I felt his small warm hands run frantically against my forearm.

"Daichi, please stop!" The smaller man yelped, his fingernails lightly digging into my skin nowhere near hard enough to leave any traces of marks.

Before I could process what was happening, the hand-mixer I was attempting to use began to fling chunks of food in every direction imaginable.

I let out a string of inhuman sounding noises and out of panic, I flung the hand-mixer around in a desperate attempt to get it to turn off which unfortunately caused more food to fly. Mr.Sugawara's --Koushi's, as he told me requested I called him-- hands flew out and snatched the mixer from me, hastily pulling the plug out from the wall. A sigh of relief slipped past his lips as he looked up at me. Awkwardly enough, I was already staring at him.

In complete awe.

With my mouth gaping.

I suddenly realized what an absolute fool I had just made of myself. I'd covered him, almost completely, in tomato paste. I glanced at the splotches of red gunk that were hanging from the strands of his smooth grey hair before I buried my face into my hands.

"I'm so sorry. If you want to leave, I understand. You can use my shower before, of course." I mumbled into my hands.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like an eternity to me.

Finally, I heard Koushi begin to walk away.

Embarrassment and regret instantly fell over me. Why do I have to be so incompetent and worthless?

I leaned over on the kitchen counter, resting my forehead against the surface. Static filled my ears and my body went numb as the realization that I had absolutely ruined any chances to exploit m current situation in hoped id have a chance with Koushi because I was too incompetent to even have control over a basic kitchen appliance.

In the midst of my mental grieving, I felt something run across my head, neck, and back.

Assuming that I had heard Koushi walk away, probably out the front door, I realized that the person who was attempting to comfort (or clean me) was Tobio. It would make sense because from all the sound that we had made he probably come to see what all the commotion was about.

"Tobio, go watch T.V. or something. Daddy needs some time alone right now."

Tobio continued to rub my back.

Letting out a sigh and straightening myself out, lifting my head up from the counter.

When I turned to face who I thought was my son, I was met with a tumbleweed of grey hair that was infested with red everywhere and big beautiful brown eyes. The realization hit me like a truck and words began flying out of my mouth before I even had a chance to process what I was really trying to say. I was nothing more than a blubbering mess and Koushi stood in front of me, in a fit of laughter.

"Does Daddy still need some alone time?" Koushi asked playfully, obviously mocking me for confusing him for my son. His words alone sent me into another state of shock but for an obvious different reason than before. I almost had half the mind to think he knew exactly what he was doing by saying that. If things were different like if Koushi wasn't my kid's daycare teacher, for example, I would have almost gone as far as to call the exchange flirting.

Realizing that I probably was acting like a creepy idiot just standing and staring, so I attempted to explain.

" I thought you left...", my words soft and wavering with the overwhelming embarrassment lodged in my throat to blame for their weak execution.

Koushi's face twisted in a dumbfounded look as he looked up at me, tilting his head slightly to the side as if he were a confused puppy after being asked if he wanted to go for a walk. My eyes moved from his eyes and down to his body in an attempt to try and read his body language as I waited for him to reply. Immediately, as my eyes worked their way down,I noticed the towel that I had felt wiping me down was hanging loosely from Koushi's arm.

My eyes followed his hands as he carefully reached his hand up and brought it to my hair, lightly picking chunks of tomato from it.

Finally, "I think you forgot, I work with children. I'm more than used to mess." the pale man explained, quickly flashing me a heartwarming, earth-shattering, smile.

At this point, I was almost convinced that maybe Koushi was actually flirting with me, not just me overcompensating my optimism that was in the back of my mind that one day I would have a chance with him.

Something about the way he touched me felt so intimate. Even though it was light and fast, it still sent shockwaves down my spine. The shock just almost triggered my muscle memory and reacted how I would have had I been touched like that by someone I was in a relationship with. The temptation was hard to resist because it was the first time in a couple of years that I had felt the urge to kiss someone. Or call someone pet names. Or craved affection from someone other than my own child.

The unfamiliar feeling was almost painful, wanting something so bad that I knew I could never have. My irrational thoughts forced an unwanted deep blush to creep its way across my cheeks.

"Well... I still do need to take a shower. So would you possibly mind if I went before you? Then while you take yours I'll clean this mess up, yeah?" Koushi said. As he spoke, he ran his hands over my face in an attempt to get some of the mass of remaining food particles off, obviously not being able to get it all but just enough to function. I fought the urge to step back from his touch from the rear that he'd be able to feel the heat that was radiating from my face on the palm of his hand, but didn't as I knew it would come off as suspicious or rude.

I tried to hold back saying the classic 'we could just save water' line no matter how bad I would love to be able to shower with Koushi. I was no longer a horny college student which is probably the only category of people who actually use that line. Instead, now having a reason to flee from the man's touch, I took a step back causing his hands to slip off my body and back to his sides and began to lead him to the bathroom, saving myself the risk of opening my mouth and saying something that I probably shouldn't.

Koushi, understanding that I was wordlessly leading him to the bathroom, followed behind me as I led him.

After a while of weaving through hallways and climbing stairs, I looked over my shoulder at him I said, " While you get undressed in the bathroom I'll bring you some of my clothes that you can borrow while I wash yours for the time being". To which the boy behind me just sounded in agreement.

Finally, after climbing all the way up the stairs and walked down the hallway, we had finally reached my bedroom. Swiftly, I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a towel from one of my drawers and handed it to the boy. It was obvious that his eyes were wandering like he was searching for something, or taking in new surroundings. He looked incredibly timid and it was driving me wild, making desires from earlier unwillingly resurface.

Knowing fully well how strange and uncomfortable it probably is to be in the bedroom of someone that you met not too long ago, I quickly tried to get the situation moving. Quickly, not even attempting to make eye contact, I motioned to the bathroom door.

Realizing that it was probably just as awkward that I was just wordlessly commanding him around I sheepishly said, "The bathroom is just through that door."

As he went in I followed after him. I made sure to show him how the shower worked because god knows how complicated it is when you try to maneuver someone else's shower. I then told him that I would be back in a second with some fresh clothes, closing the bathroom door behind me as I walked back into my room.

I did everything I could to find the perfect shirt to get Koushi to wear. This was my probably one and only chance to be able to simulate what being in a relationship with Koushi could be, that is if he had even a chance of taking interest in me. Sharing clothes and cooking dinner together. I basically ripped through half my closet before I finally found it.

My old Volleyball team hoodie, it had my name on the back and everything, and a pair of sweatpants that were incredibly too small for me but probably just right for the smaller man.

I was so ecstatic about the outfit that I practically pranced back to the bathroom door, knowing that Koushi couldn't see, and lightly knocked on it.

But when the door opened, I nearly passed out at the sight of Koushi with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist with one hand securing it and the other holding his dirty clothes.

Without thinking I ripped his clothes from his hand and shoved mine into their place rapidly slamming the door as soon as the transaction was done.

Koushi barely had a chance to get the words "Thank you" out before I was already flying out of my room and down the stairs.

I was burning.

My world was burning.