《Love Me (On - going)》13th
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Kiss
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Tala's Point of view.
Ako, si Allen at si Liam. Nandito kaming tatlo sa condo unit ko dahil hinatid nila akong dalawa.
Pinakatitigan ko lang si Allen habang paulit-ulit na naglalakad sa harap ko habang si Liam ay nakanumber four na nakaupo sa harap ko. He just staring at me habang nakataas ang kilay.
"Ilang linggo ka palang dito nakikipagdate ka na!" sigaw niya sa akin na akala mo okay kaming dalawa.
"How about you? Kakakasal mo palang, humaharot ka na." hindi mapigilang balik ko sa kanya dahilan para mas lalong tumalim ang tingin sa akin ni Liam.
"That's not the point here, Krystal! Huwag mong ibalik sa akin ang usapan dahil ikaw ang pinupuna ko dito!" asar niyang sigaw kaya napangiti ako at umirap.
"Then mind you own business, Allen! I can do whatever I want since I own this life!" aniya ko pagtapos ay akmang tatayo ng magsalita siya ulit.
"Ganyan ba natutunan mo sa California, Tala? Sumagot sa nakakatandang kapatid mo?"
"What if I said yes?"
"Then go back to Cali, Tala! Stay there hanggang malaman mo na hindi tama yang ginagawa mo! Dating with a ramdom guys?" aniya na pinagtaka ko. Random? As far as I remember, iisang lalaki lang ang niyaya kong samahan ako and that is Vince!
"Ramdom? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Don't deny it, Tala! Liam told me!"
"Liam?" aniya ko at napatingin kay Liam habang nakangiti. F-cksh1t!
"Cut your tongue out, Tala?" ani Allen na siyang kinatawa ko ng malakas.
"Wait lang ha? Ang dami kong tawa dahil sa kamemahan ng bakla mo! First of all, I don't know what you are talking about! Second, the man who save me to pervert man is the one who I ask to have a launch with me and third, will you please tell to liam to back off 'cause his accusing me nonsense!" hindi mapigilang sigaw ko.
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Hindi ko na talaga mapigilan yung sarili ko. Saying those harsh things make me calm! Galit at sumabog na ko! This is ins-ne!
Maya-maya ay isang kamay ang dumamo sa mukha ko dahilan para mas kumulo ang dugo ko. Halatang si Allen ay nagulat sa ginawa ni Liam.
Nakataas ang kilay kong hinarap siya na agad din nawala dahil nakita kong pumatak iyong luha niya.
"I thought were friends!" sabi niya habang pumapatak yung luha. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan na maatahimik, nakonsensya tuloy ako.
"Yeah! I'm just a gay who loves your brother, kahit kasal na siya. That's why I really want to tried to destroy their marriage para mapasakin kuya mo. I don't understand because your not a gay! Pero put-ngina ang sakit marinig galing sa kaibigan mo na 'kamemahan ng bakla mo'! You know nothing, Krystal! You f-cking don't know!" pagtapos nun ay mabilis siyang lumabas ng condo at malakas na sinirado ang pinto.
Nanghihinang napaupo ako. Anong ginawa ko?!
"He's right. You know nothing, Tala." sabat naman ni Allen bago lumabas ng condo.
Naiinis kong pinunasan ang luha ko at marahang sinuntok ang dibdib dahil pakiramdam ko hindi ako makahinga.
Kanina, seeing him with my brother made me jealous. Ang weird pero oo, masakit. Alam ko naman na gusto niya si Allen, he really loves him kaya gusto talaga niya masira yung relasyon nung dalawa.
Wala naman kase akong laban. He loves him from the very start habang ako ito, bago lang sa paningin niya. Lonely and boring.
Sumagi ang tingin ko sa pinamili namin kanina kaya mabilis kong hinanap ang alak at kumuha ng tatlo. Hindi na ako nag atubili na kumuha ng baso dahil tinungga ko ito.
