《I See You》chapter 25: rooftop
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The weeks leading up to homecoming come and go in a blink of an eye. All my spare time is spent with Felix, whether that's hanging out with our friends or with my brothers. Or when it's just two of us. I didn't think it was possible to feel this close to another person, but I'm proven wrong time and time again.
Felix is stealing every breath away from me. The time I'm not with him is spent thinking about him, wishing he was next to me. I go to sleep thinking about him and wake up to him being my first thought. Every inch of me burns for him and it scares me just how fast I've become to depending on him.
Just how much I like being around him.
And how much I hate when we have to go our separate ways.
"Do you know what color Felix is wearing yet?" Isla asks for the fifteenth million time as I stand in front of my bathroom mirror deciding what to do with my hair.
"I don't know, Isla," I sigh as I decide on just pulling half of it up into a messy loop with a black scrunchie. "Does it really matter?"
"Yes! You don't want to match?" She questions and I find myself rubbing my temple as I reach for my phone with my free hand, pressing my lower back into the counter.
"Isla, I could care less what color tie Felix is going to wear to the dance," I tell her honestly. "He could wear sweatpants and I wouldn't care. Besides that, my dress in black. Everything goes with black!"
"Yeah, but you have all those colorful patches. He could match one of those colors," she hums in response, ignoring me lack of interest. "I found a tie in the same color of my dress for Miles. It's going to be so cute."
"I'm sure it will be but Felix can wear whatever he wants, okay? But, if it'll make you feel better I will mention something, okay?" I ask as I push away from the counter and walk out to my room.
"No, no," she sighs. "You're right, Vee. I'm sorry I'm being so over the top."
"It's okay," I smile softly as I grab my bag from the edge of my bed, resting the strap on my shoulder as I head for the hallway. "I love you, Isla. Over the top and all."
"I love you too," she tells me. "Miles is going to look seriously cute though."
"You'll both look insanely cute," I encourage and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear as I walk towards the staircase. "I hate to cut this conversation short, but I'm going over to Felix's to hang out. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yes, tell Felix I say hi."
"I will," I smile to myself. "Bye Isla."
"Bye Stevie," she says before I bring the phone away from my ear, hiding the bright red button on the screen before sliding the device into my back pocket.
"Stevie!" Lena's bubbly tone catches my attention just before I reach the stairs. I turn my head at the sound of her voice, and find her sitting in Isaac's room with him, Riker and Mika – each with a game controller in their hand.
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"Hey guys," I smile gently as I step towards the door of Isaac's room.
"Running off, baby sister?" Riker questions, hitting pause on the controller to give me all their attention.
"Just going to see Felix," I tell him as I lean into the door frame.
"You two seem to be hitting it off," Mika comments and a laugh leaves Isaac's lips before I can respond.
"I'd say they're more than hitting it off. I think this is the longest I've seen her without him next to her," he comments. "They're basically glued at the hip."
"Says you," I stick my tongue out. "Yes, we're hitting it off."
"The two of you are really cute together," Lena tell me. "I don't think I've ever seen you so bubbly. You light up around him."
I shrug, "Have you guys seen Greyson?"
"I think he was hanging out with dad today," Riker admits. "Why?"
"It's not important," I wave it off. "I just haven't seen him much lately."
"He's kind of off in his own world lately," Riker adds, before changing the direction of the conversation. "Am I going to need to cover for you again?"
"No, I'll be home before curfew," I assure him.
"What does he mean cover for you again?" Isaac asks.
"Nothing," I tell him, wanting to keep it between me and Riker.
"She didn't come home until six am after her first date with Felix," Riker reveals and I want to yell at him, but know I have no ground to stand on.
"What?" Lena gasps. "What happened?"
"Nothing, we fell asleep," I laugh. "I'm leaving now. I'll be home later."
"Bye Vee," Riker shouts, followed by the three other people in the room.
Grabbing my keys out of the front pocket of my bag, I head out to the front and climb into my car. Starting the engine, I back out and turn around in the driveway before heading for the front gate. My thoughts drifting back to what Isaac said about us being glued at the hip.
He couldn't be more right.
Felix and me have spent more time together in the last few weeks, than it feels like I've spent with anybody else. And I'm not tired of him. All I do is crave more time with him, more seconds in his presence and I can only imagine I'll never get sick of him. Even when we're sitting in total silence. All I want is to be with him, every second of everyday and I never want it to stop.
My fear of him suddenly gone, because I have nothing to be scared of. He's the light I didn't know I needed in my life and with everything else going on, he is exactly what I need. Ever since he came into my life, things have gotten better.
My parents are working out their issues, my family is finally back on track and I've worked on my problems I never knew I had. Things I needed to work on and with Felix's help, unaware or not – I'm fixing them. I'm not so on edge, more at ease. Happier than I've ever felt.
"Hey Nicks," Felix opens the door when I get to his house, a grin on his face.
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My favourite grin.
