The warmth of his lips against mine sparked electricity that started just in the apples of my cheeks but quickly spread to the rest of my body within seconds.

At first, my mind couldn't comprehend what exactly was happening. Koushi had momentarily tried to pull away, probably due to the fact that I was standing, starstruck, not kissing back.

Not wanting to waste the moment, I quickly snapped out of my trance and I gently pulled the man back in. I allowed my hands to aimlessly spread around the different maps of Koushi's exposed skin until they found a spot, comfortably resting at the nape of his neck.

At first, I took it upon myself to keep the kiss chase, since I knew Koushi probably didn't mean anything by it. But, as time went on, I couldn't help but feel myself slipping into the moment, leaning into his touch and hungrily moving my lips on his.

We kissed and kissed. I was savoring every moment of it. I could feel my lungs starting to tighten from lack of air but I didn't give the thought of breaking away the time of day. Slowly and lightly, I walked forward and pushed Koushi lightly so that his back was pressed against the wall. My hands slipped down from his neck to his shoulders, then down his chest and sides before finally resting on his hips. Subconsciously, I pulled his body towards mine in a desperate attempt to close the small amount of space that occupied causing him to cross his arms securely behind my head and let out a small gasp, momentarily breaking the kiss.

Koushi turned his face away from me, an embarrassed sheet of red spreading across his face. I stared at his lips as they frantically gasped for the air that his lungs had been denied for the entirety of the kiss. I couldn't help but let a dorky smile spread across my face, stretching from ear to ear.

Koushi mumbled some incoherent words, my ears were practically buzzing to the song of voice even though I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. He stuttered and stammered before letting out a strangled laugh and lightly turning his head, resting it on my shoulder. For a while, we just stood there like that. Neither of us dared to break the silence. Even though I knew that the position we were standing in was probably uncomfortable for Koushi, I didn't dare loosen my grip in fear that he would disappear into thin air if I did.

It all felt like a dream. For a second, I was convinced that it just might really be one until Koushi loosened his arms around my neck and pressed his face into the surface of my shirt and mumbled two words into the fabric.

"I'm sorry,"

The vibration from the words vibrated against my skin. For a second, I thought about letting him go and ending it all. I thought about calmly telling him it was ok and that he could go home if he wanted. But when he raised his face to look at me, for the first time since this all happened, I realized that I couldn't. I do myself the disservice of beating around the bush for any longer.

Although there were a lot of things that I wanted to say and confess, I decided to keep it short.

"Please don't say that."

Koushi's face twisted into confusion.

His eyes met mine, and usually, I would have looked away but I couldn't.

"Daichi, I really am. I know I crossed the line bu-"

Before he had the chance to finish and I had the chance to stop myself, my lips were on his again. Koushi, much to my surprise, kissed back instantly. His grip tightening up again around my neck, his fingers gingerly tangling themselves in my hair. Somehow this kiss was different from the other. It seemed as both of us had come to a similar realization and let go of the precautions we were carrying up until now. I would maybe even dared to say that Koushi seemed to enjoy it, maybe even wanted it just as much as I did.

The two of us sank into each other, letting the dance of our lips to speak the words that had gone unspoken for so long. But before long, the strain in my lungs had become too strong causing me to have to break away.

Koushi dropped back onto the balls of his feet since he had been standing on his tippy toes for the majority of the kiss, and I leaned over and rested my forehead onto his.

"Can I explain?" I questioned feebly, referring to my episode I had just thirty minutes prior without calling it by name.

Koushi tilted his head back slightly, attempting to get a better look at my face. He took his bottom lip in between his teeth and shortly glanced around the corridor thoughtful before nodding.

I took one final look at the man's now swollen lips one more time, desperately trying not to let myself slip in the temptation of kissing him again before dropping my hands off his body and stepping back. My body shuttered as his arms slipped from around my neck and his hands slowly ran down the surface of my chest before finally falling back to his side. I took another step back and watched as his back fell lightly onto the wall before turning away from him.