This is the best way para mawala yung sakit at insecure na nararamdaman ko kay Allen. Insecure kase anong meron si Allen na wala sa akin! Damn it! Sobrang sakit!
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Nakakailang tungga pa lang ako ng biglang umikot ang paningin ko. Kahit ganun ay nagpatuloy pa rin ako hanggang sa hindi ko na macontrol ang sarili ko at sabay-sabay na nilagok iyon.
Hindi pa ako nakuntento sa tatlo at dinagdagan ko pa nang dinagdagan nang dinagdagan hanggang sa mas lalong umikot ang paningin ko at pabagsak na humiga sa sofa habang kumakanta na animo'y walang nangyari.
Maya-maya pa ay nakita ko na lang ang sarili ko na naglalakad palabas ng condo. Tinungo ko ang condo unit ni Liam sa hindi malamang dahilan, malakas lang akong kumakatok. Wala akong pake kung anong iisipin ng makakakita sa akin pero ito lang ang dahilan para gumaan ang pakiramdam ko dahil nakokonsensiya pa din ako.
Mukhang walang balak na pagbuksan ako ni Liam kaya mas lalo ko pang nilakasan ang pagkatok at pilit na hinuhulaan ang passcode ng unit niya.
Maya-maya pa ay narinig kong bumukas ito kaya malapad akong napangiti ng bumungad sa akin si Liam. He looks so serious habang nakatingin sa akin at akmang sisiraduhan ulit ako ng pinto ng hinarang ko ang may sugat ko na kamay dahilan para hindi niya tuluyang masara.
"Look, Im soreeeh!" lasing na aniya ko.
"Get lost, Tala." aniya sa seryosong boses pero umiling lang ako at marahang tinulak ang pinto na akala mo bahay ang pinuntahan.
Akala ko hindi mabango ang condo niya pero mas dinaig pa ang babae sa sobrang bango.
"Shabi mo hindii mabango ang condwo mow!"
"Your drunk, Tala. Umalis ka na."
"Ayokow nga shabi!"
"Pwede ba?! Umalis ka na lang baka mas lalo akong magalit sayo!"
Hindi ko siya pinansin dahil nakaramdam ako ng hilo kaya umupo ako sa sofa na agad niya din akong hinila para hindi tuluyang makaupo dito.
"Your not my guest, you are not allowed to sit." seryosong sabi niya lang pero dahil lasing ako ay natawa lang ako at winaksi ang kamay niya hanggang sa tuluyang makaupo.
"As if may pake ako sayow?" aniya ko. Akala ko magiging okay ako ng makaupo pero hindi pala dahil hindi na siya nagsalita at animo'y hangin na lang ako sa paningin niya.
"Liam.." tawag ko sa pangalan niya pero hindi niya ako pinansin bagkos ay nilagpasan niya lang ako at pumunta sa kusina.
Tumayo naman ako at pasuray-suray na naglakad palapit sa kanya. He looks so serious habang naglilinis ng mga utensils niya.
Kinalabit ko siya pero wala pa ring epekto.
Kinalabit ko ulit siya nang kinalabit nang kinalabat hanggang sa makulitan at harapin niya ako.
"Ano bang problem—" I cut him off using my lips. Dahil matangkad siya ay tumingkayad ako para maabot ng tuluyan ang labi ko sa labi niya.
Halatang nanigas siya sa ginawa ko kaya sinamantala ko na. I kiss him like there's no tomorrow, just like what he did. Hindi siya tumutugon kaya inis kong kinagat ang ibabang labi niya dahilan para matauhan at malakas niya akong natulak.
Mukhang natauhan din ako sa ginawa dahil sa lakas ng pagkakatulak niya. Tumama pa ang likod ko sa ref pero hindi ko yun ininda.
"Look im sor—" hindi ko na tuluyang natapos ng sasabihin ko nang bigla siyang nagsalita.
"You bitch!"
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