I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and slammed the knife that occupied my other hand on the messy kitchen countertop. Tears of frustration almost fell from my eyes, my wrists throbbing from the hours of my countless attempts at cooking.

Looking at all the failed attempts materialized as inedible scraps of what once used to be food, I had almost tried to let myself believe I was only doing so poorly because of the pain of my wrists. Almost had half the mind to try and use the excuse of claiming the pain started from the hours spent typing and writing at my desk from work.

But I didn't even allow myself to further entertain my one-man pity parade, knowing fully well that it was better to just admit the inevitable then to live off a lie.

Nevertheless, even with the self-rewarding feeling of allowing myself to accept the truth, my pride was still hurt. I almost felt embarrassed; why was it so hard to make a simple boxed lunch.

Momentarily, I squeezed my eyes shut in hopes that the lack of a visual reminder of my shame would halt my embarrassment. when I opened them again, I quickly glanced at the clock on my laptop, 12:33 A.M. it read. I let out a huge sigh as I closed out of my countless "How to pack your kids lunchbox" tutorials and roughly pushed the laptop shut before tucking it under my arm. I was so exhausted that cleaning up my mess wasn't even a priority.

Pushing cleaning to the back of my mind, I almost let myself skip up the stairs until I remembered that Tobio had fallen asleep hours earlier on the couch while he was watching Voltron on Netflix in the living room.

Slowly and quietly, I tiptoed over the small sleeping boy where he was sprawled out on the couch and gently scooped him into my arms, leaving my laptop in the space that remained.

I carefully began walking towards the stairs, I couldn't help but look down at the raven-haired boy that I cradled in my arms.

I couldn't comprehend how someone so small could take up such a large portion, maybe even all, of my heart. I couldn't comprehend that, for him, I would risk everything. I would give him the moon, the sun, the stars, the trees if he so much as asked for it.

It was at this point that I had waddled up the stairs and was making my way towards Tobio's volleyball themed room.

The room was lined with posters of a variety of different volleyball teams and even pictures of me when I was a high school volleyball captain. On the floor were scatters of crayons and different portraits Tobio had drawn out of blank printer paper of himself and Shoyou, and Shoyou and Me and him, and even some of her.

I inwardly winced at the mere thought but quickly put it to the back of my mind, gently bending over to lay him in his bed.

God, I needed to sleep this day off.

I leaned over Tobio's bed, getting ready to tuck him in until I noticed his eyes slowly peeled open.

"Dad, can I sleep with you?" His voice was so quiet I almost didn't catch it.

My heart swelled. The sun, the stars, the moon, the trees, I wanted to give it all to him. Forget asking, he deserved it.

In fear of swooning to him out loud and boosting his already massive ego, I just nodded quietly. Tobio lazily lifted his arms up, letting me know without words that he had no plans of walking there himself. Chuckling at him, I bent over and gently picked him up. Instantly he clung to my neck while we made our way to my room, holding on to me as if I might vanish if he were to let go for even a second.

That is until my bed came into reach. Then he hopped out of my arms and sprawled out over the mattress, I soon followed his example.

Drifting off to sleep.

*

*

*

"So, you have a crush on Sugawara?" Asahi asked.

His words instantly made me tense and I tore my eyes from my keyboard to look at him.

"Jesus, Asahi, you can just ask that," I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Do you though?"

I let out a heavy sight. Why must we be having this conversation? Knowing full well that it would just be in my best interest to give him an answer instead of holding off, only to get asked constantly for the rest of my life, I give Asahi the satisfaction of an answer.

"I just think he's really, I don't know, beautiful. That's all ''.Looking at him through my eyelashes as I continued "I swear, sometimes I think that man bun of yours is so tight it's cutting off your brain circulation."

Asahi gave me a shit-eating grin. "Well, for the record, I think you should go for it. He's cute, good with kids, looks at you like you're god's gift to the earth. Basically the whole package."

I leaned back in my chair folding my arms behind my head. " Ok, first of all, he does not look at me like-"

The sound of all 'Lemonade' by Beyoncé, my ringtone, interrupted me mid-sentence. The song choice made a vibrant blush of embarrassment spread across my cheeks.

I pulled out my phone and glanced at the name that was spelled out on the screen.

Mr.Sugawara. After he called me the other day, I thought it would be better to save it. For the convenience of course! Nothing else.

"speak of the devil" I mumbled as I answered, trying to hide the small bit of excitement that I knew was inside of me.

Immediately I was met with the soft angelic voice I had fawned over just yesterday, in this very same seat.

"Hey. It's me, Mr.Sugawara. Koushi. Your son's daycare teacher? I know you're at work and all but I had to call you. Please don't be mad, I'm really sorry. He's fine. But I'm sorry, and, oh my god I'm sor-"

"Hey hey hey" I softly interjected. "You don't have to apologize. I'm sure everything's fine, and you're more than welcome to call me anytime." This statement earned a cocky smirk from Asahi which set off the realization of what I was saying.

Quickly, I attempted to save myself from impending embarrassment, "What happened?"

The line went quiet for a moment before I heard the breathy nervousness through the phone, tickling my ear, as he prepared to talk again, "Tobio got sick".

The lunch box I made. " I'll be right there. Thanks for cal-"

Before I had the chance to say goodbye Asahi snatched the phone out of my hand saying things like 'Daichi thinks you're really pretty' and ' he wants to know if you want to date him'.

I instantly snatched the phone back after that glaring at him while I held the phone back to my ear.

"Sorry about that. Asahi's man bun is cutting off his brain circulation. I'll be there soon"

Before even letting Mr.Sugawara reply, I started scolding Asahi. "How old are you? 5? 6? Jesus Christ"

Ignoring Asahi and his smug remarks, I quickly muttered another quick apology into the phone followed by a goodbye to which was returned and marked the end of the phone call.

I slammed my phone down and punched Asahi in the chest. He was huge so of course, it didn't do any kind of damage, he even laughed a little bit.

"You're an ass, do you know that?"

*

*

*

Finally, when I had reached the building I sprinted towards the nurse's office where I saw Sugawara sitting in the waiting area filling out something that looked like paperwork.

He was so deep into the work that he hadn't even noticed my presence until I had stood in front of him and quietly cleared my throat.

The grey-haired man instantly shot up.

"Daichi," the man exclaimed, nearly dropping the clipboard and paperwork. The sound of my name coming from him caused my heart to skip a beat.

"Hello, Mr.Sugawara" I replied softly.

"I don't know what happened! He said his tummy hurt then out of nowhere he just started throwing up" He said. His big brown eyes sparkling as he talked.

"About that... I tried to make him lunch but I'm not a cook whatsoever and now... Here we are I guess."

Sugawara looked down and played with his fingers. " um..." he trailed off and went silent before he continued again " Um well, if you want, I could maybe teach you? So Tobio won't get sick anymore... maybe?"

His face twisted a little, kind of like he said something that he really didn't mean to. " I mean, no. Never mind, that was so unprofessional -- forget I even asked."

But it was already too late, in that instant, I was on cloud nine.