😏

Tuesday

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I'm leaving for London next month and I'm so freaking excited.

Dad said that I could bring someone so I'm thinking about bringing Kian, it would be nice to have someone around that you know.

When I was 11 I've always wanted to move to London so I was away from my mom and because British accents are really pretty. I used to wish I would find a British boyfriend and just listen to his accent– obviously that is what goes through my mind at a young age.

Every year I would try to save my money so I would have enough to buy an apartment and buy furniture so I could design the house how I would want it when I move to London...

Here's the thing about saving at 11 years old; You can't! You always want to get the latest doll or buy candy after school or whatever an eleven year old girl needs.

...

"...And then he was the first one to like my recent Instagram photo!" Daisy screams through the phone. She telling me about this guy who she thinks is hot that she met at DisneyLand yesterday. To be honest I'm not really listen, I know i know I'm a terrible friend- but I'm just distracted... I'm not feeling mentally well. I'm a sad sack today and grumpy.

"Maybe he was bored?" I said with zero emotion.

"Are you ok Laura you don't sound as happy you normally are?" Daisy says concerned.

"I'm-"

"-what's wrong?!" Daisy interrupts me before I could say if I'm fine or not, "do you want me to bring my friends Ben and Jerry over?" She adds with a little giggle.

"Well if you really wanna know... Kian hasn't texted me once all day and yes I have left a few messages but he hasn't read it yet!... Ugh I'm probably just being my paranoid anxious self and a clingy girlfriend" I blur out.

"Laura he's maybe busy with YouTube or something, He will message you when he has time... Sorry Laura I have to get back to work my boss is yelling at me Bye!" She hung up before I could say bye, she must've been in a rush.

Daisy is very energetic and outgoing. She is learning to be a midwifery at college but she also has a part time job at Urban Outfitters.

She has long wavy blonde hair -she hates getting her hair cut- and teal eyes, she was also born in Australia and lived their with family until she was six then she moved to New York for two years, then she moved to Los Angeles where she is now and left her family in New York. Sometimes you can hear her Australian accent.

...

"DAD!" I yell hopefully he's home. Where else could he be? In another country, nope! He has no traveling for his latest client.

"WHAT? ARE YOU OK?" He yells back.

"IM HUNGRY!"

"Get food then" He yelled back.

"But why!" I yell back.

"Get you lazy ass down stairs and get yourself food... actually No! Get out of your room and go outside instead!" He yells and a door makes a huge slam with a very loud bang. I think dad got angry, oops.

I squirm out of bed and had a shower. Maybe dad is right, I need to get out of the house it's probably why I'm not feeling good and it would probably make we feel better. I could find more pokemon on Pokèmon GO! Yass!

After the shower I brushed my teeth, put my contacts in and got changed into a black pair of leggings with a flannel around my waist, a Guns N' Roses shirt plus my new favourite perfume. (Outfit above)

Yeah, I think I'm presentable for the outside now. Not an hour ago I wasn't- My brown eyes were blood shot hair was a mess, smelt like ass or shit which made me feel like shit so basically I was shit.

"Dad I'm going for a walk" I said while slowly stomping down the stairs to the front door.

"Good" he replied. Ok Mr. Sassy pants!

Before I leave I sent a text to the group between Lily, Daisy and I that "I'm walking around so I won't be home"

...

Few lefts and rights and found a few Pokèmon I've ended up at a park. A few more lefts and rights I've somehow ended up at Jc, Connor, Ricky and Kian's house. How did I end up here? What? Meh oh well, I wanted to catch up with them anyways.

I jump over their fence to their backyard and sat on a lounge chair. Maybe I could tan?

I'm not being a creepy girlfriend or friend I was just bored. I repeat in my head over and over...

"Laura?" Someone says from the back door. I spin my head around to where the voice came from "Trevor".

"What the fuck you doing here?" He laughed.

"I got bored at home so I thought why not come here and hang"

"Ok YASS queen lets go to Taco Bell!" He cheered waving his arms all over the place in excitement like a cheerleader which made me laugh.

