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Her reaction to what she heard was normal to me, but I just didn't expect her to have a panic attack, I bet she is scared of me now. Who wouldn't, my reputation is not that great. The problem is I can't just get rid of her, I'm too deep in this with her, I don't want her with anyone else but me. I never thought I'd love again, yet I did uncontrollably to this little goddess. She is mine and I am hers.

She has to accept me, she needs to accept me. When she started shaking uncontrollably I freaked out and quickly held her, I called out her name so many times but it seemed to be doing nothing. She wasn't responding to anything. For a moment she didn't look like she was there, I knew she was losing consciousness. Was it too much for her?

I am a killer, she did say she loves me back, but does she want to be part of this life? My life? She can't leave me, I can't go through that pain again. The last time I fell inlove I gave my all into a loveless relationship ending up being a one sided thing.

Eva used me for the money I inherit, it took me a while to realize she never did love me, thats why I now know how to read people so well. I refuse to be used ever again. But Nicole is no Eva, my kitten is different, too innocent for my world but I can't just let her go now that I have found her. That's not going to happen.

Its been two whole days since she passed out after her panic attack, Donna has tried to make me leave her side and atleast distract myself with work but how can I when she is always on my mind. We have a private emergency room in the mansion for if one of my man had been shot or something. The family doctor said that this doesn't look like its the first time she has had a panic attack.

Although this one seemed to be severe and has taken a tool on her and that's why she hasn't woke up. Her body is slowly coming back to consciousness. I just hope she doesn't want to leave me after knowing about me and my family. I wouldn't allow her to leave anyways but still.

Its 4pm in the afternoon and I'm in my room with my kitten sleeping right beside me. Damian has taken over for a while on the other legal businesses for now since I am occupied and Stefano is with his parents and siblings waiting for his twin brother to come home. Donna and Micheal do come in my room even though I don't like anyone in my room except Maria and kitten but since my love is here they come to visit her.

In the middle of signing another document, I suddenly hear a groan from my right. Looking down Nicole is moving meaning she is finally waking up. Her eyes slowly open showing their beautiful green color. She smiles at me for a little bit before her face turns cold.

She gasps, her eyes starting to get glossy. "Gattino please listen to me" I plead with her before she has another panic attack. She hesitantly nods her head. Taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you from the beginning, I'm sorry I brought you in this messed up life of mine, I'm sorry I fell inlove with you. I'm sorry for everything, please just believe me when I say I really do love you" she sighs and tears fall down her face before she completely starts sobbing.

I quickly engulf her in a hug hoping to bring comfort to my Queen. If I could've stayed away from her, we wouldn't be this deep. But I couldn't even after the first night I met her, I tried to get rid of whatever I felt for her by calling Britney over to release some stress but it felt wrong all of it felt wrong.

When she saw me the next morning I was embarrassed and ashamed to say the least. I never want her to see me with any other girl ever again. She clutched my shirt, "I c-can't stop (hiccup) loving you, even if (hiccup) the logical thing t-to do (hiccup)is to leave, I don't want to leave you" her voice muffled since her face is hidden on my chest.

I kiss her forehead and put my face in her hair. She sighs again and removes her head from me and looks straight to me. "I don't know what I'm doing but I'm not leaving you" my eyes had unshed tears the moment she said that and I kiss her showing her how much I need her. She kisses me back a little hesitant but she does.

I pull away, smiling at her, she gives me a small smile back "I can't just pretend that this is nothing, its a huge obstacle in this relationship, I shouldn't be fine with this" she whispers the last part.

"I know its a lot to take in but I can't change who I am or what I do, I was born to be who I am, I just want you to accept me" tears streaming down her face. "Please give me time" I nod and kiss her forehead.

"Anything for you my queen"

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