I stood in front of the huge building that belonged to Wilson Constructions. The sun bounced off the polished glass walls and windows of the edifice. I walked into the building and the wide reception roamed with formally dressed people.

I would like to say I blended right in with my off-the-shoulder black top and grey bodycon midi skirt. Perhaps the only thing that stood out was the baby carrier in my right hand. Right on entry, a long counter with three front desk receptionists stood out to me. I gravitated towards the lady with a bright smile, in the middle.

"Good afternoon, I'm here to see Nicholas Wilson" I placed my free hand on the counter, then drew it back on second thought.

"Afternoon. Take the elevator to the fifteenth floor" she smiled, pointing to the elevator behind me. "You'll find another receptionist there, she'll direct you"

"Thank you"

Goosebumps covered my forearm as I neared the metal doors of the elevator. It was the first time since Kosiso's birth, that I've come this close to an elevator. I would rather have taken the stairs but it was the 15th floor, I would be exhausted by the time I got to the 5th floor.

The elevator dinged open and a bunch of people exited. I pulled in a deep breath and braced myself as I stepped in with three other people. You can do this. I moved to the back of the elevator and leaned my back against the wall. You're not alone. I breathed in and out and my hold on the carrier handle tightened. Nothing is going to happen, you're fine. Seconds later, Kosiso stirred in the carrier and let out a small whimper.

Two out of the three people in the elevator glanced back at me with odd expressions. I bared a bland smile at them and bent down to lift Kosiso up. I balanced him on my hip, one hand wrapped protectively around his body.

As the elevator stopped on each floor, picking up and dropping off people, I focused my attention on my son. I buried my nose into his soft curly mop of hair and inhaled his wonderful baby scent. The tender feel of his smooth skin against my body numbed out the overpowering fear of being in this metal box. I remained the last person to get off the elevator.

The floor was spacious with three large doors sited at each corner of the room. I walked right past the waiting chairs in the corridor and headed for the middle-aged receptionist at the far end of the room. The woman had on a navy blue office gown that rested well against her tanned skin.

"Good afternoon, I'm here to see Nicholas Wilson," I said as I came to stand in front of her.

She lifted her head up from the computer. "Afternoon, is he expecting you?"

"Uh, no. But he would want to see me" I wasn't quite sure if I should reveal my relationship with him just yet.

She moved her eyes from me to the Kosiso in my arms and dropped them back to her screen. "I'm sorry. You have to make an appointment first"

I pressed forward. "Can you just call and inform him that I'm here. I would do it but I have my hands full" I lifted the carrier in my left hand and glanced at Kosiso in my right.

She pursed her lips and released a sigh as she picked up the desk phone. She pressed a button and held the receiver to her ear. "Hello sir, you have someone here to see you," she dropped the receiver down an inch. "Name?"

"Amanda" I quipped

The creases at the corner of her eyes crinkled as she moved the receiver back to her ear. "It's a Miss Amanda"

She nodded, despite his inability to see her and placed the receiver back into its hold.

"You can go ahead" she said, pointing to the door in the middle.

"Thank you" I mouthed

Nicholas rose from behind his large mahogany desk, the moment I walked through the door. He crossed the distance from his desk and stopped right in front of us.

"Hey buddy," He smiled down at Kosiso and poked at his cheeks before lifting his eyes to mine. "Hi, I didn't know you were coming." His eyes narrowed with curiosity. "Did something happen?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing"

He picked Kosiso out of my hands and held him to his chest. He placed a small kiss on the baby's cheeks causing him to squeal in delight. "What's up?' he dropped his gaze back to me.

When I had made the decision to come to his office, I rehearsed the conversation we would have in my head. The words I would've said and how they would be said. But now that I was standing right in front of him, under the dazzling stare of his eyes and sharing the same Nicholas-scented air, everything flew out of my head.

I cleared my palm and rubbed my sweaty palm against my skirt. I walked over to his desk and placed my bag and the carrier on top of it. I walked back to him, picked Kosiso out of his hand and placed him back into the carrier. I turned around to cross the distance back but he had done the honours.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and cocked an eyebrow up. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

I nodded as I smacked my glossed lips together and clasped my hands in front of me. "Uhm, I actually planned out everything I was going to say but uh..." I released a halfhearted chuckle then cleared my throat. "I'm just going to skip that and ask," I swallowed and risked staring into his eyes. "Do you still love me? I mean, do you still . . . want to be with me?"

"Yes," He said, not one second of hesitation.