"Oh wait your here for Kian ain't yah" he frowns. Not a real frown like a jokingly frown.

"Mm maybe but we could all go out for Taco Bell" I smirked.

Trevor agrees to go to Taco Bell and we walk inside.

"Hey cutiepatoti"

"Jc, I have a boyfriend" I look up to Jc standing in front of me and said.

"What! Who?"

"Me, you idiot" Kian said walking into the kitchen and wraps his arm around my waist and death glair Jc.

"Wow who knew" he chuckled and started walking away.

"Everyone" Trevor mumbled loud enough for him to hear

...

Everyone agreed to go to Taco Bell so we went for dinner. Kian and Sam were acting a bit sad and deep in thought. We are on our way back home to their house and Jc and Ricky are playing Pokèmon Go jumping whenever they catch a Pokèmon and me and Kian hand In hand.

Kian stopped making me stop and since we are at the front everyone stopped behind us.

"He's doing it" someone whispers didn't catch who it was but I think I was Connor.

"Laura... We need to tell you something" Kian said grabbing both of my hands in his. I give him a small smile for him to continue.

He sighs and looks down at his feet "O2L is going on a small tour" he looks up and looks into my eyes. My emotions are all over the place first I was feeling shock now I'm feeling sadness.

I know me and Kian haven't been dating for a while but I don't think I can go back to before I met him. Tour... No!

"For one and a half months and we want you to come with us" he smiles, "so would you?" Kian grabs my shoulders and moves closer to me.

"Please Laura! I want you to bring lily too" Sam said.

"Um, when does the tour start?" I look at Kian waiting for him to answer my question.

"Next month" He answered. Next month!? I can't I'm in London! Wait so does this mean Kian can't come with me to London?

Shocked "I can't I'm going to London to look at a job dad gave me. Sorry" I said and kissed Kian on his cheek.

"Oh" Kian mumbled.

"Wait London!? That's a city we are visiting we could visit you and you can come on that show!" Ricky gasped and Kian release from me. "When do you go to London?" Ricky added.

"The start of next month" I said

"That's when we start tour... we are visiting a few other places before London" Ricky said.

"Ok we will talk more about it once we get more information about it" Kian grab my hand and said. We walk into the house. It's late now so everyone goes to their rooms.

"Do you wanna stay the night?" He asks and I nodded with a smile.

We walk up to his room and he strips off, only wearing his boxers. My eyes shocked. "What? We are dating" he laughed.

"Yeah true, If your striping of then I am too!" I laughed and took my clothes off leaving me in my underwear and bra.

We jump into bed and snuggled up to each other.

"I'm sorry I didn't message you today we were busy organising the tour and wishbone had to go to the vet and also Sam's phone number was leaked and-" he blurted out but I interrupted him with a kiss because he was just going on and on and on, had to make him shut up some how. I pull away and a smile appeared on his face.

"It's fine, I forgive you, but to be honest my stress was kicking in when you weren't texting me" I said.

"I'm sorry babe. I promise, no matter how busy I am I will always try and message you oh and my mom but no one else" Kian said.

"Why just me and your mom? what about your dad, siblings, o2l or other YouTube friends?" I asked.

"I'm a momma's boy so I try and ring her once a day just to hear about her day and how's she going, and I care about you just as much as I care about my mom and for o2l I see them everyday nothing new happens with them. Its fine" he explained. It's getting late, my eyes keep slowly shutting. Must keep my eyes open, he's going to say something. Eyes are slowly closing, they are wining! Noo... eyes closed.

"Good night Laura" Kian whispers, "I love you" he adds and kissed my shoulder and snuggled up to it.

My eyes shot open when I heard 'I love you'

He loves me?... Do I love him back?... Isn't it early to love someone?... I don't know anything about love... What is love?... Am I feeling love?... Why do we love?... How do you know if you love someone?...

A sleepless night thinking about love, all because he said those three words that are hard for me to say back...

"I love you"

----------------------------------------------

Back from holiday!

Wooh, yay!

Now I have school, eww!