Anger surged through me.

What the hell! Not only did he ask Jenn out, he brought her to OUR tree! The place he took me!

Matt and I had carved billions of things into that tree. Little things like "M&Ms". Our dads always called us M&Ms because of Mckenna and Matt. Ugh, of course our dads are best friends so I was basically his best friend and he was mine because of how often we saw each other.

That is when Jenn proceeded to look in my direction, and then pulled Matt closer to her and had a full on make out session with him!

I felt disgusted but at the same time I felt tears coming.

I ran towards the bathroom in the park. As soon as I got in, I started bawling. I don't know why. I didn't still have feelings for him... Or did I?

No of course not! He broke my heart. I have so many emotions raging through me that I have never felt before. Matt does this to me. It drives me crazy.

Just then the bathroom door swung open.

"Oh look, the bitch is in here!" Jenn stated smirking.

"Get your ass out of here before I make you get out." I snapped.

"It's a free country, whore." She snapped back.

Before I knew it I had slapped her across the face. I always had a short temper.

Then she punched me in the stomach.

It was now a full on bitch fight.

We started kicking, punching and slapping each other.

"Matt never liked you bitch. It's always been me he liked." She stated.

I am going to kill this bitch in about 5 seconds.

I pulled her hair and a huge clump came out.

I started laughing so hard I almost pissed myself.

"Nice weave, Jenn." I said laughing.

Jenn looked shocked and was about to throw a punch at me, when Jessica came in.

"What the- McKenna!"

I'm not going to ever hear the end of this. Jenn ran out of the bathroom and to her car. She definitely didn't want Matt to see her looking like.. THAT!

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had scratches all over me and could tell that I was gonna have a lot of bruises.

I looked like a zombie.

"What was that about!?" Jessica asked

"I couldn't take her shit." I answered

"Kenna.. you could've gotten really hurt!" She sounded really worried.

"I still like Matt." I blurted out before I could even stop myself.

"Oh my god." She said with her jaw dropped.

"Erm.. I.. Um.." I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know I liked Matt. Why would I say that if I didn't mean it..?

"Let's just forget this happened?" I said more like asking.

"Ok but- Um.. Never mind." she said clearly wanting to say something.

"I'm going to stay here and clear my head." I told her flatly.

"Maybe I'll stay with you. I don't want you to get yourself in trouble." She replied.

"I want to be alone Jess." She nodded her head and walked out of the bathroom.

I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I started walking towards the tree. Matt had now left as the picnic was no longer there.

When I got to the tree, I started climbing. It was a pretty big tree so it took me a few minutes.

When I finally climbed high enough, I sat there just thinking. What would of happened if I just said no to that horrible party a year ago? I'll tell you what would happen.

I would still be dating Matt.

I stayed there for about 5 minutes and then I climbed down the tree and looked at the carvings.

I broke. I knew I was going to do something I would regret.

I ran home and went straight into my bathroom.

I opened up the cupboard and grabbed the one thing that I never wanted to use again.

Jess was the only one who knew what I used to do. What I was about to start doing again.

I grabbed my blade.

I couldn't let anyone know I cut, so I decided I was going to cut my upper thigh.

They check your wrists, never your thighs.

I grabbed the blade and cut my already scratched up thigh. Once I did it, I couldn't stop. I had about 3 cuts on each thigh. I decided that was enough for now.

The physical pain covered up how much my heart hurt emotionally.

I grabbed bandages and wrapped them around my thigh. I knew I was going to have scars.

Why do I do this to myself?