"No, no. Stop it. Please" I am woken up to whimpering.

"Make it stop. It hurts" Leah shakes in my arms, tears streaming down her face.

"Leah, hey. Its okay, its me" I hug her, trying to wake her up.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault" She whispers, her voice cracking.

"Hey, wake up. Please" I say as her eyes shoot open.

"M-Mason" She sobs into my chest.

"Leah, shh. It's okay, I got you" I run my hand up and down her back, trying to stop the sobs.

"I-I'm sorry" She chokes out.

"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything is okay. You're safe now" I coo.

"But" She starts to say.

"But what?" I continue to rub her back.

"I-I can't" She starts to sob again.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me" I let her cry on me. Why won't she tell me something?

"You can go back to bed now. I'm going to get some water" She says after a few minutes, wiping her eyes.

"No, lay down. I'll get the water" I jog down the stairs and into the kitchen, afraid of what she'll do if alone.

When I walk into the room I see her staring at her phone.

"I never went for the tattoo" She turns to look at me. Her eyes puffy.

"I'm sorry?" I ask, not sure what she means.

"On my birthday, I wanted to go for a tattoo. It-It slipped my mind" She hiccups.

"Oh, we can go tomorrow if you would like. What tattoo do you want?" I sit behind her, her body in between my legs. I let her silk hair run through my fingers in a comforting and soothing way.

"Not tomorrow, can we go soon though? It's an important date for me" She says.

"Okay, I'll take you" I continue brushing her hair with my fingers.

"Thank you" She mumbles.

"Now go to sleep. You need to rest" I say, she lays down.

"Okay" She says, closing her eyes.

I hope she gets some sleep.

Today's the day. It's the anniversary.

Nightmares on this night are unavoidable.

I woke Mason up, I feel terrible. I know I'm not going to be able to fall back asleep peacefully. My best option is to pretend to.

5 hours pass and it's finally the morning.

I get up, carefully out of Masons arms, a frown on his face.

I change into a grey oversized sweater, some blue jean shorts and put some grey sneakers on. I throw my messy hair into a bun and do my makeup quickly. Not caring about how it looks. It doesn't matter if I look dead, I deserve to be.

I just need to get through today and then I can go home.

"Hey, Leah. Are you okay?" Tara asks as I pour myself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I give her a fake smile, giving Bella her food.

"You're up really early" She changes the topic.

"Um, yeah. I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep" I take a sip of the coffee.

"Aw, I'm sorry" She frowns.

"Its okay" I answer, checking my phone for the time.

"I have to go to work but if you need anything, I'm here. Okay?" She hugs me.

"Yeah, thank you so much Tara" I hug her back.

'Keep your head up Le. I know it's a hard day. You're stronger than you think. Much love from me and our family. I'll see you soon-Gracie'

The text brings a smile to my face. I'm lucky to still have her and her family after everything.

Mason should be up soon.

I walk over to the couch, sitting down with Bella.

"Leah? What are you doing up? It's so early" Mason rubs his eyes, walking towards me.

He looks so cute, trying to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry" I hold back the tears.

"No, of course not" He hugs me.

I melt into the hug, wanting nothing more than to tell him of everything I'm feeling right now. Tell him what today marks, the reason I have no family. The reason my life at home was such a mess. The reason I was so crushed that Luke went away. I want to tell him it all but I can't.

Not yet.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Um, yeah" I hesitantly answer.

He notices the hesitation and pulls me into another hug, resting his chin on my head.

My lip quivers, making it harder to control my emotions.

You're stronger than this Le. You can get through today.

"I want to take you out tonight" Mason mumbles, smoothing my hair.

"I'm sorry Mason. I can't do it tonight. I-I have somewhere to be" I sigh.

"Where are you going?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"I-um" I try and think of what to tell him.

"Leah?" He asks. "Are you. Are you cheating on me?" He stutters out, my heart drops.

"No, no no. Mason, I promise I would never. I want to tell you. I really want to tell you why I didn't sleep last night and why I look like this today. But I'm not ready. I'm so sorry" I sob, almost falling to the floor.

"Shh, it's okay Le. You don't have to tell me. You tell me when you're ready. I'm sorry hun. I love you" He catches me.

"Let's take today off. You can still go wherever you have to be later. I don't think being with our friends is the best idea right now" He whispers.

I nod, not being able to talk.

