Mrs. Hall began by instructing me to give an immediate excuse to Mr. Henry as to why the engagement was not to be announced by any newspaper. After I was to go away for some time without the ring, for people would expect to see me back in London making preparations but if I was not there then rumors of a breakup would surface. This was well timed as I was to go with Edna to see mother which meant I would be away for a week at least. It was also crucial before I left to give back Mr. Henry's ring using the excuse of it being too lose or tight, as to not keep on carrying a family heirloom.

Finally when I was back in London the engagement was to be ended at once without any reason other than mistaken sentiments. I was not to give him any impression of being in love with someone else, for Mrs. Hall said men hated to be replaced. It would only instigate someone like Henry she called him, to fight harder to keep me if he thought I saw him as inferior to another.

"Thank you Mrs. Hall," I kissed her angel hands, "I will owe my future happiness to you."

"Now go play the coy fiancé to Henry, do not touch him, let others see how uncomfortable you are, it is best they speculate and see it coming."

"And you will not tell me of the story between Mr. Howard and Lydia?"

"I cannot betray my master's confidence but I do hope one day you learn the truth in the meantme promise me you will not under any circumstances give in to Mr. Howard, you shall not bend to his stubbornness for his own good."

"His own good?"

"Yes now promise me child."

"I promise you Mrs. Hall."

"Good now follow through what we have spoken on for your sake."

"Yes Mrs. Hall..."

Readily I went to go meet Mr. Henry downstairs at the wedding party and relieved to be making my way out of the tunnel I was stuck in for so long without realizing it. The clouds of confusion had cleared out a bit for I was good at playing the part but with a goal it was the much clearer, Mr. Henry would be let down at last. Putting my emotions for Mr. Howard aside to fix my life was easy to do when it felt like the rope around my neck was no longer there, even Cynthia might rejoice and be my friend once more after hearing I was to remain an old maid.

"Lady Cynthia may we talk?" I knocked on Cynthia's door on my way up to get ready to say goodbye to Stanley Hall.

"Please Lady Alice I believe our affiliation has come to a conclusion now that you have what you need."

"Please let me talk."

"Now you wish to talk?"

"Yes please."

"Why now? Why did you never mention your attachment to Mr. Henry before?"

It had been a horrible shock to Cynthia understandably so, to me it was still as well for unlike Martha who could catch things from the side of her eye Cynthia would not have noticed how close Mr. Henry and I were last dinner at Stanley Hall. Therefore making me a complete farce as her friend in her own right for she had not seen or heard from me since I was away with my mother, if only I had mentioned Mr. Henry earlier before she thought me only a societal leech.

"I came to tell my friend what I should have known to share with her earlier, and the news I have to share with you is that soon I will be disengaged to Mr. Henry."

"But..."

"Mr. Henry was a little too eager in his announcement; I promise you I never mentioned anything because I had not engaged myself to him privately."

"His arm..."

"I know, he is a true friend but nothing more now do you believe me? Do you forgive me for not mentioning his friendship sooner?"

"Are you really going to do that?"

"Yes I will."

"Why?"

"Because I do not love him as I should."

"Oh Alice," Cynthia threw her arms around me and I gained my friend back.

After I was ready to depart and the wedding party had ended and I did the last thing I had to before leaving Stanley Hall and gave the ring to Mr. Henry before departing to where my mother was being held at.

"I will see you in a week then Mr. Henry."

"Are you sure you should be going to see her?"

"Of course she is my mother."

"Then give me a goodbye kiss."

"No Mr. Henry, we are not married."

"But we will be," he tried to kiss me and I averted it.

"Please I said no."

"Then go so you may be back soon and I will have this ring to your exact size."

"Yes and do not forget to wait for my arrival before you put out any word of our engagement, I wish to personally choose who will write it."

"It will be a hard task to convince mother but..."

"Will you do it for please? You only get announced to be engaged once in a lifetime, please convince her to wait, I shall not be long."

"Then I shall lock her up if I have to."

"Thank you Mr. Henry, and goodbye."

"Goodbye future wife," he bent down to kiss my hand and I saw Mr. Howard from the window looking at us and I was filled with certain hope that if I followed through this dilacerated pain we both felt might be soothed by the broken engagement. And at last I would be free to live my life alone as it was seen fit to God rather than chained to a husband for the sake of the family name and status.

As we set out for the asylum I realized I had been the villain of my own story, or my youth as Mrs. Hall pointed. Everything was of my own making, this hell of daily torment going along with other's opinions to forego my own had sealed me to other's people fate. In this journey I had only but followed everyone else's journey not daring to take a hold of my own out of fear. At every point where I should have stood firm against where people were trying to lead me my gentleness had only gotten me in trouble and would this fear of failure and incompetence always keep me its prisoner?

The asylum was quite big on a hill of land and housed many patients most of which were female who looked like half alive people as I walked through the halls where nurses came and went with their patients. The air was eerie, the nonchalant manners of the nurses disturbed me as they dragged by a screaming man with some kind of contraption pressed into his head, I assumed it hurt but what did I know of modern medicine for the ailment of minds?

"What is her name?" The lady up front asked me for the second time as I curiously looked around searching for mother.

"Mrs. Theresa Johnson."

"Ah here she is," she looked through her papers and finally found the name.

"And you are?"

"Her daughter."

"This way but be very careful or she will escape like she has tried many times."

"I will, thank you" I nodded taking in the news.

"You have a visitor Mrs. Theresa," the nurse said and unlocked the door to a bare room with caged windows.

"Mother?" I looked at her misery and was compelled to get her out of there.

"Alice?" She asked with her big brown eyes though her once beautiful smile was but gone, some of her teeth had rotten.

"Mother I... Missed you so much," I brought her close to me like a child, she was shivering in cold from the flimsy outfit they gave her, what kind of institution was this?

"Oh you are so warm," just then I caught of whiff of stench, when had she last been bathed?

"I will leave you two to it," the nurse walked away and Edna stood by the door.

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No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.