We had arrived at the apartment five minutes ago and my mother hadn't since spoken a word. My mother stood leaning against my bedroom wall, her eyes reading the invisible writing on the floor. Whilst I sat on the end of my mattress, fidgeting with my fingers. Nicholas remained in the living room to give us the privacy we needed to discuss.

Except for my pounding heart, the room was drop-pin silent. I knew this pregnancy would shock my mother but I half expected her to start yelling at me, the moment we got into my room. Her prolonged silence imposed more fear on me than I thought it would. I had no idea what to say but it felt like I had to be the one to instigate the conversation.

"M-mummy?" I began, shifting in my seat as I raised my eyes to her.

"Heuw!" she exclaimed with a loud clap of her hands and folded her arms across her chest.

Jesus. At the sudden smack of her hands together, I flinched backwards and placed a hand over my chest. I lifted my eyes back to her and she was staring right through me. My heart skipped a beat and I lowered my eyes to my protruding stomach. Please, just say something.

She drew in a long breath and released it sharply then pushed herself off the wall. "You are pregnant, abi?"

I nodded. My head still bowed down, afraid to meet her gaze.

"Chineke mme'm ebele!" she exclaimed as she clapped her hands together in disbelief. (God, have mercy on me)

I managed to raise my eyes to her. She had her fingers locked in prayer form over her bosom as she looked up to the ceiling. She released another sharp breath and returned her gaze to me.

"How many months?"

I swallowed, despite the burning lump in my throat. "S... seven months"

"Jesus Christ! You're seven months gone?" she placed her hands on her knees, bending forward so we were at eye level.

I leaned back and nodded.

"Ah!" her mouth fell open as she stared at me, her eyes wide with shock. "Chimamanda, you mean to tell me that you're seven months pregnant, and you hid it from everybody?"

I bit back my lower lip as a drop of tear fell from my eye. "I'm sorry"

She shook her head at me, disappointment boldly written over her face. "That's bad. I can't believe you," she straightened up and snapped her fingers in utter disbelief and folded her arms across her chest. "Hei, Chimamanda Grace Rowland, so you have the heart to carry a pregnancy up till the seventh month, and not say a word to your family?"

A body-wracking sob escaped my lips and tears fell from my eyes with no resistance. "I'm so... I'm so sorry,"

"If someone had told me, that my daughter would hide a pregnancy from me, I would've insulted that person," she said to herself, then stretched a hand towards me. "I stand corrected today"

I placed a hand over my mouth to muffle the sound of my sobs. I shook my head as I drew in a laboured breath. I was so afraid of disappointing my parents with my pregnancy that at the end of the day, I caused my mother to lose every trust and faith she had in me.

"Okay, what was your plan? Give birth, then tell us? Or were you not even going to tell us, at all? Eh?" she stood erect, hands akimbo.

I dropped the hand over my mouth unto my lap as I shook my head. "I was going to tell everyone, I swear. I was just afraid of disappointing you and daddy," I wiped my cheeks clean for a fresh batch of tears to roll past them. "I'm sor-ry"

"You were afraid?" she repeated to herself. "I don't understand, were we going to beat you over the phone?" she hit the back of her right hand with her left palm. "You didn't want to disappoint us? And do you think by prolonging the reveal, it would become less disappointing?"

I shut my eyes as I drew in a deep breath and wiped my face. My throat hurt from the crying and I could feel a headache creeping in. Instead of relentless sobbing, I reigned it back in and focused on breathing in and out to remain calm.

My mother noticed the change and gave up. She walked over to me and sank into the space beside me. "You're my daughter and I would always support you, no matter what" she put an arm around my shoulder. "I feel betrayed because I thought we were close enough for you to confide in me. Even if you were scared of telling your father, you could've at least told me. The worst I would do is shout, I can't kill you"

I rested my head against her shoulder. I breathed in the rosy scent of her perfume and released a shaky breath. "I'm sorry,"

She sighed and leaned her cheek against my head. "It's okay. It's not the end of the world." She moved her arm from shoulder to my back and rubbed in circular motions. Being in her embrace made me feel like I was a child and her smell felt like home.

"Is it a boy or girl?" she lifted her face off my head and leaned forward to catch a glimpse of my face.

"It's a boy" I raised my head from her shoulder and turned to face her.

She smiled.

I managed a weak smile as I nodded. She pulled me into a hug and rubbed her palm along my back.

She pulled back and looked at me, her hands still holding onto my shoulder. "So, that young man in the living room, is he the father?"

I nodded.

Her eyebrows shot up and her eyes went wide. She mouthed with a teasing curl playing on her lips. "Oyingbo?" (A white/fair-skinned person)

An involuntary weak chuckle escaped me as I narrowed my eyes at her. "What does that mean?"

She lifted her hands in mock surrender. "Did I say anything?" she pushed herself to her feet and started towards the door. "Well, let me go and have a talk with him"

I stood to my feet as well. "I'm coming with you"

She halted in front of the door. "Ah ahn, I just want to ask him a few questions"

"Okay, I'm still coming with you" I trudged up behind her.

She shrugged her shoulders and pulled open the door. Nicholas was at the edge of his seat, his legs widespread and his fingers locked in front of him. He rose to his feet upon our reentry into the living room. My mother crossed the room till she was a few feet away from Nicholas, and I trailed up behind her. He looked between the both of us and I raised an inconspicuous thumbs up.

"Hello, young man. What is your name?" my mother said, her face void of emotions.

"Nicholas, ma'am," he said with a subtle head bow.

