We both rode back to Stanley Hall and as we put the horses in the stable I did not even blush at the stable boy who saw our clearly dismantled appearances.

"Alice..."

"Yes sir?"

"You should know I am going to disengage myself from Cynthia."

"Oh..."

"Do not get married to Henry."

"If I can help it trust me I shall never do so but..." I sighed thinking of the worst wanting to be prepared for all possibilities, "if it comes to that I wish you to know whatever path I must take I will always love you sir."

"Alice..." Mr. Howard helped me from the horse to the floor and I helped myself to another kiss until our lips were inevitably parted.

"Be careful when ending things with Cynthia, she will not take it well sir," I tried to warn him.

"If I could but create a world where you and I could be..."

"Shhh you did my love, this has been the most wonderful of afternoons." I kissed his hand to ease our dreams but I also needed to be convinced by reason to not tell him to take me away from all of this. "Now, neither of us is disengaged yet so let us play the part sir."

"I regret my words already, an afternoon is never enough."

"I will see you for dinner then."

"Yes and after it as well, I intend to spend every moment with you until you must leave Stanley Hall."

He let go and I went dragging my feet before I changed my mind and ran back into his arms wishing nothing more than to run away with him, I wished to saddle the horses once more and say goodbye to everything and everyone towards a place where only the two of us could live happily ever after but that was not wise. Selfish, it would only fulfill my desires of having him all for my own but what life would it be if I could not share that happiness with those who depended on us? I respected the limits of our love, of sanity and kept moving as fast as I could before anyone saw me and started speculating about my clearly flushed appearance.

Upstairs in the room Edna was waiting for me impatiently for having taken longer than discussed inside the bedchamber.

"Milady!" She looked at my wet clothes and the sand ingrained in my hair.

"Sorry I decided to enjoy the wonders of the sea," I explained.

"Of course you did, I wonder why you are turning out to be so rebellious lately? Or rather I know why."

"Can you help me out of this before the lady's maid comes in?" I blushed.

"Yes come here before Mrs. Hall yells at us both," Edna said and we hurried into the bathing tub where I was scrubbed down into my ears to make sure no sand grain remained.

"Milady a letter has come for you, it is from Sir Holloway," Edna said once the lady's maid was out of the room after helping me into a dinner dress.

"Oh that was quick," I wondered and took the sealed letter from Edna's hand.

Edna waited for me to open it, "yes it even came with an errand boy, not the post."

"Strange," I opened it.

Dearest one,

I found out your secret, I know why you could not end it or why you did not want me involved in the matter pertaining to your engagement. But I have procured your mother at last, she was very ill when I collected her at the asylum so I lodged her in your country home with a nurse instead of London which means your engagement to Mr. Henry may come to an end.

Sir Holloway.

"Edna! My mother! Sir Holloway! He did it!" I jumped up from the news though I hoped the ill part did not mean physical illness.

"What did he do? What is it?"

"She is home, in our home, I can end my engagement Edna! I can end it!"

"I do not see how one thing has to do with the other."

"Pack everything, tonight we go home, to my mother, I am a free woman!" I kissed her cheek.

The next move was to tell Mr. Howard I would be disengaging myself soon to be free to be with him since Lady Walker and Mr. Henry had no more threats to hold over my head also to tell him I was to go home take care of my mother.

"Cynthia stop it, I mean it," Mr. Howard said in the library as Cynthia fell at his feet crying.

"Please sir forgive me, I was seduced by him, and I..." She sobbed, what was she talking about.

"And you gave in, but if he seduced you why were you the one in his room last night?" Mr. Howard talked and then last night began to make more sense.

"I received a note to go the room, I did not know it was his room I swear it on my life!" Cynthia argued with him and this explained as to why the sudden departure of Lady Walker and Mr. Henry in the morning, Mr. Howard had deciphered the situation and had put them out.

"Do not swear Cynthia! I will not have you; and I can never understand what you have done! I abhor it; the only reason I did not make you leave last night or exposed you for all to see was in consideration for your mother!"

"Sir I love you, please tell what I can do to get you back, I will do anything, Mr. Henry took advantage of me, please let me earn your forgiveness, he had long been chasing after me and I told him no I told him I love you but he would not stop until he got what he wanted! Please sir you have to believe me! Please!" Cynthia held on to him and Mr. Howard pulled her back by the shoulders.

"If he was after you and you did not want it then why did you not tell anyone? This could have been solved a long time ago but no you were enjoying yourself, making a fool of me, you should be happy really for you are free to chase after him now, I am sure he will be more than eager to take you in now he is dismantling his engagement to Lady Alice."

"He is? But..."

"I told him he had no choice if he didn't want me to tell everyone the truth of his conquests."

"His what?"

"Brielle, you and the other ladies throughout the years he outwitted."

"No, no..."

"You have money, do not despair Cynthia he will take you if he has no other choice, now you may stay until the end of dinner but after that you are to never come near me, I never want to see your face again you understand me?"

"Sir please! No! I need you! Please protect me from Mr. Henry!"

"You should have called out for help before you had clothes all off in his bed yesterday night Cynthia."

As I saw him coming towards the doors of the library I hid away in the curtains so he wouldn't see I knew the real reason behind the breaking of his engagement. Mr. Howard's speech got me thinking then if he knew this information since the previous night why had he kept it from me? Or worse was I his second choice? Had Cynthia never cheated would we find ourselves in this situation? Could it be that I was going to be Mr. Howard's consolation prize?

"Edna I changed my mind, we are going home now," I came back up with the decision feeling like it was best to put some space between Mr. Howard and I.

"Wait what? Why? Dinner is almost ready."

"Yes but I want to be gone this very moment, I need to be with my mother," I began to throw my stuff into the luggage.

"Careful, you'll crease it."

"There is no need; I just want to go at this instant, do not tell anyone, I will leave a note."

"Alright I will get everything in order then," Edna did not understand why my nerves were on my face but I grabbed ink and piece of paper to write a little letter to Mr. Howard.

Mr. Howard,

My apologies for not saying goodbye personally but my mother needed me.

Lady Alice Stewart.

"I am done, are you?" I turned to Edna who shook her head as if it was impossible.

"Yes milady," Edna said and she followed me quickly down to the front entrance.

Soon the bags came down, Edna threw her body into the carriage, Mary waved me goodbye and I thought I saw the slightest glimpse of Cynthia looking at me riding away then out came Mr. Howard from the front door to argue with Mary as to why I was leaving no doubt but it was for the best, I needed space from everything that had happened, I could not distinguish if I should keep wanting Mr. Howard or not.

As the carriage drove away, I sighed in relief to not have to face Mr. Howard yet, I knew myself and I knew my jealousy would push me away if I did not think about what I wanted. After all Cynthia was the one who got him to commit, how deep did his feelings run for her? I had to know for I loved him but I could no longer love him afraid of what could be between us. My love was this ridiculously immense gift I had given him and what would I do if it was counted merely as an ordinary kind of present in his eyes? It would drive me insane, I had to talk about it with him, about my doubts, but at some other moment where we wouldn't turn it into another battle of who's wrong or right and my mother needed me and Sir Holloway needed the best thank you I could conjure up.

"Milady your aunt is here," Mrs. Trudor announced as we got in.

"Oh good," I looked back at Edna who went up with me to see my mother.

"Aunt?" I walked in mother's room to find my aunt Mrs. Green.

"Shhh..." My aunt said as I saw she had put mother to sleep, "now Alice how long has my sister been like this?"

"Well..."

*************************

No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.