I had a plan to keep my position in the smokey-eye sextuplets. It would take quite a bit of manouvering and some help from Hervé but in all I thought it was workable. 

"You can't just... unfall in love with him." Hervé is saying as he tries to sooth the crying baby in his hands

"Well I have a plan, don't I?" I challenge, cooing softly at mine and watching her calmly smile at me

"You're a natural Funke." Vik says looking over my shoulder at the beautiful calm baby girl

"I'm as shocked as you are." I admit smiling at the little one in my arms who was staring up at me

I didn't think I had a mothering bone in my body and yet here we were, vibing like a mad ting.

"Babies only stare like that at beautiful people." Vik warmly offers, gently rubbing the baby's head

She coos calmly, closing her eyes. I smile up at Vik, excited that I was good for something at least. I was going to be a beast when Hervé's stolen-sperm baby arrived in this world. Levi and I would be posted up in the maddest outfits all over the gram. Mum would have to block me! I don't know if it's the fact that Vik's an all round child expert, or if it's the luscious curls of his hair framing his face in ways that made me want to run my hands through it or generally how his face was so beautiful and open I immediately wanted to trust him with my darkest secrets, but I liked Vik. 

"I didn't ask you how your surgery went..." I say, breaking my admiration of the good doctor, 

He smiles and pushes some stray strands of hair from his face. I found it absolutely cheesy when Lucas did that but Vik... there was something honest and sensual about how he did it. I wanted to sit on his lap and tug his hair back while we kissed. 

"It was good. I was... I was actually just mending a hole in a girl's heart... She was slightly younger than you of course..." He teases as my eyes widen

"Wow!" I sigh in disbelief as he chuckles softly,

"Must be nice. I thought this was the prenatal for dads?" Hervé grouchily states, having little success with calming the little bundle of joy in his hands

Hervé was always trying to get me kicked out of class, despite begging me to come with him. Last time I'd changed a nappy in record time and he'd claimed it was my "female fingers" just to stop Vik from giving me the grand prize of a chocolate bar. I didn't want to be a show off or anything but my baby was mad quiet compared to the rest of the lot. I'd been helping Hervé with as much as I could while he waited for his baby but the truth of it is the man was bare stressed about single fatherhood. 

Vik was a pediatric cardiologist and a single father himself and led the classes, killing two birds with one stone, on the one hand underprivileged babies whose parents were too ill or dead needed the human contact and people coming into fatherhood needed the skills. 

"Either you want me in the classes with you or you don't love. You'll have to choose." I sigh at Hervé, who was glaring at Vik of all people

Vik walks over to Hervé, showing him the right angle to hold the baby. 

"What did he want?" Hervé gripes as I wave goodbye to Vik

"The man is practically an angel Hervé. Allow it." I sigh, patting him on the cheek tenderly

"Maybe if he kept himself to himself I would!" Hervé frowns, handing me a lolipop

One of us doesn't speak English and I'm not pointing fingers at who. 

"As I was saying, I have a plan." I reiterate, getting back to important matters like how to not be in love with Lucas Roland the crown Lothario of greater South London so I can stay as part of the sextuplets. 

"Does it involve talking to him about the fact that you're in love?" Hervé wonders, which isn't even the point

Why would he say that?

"He said we'll talk about it when I'm ready and this is me... getting ready bruv. It's like you're not paying attention, love." I explain, having said this about five times each day since the dinner with my family

"Have you told him the plan yet?" Boyd cheerfully wonders, walking up to us like he owned the hospital

I don't appreciate that he thinks it's mad jokes. This was my life we're talking about here! 

"Wow...can't believe you're being racist right now bruv!" I complain, shaking my head at Boyd

"The nerve of you! Just go show the man your charts yeah? Instead of staring at the same video he sent you over again!" He teases heartlessly

Can't believe my own brother/cousin would be this heartless, outing my secrets like this just because I'd looked at my phone a few times!

You think you have family members... 

"She was too busy flirting with the doctor." Hervé accuses me, which is completely uncalled for 

"Oooooh, not sure how Aunt Fola's going to take that. She's already looking up wedding venues and what dates Auntie Sade is available to sing at your reception." Boyd teases

"Sade is going to be there?" Hervé, clearly distracted again, exclaims

"Of course! She's a family friend, her and Aunt Fola go way back, gave Funke her middle name and everything. My mum's already told her church group she's going to be an in-law to the queen. She's selling wedding invites and everything." Boyd chuckles as I start to reconsider my life

Faking my death can't be that hard really. I could just fake my death and move to California. Boyd won't snitch... That way Luca will be the one to have to explain to my family that we were just fuckbuddies, that the falling in love was just one-sided and I was working on making it stop. 

"Are we off for these drinks or?" Boyd prods, taking my hand

Looks like I won't be telling Hervé my plan to navigate being in love with Lucas Roland. At least not today anyway. 

