"Sir please stop," I asked with closed eyes hoping the master had his self-control to diverge his hands from my face, his lips from mine.

"I cannot," he answered not holding back his kisses I finally opened my eyes, this was happening, it was real, it was no longer a dream though the night tried to trick me.

"You must Mr. Howard!" I took his fingers off me then pushed his chest away covering myself.

"Alice do not be angry," he bowed his head in frustration and did not look in my eyes.

"But I am, you should have stopped and I..." I wanted to blame him for everything but it was simply not true. "I should not have let you draw me sir this is all my fault," I frantically put the robe on top of my nightgown where it belonged.

"No this is my fault, you were there, within my reach and I could not keep away from you any longer."

"Yes you could have, we have our free will do we not?"

"No I do not, you have enslaved me."

"I have not!"

"You have, can you not see it, are you blind?"

"I am not blind!"

"Then you see how mad you drive me!"

"Me?" His words upset me.

"Yes you, or why would you insist in not noticing my inclination towards you?"

"Sir may I leave you?" I said like a servant not like the girl he had just kissed, his inclination meant nothing, if a girl was to stop for every man who showed interest in her she might as well make a living of heartbreaks.

"No you may not."

"I must," I hardened myself against his stubborn words meant to lead my feelings on only for his advantage.

"Then promise me you will not find another employer because of what I have done." He held my hands not knowing it was too late, I was already in search of something far away from Stanley Hall.

"I wish to sleep sir," I said with my head raised making no eye contact while my legs shook under my nightgown, it did not suit me to lie.

"Then promise me Alice!" His words came out through his teeth.

"I cannot promise you anything sir," I took my hands away.

"I will not let you walk out until you do!"

"Mr. Howard," I tried walking out on him and he stopped me with his body.

"If you do not stay here I will find a way to make you," he threatened me and I wished to run away from the same man who had minutes ago showed me affection.

"How? You may be rich but you are not the king of the world Mr. Howard even your reach has its limits now let me go."

"I will not," I should not have said anything because he crushed a kiss against my lips and I shoved him off before running up to my room where I locked the door holding the letter to Adelia safe in my hands.

I, Miss Alice Stewart had been kissed by Mr. Howard her employer, the man I knew sooner or later would have me wrapped around his finger. The thought of the first kiss with him was like a perfume I could not rub off my skin no matter how hard I tried. But the situation he had put me under was unforgivable; he was the one driving me mad and I could not endure the fated fall once he decided to toss me out.

Attempting to sleep was a mercy I could not find for whenever I drifted into sleep I felt his lips on me again, felt Mr. Howard's hands on my neck and I jerked up from the bed immediately trying to shake the sensation off. It would be impossible to recuperate from where Mr. Howard had led me this night, since he was the first I had seen as a man, the first kiss, the first touch, and at least I could take some comfort I had not been wholly seduced in just one night still I had gone too far.

The next day after the luncheon Gertie set off to see her brother's wife, turns out he had become a widower and with two children to feed on his own he wondered if the master might have some service for him. He was good farmer and an excellent gardener before he moved to London to work in the factories with his wife and the master accepted Gertie's brother in the land of Stanley Hall at once.

"The master is either in a really good mood or he really has big plans for this old house, imagine that, we will have gardens again at Stanley Hall," Mrs. Hall rejoiced and I nodded waiting to go into town to see Adelia for lessons.

"I believe he does, this article really put him a good light for society, he even got a few calling cards today and Gertie will she return tomorrow?" Mr. Bert asking reading the newspaper at breakfast.

"Yes and thank you Ms. Johnson for filling in for Gertie while she is gone I want to ask the master to rid of your housemaid duties so that you can be Gertie's right hand from now on." Mrs. Hall planned which meant I would be the sole housemaid and I was not ready for that since Ms. Johnson sometimes would serve the master instead of me.

"Thank you Mrs. Hall I'd be most obliged if you did, I have really liked being in the kitchen," Ms. Johnson was so happy about it I could only feel selfish.

"Miss Stewart I almost forgot your confession is today you may go to the parish while Ms. Johnson takes care of serving the food to Mr. Howard." Mrs. Hall gave me the good news and it also seemed her and God had timed it perfectly when I might need to confess my sins.

"Thank you Mrs. Hall, would you like anything from town?"

"Ms. Johnson?" Mrs. Hall asked in the hall.

"I should wait for Gertie to get back," Ms. Johnson replied, "even though the master said I should plan a menu for his friends I think its best right?"

"A menu? He never mentioned it to me," Mrs. Hall was stupefied and so were we.

"Do you believe Mr. Howard is planning an April ball here? Like the ones Earl William used to give ages ago?" Mr. Bert questioned and Mrs. Hall just shook her head smiling.

"Oh dear how exciting it will be, the whole town will be talking about it, if not London as well..." Mrs. Hall declared it and with every decision the master made I felt more and more far removed from the Stanley Hall I once knew.

"I will go get ready then," I smiled to hide my feelings and walked back to my room.

One day the master disliked society and the next he planned balls, it was a big façade his words. And was a kiss all he was after the other night? I guess he was only the devil in disguise as mother referred to certain men and I had been the fool who believed his sincerity.

"Alice!" Mr. Howard yelled when he saw me but I ran up the stairs.

He followed me until I reached the servant's quarter where he restrained from coming inside and I went down the other way finally making it out of the house to confess then to Adelia's house.

"Miss Stewart this way," the priest said and I walked in to the confession booth.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned," I began the confession.

"And how have you sinned?"

"I let myself be seduced by a man."

"In what way child?"

"I allowed him to kiss me and I deeply regret my naivety for he is a liar and I want, no I need to be delivered from him."

"Well sins always have a way of trapping the naive so you must be hold on fast to God's commandments, do you have a prayer bible?"

"Yes I do."

"Then you must pray the Lord's Prayer in the morning so that you may be kept from temptation throughout the day."

"I will then."

"Is that all?"

"I am not sure, you see I am looking for work elsewhere, far from this man and I have been hiding it, is that a sin?"

"No, the sin would be to remain but you must go."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else?"

"No that is all."

"Then go in peace child, in the name of the Faher, the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen."

"Amen," I got up and went to Adelia's place where we spent an hour or so styling hair, she then gave me a book filled with instructions for me to read for our next lesson.

This day Adelia also wrote a letter to her friend in London asking for help to find me a lady's maid post in the near future. My mind was made up to find as soon as possible another employer, I was afraid of what I could be led to do under Mr. Howard's influence.

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No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.