I'm off to a good start. I nodded and blew out a mouthful of air. "I know I said we couldn't be together, after what happened . . . and I've realized that despite everything, I still want you, more than anything else"

I lowered my eyes to my fiddling fingers. "I'm not excusing what you did and I know you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Even I make mistakes," I paused and caught my breath. "I guess what I'm saying is we could start over and take things slow"

"Okay," he nodded, holding my gaze with intense eyes.

"Okay," I repeated as if in a trance.

He took calculated steps forward, closing the gap between us. "Would it be considered going too fast, if I asked to kiss you right now?"

I swallowed. "I think so," I dropped my eyes to the arched bow of his rose pink lips. "But we could go slowly tomorrow"

"That would be great" he whispered and slightly dipped his head down.

"Mm-hmm" My eyes flickered from his lips to his eyes as I rose to the tip of my toes.

He leaned closer, taking in a shallow breath before pressing his lips to mine. Our lips began a slow, passionate dance that quick escalated with hunger and need. Our bodies closed up any space between us and he gripped my waist, almost like I would magically disappear. My fingers climbed up his chest and found solace in the base of his hair.

It felt different being pressed up against him without a large ball of flesh between us. We pulled apart, breathing heavily, our foreheads pressed against the other. My eyes remained shut as I hung unto his neck lest puddle to the floor. He nudged my nose with his and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. And another. And another. Till all, I could taste was the apple flavour that lingered on his lips.

He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my neck. "I've missed you"

"Me too," I said, raking my fingers through the base of his hair.

Kosiso's loud scream pulled us apart as he flailed his arms and legs in the air. I rushed to pick him up and held him against my chest. "I'm sorry," I patted his bottom and glanced up at Nicholas.

He had a small smile on his face and his lips glistened in the light. I lifted my hand and dabbed his lip with the pad of my thumb. "Lip gloss" I mumbled.

His brows cocked up as he nodded. "Uhm, since this is your first time being here, do you want to take a look around the place?"

"I guess," I shrugged my shoulder and glanced down at Kosiso. He had his head pressed against my chest and his little fingers grappling at my cleavage. "He needs to feed first,"

Nicholas nodded and pointed to two armchairs behind me, at the corner of the room. I bounced Kosiso against my chest and headed in the pointed direction.

"I'll just finish up what I'm working on. Let me know when you're ready" Nicholas crossed the distance to his desk.

Kosiso didn't hesitate to latch and begin suckling. Whilst he was busy draining his food bank, I feasted my eyes on the surrounding of Nicholas's office. Behind Nicholas's desk was a wide, floor-to-ceiling glass wall that allowed natural light to filter in. I moved my eyes past the light brown concrete walls to the mini bookshelf that lined one of them. I noticed a door located after the bookshelf, you wouldn't see it right away because the door matched the colour of the walls. I imagined being a restroom or something.

The baby released my nipple and glanced at the other side of the room, so I knew he was done, for now. I readjusted my outfit and spent a minute trying to burp him. I lifted my eyes to Nicholas. He was on his feet, shutting the top of his laptop down.

"Maybe, after I show you around, we could get lunch?" he picked up the jacket of his suit from behind his swivel chair and slipped it on. Then he grabbed my bag and the carrier from his desk and crossed the distance to us.

"Sure," I stood to my feet as well, gently rubbing the back of a sleepy Kosiso.

We headed out of the office and Nicholas said a few inaudible words to his receptionist whose name turned out to be Maria before we walked into the elevator.

I took in another deep breath as I walked into the elevator. I pressed my lips into a hardline as I counted down the floors we passed. I felt Nicholas's hand slip into my free hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Instinctively, I drew close to his side as he held onto my hand, throughout the ride.

The elevator stopped on the tenth floor and opened into a bustling room filled with people. The room grew silent and like a magnet, every eye gravitated towards Nicholas.

I felt a bit self-conscious as I felt curious eyes peeking out of their cubicles to get a good look at us. He seemed unfazed by it, probably because he was their boss. After a few minutes, they returned to the factory mode of operation.

He highlighted a few floors in the company to show me because I couldn't see it all in one day. We worked our way down from the intern's floor to the accounting department and even the conference room where general meetings were held.

Then, we headed to a nearby place called Sarah's Pastries. We ordered two croissants, a blueberry muffin for me and two strawberry smoothies before moving to have our seats at an empty table. As I sipped on my strawberry smoothie, I couldn't help but smile up at Nicholas.

Even with my recent revelation, I knew I wouldn't be rushing out to make drastic decisions or live a wild life, trying to make up for lost experiences. But I knew to try and live out my life without fear. To bask in the fulfilling experiences whenever they come to me, while still chasing after my dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

VOTE, COMMENT and SHARE