《forever | sugawara x reader》12
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We sleep in until almost ten; I don't care about missing practice this time, despite the multiple texts that buzz and threaten to wake us up from our fragile little reality. I hug her close and as she begins to wake up I realize these are the last few hours I have with her. She's not leaving forever but it feels like it, the pit of my stomach twisted as she nuzzles into me.
"What time is your flight?" I ask, my voice still thick with sleep.
"Not until four. I have to leave by two-thirty though since Keishin is dropping me off at the airport," she huffs, rolling her eyes. "I should shower and pack and stuff actually." She sits up, completely naked except for one of my t-shirts. I trail my fingers down her thigh, her skin warm and soft. I'm tempted to pull her back into bed but I let her go; she stands in the doorway, looking at me where I lay.
"Aren't you coming?" She asks, pulling my shirt down a little. I follow her quietly into the shower even though the idea of it seems awkward and a little claustrophobic. She turns the water on and sits on the closed toilet seat as the mirror fogs up. She pokes my bare stomach, staring up at me through her eyelashes.
"Don't look so sad," she says. "Let's think of something special to do when I get back. That way there's something to look forward to."
She peels off her shirt, testing the water with her fingers before stepping in the shower, pulling me gently by the hand with her. It's a big shower with a glass door, the shampoos and soaps neatly placed on a rack climbing the wall. She closes her eyes as the water washes over her; there's enough room for both of us to comfortably stand underneath the water so I wet my hair, afraid to close my eyes in the case that she's just some sort of fantasy.
"What if we dress up and go to a fancy dinner? Or we can drive to the beach, or go to an amusement park," she squirts a sweet smelling shampoo in the palm of her hand, lathering it up in her hair. My hands move on their own accord, washing her hair gently, careful not to get any in her eyes. She smiles with her eyes closed and I wish I could have taken a picture of her in that moment- shampoo in her hair, no makeup, no anything, just (y/n) with her lips curled up and her eyelashes resting on her cheeks. I rinse out the shampoo, her hair soft between my fingers. She hands me the bottle and I wondered if it was strange to want to smell like her (or to want my hair as soft as hers).
"Hey," she says. "Did you hear me? What do you wanna do when I get back?"
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"Hm?" I rinse out the shampoo and look at her as she scrubs her body with a multicolored bar of soap, the smell warm and coconut-y. "You're probably gonna be really tired when you get back, you know. Why don't we just wait 'til you're back to decide?"
"That's probably true," she chuckles, rinsing herself off. She grabs a bottle of conditioner that matches the shampoo and repeats the process for me, giggling as she runs her fingers through my hair. "Your hair is so pretty."
"So is yours," I laugh, hoping the water would hide my blushing face. We finish up and my first time sharing a shower with someone was less humiliating than I thought it would be. I'd felt low since last night, like my every move was unnatural and awkward, but I began to regain my usual sense of self as we stepped out of the shower. She tossed a towel to me and I thought it was funny how she flipped her hair over, wrapping it up in a towel. She covered herself and smiled at me when she realized I was staring, coming close as I fumbled to cover myself.
"We've got a few hours," she whispered, her voice soft as her hands fell to my shoulders. "Seriously, at least pretend to cheer up. I don't wanna remember you being miserable for the next two weeks."
She squeezes my shoulders in an almost mom-like manner, pulling me along with her back to the bedroom. She opens up her closet; by the time I'm finished getting dressed she's still filing through each piece of clothing, looking cold as she stands in just a towel.
"I don't know what to wear," she whines, pouting at me.
"Wear a dress," I smile, plopping onto the edge of the unmade bed. The sheets are cool beneath my fingertips. "I've never seen you in a dress before."
She avoids my gaze with the most subtle smile on her lips, her cheeks blushing. The image of her twirling around in a dress pops into my head and I'm suddenly desperate for it to be real.
"Go in the other room," she says.
I quietly leave and shut the door behind me, a flutter of excitement in my stomach. I find myself in the living room, staring at the blank walls. I remember when she came over my house after we kissed for the first time, and how she wished her apartment felt more like a home. I wanted to make this place home for her; to make memories worth hanging up on the walls. The bedroom door opening pulled me from my thoughts.
She stepped out and gave me a face that said What do you think? I looked her up and down- a little black dress that fell just above her knees, spaghetti straps showing off her shoulders that had bronzed in the sun. She looked comfy in it and I had the urge to pick her up and spin her around like in the movies. She stepped over to me, her footsteps quiet.
