《Smitten With Him [Editing]》Foreword ✯
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I questioned my sexuality around the age of thirteen, I completely went off dating girls and even stopped having friends that were girls because quite frankly, I didn't enjoy the relationship. I've been manipulated, pushed around, and treated like arm-candy. I wasn't saying it was only girls that did that, it was just my experiences.
I didn't accept my sexuality until fifteen. Before that, I kept denying all the feelings and the signs that said I was gay.
I forced myself to have girlfriends, in a hope that I'd begin to like them again.
I was Zach, brother of Liam, the most popular person in the school, I had a reputation to upkeep and so did he. What if everyone knew I was gay? What would everyone think of Liam?
He has no remorse whatsoever so he wouldn't think twice about dragging me six feet under.
His reputation is the most important thing to him, he believed that it is more important than his own family, that's why he asks me to stay away from him at school even though everyone knows we're related because even though I'm not as popular as him, I have my own reputation.
Zachary Hamilton, womaniser.
After I accepted my sexuality, I knew I would have to cover any evidence of it, meaning seeing people a lot, but after a few dates, right before we're supposedly meant to make it official, I'd cut it off.
I know what you're thinking. I'm a horrible person aren't i? I've heard it a million times already, I've had pointless lectures by Liam, telling me that I should keep a girlfriend for at least two months before dumping her to get rid of my bad reputation.
Liam? Of all people, Liam is the one to help but that's only because he doesn't want everyone to know him as the brother of a womaniser.
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He has to keep his reputation remember?
It's only because everyone will think that Liam would otherwise be another copy of me, meaning also a womaniser and therefore a horrible person.
However, high school is funny because even with my bad reputation, I still have flirty, clingy and overly-perfumed members of the female race asking me out left, right and centre.
You want to know what's worse? It makes me even more popular.
Liam's reputation is the captain of the soccer team, cliche yes? He's also a swimmer, like me but I stopped after six years and he's still going, he's on his ninth year. He is also known for being loyal (unlike me) to his girlfriend of two and a half years.
But Zach, you're a mediocre you can't possibly have women falling at your feet?
Sometimes, being popular has its perks and it's something every girl thrives for, they also thrive for the a particular ornate and sacred bracelet given to a very small proportion of students to give to their partner.
Liam, for example, had given his to his girlfriend. It's a stupid pointless symbol in the shape of a snake that warns people to stay away from his girl. It marks the partner as a 'possession' if you'd like. How ridiculous. I personally would think of it more as a sentimental gift.
It gets even more confusing though, when you give the bracelet to another person, you must have this ridiculous ceremony held by the 'Torvux'.
There's a small clique in our school called the 'Torvux'. These people are the most powerful students in all the school and they hold the ceremony for their fellow peers. Members of the Torvux are given these sacred bracelets.
Guess what?
I'm a Torvux.
There are multiple ceremonies for all different occasions but I won't get into that too much because it is B-O-R-I-N-G.
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The biggest ceremony was at the start of every academic year, when the senior members pick and choose some fresh faces to join our clique. It basically involves the Torvux members drinking till the sun goes up, but if we were to get really in depth, the new members would have to gain the respect of the senior members by doing dares, making a fool out of themselves, and sharing all their deepest darkest secrets.
It's ridiculous, see? However, it is sort of hilarious in a way, because we make a big deal and unmask the new recruits.
Now do you think my fellow Torvux brothers with accept me if I come out to them, let alone accept any male partner I may have?
What if everyone in the school sees another male student (who isn't a member of the Torvux) wearing a particular sacred bracelet that once belonged to me?
What would everyone think then?
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