Slowly I made my way towards the stairs. My mind was trying to piece the story together in preparation for the moment where I would finally have to relive it. For years I've tried to put it all behind me. The wound had finally scabbed over and healed but now I was voluntarily reopening it and spilling my heart out.

Every step I climbed just heightened the anxieties that were pulling at my heart. I did everything that I could to push them aside but it wasn't until we reached the top of the stairs and were facing the exterior of my door that they were finally muted.

My hand hovered over the doorknob and the hard drumming of my heart mellowed to a steady beat.

I was ready.

It was time for me to finally come to terms with it all instead of pushing it all to the side and forgetting about it.

Steadily, I made my way to the bed. I slowly sat down on it, looking down at the floor between my legs and then at Koushi.

He was standing in the frame of the door, watching me with intent eyes. Lightly, I patted the empty space on the bed next to me, wordlessly beckoning for him to sit next to me. He complied and paced his way over to the bed and fell back onto the surface of it.

The bed dipped as he sat and for a while, we sat in a short silence.

I let out a short sigh before opening my mouth to speak.

"Kiyoko and I met in high school," I started, not daring to look up at Koushi.

"We started out as friends and then from there, things just took off. She and I did remotely everything together. All of my high school years were basically devoted to her. We were so in love it was almost sickening."

My hands became entangled with each other and I let out another short sigh at the memories.

"So naturally, as soon as we got out of high school, I got up the courage to propose. For months I worked my ass off to save up the money to get that ring, but that's beside the point. So she said yes and a couple of months later we got married. Thinking about it now, it was all so stupid but I was young and I didn't know any better."

I chuckled quietly at my own stupidity.

"But, somehow against all odds, everything was seemingly perfect. Or at least I thought so. We never really fought or even bantered so I thought things were going well. But, it wasn't until Tobio was born that things changed. She'd spend more and more time out with her friends and that led to us finally having our first fight. Which led to constant fighting. One time it got to the point that she packed a suitcase and told me she was going to her parents for a while, which wasn't true but I, of course, didn't know. For a while, I thought that she might have had postpartum depression. I would spend hours researching trying to find out some way that I could help. About a week or so after she had left, she finally came back but she was like a whole different person. At first, I tried to reason with her and understand but nothing was working."

Slowly, I leaned over and rested my elbow on my knees resting my forehead on my hands. Koushi gingerly placed his hand on my back and lightly rubbed it comfortingly.

"I begged her to tell me what was wrong. I told her that whatever it was, we could work through it. At first, she ignored it all but it wasn't long before she snapped. She told me that she couldn't do it anymore, that she couldn't be with me anymore. At first, I blamed myself. I hated myself for not doing something sooner but right before she left she explained it to me. She explained that it wasn't me. It wasn't me and it wasn't Tobio. She couldn't love me anymore because she was a lesbian and she was in love with someone else."

Koushi's hand stopped, "Daichi, you don't have to,"

I shook my head.

"Her name was Yachi, she told me. She apologized about a hundred times but they were just empty words. In about a couple of weeks, every trace of Kiyoko was gone. All her thing, all traces of her gone. At first, it was hard but Tobio made things easier. He was too young to understand what was going on. After a while, Kiyoko and I cut all our ties. The only time I ever saw her was in court. She didn't even bring the divorce papers to me in person, she just mailed them to me. She never even came to visit Tobio."

I picked up my head from my hands and Koushi's hand slipped from my back solemnly.

"That was it. All those years, wasted. Empty memories. I swore to myself that I would never be involved with a person in that way ever again, I would never love another person ever again."

"Daichi, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"It's fine, you didn't do it. You weren't there." I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were peering back into mine.

"But maybe if you were, this could have all been avoided."

Koushi's face twisted into confusion but he didn't say anything.

"Koushi," I paused, trying to build up the confidence to let the words move past my lips.

"I think I'm in love with you."