The room felt as though it was spinning, but I wasn't moving.

I stood there, feeling nothing.

The sounds around me were muffled.

No thoughts in my mind, except one.

Something that I would never even imagine.

The thought of my little sister having cancer.

I wanted to say something, anything, but no words would come out.

My body, frozen in ice.

My mind, running wild.

Someone wake me up. Anyone. Just so that I know this all a dream.

No. It's reality.

My body shaking.

"McKenna."

Matt screams, "MCKENNA!"

"What." I reply barely a whisper. Still staring at the blank wall in front of me.

"Are you okay?" He questions.

"Am I okay?" I say at a normal tone.

"After all this, you're going to ask me of I'm okay?" My rising by the second.

My eyes still plastered to the wall.

"Well, yeah. It's a lot to process." He responds.

"What do you think Matt? You think I'm okay? You think think after all this I'm gonna be totally okay?" I say now screaming.

"Wrong! I'm not okay. No one here is going to be 'okay'. No matter what they say! After hearing this, my world will never be the same! My little sister has leukemia, Matt!! Leukemia! This is okay!" I shout, right before running out the door.

***

All I'm doing is running.

Running to my house from the hospital.

Running with stained cheeks and wild thoughts.

All I want are my blades. This is too much too handle, and they release my pain.

I'm jogging up the stairs to my front door.

I go for the knob and push, but it won't open.

"Uhhhhh!" I groan, loudly.

I kick the door out of frustration.

"Why?" I scream while I throw a punch to my brick wall.

Again,

And again,

and again.

Now I'm screaming as if I saw a person get mudered.

My knuckles, split open with blood running down my hand.

I slide my back down my brick and sit there, staring at the floor going into my own little world.

Surrounded with greatness.

No horrible people.

No problems.

No worries.

Nothing.

"What are you doing?" I hear a voice say.

I slowly turn my head to see who it is.

What is he doing here?

"What? Why are you here?" I mumble.

"Well, I was going to get some clothes for um.. Jessica. Because you know.." He trailed.

Because I really want to talk about that right now Taylor. Can't he see I'm having a crisis.

"Whatever. Well.. umm. I'm kinda locked out of my house so could I just- just like crash at yours for tonight? Plus, I don't really want to go back to the hospital."

I need somewhere to sleep, right?

"Yea, that's cool. Hop in." He says with a smirk on his face..

Creepy.

***

"So, where should I slee-" I get interrupted by Taylor's lips crashing onto mine.

Thing is, I kiss back.

As soon as his lips touched mine, I lost track of everything in my life.

My sister.

Matt.

Jessica.

Everything.

My body gets slammed up against the front door as soon as we manage to get inside.

His hand slides roughly against my bare stomach.

Inching every second closer to my butt. Once there, he reaches under my skirt, squeezing my butt.

This causes me to jump a little bit, but whatever.

I'm so done everything, and everyone.

Stressing over every little thing.

I just want to forget.

"Wrong! I'm not okay. No one here is going to be 'okay'. No matter what they say! After hearing this, my world will never be the same! My little sister has leukemia, Matt!! Leukemia! This is okay!" McKenna shouts in my face.

With that, she ran out the door.

Karlie shoots up, and runs to the door.

"NOOOO!!! MCKENNA!! COME BACK!" She pounds on the door.

"Karlie..", I whisper, "how about we go look to see where McKenna could be going?"

She sniffles, "Okay."

"Alright, let's go."

***

"Well, where do you think is the first place McKenna would've gone to?" I ask Karlie.

"Umm. Probably my house?" She states more as a question.

"Then let's go check." I say as we drive away from the hospital and towards their house.

Karlie is in the backseat, sitting in her car seat since I took The Dylans' car to find McKenna. I got my license about 2 months ago.

"Karlie, how does all of this make you feel?" I ask her, wondering how she feels having... You know...

"I don't know. I don't want McKenna or Mommy or Daddy to be sad." I feel so bad. I have no idea what I would do if I were in McKenna or Karlie's situation.

"We're here."

We both hop out the car. Walking towards the front door.

Once I get there I stop to see a little dent at the bottom of the door.

Barely even noticeable, but still there.

"Shall we knock?"

She knocks on the door.

No answer.

"Wanna ring the doorbell?"

Karlie rings the doorbell.

No answer.

Where the hell could McKenna be?

Taylor grabs my thighs. Silently telling me to jump.

I do as told, and jump up.

He carries upstairs, and into a room. Which I'm hoping is hopefully his room.

He lays me down on his bed. I kick off my Vans and look up at Taylor.

I grab his face and bring it closer to mine. He's straddled between my legs thrown around his waist.

He grabs my shirt and pulls it up, over my head.

I don't say anything; just go along with it.

His lips carry themselves from my lips, to my jaw, to my neck. Leaving ruins of his kisses.

While he's tugging at my neck, I start tugging at his shirt.

He breaks the connection between my neck and his lips and strips himself of his shirt.

He comes back to my lips.

Now he's grasping the band of my skirt.

The only thought currently racing through my mind is:

Is this going to happen tonight?