《Chasing Rainbows》5: Ignored, again
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“I think, it should be Esther para cute like me.”
My forehead creased as I heard familiar voices chattering outside. Pagkalabas ko ng cr ay nakita ko ang matingkad na kasuotan ni Esther habang nakaluhod na din sa harap ng mga isda ko. Her outfit is super pink, an alarmingly blinding shade of pink.
“What the hell are you doing with my guppies?” Sinamaan ko silang dalawa ng tingin habang tinatali ang buhok ko into ponytail which is not really advisable for my shoulder length hair.
Sino ba kasing nagsabing haircut ang magandang remedy for heartbreaks? Pusang gala.
“I'm telling Connor na dapat Esther ang pangalan ng gold fish mo para may class and pretty like me.” Tumayo na si Esther at maarteng tinapon ang pink purse niya sa kanyang kama.
“It's a guppy fish.” Buntong hiningang sabi ko. Isang ngiti lang ang sinukli ni Esther saka tinanggal ang pink na beret na paborito niyang gamitin. She's like a living regina george right now na mas maarte pa.
“Whatever, but Connor and Coco are cute names too.” Isang pilyong ngisi ang lumabas sa bibig niya nang maupo sa siya kama niya at tinanggal ang suot niyang spool heels. She's obviously teasing us.
“Wag niyo ngang pakialaman yung mga isda ko.” Lumapit ako sa mesa at naupo sa inupuan ko kanina. “Final na ang pangalan nila. Tim and Coco, yun lang.” I glanced at my guppies then at Connor na ang sama ng tingin sa mga isda ko.
“No, dapat may Connor. Bumili kapa ng isda.” utos nito na para bang nasa kabilang kanto lang ang bilihan. Wow ah demanding. Kailan pa siya nahilig sa isda?
“Sige baks ano gusto mo? Pang sinigang o prito?” Pang-aasar ko pa. Isang nakakamatay na tingin lang ang ginawad nito sa akin. A literal deadly glares that sent shivers down my spine.
“Ewan ko sa'yo! Ka-imbyerna. Una na ako, ciao bitches.” Tumayo na ito at inirapan muna kami bago kumikembot na naglakad palayo. Great. How great.
“You have afternoon classes right?” Nagtataka kong tanong kay Esther na nakahilata na sa kama niya at mukang may balak matulog. The moment I said that, her eyes snapped open.
“What the hell! Akala ko Tuesday ngayon. Omg.” Just like that, she began putting her boots back on panicky. Pati ang nagulo niyang skirt at buhok ay inayos niya pa.
“I'll be back late. May screening for cheerleaders mamayang hapon so yeah.” She checked her self once more bago natatarantang nagtatakbo palabas ng kwarto namin. I stifled a laugh before shifting my position into indian sit.
“Now it's just me and you, Tim.” Nakangisi kong tiningnan ang medyo malaking guppy fish, which is Tim. It's like he understood me dahil lumapit ito sa akin. Napangiti pa ko saglit saka hinawakan ang glass.
“Your owner didn't remember me again.” I let out a sigh. Mukang nasense naman ng isa ko pang isda ang favoritism ko dahil pabiro nitong binangga si Tim at lumapit sa akin. Tumawa ako ng mahina.
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“Papansin ka ah, para kang si...” I stopped and stare at the smaller fish. “Cons nalang pangalan mo. Para hindi halata na pinangalan kita kay Connor.” Nakangiti kong sabi.
Tumayo muna ako saglit saka kinuha ang libreng fish food na binigay ni Mr Lee si akin. Marahan ko lang yun binudbod sa taas at hinintay na lumubog para kainin ng dalawang isda ko. Ang cute nila tingnan.
“Kain lang kayo ah? Tama 'yan.” Habang pinapakain sila ay parang shit na tumunog ang tiyan ko. Pusang gala. Pati ako nagugutom na.
“Bibili muna ako ng pagkain, hintayin niyo ako.”
Nagsuot lang ako ng tsinelas saka kumuha ng pera at napag-desisyonang bumili ng makakakain. It's currently past 3 in the afternoon. Siguro bibili nalang ako ng meryenda tsaka dinner ko mamaya since mahuhuli naman si Esther.
Pagkapindot ko ng button ay saktong bumukas ang elevator. A girl in a low ponytail appeared at mukang busy din ito sa pagtingin sa camerang nakasabit sa leeg niya.
