(A/N): this chapter contains nsfw material !

Time passed quickly, summer days long and nights still longer as weeks on the calendar had suddenly passed. Summer vacation arrived before I knew it, over a month with nothing to worry about besides (y/n). We spent nearly every day and night together, the only interruption volleyball practice. It felt strange to think of volleyball as an interruption when it had been just the opposite but when I was with (y/n), everything that wasn't her felt like a bit of a chore.

She picked me up from practice usually; she was often sprawled across the seats when I found her, lazily scrolling through her phone with her feet dangling out the window. I liked seeing her in the summer heat, her legs exposed on a daily basis, her cheeks always flushed from the heat, her skin slowly growing shades darker from the sun. I wondered if she was just as captivating in the winter- the idea passed quickly because I knew she would be.

I was walking out of the gym with Asahi, shortly after vacation had begun. (Y/n) was waiting, music loudly playing from the car as we approached. Her lips were pressed in a tight pout as she scrolled through her phone, not noticing us even when we were right in front of her.

"Hey, (y/n)- senpai," I yelled over the music, plucking her flip flop off one of her feet. She glared up at me, her expression angry as she sat up in the driver's seat.

"Don't call me that," she mumbled, taking her shoe back. She slipped it back on and returned her attention back to us, her eyes turning to Asahi.

"Do you want a ride home, Asahi?" She asked. I could tell she was trying to be nice but she practically spat out the question, her voice laced with annoyance. He profusely refused, his face crimson as he joined Noya and walked home despite living across the street from (y/n). I silently sat in the passenger seat, reaching for the volume before I even tossed my bag in the back seat. She glared at me, maintaining eye contact as she proceeded to turn the dial even louder than it was to start with.

"What the hell?" I shouted, turning the volume down again. She shouldered me as she turned it back up, her eyes wide with anger as we fought over the volume. She remained silent and I had no idea what to do; I'd never seen her act like such a brat before. I finally gave up and let her have her way, the music threatening to deafen me as she drove us to her apartment.

Both of us stayed silent; even as we walked inside she shuffled into the living room, sitting on the couch with a grumpy expression. I tossed my bag in the kitchen and walked past her into the bedroom to change. I kept a drawer of my clothes in her bureau now since I was over so often, but I wished I was home more than anything else right now. Once I changed I sat next to her on the couch quietly, knowing she had a reason for her behavior even though it annoyed the hell out of me. I shifted my body so I was facing her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"What's wrong?" I treaded, my voice as gentle as I could manage. She looked at me through the corner of her eye, her gaze unreadable.

"I don't wanna talk about it," she grumbled. I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes, desperate to try and smile instead.

"Baby," I cooed, knowing she liked when I gave her pet names. "You can't just stay mad and not tell me why at least. C'mon, what happened?"

She groaned, dramatically flinging herself in my lap. I couldn't stifle the chuckle before it left my lips, her cheeks completely red as she began to open up.

"My manager," she sighed, clearly displeased. "Thinks I need to travel more so that editors from magazines and stuff see me as someone with a diverse background. She wants me to go on a speaking tour for like, over three months." The thought stops my heart for a beat, my body numb.

"I'm not gonna do it!" she continues, waving her hands as she sees my reaction. "I'm too happy here to leave for so long. And I couldn't leave you for even a fraction of that time."

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, my heart returning to normal. She avoided my eyes now, her expression becoming cloudy.

"But," she said, her voice cracking. "I couldn't completely shut her down or else I'd lose my job. So, tomorrow I'm leaving for two weeks on this crazy, whirlwind sort of thing. I'm going to be speaking at like, over forty different schools across the United States..."

Almost half of summer break she would be gone. I was ecstatic for her despite my sinking heart, knowing this was the kind of opportunity that would really change things for her.

"That's incredible, (y/n)," I said, my tone completely betraying my words.

"No its not," she whined. "I don't wanna leave you for that long, Koushi. It's gonna suck and you know it." She sat up from my lap, looking at me seriously. She wanted me to beg her to stay but I couldn't; I knew this was bigger than me and exponentially more important.

"It's gonna suck but you can't not go, (y/n). I'll be here waiting for you the second you come home, plus- two weeks is better than three months." She pouted at me, clearly disappointed in my answer.

"I don't wanna go," she said, her voice raising in pitch. She tucked her head in and I knew she was trying not to cry; I was upset too, especially that she was leaving on such short notice.

"I know," I hummed, trying to stay calm. It was funny how attached we were, every moment apart feeling like a death sentence. She dropped her head to my shoulder, her expression twisted as she willed the tears in her eyes not to fall. I slipped my arm around her and kissed her forehead, unable to find the right words.

"What do you wanna do?" I ventured.

"Die."

I elbowed her, frowning where she leaned against me.

"Don't say things like that," I scolded.

"Sorry, mom," she smirked, snuggling in closer to me. Her skin was warm against mine despite the air conditioning; her arms were bare in a thin tank top, her black bra almost fully visible through the fabric. I couldn't deny that I wanted her- especially with her leaving in mere hours. I hesitantly leaned in, touching my lips to hers gently. She returned the kiss, our motions soft but sure.

"We should do it," she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Do what?" I asked- I knew exactly what but I was far too nervous to say it, my hands immediately sweating where they sat in my lap.

"Let's have sex," her voice is clear now, despite her flushed cheeks. "I'm gonna be gone for a long time and I don't even know why we've waited this long anyways. It's not your first time, is it?"