"Okay, lets go in my room" He picks me up, grabbing a water bottle.

I try to slow my breathing, not getting anywhere.

"Deep breaths. It's okay, you're okay" He rocks me back and forth.

"It's her anniversary" I blurt out.

"What?" Mason responds, confused.

"I-I had a sister" I choke out, all the memories flooding back.

"You had a sister? What happened? I thought she moved away" He asks, placing me on his bed.

"We were a happy family, as you know. I was the oldest, my younger sister, Katherine was two years younger than me" I choke on my sobs.

Mason hugs me, brushing his fingers through my hair.

"I-I'm sorry" I sob, shaking.

"It's okay Le" He kisses my head.

I calm down a little and continue my nightmare of a past.

"I was eight, she was six. The four of us were on our way to a barbecue. It was at Luke and Grace's house. My parents were driving, we were all talking, laughing and singing along to the music. A car came out of no where. It killed her instantly" I suck in a breath, the memories hitting me like a tsunami.

"I-I was distracting him. I should have remained buckled in my seat but I wasn't. I just had to get unbuckled and try and change the station" I look down at my lap.

"I killed her Mason" I look up at him, tears in my eyes.

"I-I killed my baby sister. That's why my parents were the way they were. I was the reason they lost their little girl" The tears escape and cascade down my face.

"Shhh, Leah. You didn't. It's not your fault at all baby girl" He pulls me into a hug. I nuzzle my face into his neck, trying to breathe.

"Its been t-ten years today" I hiccup out.

"Its okay. Shhh. You're okay Le. I promise, everything will be okay" He rubs my back.

"I-I miss her" I sob, fisting Masons shirt.

"I know, I know you do" Mason sighs, placing his chin on the top of my head.

"You do know she would be so proud of you, right?" He whispers, his voice breaking a little.

I nod, not being able to talk.

"God you're so strong" Mason whispers to himself as I feel a tear drop onto my head.

"Mason?" I question, looking up at him to see a few tears traveling down his cheeks.

"Why-why are you crying?" I wipe my eyes.

"I'm sorry" He wipes his face, shaking his head.

"Are you okay?" I look at his tear stained shirt. Thank God I didn't put mascara on today, his shirt would be ruined.

He nods, looking away from me.

I sit up so that I'm kneeling, studying his face.

"What's wrong" I pull his face to look at me.

"You-you've been so strong, Leah. I don't know how you do it now, never mind when you had no one" He kisses my forehead.

"I didn't have no one. Luke was like my brother. Our handshake is a promise that we made after she passed. It was a promise that I would never do anything, and if I thought about it, before I did anything I would talk to him. I never did, but almost. It's hard. Today is always the hardest, but this year will be a little easier I think. I have the man I love with me. I finally told my biggest secret to someone. She's not here with me anymore, but I know she's watching over me. I'm okay, just a little broken" I smile through my tears, trying to reassure the both of us.

"I love you Leah. I'm going to do my best to complete you and put you back together" He rubs my arms.

I try my best to slow my tears down to a minimum, letting them slide down my cheeks slowly and silently.

"Can we just stay in today?" I ask, sitting on Masons bed.

"Of course baby. Get comfortable, here" He pulls the comforter down for me to get under them.

I slide under them, leaving room for Mason.

"Do you want to take a nap?" He puts his arm around me, guiding me to put my head on his chest.

"No, I can't" I shiver as his hand find its way under my crewneck to rub my back. The thought itself quickens the pace of my tears.

So far, today is going better than usual.

Mason got me wings for lunch and my favorite ice cream as a snack.

"How are you doing?" He sits behind me, hugging my body to his.

"I'm okay" I whisper, my voice hoarse.

"She was my best friend growing up" I stutter out.

"I bet" He rubs my arm, gently.

"Tell me about her. I remember a little about her, you guys were practically inseparable. You two looked like twins if she wasn't so much shorter you could have passed" He says, carefully. I smile at the memory.

"Yeah, we were. We did everything together. We had such a great bond, always have and always will. I know she's still with me. I have her picture all the time. She would light up any room, everyone smiled when they saw her beaming face. She could never stay mad, always cracking within a few minutes. I still can't believe she's gone" I sigh, reaching for my phone.

I open the photo album I have saved, handing it over to Mason. He glances through, a sad smile on his face.

"Some of them are rough photos but I don't even care. It's really all I have left of her. Those and my charm bracelet. We had matching ones" I instantly grab the sunflower shaped charm, remembering her exact words she muttered, handing it to me.