"Hi," I grin and step towards him, kissing his cheek. "How are you?"
"Good," he hums out. "Pizza is on the way."
"Yum," I clap my hands excitedly as I step into the house. "Isla says hi, by the way."
A small laugh falls from his lips as he leads me into the kitchen. "Were you with her before you came this way?"
"No, we were talking on the phone," I explain. "She's being very insistent that we match for homecoming."
"Is that so?" He asks. "I thought you said your dress is black?"
"It is," I laugh and smile gently as I loop my arms around his waist. "What's the plan for tonight, baby?"
"Rooftop picnic?"
"Are picnics our thing now?" I question, balling the fabric up in my hands.
"I think so," he nods. "That okay?"
"A rooftop picnic kind of sounds perfect."
"Okay, good," he chuckles as the doorbell goes off. "I'll grab that. Why don't you get some drinks from the fridge and I'll meet you in my room?"
"Sounds good," I hum out and walk into the kitchen, searching through the shelves to get us two drinks.
In the last few weeks, we've both become familiar with each other houses and the things in them. The two of us spending an almost unhealthy amount of time with each other. Except, we've been nothing but happy around each other. A smile never flickering from my face because I can't help but feel pure joy when I'm around him.
"Alright, Nicks," Felix hums when he joins me in his room and holds up a large cardboard box. "Half yours, half mine."
"Yum," I grin, the scent filling my nose. "Shall we?"
Felix nods his head and climbs up onto his bed, sliding the window open after setting the pizza box on the nightstand. Climbing out, he holds his hand out of the box and sets it up on the flat part of the roof before holding his hands out for the drinks. Setting my bag on his bed, I climb out after him and follow him up onto the same spot we sat the first night we spent together.
A chill runs up my spine at the memory. The first time I realized he's more than the rumor mill at school. More than everything I ever thought he was and he's proven to be more than I ever imagined. He's unlike anyone I've ever been around.
"The last time we were up here feels like so long ago," Felix says once we're settled on the rooftop. Taking in the darkening sky, bleeding colors of red and orange.
"Why's that?" I ask with a small smile.
"Well, for one," he hums as he rests his hands on my knees, rubbing his thumbs over the tear in my jeans. "The last time we were up here, you weren't sitting anywhere near me and now you're sitting on top of me."
"First, I'm not sitting on top of you," I laugh and adjust the hem of my cropped button up top. "I'm sitting between your legs, and secondly, the last time we were up here you were just some guy."
"Opposed to now?" He asks.
"Now you're a guy I like kissing," I grin and lean forward, resting my hands on either side of his neck and meeting his lips. "Like a lot," I say when I pull away.
"Good to know," he laughs, squeezing my hips before opening the pizza box next to me. "How are things with your parents?"
"Really?" I laugh as I grab a slice of pizza. "I just told you I like kissing you and you want to talk about my parents now?"
He shrugs. "Last time you started and never finished. Figured you might want to now."
"Felix," I snicker and shake my head at him. "My parents are good. Better than good actually. Things seem to be going really well, so far or at least...I've been distracted enough not to only be thinking about them."
"Is that a good or bad thing?" He asks.
My lips curl up at his concern. "It's good."
"Oh, yeah?"
I nod my head and move my hand down his torso, picking the fabric between my two fingers and squeezing it gently. "You make everything better. I can barely breathe when you're not around, if I'm totally honest."
"You make everything better too," he hums, tossing his pizza crust into the box. "You're kind of perfect, Nicks."
"I don't know if I'd go that far," I shake my head and smile when he curls his pinky around mine, bring our hands over his chest until my hand is rested over his heart. Curling my fingers against the edge of his chest, I run my thumb over the yellow fabric of his sweatshirt. "You might be though."
Felix's eyes light up in my direction.
"Your heart is beating so fast," I admit and exhale softly, meeting his eyes. "Are you nervous, Felix?"
"Around you?" He asks before shaking his head. "Never."
"You sure?" I smile.
He nods his head and exhales slowly, pulling my hand tighter to his chest. "Stevie?"
I hum.
"This is yours," he tells me and my eyes settle on our hands intertwined, realizing exactly what he's talking about. He doesn't have to say more than that for me to know exactly what he's talking about.
His heart.
He's giving me his heart.
And somehow, telling me that his heart is mine is way more intimidate than saying the three little words. So much so that my heart aches for him, but I don't know how to respond. What to say, or how to even react. Or if I'm even there with him yet.
God, his smile.
I don't know when it happened, but it did.
My heart is his too, but knowing it and sharing it are two very different things and my chest feels tight thinking about having to say it out loud. The only thing I can muster the courage to do is smile and lean forward, running my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck before kissing him. Putting all the passion, everything I'm too scared to say into the one kiss – hoping it's enough until I find the courage to form the right sentence.
There is snow on the ground. And I'm pissed. I was in sandals yesterday! And now there is snow outside.
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