence. The only sound that was being made was our synchronised breathing and the distant sounds of children screaming from the carnival and the rushing of cars on the motorway. The city lights were twinkling and looked really pretty, the sun that was starting to set left the sky with deep shades of orange and red and left a nice reflection on the ocean in the distance.

I lifted my head and glanced to the boy next to me, his eyes were trained on the view before us but my eyes were trained on the cute button nose of his, the messy black locks and his twinkling sea blue eyes that seemed to suck you into a daze.

"Jace." I uttered.

"Zach,"

"You know I really like you, right?" I lifted my head once more and smiled at him, bringing my head down to relax on his shoulder again. I hope he did believe that I actually had a huge friggin obsession with him and that me liking him was far from some petty school girl crush. Given my reputation as 'womaniser' I would've thought that he wouldn't believe me.

"I know."

"I mean it, I want to travel distances with you, Jace, because as long as you're with me, I'm happy." I sighed in contempt, "nobody's ever made me feel the way you do. You drive me crazy."

He didn't say anything after that and I glanced to him and saw a tear that slipped down his cheek, dear god, emotions were not my thing.

That one thought didn't stop me from continuing though, I was speaking my mind. I wanted Jace to know how much he means to me. It seems that he's deprived of realising his importance recently.

"I want to be with you every day, I don't think I ever want to live a day without seeing your face. Goddammit Jace, you honestly have no idea what you're doing to me. You've pulled me in and now it going to be extremely difficult to get rid of me." my entire body felt heated up, I was extremely new to this. I hope I didn't make a silly mistake and accidentally poke him in the eye or something stupid like that.

He cracked a smile before wiping more at his eyes. I turned around and faced him fully, he did the same. It was just us two, sat cross legged on the grass with the distant sounds of the cars and the wildlife around us and the rustling trees from the seemingly cooling winds.

I took both of his hands in mine and rubbed circles with my thumb on his knuckles.

"I want you to have something." I whispered. If was as if there was a whole crowd gathered round us but I only wanted Jace to hear what I was going to say.

I started loosening the bracelet on my wrist and I finally took it off, feeling the odd emptiness on my wrist. I brought Jace's wrist closer to the bracelet and he violently pulled back, only confusing me.

"Wait.. Whaa- I? Me?" His voice was raspy and coming out in stutters.

"Yes. I want you to have it." I breathed in and out slowly and tried to calm my racing heart.

"But... Me?" He pointed to himself and looked baffled.

"Only you." I tried grabbing his wrist again but he clearly didn't want the bracelet because he pushed the bracelet in my hand as If it was the plague. "Oh come on!" I sighed, "please?"

"No." He looked down at the grass.

"Why?"

"Because.. It's a stupid concept, and it'll mean we have to come out of the closet and.. And... I don't know, why me?"

"It's a stupid concept, totally agreeable." I replied, "but I still want you to have it. Only you, nobody else. I spoke to a mate too; he said it's okay if I give it to a best friend but only between me and you will it be more. The school won't suspect anything. We can come out whenever you're ready."

"Re- really?"

"Yes. I'd kill for you Jace, but more than that, I'd die for you. Do you want to know why?"

Dear God. It's really come down to this, hasn't it?

"I think I already know..." He trailed off and gulped.

"It's because I fucking love you." I squeezed my eyes shut and heard a gasp before I heard loud movements and the crunching of grass going further and further away. The little warmth I had completely dissipated and all I felt was an ice cold chill that ran down my spine.

I dreaded opening my eyes because I knew what was to come, I knew that there would no longer be another person sat in front of me.

And I was right.

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