"Nicholas" she nodded as she repeated to herself. "So, I'm told you're the father of the baby?"

He nodded. "Yes, I am"

My mother mirrored his action and folded her arm across her chest. "And what are your plans towards my daughter?"

"Mummy, no –" I piped up beside her and shook my head at Nicholas, as a sign to let me handle it. "We're co-parenting" I had learnt my lesson, so she was going to get the real truth.

The side of her face scrunched up in confusion. "Isi gini?" (Say, what?)

I blew out a small puff of air and shifted my weight over to one side. "We're not a couple," I waved a finger in the space between Nicholas and me. "We're not together. I'll explain the details later, but you don't have to drill him"

"Okotoligba!" She exclaimed as her chin dropped in confusion.

I bit my lower lip and lowered my eyes to the floor. I didn't miss the grim line of Nicholas's lips, it was almost like he was . . . displeased?

My mother picked up her jaw and looked between Nick and me. She let out a deep sigh."Okay," She faced Nicholas. "It was nice meeting you. Thank you for accompanying my daughter to pick me up from the airport"

"It's nothing" he waved a hand in front of him.

"It was a long flight, so I'll leave the two of you" she placed a hand on my shoulder and then returned to my room.

Nicholas spoke up as soon as my bedroom clicked shut. "I thought we were going to keep that piece of information to ourselves"

"Yeah, I changed my mind. Keeping secrets has already put me into enough trouble, I'm tired of it" I said, massaging my temple with the pad of my fingers.

He nodded and closed the gap between us. He lifted my chin, cradled my head in his hands and wiped the skin just below my eyes with the pad of his thumb. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I will be," I whispered and leaned my head against his chest. Everything would be fine, eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat on the dining table, my elbow perched up against the table and my hand supporting the side of my head. My phone was in front of me, on a three-way WhatsApp voice call with my two elder brothers. I had placed the phone call on speaker and sat by as they ranted on about my sudden pregnancy.

My mother broke the news to my father, who in turn told the rest of his children. I couldn't even begin to imagine the conversations they would be having off the phone. After the news had spread like wide fire, my brothers wouldn't stop calling me. My father, on the other hand, wasn't particularly keen on talking to me at the moment and my mom kept saying he'd come around.

"I still can't believe this," Ifeanyi muttered out

"Yeah, what exactly is happening over there? Mummy keeps evading the questions I'm asking her" Olisa, my eldest brother piped in.

I kissed my teeth. "What questions?"

"Like, when would you get married? What plans are being made?" Olisa said

"Why does it sound like you're angry? We're only looking out for you," Ifeanyi added.

I dropped my hand down, picked up the phone and held it up to my mouth. "Thank you very much for that but it's enough. Look I'm tired of these whole questions and the whole reprimanding thing. The both of you have been calling my phone non-stop today," I tugged on the neckline of my gown as if they could see it. "I haven't even changed out of my work clothes since I got back, because you guys wouldn't let me breathe"

"Amanda, we are only asking these questions because we want to make sure that the right things are being done" Ifeanyi spoke up

"Everybody wants to make sure the right things are being done. Once daddy decides to talk to me, he will also call with the same questions. Can't you guys just give me a break? I make one bad decision, just one, and I've suddenly become a child that needs 24/7 guidance and direction," I said

My mother popped out of the kitchen with a stainless steel cooking spoon in her hand. She mouthed 'calm down' and rubbed her clean hand over her chest before returning to the kitchen.

After I had narrated the true ordeal of how this pregnancy came to be, my mother became more sympathetic towards me. She even said that in a twisted way, it may be God's will and who knew, something good might come out of it - other than my son, that is.

I exhaled deeply and lowered my tone. "I know you guys just want to look out for me as big brothers and I'm grateful. But, my main focus is to have the baby first, before anything else. Okay?"

"Fine. We are sorry if we overwhelmed you" Ifeanyi said

"Yeah, but at least make arrangements for mummy to meet his family," Olisa added. "We want to know the kind of people you're going to be associating with"

"We know that. It's already being arranged, don't worry" I placed the phone down on the table and leaned back against the chair.

"Okay then. We'll talk to you later" Olisa concluded and Ifeanyi echoed. "Bye"

"Bye," I said, just before the calls ended.

My pregnancy being a hot issue in the family had me exhausted. I knew that it came as a shock to them and there were some concerns but I needed them to move on. I had never done anything to disappoint my family and the one time I did, I'm criticized from every corner.

From the moment I voiced out my desire to become a doctor, I was worked the hardest by my parents – most especially my dad. As a dentist, my father would always drum into my ears that medical school was tough. I had to be the best. I had to strive higher. I had to be studious and principled. I couldn't risk any kind of distractions. Over time, I became the perfect child and to be honest, I loved the praises that came with it.

I heard the jingle of Whitney's key in the front door before she pushed it open. She closed the door behind her and practically ran to the kitchen, squealing like a toddler. "Mummy!"

I rolled my eyes as their excited voices filled the apartment. I'd informed her late last night about my mom's surprise visit. After I'd summarized the events that proceeded, she started going on about how she would get fat on my mom's food.

She walked out of the kitchen, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Ah, she's making jollof rice" she stuck out the tip of her tongue between her teeth and did a shoulder dance. She moved toward me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Awn, you're eyes are puffy. Go and rest, if you're tired"

I gave her a side-eyed glance as I pursed my lips. "You're just seeing me now, abi?"

She tapped underneath my jaw as she cocked both brows. "Don't be jealous. Mummy always comes first"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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