“Ate Remy?” Nagtataka kong tanong dito. Lumingon siya sa akin saka ako nginitian ng maikli.
“Uy, Coco! Dito ka din pala nag-college.” She chuckled. Minsan ko na siyang nahuli na kasama si kuya Trevor sa mall dati pero sabi niya naman na magkaibigan lang sila. So, okay. She's pretty tho.
“Yeah.” I chuckled. Natahimik na kami at busy naman siya sa pag-check ng camera niya. Kumukunot pa ang noo nito at parang hindi satisfy sa nakikita niya. Nagkibit-balikat nalang ako at hinayaan siya since I'm not in a mood to be nosy.
Pagkababa ay nagpaalam na siya sa akin at nagtatakbong umalis. I gave her a confused look before walking outside.
May café around the corner of the uni kaya napag-isipan kong doon nalang bumili. Mga ganitong oras, medyo konti palang ang tao since monday tsaka may klase.
Pagkapasok ko ay tumunog ang maliit na bell sa taas at sumalubong agad sa akin ang amoy ng kape and it was heaven for me. I really love coffees. Nakakarelax silang langhapin, para sa akin. Comfort food or beverage ko ang coffee.
The brown and white theme of the café greeted me. From the wooden tools and tables up to the wooden crafts displayed in the walls. Cute quotes are also scattered in every corner of the café for motivational purposes.
“Flat white coffee please and cinnamon twist.” Nakangiti kong sabi sa cashier. The girl looked at me quite suprised. “Bakit?” I chuckled uncomfortably. Mukang nahiya naman si ate dahil mahina itong tumawa at napakamot sa ulo.
“Ah, ang ganda din po kasi ma'am ng taste mo.”
Napatango nalang ako at nagbayad. I sat on one of the high stool na pang-isahan lang. Dahil mukang matatagalan ay nag-cellphone nalang muna ako. Malapit lang din naman ako sa counter.
“Flat white and Cinnamon twist for—”
Napatigil ako, that was fast?
“Thanks!” Pagkababa ko ay agad kong kinuha ang capuccino coffee ko at cinnamon twsit.
Napanganga naman si Ate girl nang sipsipan ko ang kape ko. Hindi siguro makapaniwala na ganito ako kagutom? Nakaka-offend ah.
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“Uhm,” She started, darting her eyes away. Now I'm confused. “H-Hindi pa po 'yan yung order mo ma'am.”
Pusang gala, ano daw?
“That's mine.”
Kinakabahan akong napalingon sa likod ko kung saan nanggaling ang boses and hell, my mouth hung open nang mamukaan kung sino 'yon.
“Pusang gala, pasenysa na kasi naman eh—” Natigilan ako ng makitang nakakunot na ang noo nito sa akin. As if examining me closely.
“I know you!” Umaliwalas ang muka niya saka tumawa ng tumawa. Buti pa siya naalala ako.
“It's me, Casper! Ikaw yung naghanap ng isda sa petshop diba? Hanep nakita ulit kita.” Nakangiti nitong tinapik ang balikat ko. I uncomfortably laugh saka sinulyapan ang ininuman kong kape niya. Ibabalik ko pa ba?
“Yeah, uhm sorry kasi nainuman ko. Nag-order din naman ako ng ganito, sa'yo nalang yu—”
“Nah, 'di pa naman nakakalahati. Its cool.” Inagaw nito sa akin ang cup at tahasang sinipsipan yun. Without cleaning its tip with a tissue or something! May laway ko na 'yon eh. Kadiri.
“Seryoso ka?” Napatanga ako nang tumango lang ito at inagaw din mula sa akin ang paper bag na may lamang cinnamon twsit.
“Una na ako, bye...” Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay, as if hinihintay niyang sabihin ko ang pangalan ko.
“Coco, it's Coco.”
“Right, goodbye Coco.” He winked then left me there. embarrassed about what I just did. Pusang gala nakakahiya sa tao.
“Here's your coffee and cinnamon twist ma'am.” Pagbasag ng cashier sa pagkatulala ko. Tumango lang ako saka walang ganang kinuha mula sa kanya ang order ko.
Kanina pa ako malamyang naglalakad at di parin ginagalaw ang in-order ko. Kahit pagpasok ko ng convenience store ay 'di ko namalayan. I'm still embarrassed. I shouldn't be pero nahihiya ako eh.