"I bought a ticket to California by the way." I say to Boyd, defeated as I follow him down the street and towards a bar, Hervé trailing us happily

Apparently he's also a big Sade fan. I figured I should reward myself for all the shenanigans, the new firm, the completed project with my name on it. I'd probably need some space from Luca. It'd all occur naturally of course, tomorrow was my last day working for him, next week the project with Angus would wrap, we'd have less and less excuses for being around each other as much...

"You're going to love my place sweets! Can't wait to show you guys around." Boyd says opening the door to the pub

I step in, making to remove my coat when pink balloons and confetti fill the air. I was ready to throw a kick just from the noise of it all when I realize I knew these faces, and the banner said "CΘNGRΔTŪLΔTIΘNS FŪNKΣ" in they Bey Delta Kappa BΔK font... the one from HΘMΣCΘMING

That's me...

I'm FŪNKΣ! 

I turn to Boyd for some kind of explanation as he pulls me in for a hug, shouting "He asked me to keep it a surprise." over the familiar whistle, drumline and trumpets. There's a small line of dancers in pink leotards, pink berets and thigh high boots doing the HΘMΣCΘMING intro dance and I am actually...I'm losing my mind as the last of them approaches me, offering me the hoodie and the shorts and the boots... Beyoncé's entire Beychella outfit and in pink too. I shakily accept it, just as she pulls me into the pub. I was definitely overwhelmed enough to cry as she drags me into the loo with her. I shakily do my best to change into the leotard and the hoodie and the jean shorts and the frilly iridescent boots, still unsure what was happening. The music for Crazy in Love was playing and I was doing my best to fight actual tears. 

The lovely lady who'd brought me to the loo does her best to put me back together again as I break into tears, crushing me to her divine bosom and making a ponytail of my hair before assuring me that I deserved whatever this was. I head out to the party, just in time as Drunk in Love/Swag Surfin/Diva/Everybody mad started playing. I find myself being pulled right in the middle of the dancers, which is bait because I knew all the choreo to Beychella, and especially this Diva/Everybody Mad part because I'd been so obsessed with it. 

I was having so much fun on the dance floor, Boyd had howled his voice sore and I was still some way off in believing this was happening. A Beychella themed surprise party congratulating me on my new architecture firm! I'd finally made my way to the bar for a drink when my gaze met Luca's. He was sitting across the bar, Hervé mumbling conspirator things into his ear. He lifts an eyebrow and winks at me as subtly as he can, my heart fluttering ferociously. He'd planned this that arrogantly beautiful toff! He'd planned this entire thing and I was just supposed to not be in love with him! I know because I'd shown him the choreography for partition/yoncé and he'd stopped me to ask if I could do that over here, here being his crotch. 

"I have to say Funke, you've got to be the smartest woman I've ever met." Maddie says, standing at just the right spot to break the staring contest between Luca and I.

I smile at her, mumbling thanks and lifting the glass to my lips. We'd never really talked much in my three years at the firm, so this was a bit of a shock to me. Everything was a bloody shock to me if I'm being honest. 

"Inspirational really. I haven't seen a scam go so smoothly since... Megan Markle became princess I suppose." She adds, smiling darkly at me before she walks off

I'm... I'm not sure I understood that conversation, other than she called me a scam? I turn to Boyd, who was already looking after me protectively. I smile to let him know it's OK before my gaze turns to where Lucas had been. He's not there. I can't find him anywhere in the pub. I'm not going to pout about it obviously. I'm not pouting, you are!

I was tired, sweaty and an emotional mess, still completely in disbelief about the surprise, still waiting as everyone slowly left for someone to ask me to give back the outfit. Between the Pregnancy photo backdrop photo booth and the dancers who were all so lovely and the deejay who was magnificent and the coworkers who were so very pleasant except for Maddie calling me a scam, I couldn't help but feel slightly sad to be heading to my own firm soon. Boyd and Hervé were hunched over in a corner, discussing something deeply as I smiled wistfully at no one in particular, fighting the tears in my eyes. 

"Could I interest you in a game of pool?" The familiar voice whispers in my ear, again my chest moves in the most unseemly of ways 

"Are you going to get emotional when I beat you at it?" I tease back, leaning into the ferociously wonderful feel of his lips on my cheek

Where had he resurfaced from?

"I'll let you win if you give me a little bit of that slow whining mo gradh." He offers softly, pulling me into him with a soft chuckle

This is the last time I show him any of Yoncé and I's moves. I turn around, apparently giving him the permission to grab my ass as I look up into his eyes. I was about to say something snarky back when his lips met mine. The new rules of engagement had a no kissing policy. It was hard enough keeping my sanity when he kissed me with a ferocious hunger like someone who'd been starved of it for years. 

"Get a bloody room you wee shite!" Hervé cries out in protest just as Lucas lifts me onto the pool table

I break the kiss with a soft chuckle, looking up into his beautiful brown eyes. He throws a glare at Hervé and Boyd, who were actively booing us now. 

"You want me to get security to kick them out?" He softly wonders, his voice dark with desire

I'm almost tempted to say yes... I rate family though, unlike the two clowns booing Luca and I 

"I'm ready to talk..." I sigh back softly