I began to stumble over my words, my entire face burning as embarrassment washed over me. Her words confirmed what I already figured: she wasn't a virgin and as much as I hated it, someone else had already had sex with her before I would.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry," she rushed through her words, placing a hand on my thigh. "I just assumed you'd already... I'm sorry."

"It's okay!" I tried to recover the mood, placing a band awkwardly on her waist. "I've never done it b-but, I want to..." I trailed off, terrified to look her in the eyes. When I finally managed to glance up I knew none of my anxieties really mattered. (Y/n) was here, next to me and not someone else. She was mine and I was hers and that's what everything boiled down to. I pulled her into my lap as I roughly crashed my lips against hers in an awkward movement, eliciting an equally as awkward laugh from her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, smiling into the kiss as she pressed her body against mine. I was desperate to get her to the bedroom, every nerve of mine aching for her as our kisses became desperate and messy.

I hoisted her up and carried her to the bedroom as she wrapped her legs around my waist, our bodies too close for me not to get excited. I dropped her onto the bed (movies make look carrying another person a lot easier than it is in reality), crawling over her as she smiled up at me. I lavished her body with kisses, making quick work of her clothes before she was naked beneath me. She pulled off my clothes in the same way, both of us completely vulnerable now. I held my breath as we stared at each other for a long moment; delicious and enticing, her skin exposed for me, the rise and fall of her chest a detail only I had the privilege to take note of. I was reminded of the first time we shared this bed all those months ago, how she was so embarrassed she kicked me out and cried.

"I love you," I said as I let out the breath. It felt cliché and I didn't care because the clichés are exactly as perfect as they seem and I was finally living the love story I didn't know I'd wanted my entire life. (Y/n) was the Missing Piece, the I Didn't Know Until I Found You, the Everything, the One, the Forever. I knew as she repeated the words I'd just spoken into my mouth that she was my beginning and my ending and every second in between and that nothing else could ever possibly be as good.

"I love you," she repeated as she pulled me closer, our lips meeting in a feverish kiss. She wrapped her legs around me and my hips gently rocked into hers. I was desperate to get on with it, to live the fantasy I imagined before I went to bed at night and she wasn't beside me. She wiggled out from under me, crossing the room to her dresser and pulling out a foil wrapper from the drawer. She walked back to me, laying me down onto a pillow and crawling on top of me. She tore open the packet, plucking the condom out and reaching for my member.

"I can do it!" I stammered, trying to grab it from her. She held it away from me, an embarrassed smirk on her lips.

"I want to," she mumbled. Both of us blushed; I tried to look away but I couldn't help staring as she rolled the condom over me, the feeling strange and uncomfortable. I'd seen her pop the tiny birth control pill in her mouth every night but I was secretly relieved that she got the condom, my nerves getting the best of me as every fear filled my head.

"Okay," she breathed, laying on her back next me. I crawled on top of her, gently fingering her as I worked up the courage to have actual, real sex. I knew she was ready and her quiet sighs told me to get on with it. I pulled my hand away, smirking as I licked one of my fingers.

"Oh my god!" she groaned, covering her face with her hands.

"What?" I chuckled, sucking on my other finger. She squirmed beneath me, her cheeks bright red.

"You naughty boy," she laughed, still mortified. I couldn't help but laugh along, some of the nervousness dissipating. She pulled me down to kiss her, both of us giggling as our hands glided over each other's skin. I finally positioned myself in front of her after a few moments, slowly pushing in. A low moan slipped out as I thrusted forward, the feeling unlike anything else. She clutched onto me, her legs tight around my waist as I slowly repeated the motion, in and out, in and out. I willed myself not to finish in less than thirty seconds, my movements painfully slow. She let out little gasps every time I thrust in, her head tucked into my shoulder.

"Koushi, you're killing me," she groaned, looking up at me with desperation. "Just relax and go please,"

I apologized, pulling out and taking a deep breath before pushing back inside of her. Our bodies picked up a quick, awkward sort of rhythm after a couple of moments. I tried to record the sound of her quiet moans in my head for later, every whimper and whine driving me closer and closer. I could hardly stay quiet myself, my breaths becoming more whiney and desperate with every thrust.

"Fuck, Koushi," she gasped, her nails digging into my back as I went deeper. I was going to come any second, the pit of my stomach in a knot as my movements became even more awkward, becoming unwound.

"(Y/n)," I groaned, falling onto my elbows as I finished. I reached down and rubbed at her clit; she moaned loudly, trying to push my hands away. I pinned them above her head, rubbing at her as I rode out the last waves of my orgasm. She let out a long whine as she came too, squirming beneath me as I slowly pulled out.

We laid next to each other silently, our breath the only sound. Sex wasn't fireworks and confetti like I'd imagined; it was awkward and nerve-wracking and sort of lackluster. I couldn't understand why the First Time was so glorified as this beautifully life-altering moment when in reality I was tired as well as disinterested in doing it again. I knew that it would get better but all I could do was slump my arm around (y/n), happy that her back was facing me so I wouldn't have to make any eye contact.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice genuine.

"I love you, too," I sighed, nuzzling into her hair. I felt so self conscious and shy, anxious to sleep away everything. I wished we'd spent our last night together before she left just watching TV or something else but I drifted off to sleep before my thoughts could eat me alive, her soft, slow breaths the last sound I heard.