《BREATHE》*five*
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TIME, what is time?
It's just a space, seconds and minutes passing on. But it seems that each passing second can't make me forget you. The trauma just doesn't go away. But I should be over you by now, right? After all, it has been eight years. Everyone is happy now but me.
Seems like every time I close my eyes I see you. Then I see the guns, then the men, and the blood. It's never ending, it's always there. But sometimes I want to be happy. Maybe I'll be happy with you? Should I come see you?
I'm tired of these constant panic attacks. I'm tired of these nightmares. I'm tired of being isolated to myself. When will I find my happiness?
I'm tired of lying and saying I'm okay when I'm not. This depression is killing me, my OCD is killing me, my anxiety is killing, my PTSD is killing. I just want to be with you.
One more hug, one more kiss, to hear I love you one more chance. But I will never get that,will I? People don't understand that when you died a part of me died too.
I love you more than life itself. Until we meet again.
-Your little princess.
§
Indigo put her letter back in the folder. She writes these letters to her parents every day. Letters telling about parts of her she will never show to anyone else, saying what she will never get the chance to say to them.
She put her box of letters back under her bed before uncurling herself from her bed and stretching. It was 2 am in the morning, and she was of course awake. After all it's not like she will get sleep anyway.
Walking to her cabinet she grabbed her candles and her lighter. Lighting each candle she puts it in every corner. Then she lights her sage waving it around the room. She picks up her phone connecting it to her speaker. Grabbing her rug from her closet she lays out all of her painting materials. She pulls out a canvas before laying in on the floor. Sitting down criss cross applesauce style she sets to work.
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Doing any type of art whether it is painting, drawing and graffiti is Indigo's escape from the world. When she is painting she feels complete, like she can breathe straight and properly. No worries whatsoever. When she paints she is showing out her dreams, what she wants, what she wants to be.
Indigo's paintbrush moves with speed in front of the canvas as she sways to Summer Walker's alluring voice singing Deep. She looks like an angel, in her own personal element.The candle's light is reflecting off of her dark skin. She is literally glowing, as she wipes the paint that she accidentally splattered off her face.
Using the same cloth that she put on her face, she touches up on a spot on the canvas. After a few more minutes, the painting that she has been working on for the past few days was finished.
The painting was depicting her and who she believes she is. The woman having no face is showing how Indigo is not yet sure of who she is. But no matter what she will still wear her crown high.
Gently picking the picture up she set it in the corner of her room to dry. As she cleaned up and wiped paint off the floor her door opened. "You're still awake NiNI?", Ameena asked as she poked her head through the door.
"Yea, I'm cleaning up", Indigo replied as she picked her paintbrushes up. Seeing that it was almost four in the morning, Ameena took the paintbrushes saying, "Go to bed, I'll clean up the rest for you".
"Thank you". With that Indigo crawled into her bed and instantly fell asleep. Ameena finished cleaning up as she thought about how far Indigo has come.
Ameena was Mal's younger sister and at the time he was murdered she was only seventeen. Her brother's death hurt her but that didn't stop her from succeeding in life. When her brother passed away she made it her goal to get guardianship of Indigo, seeing that their mother refused to.
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Mal and his mother never had the best relationship, seeing that she didn't agree with his career. It got to the extent where she snitched on him which resulted in him going to jail for a few months. Unfortunately during those two months Indigo turned one and he missed her birthday. After that event Mal no longer communicated with her unless it was about Ameena.
So when Mal and Amethyst passed away, his mother refused to get custody. Because of this Indigo was in foster care for a year. The minute Ameena turned eighteen she fought for custody and eventually gained it. Since then Ameena has been so protective of Indigo as a person.
After all, she is all she has left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a lil short but whatever 😖
Thoughts on......
~Indigo
~Ameena
~Indigo's grandmother
~Indigo painting
Yall doing online or regular school?b
I started today and yall...... I HATE IT HERE.
Chileee imma start updating more
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