The air outside remained stagnant, the warmth unusual since it was nearly November. I sat quietly on the step next to Asahi, amusing myself by swishing my drink around in its cup. The silence dragged on and I began to wonder if he'd ever speak up; luckily he did before my drunken mouth let me speak my thoughts.

"Suga, why are you here?"

"(Y/n) invited me."

"Do you think being here is what's best for her?" He sighed, exhausted.

"I don't understand the question," I mumbled. I felt weightless but also as if my legs were made of lead, every tiny movement magnified.

"You know exactly what I'm trying to say, Suga. I don't care how drunk you are; you hurt her and you should know that it's best if you just stay away."

"What?" I turned to face him. An anger bubbled up inside, Asahi's bravery pissing me off. "What the hell do you know about (y/n)? What do you know about us?"

"I know that I'm the one she's been crying to the past month," he said, his expression dark. "I know that you hurt her more than she'll ever let on to you, even if you got back together. I know she's not the same anymore and that it's your fault. I know that me, you, and Daichu aren't the sa-"

"Would you shut up?" I slurred, wobbling as I stood up. "Y-you don't know about (y/n), you don't know about Daichi, and you certainly don't kn-know about me." I began to walk back up the stairs but nearly fell down as Asahi whipped me around by my shirt, shoving me against the metal railing. He leaned so close his breath tickled my cheek, hot on my skin especially with the already oppressive humidity. He spent a few moments glaring at me, holding me up off my feet by my collar as if I weighed nothing.

"I'd like to think I once knew a lot about you and Daichi until you two started fucking around behind my back," he whispered, his voice laced with a venom that could kill. The person holding me up was not the Asahi I knew; his eyes were dark like liquor, his usual meek demeanor all but dissipated. He wanted to hurt me, whereas the Asahi I knew was incapable of even laying a finger on anyone.

The sound of the door opening behind us saved me just as Asahi cocked his fist, both of us turning toward the sound. (Y/n) stumbled out, her movements sloppy as she approached us.

"H-heyyy guys," she drawled, swinging a bottle in her hand. "What's goin' on?"

"(Y/n)," Asahi said, the usual twinge of anxiety back in his voice. "Are you okay? Maybe you should lay down."

"Maybe-" She hiccuped. "Maybe you... should lay down."

I laughed as I slowly climbed the stairs, my legs jelly beneath me. I knew I was just as drunk as (y/n) but for some reason it was funnier to watch her stumble and slur, her cheeks pleasantly flushed.

"(Y/n)..." Asahi whined, taking a step closer to her. Her eyes darted to where I subconsciously swayed in place, a smile across her face as she pushed passed Asahi.

"Koushi," she giggled. "You're drunk." The words poigently fell from her lips in a very matter of fact manner, accentuating the 'k' sound.

"So are you," I laughed, my hands cupping her face on their own. Asahi looked down at us, his expression growing dark. I hardly noticed though, the way she curled pieces of my hair around her fingers, bumping our foreheads together as she went on about absolutely nothing.

Asahi grunted loudly, our attention pulled to him.

"Seriously, (y/n)?" He said, his words sounding more like a plea. "What are you doing? You've cried on my shoulder every night over him and now you're right back in his arms after a few drinks?"

"Asahi, it's n-none of your business," she mumbled, still gripping my arm. "Just go back inside and get drunk like the rest of us."

He gazes at her for a long moment, his eyes welling up a bit. He whips his head to me, anger dark on his face as he stepped past us, shoving me on his way by. Before he stepped down the stairs though he stopped, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

"Listen, (y/n)," he spoke. She clung onto me, her head resting on my shoulder. She grunted in response.

"Don't call me over anymore when you're upset. I can't do it anymore and I'm obviously just wasting my time."

"Okay." She agrees almost happily, squeezing me tighter. He lets out a shaky breath before continuing down the stairs and across the small street to his house, his giant figure seeming small in the distance. She nuzzled into the crook of my neck like a kitten, practically purring as I ran my hand up and down her back.

"Let's go inside," she giggled, pulling me along behind her.

Inside I could hardly focus on anything besides walking in a not so straight line, unable to put one foot in front of the other. (Y/n) led me to the kitchen, pouring each of us another drink while she hummed to herself. A good amount of the drink ended up spilling across the counter and floor as she handed it to me, both of us just laughing over the mess. The living room was pretty packed but we managed to find a space on the couch where I pulled her on my lap. She wiggled around to get comfy but I knew she was intentionally trying to drive me crazy.

"Heyyy, Koushi," she giggled softly into my ear.

"Yeah?" I laughed, playing with her hair as if no one else was in the room.

"We... are not having sex tonight." She laughed, burying her face in my shoulder. I almost spit as I started laughing too, tears welling up in my eyes.

"It wasn't that funny," she whined, despite also having tears rolling down her cheeks. I pulled her in close, her warmth such a strange but familiar comfort that I couldn't help and revel in it. I wanted her alone despite what she'd just stated, and even though I knew I couldn't get drunk enough to do it anyway it gnawed away at me as she pushed herself closer and closer with every giggle and sip of her drink.