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"Well?" She looked at me expectantly, her hands resting on my biceps, rubbing little circles on my skin.
"You look good," is all I can manage. I let my hands fall on her waist, the fabric of her dress cool beneath my skin. She gently kissed me and I pulled her closer before she stepped away, my heart aching to be near her.
"I have to pack," she gasped once I finally let her go. She floated into her bedroom, the motion of her dress enticing. I followed behind, sitting on the floor next to an open suitcase while she plucked garments from her drawers, a pile building up next to me. I began to fold them into piles neatly, careful to avoid any underwear.
"Oh," she said, turning around. "You didn't have to do that."
"It's okay," I answered. "I feel like a freeloader if I just sit around."
She lets out her strange laugh, plopping down next to me and packing the open suitcase with the piles of clothes. She messily tucked all of her underwear and bras into the zip open pocket; I wondered if she would have done the same with everything else if I hadn't folded it all. I remembered our first date when she pulled an old wrinkled shirt from the backseat of her car and had my answer.
"(Y/n)," I spoke, my voice seeming loud in the apartment. The air conditioner was on low today, the heat outside taking a break.
"Yeah Koushi?" She looked up at me, her gaze focused. Even though it frightened me sometimes, I loved the way she gave you all her attention, like you were the only person in the universe.
"I love you," I said, my voice just enough to be audible. She continued to stare at me, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed. It felt different to say it to her in the daylight, fully clothed as opposed to in the heat and passion from the night before. She finally smiled at me, her gaze softening.
"I love you." Her voice is smooth and warm like honey and her eyes pierce through me despite their gentleness. She began to pack again, gathering clothes from her closet and throwing them on the ground in another pile. I quietly begin to fold them, a calmness settling between us that I wanted to hold onto forever.
-
The first week goes by agonizingly slow, our only communication through fuzzy, broken Snapchat calls over hotel wifi. I noticed her calling out to people unseen by the camera in English; I'd usually respond in English too, which always made her laugh. I hated the time difference, and how our schedules never seemed to meet up. The only thing keeping my head up was the volleyball camp coming up. I'd already broken it to (y/n) that I'd be away for a few days still once she got home.
I was packing the night before the camp, Daichi laying across my bed, flipping through an old Spiderman comic book.
"I can't believe you waited to pack until the last minute," he laughed.
"Tomorrow morning would be the last minute," I returned, chuckling. "I'm ahead of schedule the way I see it."
He turned on his side, smiling at me where I sat folding and packing. Daichi had been around a lot since (y/n) left; it was nice to see someone else besides her outside of practices and school.
"Do you want any help?" He asked. I felt odd as I took note of how deep his voice was compared to (y/n)'s. Why would I notice something like his voice? I ignored the thought, standing up and stretching out.
"Nah, I just need to pack deodorant and my toothbrush, stuff like that. I'll save it for the morning." I sat on the edge of my bed next to where he laid down; he gazed up at me, his eyes intense.
"It's hot in here," he mumbled, turning away. He propped himself up on his elbow, leaning across my nightstand to push open the window. It was late, my old alarm clock flashing 11:11.
"Make a wish," I spoke, smiling. I closed my eyes as I wished for time to go by quickly while (y/n) was gone. I opened them to see Daichi looking straight at me.
"What did you wish for?" I asked.
"I can't tell you," he said, turning his gaze downward. "Or else it won't come true."
I laughed, standing up to get the air mattress from the closet. He stayed behind, laying across my bed, his expression distant now. Once I dragged it back in, he helped me plug in the pump, shutting the door so the noise wouldn't wake up my parents. It always felt easy to be with Daichi but there was a tension now as he seemingly refused to meet my eyes, the silence suffocating.
Once the mattress was blown up I expected us to take our usual places when he slept over; him on the bed and me on the mattress. But instead he sat cross-legged next to me on the mattress, flipping through the comic book again.
"We used to love these," he said, his voice softer than usual. "We'd collect all the books and beg our parents to buy us the toys."
"You even had a birthday party once, that was all Spiderman," I laughed. "You were Spiderman for like, eight Halloweens in a row."
We laughed together, reminiscing on everything we did together as kids. It felt natural and easy again, like everything was in its place. We laid on our sides, speaking in hushed whispers until we fell asleep next to each other.
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