Outdoors the spring rain fell on a dark day exactly like the one I met Lord Joseph though I wished to go out and then Mrs. Hall startled me.

"Oh my goodness child you are up!" Mrs. Hall said.

"Mrs. Hall finally, where have you been the last three days?"

"I was in London seeing a doctor for my eyes did no one tell you?"

"No I think they have been busy preparing for the Spring Dinner, and how are your eyes?"

"Better now, the doctor said I should be fine with these," she showed me her new spectacles.

"I am glad... But you must leave me now and go tell Lord Joseph the truth I cannot take it anymore."

"Child what are you talking of?"

"Mrs. Hall do you not remember how I begged you to talk to him?"

"I do child and I spoke to him of the situation still he does not care for it, he says he fancies you all the same."

"He does?"

"Yes and this was before I left so you have nothing to worry about."

"But he cannot be serious, he is not thinking straight."

"Who thinks straight when they fancy someone my dear?" Mrs. Hall laid a box on top of the bed. "And while I was in London the young master made sure I bought you this," she laid a box on top of the bed.

"What is it?"

"Come take a look," she smiled and I walked to the box to see a new dress and hat.

"What could I need it for?"

"I do not know but if you accept it you will surely be giving him reasons to believe you are inclined to accept him."

"Accept him? No, we must send it back then for I am only inclined to be grateful for his care and nothing else, also I am going back to my room today." I could not bear to have another gentleman try to sway me so I had to be severe with the Lord Joseph, it was the only right thing to do.

"The little lord Joseph would never look at you like a lady had he not been raised by the eccentric Mr. Howard so why are you throwing away what is bound to be the best offer you shall receive?" She closed the package worried about my sanity.

"Mrs. Hall I believe in Lord Joseph's goodness but facing the talk of society would prove to be too much for any man to bear. And I would not wish the same seclusion Mr. Howard enjoys on his son, he is too bright to be excluded from society is he not?"

"Yes he is bright and sociable, and oh dear if I were your age, still it is a pity, you two would make such a pretty couple."

"Mrs. Hall?"

"Yes?"

"Did you ever get married?"

"Oh no, never, though I was proposed to by two suitors I said no, hm how young I was," she reminisced.

"Why did you say no?"

"One day I may tell you, so will you still try to abandon us for London as I have thus heard?"

"It will be for the best."

"But it would be a pity to lose you just when things are getting on with Stanley Hall, why must you go? Has anything happened, has the staff been..." she tried to persuade me.

"No it is just so far away from my family, I would like to be near them you understand right?"

"Yes, alright then I will go give the poor little lord his gift back," Mrs. Hall did not counteract and she excused herself while I took out the robe lent for my use and went to the desk. I read through the book Adelia had given me once again and took out what I needed to write her a letter to arrange the transfer to my new job.

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..." Then the I knelt down and did as the priest had advised me, I prayed for deliverance from Stanley Hall quick.

In the morning the skies were finally clear so I forced myself out of the room for a walk in the grounds of Stanley Hall.

"Miss Stewart!" Lord Joseph came after me wearing garments as any gentlemen would unlike his own father.

"Good morning m'lord," I said back as my skin took in some of the warmth outside as if the weather had arrived with Joseph.

"Good morning."

"Is everything all right sir?"

"Well I am not sure, I have a problem to solve, will you lend me hand?"

"How may I help?"

"It seems someone gave me a dress and a hat but I have nowhere to wear it to," he joked.

"Ah..."

"May I be clear Miss Stewart?"

"M'lord I do not think..." He asked wanting to join my walk but when he saw I was to decline him he talked over me to make his point.

"I thought it was a sign from God when I found you on that rainy day, it was as if the world at last turned my way when we met."

"M'lord..."

"I have been looking for someone, not just a wife as some do, not a past time as boys do, it is more of a longing of the heart, it is a being ready to be at home you know?"

The young Lord Joseph was a true romantic, in every word, every look, you could feel it directed to everyone and everywhere. I did not know if it was the romance that made him happy or the happiness that made him romantic but he was the truest embodiment of the word, of thoughts and heart.

"I understand," I nodded sympathetically, wanting to hear him for the fact of knowing him yet trying to balance how far to let him talk as to not lead him on.

"And while in London I did meet my fair share of eligible ladies."

"I do not doubt it."

"Then do not doubt me thoughtless when I offer you myself. Other ladies have been thrown on my path to make an advantageous marriage and I do not care for it. As for you, you made it plain you would not be drawn into an engagement with me for money."

"You only met me the other day m'lord."

"If I told you I am an excellent judge of character would you believe me?"

"No," I thought him romantic but not smart, though I had no proof that being romantic made a particular person naive.

"Then tell me this, is it true or not you kept your distance until I heard about the lack of status coming from a connection between you and your grandfather?"

"Yes."

"And is it true you also made Mrs. Hall tell me such news right away instead of hiding the fact until I could no longer retire an engagement from you?"

"Yes."

"So one could conclude you are not a fortune hunter right?"

"Yes."

"Then marry me for me Miss Stewart? Well unless I have proven to be an intolerable company which I believe is not the case."

"Lord Joseph..."

God looking at his face, the pure earnestness of his bright eyes, the tenderness of his smile I might live to think back on this day forever, how an eligible handsome young man asked and I responded.

"I cannot marry you."

Then imagine how the heavens would smite me after kissing Mr. Howard I wed his son, his only son and living heir. Still we had only known each other a week at most and Lord Joseph was persisting on something he could not possibly be sure about, not yet anyways.

"Why? What impedes you? Are you otherwise engaged?"

"I am not but I have to go, soon my marching orders will come and you must forget all about me."

"You cannot tell me what I will remember or forget you can only answer why? Tell me, is it my hideous face? Have I finally found a lady who thinks it a torture to look at me?"

"M'lord stop it..." I tried not to smile at his square jaw and soft cheeks but without any warning he swooped in for a kiss, "no Joseph!"

"Why not?" He tried another kiss and I averted it.

"Because I do not want you to kiss me," I lost my nerve from what had just happened, like father like son.

"Kiss me, then tell me you will not marry me."

"No and you will never repeat this Joseph, never you hear me?"

"Alice please think about it."

"Never again Joseph," I left him and washed my face off but couldn't get the taint of the sin off my lips.

What punishment did the girl who let her employer kiss her and who got kissed by his son deserved? The sin ate at my heart and it ached my conscience what kind of girl was I to let this immorality occur? I would never be the same and I would never look at anyone again the without being ashamed and aware of the awful sinner I was.

"Miss Stewart?" Mrs. Hall stopped me as I watched my back to make sure Joseph was not following me or that Mr. Howard had not just seen what happened.

"Yes?"

"Letter for you," she gave me the letter and I opened it right away.

"Thank you," I said and sat by a window to read it.

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No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.