'You're the sun to my flower, sissy'

It sounds stupid now, but she was three, me being five. I'll never forget it.

"No, they're great. You both were so beautiful. I always wondered why that bracelet was so special, you never seemed to let it out of your sight" He traces shapes on my arms, handing my phone back.

"Yeah, I can't. I don't know what I would do with myself if I had lost it" I laugh, checking the time to see I should be leaving soon.

"I'm going to get going soon, I need to stop by the cemetery and get some flowers" I frown, wishing I didn't even have to worry about visiting my sisters grave at such a young age.

"I'll come with you" Mason suggests. "I can even stay in the car if you want. It could be nice for you to have some support with you" He continues, not wanting it to seem forced.

"That would be really nice, thanks Mas" I stand up, giving him a tired smile.

The drive to the cemetery from the store is short. We got a beautiful flower bouquet, overflowing with bright flowers; representing her bubbly and bright persona.

"You can come with me, I just need some time alone before we leave" I sniffle, taking a deep breath. Mason nods, hopping out of the car and opening the door for me.

He laces our fingers together and I lead the way to her grave, every step causes a weight to be added onto my heart.

"Hi Kait" I croak out, staring down at the words engraved into the headstone.

"I-I miss you so much" I hiccup, Masons hand tightening.

"M-Mason is with me. He helped pick out these flowers. You would love him now as much as you did back then" I smile, placing them down.

"I'm sorry you can't be here to see how beautiful of a person your sister has turned into, but I know you're smiling down at her" Mason's voice is heard, catching me by surprise. I give him a small smile, leaning into his arm.

"I'll let you say whatever, okay? I'll be in the car, I love you Le" He kisses the top of my head, walking back towards the car.

I nod, slowly sitting on the grass, facing the headstone.

"I love him Kait, I love him so so much. I trust him with everything, I just had to tell him. I'm so sorry I did this to you. It's all my fault you're not here and I punch myself for it every dämn day. Fùck I'm so stupid, no wonder why mom and dad hated me" I sob.

"I committed to North Carolina State University for Veterinary Science. I hope you're proud of everything. I know I've made some really bad mistakes but I'm trying to make up for them every day. As for Mason, he's great. He's been so supportive of everything lately. I truly don't think I could do any of it without him and his family. The amount of love and positivity they radiate. He talks about a future together with complete sincerity and I hope and pray everyday for one. I want to grow old with him, I want to be loved until the day I die. I want to have children and be the best parents we can be, spoiling them like crazy. I know I don't deserve it but I can't help but want and hope for it. God, I really don't deserve any of it" I take a deep breath, placing my head in my hands.

"Ten years is a long time to be without your best friend. Theres not a moment that passes, that you don't cross my mind. Every time I see an orange sunset, I know its your way of showing that you're still here. I wish I could see you one more time, even just a happy flashback. I can't do anymore of the nightmares. They're so mentally and physically draining for me, and Mason. I can hardly sleep on my own. It sucks, so much. I want it over, I want all the pain to be gone" I sob, furiously wiping at my cheeks.

"I don't deserve to want that, I should have to pay for what I did. Nothing I can ever experience will be payback enough for the pain and destruction I've caused" I shake my head, my emotions everywhere.

"I-I love you Kait. Please, don't give up on me. I miss you so fücking much" I choke out, completely heartbroken.

I slowly drag myself to the car after kissing my hand and lightly tapping the headstone.

"Leah" Mason whispers as I sit down, going completely limp in the seat.

I can't control the tears flowing from my eyes and horrible choking sound escaping my throat.

"Baby, shhh" He pushes my hair back, pulling me into a hug.

He gently places me in his lap as my sobs get harder and louder.

"Fück, you don't deserve this" Mason whispers, barely audible.

"Yes-I-I-d-do" I choke out, shaking.

Hi my angels. I'm so sorry for the sad chapter. So, the secret is out! There was a lot of raw emotion and time put into this chapter, so please, leave your thoughts and opinions. I love to hear them and look forward to it! Thank you all so so much for reading. I really couldn't thank you enough! Don't forget to vote, comment and share! The faster they get in the faster the update.

Question: Did you expect that? Who did you think the mystery person was?

Answer: I've had this outlined practically since I started this book.

22 votes and 200 comments

Word count: 2899

~Leah