Pumunta lang ako sa noodles and canton section. Same old sweet and spicy noodles nanaman ang kakainin ko. Parang zombie kong inabot ang noodles at nang makuha ko ito ay biglang nahulog ang tabi nitong mga noodles din.
Pusang gala.
Kahit labag sa loob ay lumuhod nalang ako para pulutin yun. Ilang kahihiyan pa ba ang gagawin ko? Sakto pagkatayo ko ay may pares pamilyar na muka akong nakita sa kabilang side ng rack.
Nang akmang magtataas ito ng tingin ay bigla akong naupo. Hiding from Timothee. Bat ba ako nagtago? Bat ako nahihiya bigla? Kainis naman oh!
Tumayo ako at sinalubong ang mata niya. And just like earlier, he just glanced at me saka tumalikod na parang walang nakita. My left eye twitched saka ako napangiwi. Konti nalang babatukan ko na ang baklang 'yon. Di parin ako maalala! I was ignored, again.
How many encounter do we need to have para maalala na niya ako? Ganun na ba ako kabilis kalimutan? O hindi ba talaga ako kaalala alala?
Sa sobrang inis ay sinundan ko si Tim. Nagbabayad ito ngayon sa counter. Susugurin ko na sana siya at sasabihang 'Ako yung babaeng tinulungan niyaa three years ago at yung babaeng bumili ng isda two days ago' but I was too scared.
Tumigil ako, isang hakbang mula sa likod niya. At imbes na sumbatan siya ay tinaas ko nalang ang kamao ko at nagkunwari sinusuntok siya kahit na hangin lang naman natatamaan ko.
“Bwisit ka, pusang gala ka, ang cute kong bakla pero ang hina ng uta—”
Natigilan ako nang may mahagip akong nakatingin sa akin. Paglingon ko sa isang tabi ay nakita ko ang isang batang lalaki, may hawak itong lollipop na nakabitin sa ere at parang naiiyak akong tinitingnan.
Pusang gala, natakot ko ba siya?
“N-No, I'm just J-Jok—” Halos kumabog ng napakalakas ang dibdib ko nang magsimulang suminghot ang bata. Holy muffins! Now what am I gonna do?!
“Mali ang ini—” Natigilan ako nang bumukas ang pinto ng convenience store na malapit lang sa inuupuan ng bata. A pair of confused eyes greeted me.
“Uh,” I awkwardly scratched the end of my eyebrow bago sinulyapan ang batang tuluyan nang naiyak. Pusang gala! Child abuse na ba ako nun?
“What are you doing?” Connor asked habang naguguluhang nagpapalipat lipat ang tingin mula sa batang umiiyak at sa akin. Dahil sa sobrang kaba ay hinatak ko siya palapit sa akin, papalayo naman sa bata.
“Hindi ko pinaiyak yung bata!” Depensa ko. Baka mamaya ipakulong pa ako.
“Ang defensive mo, gaga!” Marahas niya akong binatukan. Sabay naming pinagmasdan ang batang umiiyak parin hanggang ngayon. His mother is stopping him kaya lang hindi niya malapitan dahil nakapila siya sa counter.
“Ano ba kasing ginawa mo at—” Hindi na natapos ni Connor ang sasabihin niya nang may lumapit bigla sa bata. Nagkatinginan pa kami ni Connor at parehong napataas ang kilay saka lumingon ulit.
“Pusang gala, ang perfect talaga ni Tim.” I muttered while staring at Timothee na ngayon ay binibigyan ng ice cream ang bata. The mother of the kid thanked Tim bago siya tuluyang umalis.
“Iba talaga ang bakla mong crush.” Natatawang bulong ni Connor. Kinikilig ko lang siyang hinampas at napakagat pa sa kuko ko sa sobrang kilig.
“Sabi sa'yo eh! Crushable talaga si Tim.” Kinikilig ko paring sabi habang nakatitig sa likod ni Tim na ngayon ay nakakalayo na mula sa paningin ko. Gwapo na nga, mabait pa. San pa ako? Ede kay Tim na.
“Whatever.” Umiirap na umalis si Connor at dumiretso sa beverages ako naman ay nakangiti padin sa nay pintuan. He's so dreamy!
I was on that state when my face automatically fell the moment my eyes landed on that kid who cried earlier.
Ang sama na ng tingin nito sa akin na para bang inagaw ko mula sa kanya ang kinakain niya. Napalunok nalang ako saka nag-iwas ng tingin. Baka mamaya makagawa talaga ako ng bagay na pwede kong ikakulong.
• • • •
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