retrospect

noun

1. a survey or review of a past course of events or period of time.

After my step sister dropped that bomb on our date night, I thought about Eyva and her overseas trip the rest of the week, while also fielding calls for orders of my new luxury clothing line. I was sad, about Eyva leaving, not the orders, but at the same time I was happy that she was going out into the big side world to find herself, and decided to buy her a going away gift. I took a long time trying to find something she could use for her travel and get it to her before she left. She is all set for a Friday night flight to Italy where her mum is now living.

At our Monday night's coffee house date, Eyva said she wasn't sure what to think about her mother. The lady had left her as a little girl in the care of a man whom the woman probably knew wasn't Eyva's real blood related father. I thought back to how she looked a little lost when she spoke of her mother.

The new Eyva 2.0 usually came across indifferent and carefree but, I of all people know what it is like to not be wanted, to be lost in the crowd and wonder where I'll ever fit in. For me, this lifetime has become a lot easier, especially since a certain wicked witch and white lily has lost her memory. Even so, I could still guess what Eyva was going through and thinking about with regards to her family. Speaking about her trip, Eyva said she wouldn't stay with her mother for long, but would head over to New Zealand and Australia and tour for a while.

I decided on buying her a high end branded camera. I know she could probably buy her own, but I wanted to do this for her. I was sitting in class, searching online for the gift, when I received a message from Jackson.

[Jackson: Hey Lily. Thanks for the work last weekend. Can I ask you if you have any more work for me?]

[Black Phoenix: We open the café in a few weeks time and I can hire you as eye candy. Can I put you in touch with our café manager?]

[Jackson: Yes please.]

[Black Phoenix: Can I ask what this is about? You, know. Friend asking.]

[Jackson: Sunny got into trouble with a car accident on her bike, causing damage to the other guys car. She didn't do it though. They don't believe her, making her pay. We'll get it sorted, thanks anyway.]

[Black Phoenix: Let me know if you need any help. I'd like to rope Sunny into becoming my personal assistant. I'll email her the job application. Hope it works out.]

[Jackson: Thanks.]

When class finished, I went to the local electronic and photography store to pick up the camera I'd decided on for Eyva's going away gift. It was a camera capable of quality video and came with an attached mic and hand held tripod. I bought it in white – looked really snazzy, and bought her a Tiffany & Co camera carry kit in the trademark aqua blue. It should match her Tiffany and Co travel luggage perfectly, she really is all matchy-match.

On my way home, I received business call. It was another retail store asking if we'd lower our prices for the luxury brand sleep and lounge wear. I had them call my personal assistant to talk details, in my most positive and friendly voice. When the call ended I scoffed, knowing they were another low end retail store trying to get my goods for cheap.

I spent the next three days finding more and more positive – and sometimes funny – reviews for my show. A few friends and associates rang or emailed to congratulate me on my successful show. Mr Anderson also called, congratulating me, then we made an appointment for our next meeting and I spent Friday morning in his office going over all the legal stuff. We covered everything from contracts to investments and new projects that I wanted to move towards, now that I had finished the fashion show.

Both Grant and Patricia were with me and we had lunch afterwards in my new café in Liberty Building. It was still unopened to the public, but we spent the time going over last minute details for the menu and opening night invitations for the follow week.

Friday afternoon Grant and I studied together, working through our uni assignments and group projects. Patricia finalised the three retail stores that would contract my Crystal Pear clothing line, both here in our home city and in the capital. We also finalised the opening of our website and extended a few house wear items for soft furnishings using the same fabric. It was really exciting to see the website finally up and running.

When I arrive at the international terminal of our local airport Friday evening, I was the last in our family group to arrive. It was still about an hour before Eyva's gate call. She was dressed comfortable in high end fashion again and only looked a little nervous. Mum, JacJac and Wallace had also met us there.

"So, you're off. About time." I spoke, once everyone sat down at the tea shop in the airport. We'd all ordered something small to eat, but would eat dinner later. I pulled a chocolate muffin apart for JacJac to eat so he wouldn't get a mess all over his mum who he was sitting on.

"Yeah, you're finally getting rid of me, I see." Eyva and I had developed a really dry humour in our relationship. Love hate, but really truly love. She dissed me, I ragged on her, but under it all we'd really come to learn to love each other over the last few months since her accident.

"Hope you don't come back with your old personality. It sucked." I said then then handed over a gift bag for her to open.

"Yeah, yeah. I've been told that by the time I fly home I should have most of my faculties back under control." Eyva threatened, but it was probably true.

"Hope not." I murmured, as she opened the gift of the camera and travel case from Tiffany and Co. She smiled, really happy for the gift. I mentioned how I'd set it all up for her, charged the batteries and showed her where the extra five SD memory cards were slotted in the side of the case. She blew me an air kiss as thanks then used the camera to take pics and video of her family, right there in the airport.

Our time ran out and the airport speakers called out for passengers on Eyva's flight to head towards the gate. It was time for my step sister to go. We all walked her to the security gate and watched her leave, then I felt a sudden unsettledness, an overwhelming fear that I wasn't going to ever see her again. I suddenly turned around, ran up to her past the barriers that I shouldn't go past, and quickly stopped her.

"Lily?" She asked as I pulled her into a tight hug. I couldn't say anything for a while, just held on to my new-to-me step sister who I'd come to see as a close friend, and I was worried I'd never see her again, like she wouldn't be Eyva 2.0 when she came back.

"You come back. When you are ready to come home, you come back to me, OK?" I whispered, trying hard not to cry.

"Yes." She whispered, shaking a little as she also tried not to break down either.

"I forgive you. You were an absolute bitch and I hated you. But, I forgive you. Just come back as you are." I let her go and walked away, without turning back.

On the way home in the car I looked out the window as I thought about everything that had happened since I'd been reborn this time around. I had changed so much, done everything different just so my circumstances would change and I could live a much better life. I didn't want to relive my life how I did back then again. I also now recognised that I'd grown up a lot and that things have changed as well – my attitudes, decision making, how I related to others...

The twenty six year old mind in the eighteen year old body, it has found me in a lot of strange situations, feeling many different things, but I've managed, and I believe I've managed really well.

I took a deep breath and let it go. No matter how Eyva came back, I would accept things as they are and move on, accepting her, old or new. I had to. There was nothing else I could do about it.

When I was home, I received a call from my mum after I had dinner and was washing dishes up in the kitchen.

"Lily, I was wondering if I could send JacJac around for you to babysit at your place this weekend." Mum asked. I could tell she was concerned about me. She knew a bit about what I was fearing and how close Eyva and I had gotten over the last little while.

"Yes, sure. Can you asked Grant to bring him over in the morning? I think I need a day of games and angel fluff. It would be good for my soul." We hashed out details a bit more, then mum hung up.

I woke up in the morning to a cutie-patootie holding a cutie Furrbutt followed by a best friend on my door step and welcomed them all in.