Soon enough people started passing out; on the couch, on the floor, in chairs around the tiny kitchen table, on the kitchen table. (Y/n) was softly snoring on my chest and I wanted to let her sleep but I was wedged between two strangers whose legs kept jerking into mine. I somehow managed to get her off of me and practically dragged her into her bedroom, pushing her off of me and onto the bed.

"C'mon, baby," I slurred, finding myself in between fits of laughter as I moved her around on the bed, her body like a rag doll. She groaned, squirming beneath the sheets as she got herself comfortable. Seconds later she was snoring again, louder this time.

I let out a sigh of relief as I flopped onto the bed next to (y/n), still careful to keep my distance. Sleep quickly grasped me, my drunken thoughts fading into a warm numbness; despite this though I still felt an arm wrap around my body, a head nuzzle into my chest and I found myself pulling her closer, too drunk to care if she was pissed in the morning.

Which she was.

After everyone had gone home, I offered to stay and help clean up the apartment since it was absolutely destroyed. The pounding in my head was incessant and I enjoyed the silence as I picked up empty cans and bottles off the floor. The time passed and (y/n) and I remained wordless; after about an hour the place was clean again. I stretched out on the couch, closing my eyes for a moment.

"Koushi," (Y/n) spoke, her voice a little apprehensive. "I'll take you home now if you're ready."

My heart skipped; everything she said last night was just drunken babbling and I'd gotten my hopes up for nothing. The weight on my chest was so heavy it physically ached and I didn't know how to respond besides 'No,'.

"Uhm," I stuttered, clawing for a reason to stay. "Can I take you out to breakfast or something? Don't you want to eat?"

"It's fine," she answered, her voice flat as the jingle of her keys reached my ears, calling me away from her.

"Please," I stood up, my emotions taking over me. "Please, (y/n), give me a chance."

"Koushi, stop. I'm so fucking hungover and no offense but you are the last person I want to deal with right now," she said quietly, rubbing her temples. "I just don't have it in me right now."

I knew she was at her breaking point but I couldn't help pushing further, hoping she'd somehow find it in her to let me stay a little while longer.

"(Y/n), just let me take you out and then I'll leave- you don't even have to drive me home. Just please-"

"Koushi, stop. I don't owe you anything. If I knew you were gonna act like this I wouldn't have invited you."

"Seriously?" I stepped closer, a shadow of anger slowing growing behind me. "I'm trying my best to show you that I love you and you won't even respond to a single text for a month. I'm finally here with you and you're treating me like a criminal."

"You fucking are, Koushi!" She shouted, her voice cracking. "You are a criminal! You made me feel like less than a human being and you expect me to be ready to let you in as if you did nothing!"

"I can't say sorry enough, (y/n), okay? What do you want me to say, what do you want me to do? I know I fucked up and I'd do anything to take it back but I can't! I can't take it back and I'm doing anything I can to make you see that I'm sorry!"

"I want you to get out!" She screamed, pointing at the door. "I want you to get out and leave me alone with my broken fucking heart because that's what you left me with, Koushi! You left me with nothing and somehow you still expect me to have something for you!"

"All I'm asking is for a second chance!"

"And you don't deserve that! You don't even deserve what I've given you so far! I should have left you for fucking dead like you did to me!" She screamed, tears easily flowing down her cheeks. We were only about a step apart now but the distance felt like an ocean, impossible to cross. I openly cried now too, a mix of anger and guilt fueling my tears.

"Please," I squeaked, my voice breaking. "I need you."

She visibly shook where she stood in front of me, choking back her sobs to no avail. She put her keys down on the counter and my heart soared only to crash back down as she walked to the door, opening it. I stared at her in disbelief; she met my gaze with wide, hollow eyes, a sort of certainty in her actions.

"Is this it?" I managed to choke out.

"Koushi," she breathed, collecting herself for a few moments. "Life is unpredictable. I never expected to meet you and I never expected you to break my heart how you did." Her reminder cuts through me, the blistered wound in my chest opening up again.

"I can't say I expect to ever trust you again, but... life is unpredictable. I'm not the type to say 'forever', so for now I'll just say you never know." She's finished talking and it's time for me to leave until 'you never know'. I carry myself across the space from where I stand to the door and spend a long, long moment taking in every last detail because 'you never know' sounds more like 'eternal damnation' to me. She nods, encouraging me out of the door and suddenly I'm standing in the hallway with the door closed behind me and (y/n) on the other side. The sound of the door is more like the slamming of a gate, keeping me out forever.

I remember every last detail on the way home because I'm taking note of what to do next time that might change our outcome; that might change you never know into forever.

My thoughts are slammed to a halt when I walk inside my house though, finding an oddly calm Daichi sitting on my couch, chatting away pleasantly with my mother.